Nellie's POV
I was happy.
I was truly, absolutely, no doubt about it, happy.
For the first time in forever it seemed like everything was in it's place.
Ever since waking up to this new life I was always living the life that was forced upon me with a feeling of regret. My family way always there with me and I felt like a traitor for living with this new family like my own never existed. I always felt like a piece of me was lost and I'll never get it back. I still missed them. I missed my mum, I missed my dad and I missed my little sister but now, for the first time in almost two years, I felt at peace with myself. Eleanor Williams, the beloved prom queen Nellie and Eleanor Cullen, the newborn Nell, were one person. I wasn't torn anymore. I was happy.
Of course there were still many things I wanted to but now I didn't feel so terribly sad for not having them. I understood myself and I understood what it would be like for my family to see me like this. For the first time in forever the selfish desire to just go to them was forgotten and I was happy just knowing that they were fine. They were healing just as I was too.
The lawyer Jasper hired for my family was slowly building a case and was in search of the perpetrator. I was sure he'd get him and it would all come to an end. That chapter will be closed. I was calm about that too. What was done was done and a part of me forgave the person that did that to me. I wasn't going to let him kill me in my death too. I was stronger than that. I ould and could never let him get to me like that. He had no power over me.
Bella was slowly learning to live as a vampire too. Her incredible selfcontrol was already being comapred to my own and Rosalie's by Carlisle who was happy that all his children were well behaved. It got a few funny remarks out of Emmett too, but the big teddy bear was just happy that his family was thriving. And we were. All of us together bonded even more over Reneesme who was like a glure that held us all tighter together. She reminded me so much of my younger sister that I was sure the two of them would get along if they ever met.
Jake was over his crush. Almost losing his bestfriend was enough to wake him up and he was now the best nanny a kid could ever have. All of the pack members were. That was a first too. I was sure that this was what peace between vampires and shapeshifters was supposed to look like.
We lived together and we loved together. That was what mattered the most. Sam and Carlisle agreed on a new treaty which basically bonded to two parties as protectors of humans that live here. It was a beatiful thing to witness.
We were at peace.
Finally.
After having the bond return between Paul and me everything changed. My little sickness was still here and I had trouble controlling myself from time to time but the fact that Paul was there, as well as my family, helped me through it every time and I was confident I'd be able to live with it. I won't snap and I won't put anyone in danger. I could do it. I was sure of it.
And Paul. Paul was Paul but somehow different.
The both of us were.
We really learned so much from what had happened to us. It matured us and it shaped us into a couple that solved all problems through understanding and just loving each other.
We lived each day in our own unique way, making sure we never lose sight of what was truly important. We were still getting to know each other. We were still healing each other. But, we were there and truly loved each other nad because of that everything seemed solvable. Everything was easier. We were friends in love with each other and we took it slowly. We had a very long time to explore every bit of ourselves. We weren't in a hurry.
What worried me was the situation with Monica.
Ever since she found out about the whole imprinting fiasco I felt like I was losing her. She would come to visit us and she would do her best to blindside Edward. It was frustrating because I was scared that she will let herself go as she did before we met again but she was doing a great job. It was impossible for Edward to read her. She kept herself busy and just let her thoughts float around all at once. She was good at this. it both scared and impressed all of us. After Reneesme was born and Bella's change was complete it became too unsafe for her to visit. So we mostly kept in touch via messages and phone calls but even that became rare.
I tried to tell her that it needs to stop. She was in no way at fault for any of this but I also understood her because I knew it would haunt me too if I was her. It made me incredibly sad because my best friend, my sister, was killing herself over this mess and she refused to be helped. She was happy for me but she still felt like I was supposed to come back to them.
The whole situation was a mess so it was a huge surprise when she called me to announce that she's going to come for a visit again.
Bella made sure she was in control of herself and my whole family was there. Reneesme loved Monica even though she only knew about her through the stories Edward and Bella would tell her. I mean, who wouldn't? It was Mona, after all. She was perfect. My little niece was even more excited than I was to meet Monica so when Mona got out of her car Reneesme wanted us to hurry sos he could meet her.
And, of course, Monica was thrilled to meet the little princess. I told her all about Nessie and she was already mad about her. Nessie was as easy to love as Monica. Both of them just had that pull around them. You felt a need to love and cherish them when you were around them. My girls always managed to put a smile on my face.
