Chapter 20 – Glimmer of Hope

Luke wasn't able to sleep. Lying on his back with a hand rested behind his head, he stared blankly at the ceiling. To his left, Leia was snoring on the opposite couch. Glancing over at her, he smirked when he saw her mouth hanging open. He'd never before seen the princess look so unrefined.

His amusement faded when his eyes gravitated up to the bruise on her forehead. It was healing well, but the black and purple blotch above her left eye was still quite prominent. He couldn't understand why Leia had been so willing to forgive Vader after he had nearly killed her. A part of him wondered if she didn't understand it either.

He and Leia had spent the entire afternoon in each other's company. Luke had been thrilled to finally have someone else to talk with, but his enthusiasm had been short-lived when Leia told him about what had happened between her and Han after Hoth.

"You can't let him treat you like that, Leia," he had said, flushed red with indignation when she told him how forward Han had been with her.

"I don't know, Luke. I think part of him really does love me, but he just doesn't know how to tell me."

"That doesn't excuse his behavior," Luke had insisted. "And then you say he blamed you? For what exactly?"

Leia had sighed. "He was jealous that I wanted to go to Imperial Center to save you."

Finding himself getting worked up again, Luke pushed off his blanket and stood up from the couch. He ran his hands through his unruly hair as he walked away toward the windows. He oftentimes found himself staring out these windows late at night, absently appreciating the warm light from the moon and surrounding metropolis as he contemplated his burgeoning frustrations.

It hurt to hear how little Han valued their friendship. He had thought that he and the smuggler were on good terms, but recently Han had shown his true colors. He seemed to view Luke as competition rather than as an actual friend. Han had saved his life on Hoth, yes, but now he figured that the only reason he had gone to such lengths was to impress Leia. Afterward, he had been so smug about it, using his heroism in the most crass way possible.

"Well, Your Worship, it looks like you managed to keep me around a little while longer."

"I had nothing to do with it. General Rieekan thinks it's dangerous for any ships to leave the system until we've activated the energy field."

"That's a good story. I think you just can't bear to let a gorgeous guy like me out of your sight."

Even then, Luke had considered Han's behavior to be unpleasant. Now, however, he found it to be absolutely appalling. How dare he treat his sister like that! The man was acting like Leia was obligated to fall in love with him because he had saved both her and Luke's lives. That's what you get with a smuggler: Everything is an exchange for them.

The whole thing made Luke question himself. He knew that Han had his flaws, but deep down he had always thought him to be a good person. Luke had sensed it, in a way. Yet time and time again, Han was proving him wrong for believing in him. Could he no longer trust his intuition anymore? For all his life, it had served him well. But now…

This wasn't about Han. Not really, at least. This was about Vader. When he had learned the truth on Bespin, Luke had found himself captivated by his father's face. When he had looked into those eyes which were so much like his own, he had sensed something, even if he hadn't been willing to acknowledge at the time. He had sensed…

Good.

The man before him was capable of it, he knew it. Yet how could Luke believe that now? His mother had told him that Vader couldn't be redeemed for what he had done. Who was he to disagree with her? She knew Vader far better than he did.

Leia wouldn't accept this, however. She needed to know specifics. To an extent, Luke did as well. Without knowing exactly what Vader had done, he was never going to surrender his glimmer of hope that his father could somehow be redeemed.

At this thought, Luke suddenly felt a shiver run up his spine. He froze, eyes widening as the odious sensation percolated throughout his body. The silver moonlight suddenly shifted hue, and Luke found himself bathed in crimson red. He looked up to see that the moon in the sky was ablaze with fire and the previously empty night sky was now churning with noxious clouds of gas.

Stop! Stop now!

Broken out of his paralysis, Luke spun away from the hellish scene. "Mom?" he asked.

Come back! I love you!

Luke took off running toward his mother's bedroom, the blood pounding in his ears and heart hammering in his chest.

Liar!

He tore the door open to see Padmé thrashing in the sheets. Her eyes were shut tight and her face was coated in a sheen of sweat.

"Mom!"

You're with him! You brought him here to kill me!

Luke felt panicked as he stood over her. He didn't know what to do! Her spasms were growing more and more violent and she was making a strangled sound in the back of her throat.

No!

"Mom? Mom, can you hear me?"

Her eyes flew open, yet she didn't seem to be awake. She blindly clawed at the air with her hands before grabbing onto his arm.

The moment she touched him, his surroundings seemed to disappear. Suddenly, he found himself face to face with a furious young man. Before Luke could even wonder what was going on, he felt his throat constrict when the man extended a gloved hand to him.

His eyes bulged out of their sockets as he reached for his throat. He was unable to breathe! Tears clouded his vision and an oppressive heat bombarded him in waves.

Let her go, Anakin.

