I don't own PJO/HOO.
The s'mores were Jason's idea.
After lunch, Jason had approached Piper with a wide grin on his face and a Leo in tow. She had agreed to the idea, mostly because she figured they could use a break. Something lighthearted and fun to distract them from all the bad stuff.
Unfortunately, Percy had overheard and seemed enthusiastic as well. Jason had apologetically explained that it was a Team "Save-Hera-from-a-tendril-cave-thingy" event only.
...They could work on the name later.
Percy had responded... interestingly. He had grabbed a surprised Hazel and Frank, declaring that they were going to have a Team "Kill-that-giant-guy-in-Alaska" club meeting before dragging his two bewildered friends away.
It was honestly a rather childish reaction, but Piper supposed she wasn't surprised to get it from Percy.
(Later she heard that after the impromptu club meeting, Percy had tried to hang out with Annabeth only to get a, "Sorry, Mark of Athena club members only," and a door to the face. It seemed a little petty for the Annabeth she knew, but she was also aware that Annabeth would tease Percy any chance she got, so maybe the story wasn't too far-fetched after all.)
It turned out, unsurprisingly, that Leo was a great guy to have for making s'mores. It was a lot easier to use Leo's custom flames than starting a campfire, and Leo did a good job of controlling his fire so that the marshmallows were evenly roasted.
The only problem was her friends' eccentric tastes.
"Jason, that's not even a s'more! You're just eating the pieces separately!"
"I like it better this way!" her boyfriend defended. "There's nothing wrong with it! And besides, I'm not actually eating the graham crackers. Just the marshmallows and chocolate."
Piper just stared at him, absolutely appalled. "That's not better!"
Leo laughed. "Leave him be, Pipes. So what if he's a huge weirdo?" And with that, the marshmallow in his hand burst into flames.
"What are you doing?" Piper cried. "It'll get burned!"
Leo quirked an eyebrow at her. "Uh, yeah. That's the point." The fire in his hand died down, revealing a marshmallow that was indeed burned to a crisp. The outside was blackened and cracked, absolutely ruined.
Leo popped it into his mouth.
"I cannot believe you two," Piper groaned.
"What?" Leo asked through the marshmallow sticking in his mouth.
Piper just shook her head, watching as Leo prepared another burnt marshmallow, this time for a s'more of his own. Jason shrugged in response to her obvious distress and broke off another piece of chocolate to eat.
Piper gave up on her friends and skewered a marshmallow of her own, holding it out to Leo's flaming hand. She carefully rotated it, determined to get the perfect golden-brown.
If she hadn't been so focused on the marshmallow, she might've noticed the sudden spark of mischief in Leo's eyes. Unfortunately for her, she didn't notice a thing.
Suddenly, the fire in Leo's hand flared up, briefly increasing in temperature, causing Piper's marshmallow to catch fire. She shrieked at the sudden development, and quickly withdrew her marshmallow, blowing out the flames. But it was too late. One side was already burned black.
"Leo! You ruined it!" Piper glared at her friend.
Leo held up his hands defensively, his laughter giving him away. "Oops?"
Piper stamped her foot in frustration. "I swear, you guys..."
"Sorry, Beauty Queen," Leo said. "I just figured... you know, don't knock it till you've tried it?" He gestured to the half-burned marshmallow. "So?"
Piper sighed. She didn't know why she was getting so worked up over s'mores, of all things. Maybe she was just extra emotional lately. In any case, it couldn't hurt to try her friend's preferred method.
"Fine." She prepared a s'more with Leo's specialty marshmallow and took a bite. The burned part tasted kind of like ash, but... not in a bad way? It contrasted well with the sweetness of the melted inside. She swallowed, and Leo looked at her expectantly.
"Not bad," she admitted. Leo grinned.
"See? I told you so!"
"Oh man, I've got to try that," Jason said, grabbing a new marshmallow for himself. Leo happily obliged, burning Jason's as well.
As the three of them ate way more sugar than was good for them, Piper felt herself relax. It was nice to hang out again, just the three of them. It almost made her forget everything that had been going on. Leo was acting like his old self again. There was nothing to worry about-
Wait.
Since when had Leo started acting like his old self again?
Piper eyed her friend warily. He seemed absolutely fine; he was laughing at something Jason said. The panic attack from this morning seemed like no more than a distant memory.
So why was she so nervous?
She decided to leave it be for now. There was no point in interrogating Leo about his apparent good mood, as that would break their easy atmosphere and likely wouldn't accomplish anything. But she was determined to keep a careful eye on things from then on.