''Hey.'' – Monica greeted us. There was something about her. I could see her thoughts running through her mind on her face. She was trying hard to keep us all out and it was working. Alice couldn't get anything from her either cause she used the Victoria tactic of constantly changing her mind and thinking about everything all at once without deciding anything.
''Hi.'' – I went to hug her but her body was stiff. The dark circles were back on her face. – ''Are you okay?'' – she just flashed me a smile coupled with a wink.
''You know me. Of course I am.'' – her phone vibrated which seemed to put her on edge but she never looked at it. – ''So, where's the better half?'' – she was talking about Paul and I had to roll my eyes.
''In front of you.'' – I told her and she started looking anywhere but at me.
''Where? Can't see.'' – so childish. Exactly why I loved her. – No, but seriously. I thought they might be here. You know, their daily walk and all that.''
''He'll come later.'' – I told her knowing that while she wanted to see Paul she was asking for Embry as well. She really liked him.
At first I thought it was because she thought she was supposed to like him combined with the fact that Embry really was a great guy plus his looks were out of this world but the more I talked to her about it before this mess the more it seemed like she was really sure that the young wolf warrior was it for her. It was a real disappointment to her when she found out the truth because, even though she understood why they did it and thought it was really nice of them to protect her like that, it meant that her theory of true love being in a person's eyes was a fail. It meant that everything she believed about love was wrong. First blow was Dylan cheating that night, second blow was the fact that the one guy that seemed to really like her and understand her turned out to be a psycho killer and now this. It changed her.
''Cool. Cool. It's been a while, you know. I had some things to take care of too.'' – she said as she played with Nessie.
''Everything good? Whatever you had to take care of must have taken a toll on you because you seem like you're having trouble sleeping.'' – I told her honestly. I had to use the fact that she was relaxed around Nessie to try and get what was troubling her out.
''Fucking super.'' – she said before clasping her hand on her mouth. – ''Fuck. Sorry kid.'' – Nessie chuckled. – ''Moving on.'' – she dragged the moving part. – ''Anyway. Yeah. I don't know. I guess it's going fine but I'm not sure whether I want it to or not.'' – I was confused.
''I'm honestly scared to ask what you're up to. I told you…if you're still trying to find him. Don't. Jenks is on it and the police and all of them… please, don't.'' – Monica ignored what I said as she went to retrieve a toy that Nessie threw a bit too far away.
''Don't worry about it. You just worry about this little baby and Paul and it'll be fine.'' – Monica tried to sound relaxed but I got her. She was doing something she wasn't supposed to. But what?
''Seriously, Monica. You have to take care of yourself. Don't do this. When I see you like this it's like a bad dream, honestly.''
''It is a bad dream, Nell. It's a fucking nightmare but here we are. I told you, I'm fine. It's just been a couple of rough days, I'm allowed to have those too, right? I have my own life to worry about as well.'' – ouch. Maybe I was a bit too self-centered but the thought of Monica going alone after the killer made me sick with fear. The idea of her being hurt was driving me crazy especially since neither Edward nor Alice knew what was going on with her.
''If there's anything I can do. Please. You can talk to me.'' – she looked at me with a genuine smile. It was a relief.
''I know, Nellie. I know. And I will, but I need you to understand me as well. I'll tell you everything when the time is right. For now. Can we just enjoy today? Please?'' – of course we could enjoy today. That was the only thing I wanted.
''Hi Monica.'' – Monica whistled when Bella came into view which got her a chuckle out of both Bella and Edward who came to get Nessie for her second nap of the day. She had to have her measures taken by Carlisle as well. We were worried but somehow I had a feeling that everything will be fine with Nessie. She was a tough cookie.
''Looking good, Bella. I'm thinking of a makeover myself here. Not fair.'' – we all laughed at that.
Bella and Edward took Nessie then and we were left alone.
Monica took my hand and rested her head on my shoulder. She always did that when she needed comfort but didn't want to speak about what was bothering her. She did that when her mum died and she did that when her dad got remarried and she did that when she was scared that her new brother doesn't like her. It's been so long since I had her so close and this time it was because of me that she needed comfort in the first place. I prayed that Jenks and the detectives working on my case find a clue that helpes them break the case so that this nightmare, as Monica called it, comes to an end.