Luke felt himself struggling to move his lips. "Anakin!" he managed to plead, yet relief did not come. He was going to kill him…

Let. Her. Go.

His vision went black and Luke found himself falling. He tumbled downward until suddenly he jolted awake. Disoriented, he staggered backward as his legs wobbled precariously.

"Luke?"

He blinked once and realized he was back in his mother's bedroom. She had broken out of her catatonic state and was seated upright in the bed. Her eyes were wide and her face blanched with fear as she looked up at him.

"Mom," he croaked.

She let out a sob and wrapped her arms around his torso. Luke let out a shaky breath, his whole body trembling as his terror began to abate. He cradled his mother's head and stroked her hair while she wept against his sternum.

"It's okay, you're okay," he whispered.

But it wasn't okay. The glimmer of hope was gone.

Leia woke up with a colossal yawn. Sitting upright, she stretched her arms and arched her back. Only then did she register the shadow in which she was ensconced. Startled, she looked up to see Vader looming over her. A hint of humor was dancing in his eyes as he peered down at her.

"Took you long enough," he said.

Leia flushed red as she pulled her blanket up. "Were you watching me sleep?" she asked. Vader didn't answer, yet his smirk confirmed her suspicion. She wasn't sure whether she felt uncomfortable with that or not.

Vader took a step away and sat down on the opposite couch. "How's your head?" he asked her.

Leia raised a hand to her forehead. The wound was still tender to the touch, but no longer was she suffering from the headache. "Better," she said as she pushed the blanket aside and tucked her legs underneath her. "Where's Luke?" she asked.

"No idea," Vader said a bit sharply.

Leia pursed her lips and looked away. She could tell that Vader was frustrated with his son. She and him had talked a great deal the night before while Luke and Padmé had been asleep. Vader had told her all about what had happened after Bespin. She got the sense that Vader felt as if things had been going well between them until Padmé entered the fray and snagged Luke away from him. Whether or not that was a fair assessment, Leia was yet to have an opinion, yet she could certainly appreciate Vader's view. Luke had been downright vitriolic toward the man when Leia had expressed her intents to cooperate with him yesterday morning.

"Are we going to the Senate today?" Leia asked after a few moments of silence. Vader didn't seem to register the question as he seemed deep in thought with something. Leia opened her mouth to prompt him when she stopped herself. She realized that she didn't know what to call him. Lord Vader? Father? Neither sounded right.

Fortunately, she didn't have to say anything because Vader returned to reality with a shake of his head. "I don't want to rush things," he said. "If you're not feeling well –"

"I feel fine," Leia insisted. While this wasn't strictly true, she was eager to get out of the apartment and do something worthwhile.

"Are you sure?" Vader asked.

"Absolutely," Leia said at once. She nodded her head vigorously, yet the accompanying wave of nausea contradicted her assurance.

Vader seemed to be unconvinced. "We'll see," he said. "How about you get some breakfast first?"

Leia found herself marveling at his considerate behavior. How could Luke say that Vader was trying to use her when he was actively trying to prevent her from going to the Senate on his behalf? Vader genuinely cared for her wellbeing, as bizarre as that may sound. She tried to resist the impulse, but time and time again she found herself comparing Vader to her other father, Bail Organa. They were such different men, yet nevertheless their treatment of her was similar in so many ways.

"Um… yeah," Leia stammered after she realized Vader was waiting for an answer. "That… sounds like a plan." She cringed at herself, yet Vader didn't seem to notice her awkwardness. He stood up and glanced over toward the hallway leading to the bedroom. Leia followed his gaze to see a shadow emerging from around the corner.

"Good morning, Luke."

When he entered the living room, her brother stiffened at this greeting. Luke's eyes darted to her before returning his gaze to Vader. "Morning," he said.

Vader seemed to be surprised by his frigid demeanor. He blinked a few times, brow furrowed as he contemplated Luke's defensive posture. "Where is your mother?" he asked.

Luke flared his nostrils at this question. "In the shower," he answered brusquely.

"Oh," Vader said. "I, um… I guess I'll just wait for her here."

Neither man made a move as they continued to stare at one another. Unable to bear the tension, Leia cleared her throat and took a step forward. "I was going to get some breakfast," she said. "Luke, have you eaten yet?" Luke shook his head yet kept his eyes on Vader. "Okay," Leia said. She was grimacing, the awkwardness causing her physical pain. "I can, uh… I can make you something if you want."

Finally, Luke turned away from Vader. "That's alright," he said before storming off toward the kitchen.

She and Vader both watched him leave with quizzical expressions. "What was that about?" she asked once he was gone.

Vader shook his head and didn't respond. Sighing loudly, he ran a hand through his hair before collapsing down onto the couch.

"I'll go talk to him," Leia said. "Maybe he just… I don't know. Maybe he just needs something to eat."