After a while, they were starting to feel the effects of the massive number of sweets they had consumed. Piper and Leo stopped altogether, while Jason continued to nibble contentedly on a piece of chocolate. Leo idly began burning leftover marshmallow gunk off of his fingers.
"You know... this was a lot of fun," Leo said. "I just wish..."
Jason sat up a little as Leo trailed off. "What? What is it?"
"Oh it's nothing," Leo said, a little too quickly. "I just feel like the whole handcuff thing is bringing me down a bit. It seems kind of silly to enforce it right now, don't you think?"
Jason hesitated. "I mean, maybe-"
"No," Piper interrupted. "I don't think it's silly at all."
Truthfully, Piper had nearly forgotten about the handcuffs linked securely around Leo's ankle and the old, dull blade sticking out of the ground next to him. (She had gotten both the idea and the sword from Hazel. After all, the more hands Leo had available, the more marshmallows they could roast.)
"Besides, it's not like having them there is doing any harm, now is it?" Piper asked, a challenge sparking in her eyes.
Leo shrugged, looking down a little. "Well, no. But they just make me feel... I don't know. Like I'm a freak or something."
Jason startled at that. "Leo, you're not a freak!" He took a step forward, a determined look on his face, but Piper stopped him with a hand on his arm.
"Don't," she warned.
Jason turned back to her, lowering his voice a little. "I don't want him to feel like that just so-"
"Just so what? We can keep him safe?"
Jason sighed, annoyance flitting across his face. "He'll be just fine. We're both here! What could he possibly do?"
"I don't know," Piper said, glancing over Jason's shoulder to look at Leo, who was watching them curiously. "That's the problem."
Jason crossed his arms in front of him. "This is ridiculous. You're overreacting."
Piper recoiled at his words. "I'm overreacting? You're underreacting! Leo himself told us not to trust him!"
"But he would know when it was safe again!" Jason argued. "This is just supposed to be a fun activity between friends. Leo shouldn't have to feel bad right now."
"Maybe so, but you're going to be feeling a lot worse if you don't shut up and listen to me," Piper hissed. "Or are you forgetting that Leo told us not to trust him a few hours ago?"
Jason stared at her for a second, before smacking himself in the face. "Oh gods, I'm so stupid," he moaned.
Piper felt a little bad for him, but not really. He was being the ridiculous one here. She couldn't forget the words Leo had managed that morning: If you trust me now, I'll be dead by the end of the day.
She refused to let that happen.
"I'm sorry," Jason said, looking truly remorseful. "I just... I really wanted for it to be okay."
And Piper really did feel bad then, because she could understand that. Every day she woke up secretly hoping that it had all been a dream, hoping that her best friend wasn't broken to pieces. She wished more than anything that they didn't have to forcibly secure Leo to prevent him from hurting himself. But that just wasn't real.
"I know," she said softly. "But Leo's life is more important than what you want right now."
Guilt flashed across her boyfriend's face. "I know," he said miserably. "I'm so... ugh, I'm awful!"
"You're not awful," Piper said dismissively. "Just... a little naive. Now, let's get back to Leo because he's starting to look at us weird."
Piper felt Leo's scrutinizing gaze on her as she and Jason sat down again, neither of them making any move to remove the handcuffs keeping Leo in place.
"Sooooo that's a no then?"
Jason looked away, but Piper held Leo's gaze, refusing to back down. "That's a no," she confirmed.
Leo looked down, and there was no denying the sadness in his voice. "I guess I really am a freak, then."
"No you're not!" Jason responded hotly.
Piper shot him a look, trying to convey the message: Calm down.
"Leo, we don't think you're a freak," she said slowly. "You're not a freak. We just want you to be safe. And this is the best way to make sure that you are."
"What if I promise I won't do anything? Please Piper, I don't- I don't like this." Panic began to seep into his voice and flash through his eyes, and Piper felt almost guilty for denying him his request. For a split second, she even considered granting it. What harm could it do, really?
But no. Leo had made the situation very clear that morning. She hated being the one to hurt him, but surely it was better than risking him hurting himself.
"I'm sorry," she said softly. "I can't."
Leo's face changed in an instant.
Piper couldn't describe it. One second he was anxious and desperate, the next he seemed- well, she couldn't find a word for it. But it filled her with dread.
Leo chuckled darkly. "Gee, I thought Aphrodite's kids were supposed to airheads," he said sarcastically. "Couldn't you have fit your stereotype just this once, Pipes?"