I could hear Paul and Embry laugh about something with Jake as they walked through the woods. Their patrol was over and they were coming over. Seth got them into Edward's cooking skill and so now Emily could finally catch a break to plan her wedding without having to worry what the boys were going to eat.
I looked at Monica but she was still having that thousand yard stare on her face. She didn't flinch even when they got so close that she could definitely hear them. Who did flinch was Embry.
The guy didn't see her since the day she found out their whole relationship was based on a lie to get her protected and now he looked torn between going off on her for not answering and just being happy that she was here. What stopped him from doing either of those things was her sudden smile as she lifted her head to look at them.
''Nell said you were coming but I thought you just changed your mind. I've been here for a while. It's not fucking nice to leave a lady hanging like that, Lahote. That's a minus point.'' – she told them. A dazzling smile was still on her face.
''Good thing you're not a lady so I don't care Mona.'' – Paul told her as he leaned in to plant a small kiss on my lips.
I was still getting used to that. Everytime he'd kiss me or hug me I felt like I was about to fly. I loved it and it was making my heart hurt as it tried to beat faster. It was a good hurt though. It reminded me to fight it to keep myself alive. I was the only person on this planet that had to get her heart to stop beating to stay alive.
''Ugh. Ew.'' – Monica pushed him a little as Paul laughed at her. – ''Hey, Call.'' – Monica waved at Embry who was standing quietly. He didn't want to push her even though he wanted to. Monica seemed to notice it so she hurried to make sure he understood she was okay with him now. – ''Sorry about not answering to you. I was pissed off. Seriously. It's cool now. Thanks for protecting me or whatever. Don't apprecieate the lying, though.''
''I'm sorry too.'' – Embry told her. He allowed himself a shy smile as he let out a breath he was holding.
The way he was looking at her. It was as if he was caressing her with his look alone. It was the sort of intimate gaze where you feel bad for intruding when you look at them. Monica was aware of it as she tried not to respond but she couldn't. she returned the same kind of gaze to him and when they meti t was as if a wall was raised betwen them and the rest of us. Paul ruffled my hair as he hugged me to get me to look away but I was glued to them. It wasn't imprinting. I knew the difference, but those two little stubborn kids truly liked each other. They wanted to be together but they weren't saying anything out of fear that the other person won't want anything. The couple of idiots reminded me of Paul and mmyself.
Our first conversation after the bond came back was just us making the other believe that we truly love each other. I was rambling about how I'm not good for him and he thought the same and it took us a couple of hours and an angry kiss from Paul to stop the madness and for us to accept that this is it. No point in finding excuses. With love you couldn't find any so looking at them doing that exact same thing now made me roll my eyes. But Paul squeezed my hand. It was something only the two of them could work out. Just like we did.
''I'm sorry.'' – Embry finally said again. His voice was different this time. There were more words there behind it and Monica understood them all.
''Don't. I want to enjoy this day. I want to enjoy it.'' – the way she said those words made something turn inside me. Monica took Embry's hand and the two of them went for a walk towards the woods. There was a great unknown in front of them. Paul hugged me tighter.
''Let's go.'' – Paul told me as he got up. A part of me wanted to stay there and keep an eye on Monica but Paul knew better than to let me do that. Whatever Monica needed, Embry was willing to give and we weren't the ones supposed to see any of it.
''What a wingman I got myself.'' – I teased him when we got far enough and he smirked at me.
''I'm a great friend. What can I say?'' – I laughed at that. He truly was a great friend and lately it was more and more evident and his brothers were starting to openly show how much he meant to them. I could see him smile with pride whenever someone would say something nice about him. He was happy and I was too.
But…as it goes in life, something always has to happen.
That night when everyone left and my family was alone Alice had a vision.
It happened just as we were greeting Bella and Edward before they went to their own little house. Alice was going on and on about Bella having to wear the clothes she got her when she blanked. Jasper was there for her in a split second. It didn't last very long and when it was over Alice looked at me with a panicked look in her eyes.
''Monica decided.'' – she said slowly. What? What did she decide?
''Oh.'' – Edward seemed shocked.
''What is going on?!'' – I sad at the same time as Rose.
''I can't see her decision but as soon as it fell into place Monica disappeared. Whatever her decision is…it's going to be the death of her.''
Oh no.
No. No. No. No…