Obi-Wan opened his eyes with a groan.

How many days has it been, now?

He wasn't sure he truly wanted to know the answer to that.

The clean, white walls of the medbay met his gaze wherever he looked.

"I've always hated the medbay…" he muttered aloud to no one in particular.

As if anyone were actually there, anyway. Kilian had stopped talking to him ages ago, but he was growing tired of keeping his thoughts trapped in his tortured mind.

"Master?"

Anakin's voice startled him so bad, he nearly fell off the bed.

"Shh, Master, I'm here."

But that was impossible. He was alone, in the desert, strapped to a travois that carried his worst enemy by far.

How was Anakin…?

Only, Obi-Wan didn't feel any heat on his skin, nor any sand beneath his feet. One quick glance at his arms confirmed his theory that someone had given him a fresh change of clothes.

"Anakin…?"

"I'm here, Master." Anakin inched forward on his chair, twining his fingers around Obi-Wan's. "I'm here. How do you feel?"

Like I've just been chewed up by an angry gundark.

"How long have I been asleep?"

"Only about five hours. We actually didn't expect you to wake up for a good day or so."

"Where's Kilian?"

Anakin looked as confused as Obi-Wan felt. "Who?"

"Kilian…" he rubbed his throbbing temple. "I… can't remember his first name right now. Blast! Why can't I remember his name?"

"Whoa, Obi-Wan, calm down. It's okay!"

"No, no it's not ok—" A bolt of pain shot through his head and he couldn't stifle the gasp in time.

"Do I need to call Kix back in here?" Obi-Wan could feel Anakin's agitation bleeding off him into the Force as he started to rise. "That's it, I'm calling Kix."

"No!" Obi-Wan said a little too quickly. "No. I'm fine. I'll be fine."

"Master, you're not fine, you're injured and in pain, and I'm only trying to help you. Now, how are you feeling?"

"I'll be fine, I just need—"

"You're avoiding my question."

"If I can only get some rest, I'll—"

"Obi-Wan!"

Anakin's sudden shout made him flinch.

And he hated himself for it.

An uncomfortable silence settled upon the small medical chamber. Obi-Wan couldn't bring himself to look Anakin in the eyes. He was too afraid of what he'd see.

The worry.

The fear.

The pity.

And he couldn't handle the pity.

Not from Anakin.

When his former Padawan finally spoke again, his voice was soft, almost cautious, "Obi-Wan?"

"What happened to me, Anakin?" He whispered. "I don't remember… How did you find me? How did I get here?"

Anakin cleared his throat, obviously emotional. "We, uh, we found you wandering the deserts of Jakku. You had this sled thing strapped to your back. On it was a man."

Obi-Wan visibly stiffened.

Kilian.

"What… Where is he now?"

"Obi-Wan…" Anakin was hesitating. Why was he hesitating? "He was dead when we found you. Looked like he had been for a while."

Dead?

Guilt washed over him, and not because he hadn't succeeded in keeping Kilian alive.

But because he was glad the man was dead.

No, no, no!

There is no emotion, there is pea—

"He won…"

"What? No, Obi-Wan, this isn't a game," Anakin calmed, shaking his head. "There's nothing to be won here. It's just life, and sometimes… well, sometimes people die—"

"It's never been anything but a game!" Obi-Wan snapped, the leftover tendrils of hysteria twisting around his heart and mind. "That's all life is! One big game that you either win or you lose, and I'm done losing, Anakin! Do you hear? I'm done!"

"Obi-Wan, calm down! It's gonna be okay." There was that irritating expression of worry again. "I'm calling Kix—"

"No! It's fine, I'm fine!"

"You're not fine, Obi-Wan!" Anakin growled. "None of this is fine! I found you in the desert looking like someone had tortured you every kriffing day since we left Coruscant! So don't you dare tell me you're fine, because you're not! No one is!"

Obi-Wan clamped his mouth shut, finding nothing more to say.

But Anakin wasn't finished. "And right now, I'm calling Kix so he can check you out and make sure you're not going to pass out or die right in front of me. You may think you're 'fine,' Obi-Wan, but guess what? I'm not! Okay? I'm not fine!"

Without another word, Anakin stormed out of the room, leaving Obi-Wan to his own tormented thoughts.

I thought you said this wasn't a game you could win or lose? That foreign voice whispered. That all you had to do was survive?

He felt like he didn't know anything anymore.

Everything seemed mixed up and wrong.

And he was just too tired to try and fix it.

Anakin was on Kix the moment the clone medic came through the door. "Well?"

Patience, Master, patience, Ahsoka thought as she observed the agitated Jedi Knight. After all, someone had to be Obi-Wan when he wasn't there.

"I gave him a sedative," Kix replied. "Hopefully it'll keep him from waking himself up again. His vitals are slowly returning to normal, and I set him up with an IV to get more fluids circulating through his body. What he needs most, though, is rest, and sleep is the best way to get rid of those awful circles under his eyes. So I don't want either of you going in there and waking him up, got it?"

"Wouldn't dream of it," Anakin replied.

Ahsoka rolled her eyes. Sure. As if you weren't just thinking about doing that very thing.

"Good. The bacta patches we applied earlier are still working their magic, but some of those gashes will take longer to heal than others."

Out of the corner of her eyes, she noticed Anakin's fist tightening.

It's gonna be okay, Skyguy…

"Thank you, Kix," she said aloud. "Would it be alright if I went in and sat with him for a while?"

"As long as you don't wake him," Kix responded rather sternly, but she didn't take it to heart.

He's just as concerned as we are.

She had only taken a few steps when she realized Anakin wasn't following her. He was just standing there.

Just standing…

"Are you coming, Master?"

A dark shadow clouded his face. "You go ahead. I'll be in later."

"Okay…?"

His smile was forced, she knew it instantly. "Don't worry about me, Snips. I'll be back soon."

"Where are you going?"

What could possibly be more important than being with Master Obi-Wan?

"There's just… something I have to take care of. It won't take long."

He was retreating down the hall before she could say anything else, moving at a quick, clipped pace.

One that clearly stated he wanted to be anywhere but there.

Anywhere but here…

Ahsoka recalled earlier when Anakin had stormed out of Obi-Wan's medical chamber in a flurry of unchecked emotion.

What happened in there?

What did you do, Skyguy? What did you do…?