He glanced over at Jason disdainfully. "And I was so close, too." He huffed in annoyance. "How obnoxious."
Piper stared at Leo, horrified. Had it all been an act? A trick to make them let down their guard?
And worse, had they almost fallen for it?
Jason looked like he was going to be sick. "Leo..." he managed.
"Why?" Piper said suddenly. "Why are you doing this?" she demanded.
"Whatever do you mean?" Leo asked innocently.
"You know what I mean! Why are you-" Piper's voice cracked. "Why are you still trying to get away from us after what you said?"
"Because I was wrong!" Leo snapped. Piper flinched reflexively, and Leo scowled and looked away. "I was wrong to say that I would do that, okay? I made a mistake, so now I'm trying to fix it."
"Choosing to live isn't a mistake, Leo. You're allowed to want to live," Piper said cautiously, trying to ignore the panic fluttering in her chest.
"Then why is it so loud?!" Leo yelled.
They fell silent.
Leo began slowly shaking his head, closing his eyes and lifting his hands to clench at his head painfully.
After a few seconds, a timid voice broke the silence.
"What do you mean?"
Jason sounded how Piper felt- confused, and maybe a little scared.
Leo's eyes squeezed shut even tighter. "It's- Ever since I said that I- ever since I said that it's been so loud and I can't get it to stop but maybe it's right anyway and if I could just get away then I could just do what it wants and make it stop it would finally stop-"
"Leo," Piper interrupted. "Listen to me."
Leo didn't open his eyes, but he did stop rambling and let out a shaky breath.
"Do you... hear someone talking to you?"
Leo's eyes snapped open. "I'm not crazy!"
"I believe you," Piper promised. "Having something like that doesn't automatically make you crazy. I just wish you would've told us earlier. We can try to help you with it."
Leo's shoulders slumped. "You have been helping," he muttered. "Ever since I started taking... well, you know. It... it got better. And being with you guys usually helps distract me. But..." He winced slightly. "Saying what I did made it so much worse. That's how I know I messed up."
"No you didn't-"
"Yes I did! You said it yourself, Piper! I ruined your dumb marshmallow just like I ruin everything! And yeah, you ended up liking it okay, but that doesn't change anything! I just-" His voice cracked a little. "I just hate myself so much."
Leo buried his face in his hands, shoulders shaking with silent sobs. Piper was absolutely reeling. She couldn't believe she had made such a careless comment earlier. Of course, she couldn't have known that Leo would latch onto it like that, but she should've. He was literally suicidal! It had been a stupid, reckless mistake.
She was speechless. How could she possibly fix this?
"Leo."
Piper jumped at Jason's voice. She had momentarily forgotten that he was there. Leo looked up, tear tracts staining his face.
"We love you so much." His voice cracked with emotion. "We think you're amazing. And it hurts so bad that you can't see that."
"That's right," Piper jumped in, grateful that Jason was there. "I- I didn't mean what I said. I didn't mean to imply that you ruin things. Because you don't. You make my life better just by being a part of it."
Leo shook his head slowly. "You don't mean that."
"Yes I do!"
"Stop. Please. I don't want to hear your pointless praise. It's not helping."
"I- okay," Piper conceded, defeated. If telling Leo that didn't help, then what would? She refused to believe that Leo was beyond saving, but she didn't know what she could actually do.
They fell into an uncomfortable silence. What was there left to say?
After a minute or two, Piper was once again surprised when her boyfriend spoke up.
"I know you don't want to be here right now, Leo," he began quietly. "I'm sure you'd rather be..." He winced slightly, switching tracks. "Well anyway, what I mean is, I know that there's probably nothing we can say or do to help you right now. It's going to take time. Just know that we'll be here for you the whole way. Even if you try to get rid of us, we'll stick with you anyway." He cracked a small smile that quickly died out in favor of a more serious look.
"No matter how long it takes."
Piper eyed Jason carefully, finding a renewed respect for him. She was the one who was supposed to be good with words, for the gods' sake. Yet where she had been at a loss, Jason had managed to summarize what mattered most in just a few words. She felt another flash of gratitude for his presence.
After a tense pause, Leo nodded.
Piper had a feeling that was all they were going to get from their friend.
And as it turned out, she was right.
Hey so um... Here's the thing. We've caught up to what I have written so far. Which kinda sucks bc I'm horrible at schedules and whatnot, esp since I'll be starting up school again pretty soon. So... from here on out there will be zero consistency with updates and I am so sorry in advance. Thank you so much for reading!