Some Assembly Required

'Well, that's the last of the boxes,' said Amy as she put down the box in their new living room. This was Jake and Amy's moving day. With a new baby due in nearly three months, they knew their apartment would just be a bit too congested. So, they had bought this house.

'Yeah, that's one job done,' said Charles as he too put a box on the floor. Holt, Terry, Rosa and Charles had made up the time to help out Jake and Amy.

'So, we opening and assembling now?' asked Rosa, tired of carrying the boxes.

'No, not yet,' replied Amy, 'Karen has some of the blankets and toys Jake had as a kid and she wants to hand them over to us. We're gonna need some extra hands to help us.'

'Ugh, more boxes?' Rosa groaned.

'Shut up, Rosa!' Charles shouted. 'This is for baby Peraltiago so you better be dedicated to all of this,' he said as Rosa groaned and rolled her eyes.

'Captain, Lieutenant,' Amy said as she turned to Holt and Terry, 'could you please stay back and assemble the crib?'

'Oh, I see,' said Terry.

'See what?'

'You think Jeffords and I are too old and cannot carry boxes. I would expect this judgment to come from Peralta but you, Santiago? I pray for this baby,' Holt said as he turned away.

'Oh, my God! You sons of bitches!' Amy screamed, making the entire room stare at her. She just realized what she said. She laughed awkwardly. 'Sorry, hormones,' she explained. 'Just to stay clear of Jake and Charles injuring themselves, Rosa killing the person working with her, and me breaking the crib even before it's assembled, we think it would be best for you two to work on the crib,' she elaborated.

'Oh, that's not a problem,' said Terry, 'I just hope you've got the tools.'

'Yes, they're in the car,' said Amy. After giving the two seniors the toolbox, Jake, Amy, Charles, and Rosa drove to Karen and Roger.

'Sir,' said Terry as he opened took out the components of the crib, 'I know you've probably not assembled a crib before but don't worry because I've assembled a 100X90 crib before.'

'Wow,' said Holt as he examined the parts, 'that is a big crib, Jeffords.'

'Yeah, Terry makes big babies,' he reminded, 'This should be child's play.'

'I agree.'

'What? I appreciate your optimism, sir, but I don't see how you can say this is easy.'

'Well, I took a year on carpentry. So, I know my way around some woodwork. Even though, the woodwork on this is so-so.'

'Alright, sir. Let's begin.'

Five Minutes Later:

Holt and Terry were on the floor, the tools sprawled across the floor and the different parts scattered around. Holt and Terry looked frustrated.

'How is this so difficult?' asked Terry.

'Relax, Jeffords,' Holt said, 'Rome was not built in a day. We just need to buckle down and find inspiration.'

'Or we could just follow the guide?' Terry said as he picked up the small guide.

'Oh, thank God!' Holt said as he snatched it and went through it rapidly.

Twenty Minutes Later:

'We did it!' Jeffords exclaimed.

'Yes, that was quite enthralling,' Holt agreed.

'Now we just need to get it in the nursery,' Terry said as we went to lift it. But as soon as he touched it, the crib crumbled. 'What the hell? We followed the instructions,' Terry said as he looked towards his captain.

Holt was dumbfounded too. He looked around and saw a screw by his foot. 'We may have missed this,' Holt said as he showed Terry the screw.

Thirty Minutes Later:

'Hand me the pin, you pinhead!' Holt screamed.

'It's a screw, not a pin. I keep telling you that!' Terry shouted back.

'Oh, screw you! Just hand it over!' Holt demanded. Once he got the screw, he started hammering it in.

'What are you doing? It's a screw! You SCREW it in!' Terry shouted again.

'Just let me work on it, you good for nothing lieutenant!' As Holt hammered it further in, as it was bound to happen, the crib definitely broke. The two men shared a look of worry.

One Hour Later:

'Hey! We're back!' Jake shouted as the four people entered. Holt and Terry rushed to the door.

'Hey, Jake!' Terry greeted him a bit too loudly, 'How was the trip to your parents'?'

'Uh… It was alright,' he answered, 'We got some stuff for the baby.'

'Yeah, these boxes are heavy,' mumbled Rosa, 'but we did get some pictures of Jake in his teenage years.'

'So, you guys done with the crib?' Jake asked.

'Teenage years!' shouted Holt, 'What a fascinating transition from child to adult. Let us discuss about that, shall we?'

'What? Just show us how far along you two got with the crib.'

'"Far along"?' asked Terry as though he were insulted, 'You thought that we wouldn't get the crib ready by the time you came just cause we're the oldest ones here? For shame, Jake. For shame!'

Amy sighed. 'Look,' she said, 'Jake didn't mean that.'

'Oh, it's cool.'

'Then just show us the damn crib before I throw these boxes at you two!' Holt and Terry reconsidered their plans. When Amy was riled up, she scared everyone.

As the six of them walked to the nursery, Holt and Terry turned around right at the door. 'Why don't you just leave your boxes here?' Terry suggested.

'Why?' asked Charles.

'Because the room is full of tools and is messy. You might trip,' explained Holt.

'Ugh! Can we just go in or not?' Amy complained. Holt and Terry knew that if they extended this conversation further, she would probably break their fingers. As Terry reached for the knob, he look to Holt, who nodded at him for encouragement. The six of them entered the nursery.

'Wow,' said Jake, 'You guys did it.' Right in the middle of the nursery was a fully assembled crib, with all its parts attached and strong. Jake was smiling but Amy was maintaining a stoic expression. 'Ames,' Jake said looking at his emotionless wife, 'aren't you happy that they made the crib?'

'No, Jake,' Amy said, 'they didn't make the crib, they made a crib.'

'What?' said Jake but as he looked at the crib, he finally realized that it wasn't the one he and Amy had bought a week ago. 'You guys, what happened to the crib we bought?' he asked his captain and his lieutenant.

Holt and Terry looked at each other before the latter spoke, 'Look, we tried our best, we really did. But it was too damn difficult. We're sorry, man!'

'What? So, you exchanged it and bought a new one?'

'No,' said Holt, 'that was our plan but I had pretty much demolished it. The store would not take it back.'

'What?' Jake and Amy asked together.

'Look, we're sorry,' Terry continued, 'You gave us one task and we couldn't do it. So, we bought you this crib, mainly to say we're sorry but also to complete our task.'

As soon as Terry was done speaking, Amy hugged the two men. They were both surprised – Terry because he was preparing for Amy to scathe them both and Holt because, well, he never did care for hugs. As Amy let go, Holt asked her, 'Santiago, are you not mad at us?'

'No,' replied Amy, 'Captain, one of the first things you taught me when you first got transferred to the Nine-Nine was that when one of your fellow officers needs help, you help them, no matter what the cost. Today, the lieutenant and you have done exactly that.' Amy hugged them again. 'Although there is one thing left to do,' she said as they parted.

'What's that?' asked Terry.

Amy went to Rosa. 'Rosa,' she asked, 'may I have your knife for a moment?' Rosa didn't say a word as she drew a knife from inside her jacket. 'Thanks,' said Amy as she walked to the crib. She bent knelled down on one side of the crib and began to carve into the wood. 'There,' she said after she was done, 'that's for the baby.'

As she stood up, the other five went to look at what she had carved. 'To Baby Peralta-Santiago,' they read, 'From Grandpa Raymond Holt and Uncle Terry Jeffords.'