Eager to escape the depressive pall surrounding Vader, Leia spun around and hurried toward the kitchen without waiting for a response. There she found Luke fiddling with the food replicator.

"I didn't know you drank caf," she said when she saw what he was preparing.

"I don't," he said gruffly.

Leia gulped when she came to a stop by the island. Luke's back was faced to her, yet she could see his face through the reflection on the glass window of the replicator; His jaw was clenched and his eyes were narrowed with a bitter anger. She didn't think she had ever seen Luke look like this. What could have possible happened to make him so upset?

"So, uh… why are you making it?" she asked tentatively.

"It's for Mom," he told her. Once the caf had stopped dripping, Luke opened the door and picked up the mug. He turned around and set it down on the island. "What?" he snapped when he saw her expression.

"Nothing," she said quickly.

Luke considered her for a few moments with a frown. "Are you going with him today?" he asked, nodding toward the living room.

Leia hesitated. She knew the answer wouldn't be taken well. "I don't have to if you don't want," she mumbled.

"Oh no, don't let me stop you," Luke said. "Go right ahead if you want." With that, he picked up the mug and made to leave.

"Luke, wait," she said as he passed. She didn't know what she wanted to say, however.

He stopped in the doorway and looked back at her. "Don't trust him, Leia," he said in a whisper. "Whatever you do, don't trust him."

Leia had no idea what to say to this. Interpreting her silence as dismissal of his advice, Luke grumbled in disappointment before departing with the mug of caf. She stood there for a long while, hands on her hips as she stared blankly at the empty doorway. She no longer felt particularly hungry. Electing to forego breakfast, she left the kitchen and headed back toward the living room.

"That was quick."

Vader had left the couch and was now standing in front of the windows. He must have sensed her presence since there was no way he could have seen her return from that vantage point.

"I had a ration bar," Leia lied as she walked over toward him and came to a stop by his side. She knew Vader would object to her not having anything to eat – after all, that's what Bail would have done.

"Of all the options, you go with a ration bar?" Vader asked, wrinkling his nose as he glanced down at her.

Leia shrugged. "I'm used to them," she said.

Vader smiled and Leia found herself blushing at the affection in his eyes.

"Do you still want to come with me?"

Leia blinked a few times as she processed this question. "Do I…? Oh, yeah! Absolutely."

"Great," Vader said. He seemed to be relieved that there was someone in this apartment who didn't seem to hate him. "Why don't you get dressed? I'll be waiting outside."

"Okay!" she said, beaming with excitement. What had gotten into her? She was acting like such a girl! All she could think about was when she had gone to the Senate for the first time with her father when she was nine years old. Now she was doing the same thing twelve years later with her other father.

Her smile turned melancholy as she spun around and walked away toward the bedroom to find something to wear. She had been so quick to equate Bail with Vader in her mind. How could she have done that? Was the latter at least not partially responsible for the former's death? Yet she couldn't think about that when she looked at Vader. When she saw him, she didn't see enemy of the Rebellion who was responsible for so much pain and suffering. Instead, she saw him as Ahsoka did: as Anakin Skywalker.

Was she being a hypocrite? Why was she so willing to differentiate Anakin from Vader yet not Padmé from Fett? Perhaps it had simply been because Leia had had such higher expectations for Padmé than for Vader. She had been disheartened therefore to learn that the great Senator Amidala had sunken so low. The champion of liberty whom she had idolized so fervently had become a duplicitous bounty hunter with no sense of morality whatsoever.

"Is the caf alright? I didn't really know –"

"It's fine, Luke. Thank you."

Leia stopped outside the door to the bedroom when she heard voices. As she debated announcing her presence, Luke spoke again.

"Why didn't you tell me?"

Leia inched closer to the door and strained her ears to hear Padmé's response.

"It's not something I like talking about," she said.

A long silence ensued and Leia feared that her presence might have been detected.

"You need to tell her," Luke said finally.

"No."

"Why not?"

"She won't believe me anyway. She thinks I'm a liar."

Leia caught her breath. They were talking about her!

"Not if you tell her the truth," Luke insisted. When Padmé sighed in response, he continued his campaign. "I'll tell her if you don't want to."

"What good would that do?"

"What good? Mom, she has to know!"

Leia was unable to remain hidden in good conscience. Knocking on the door, she cut off Padmé's response. A tense silence was eventually interrupted by approaching footsteps, and finally the door opened to reveal Luke.

"Leia," he said, clearly surprised to see her. "What are you doing here?"

Leia winced at the phrasing of this question. It was as if she had infracted on his territory. "I just needed some clothes," she said. "Is this a bad time, or –"

"No, it's fine," Luke said and he stepped aside. "Come on in."

Leia wringed her wrists as she stepped into the bedroom. Glancing to her left, she saw Padmé standing in front of the windows with the mug of caf held in both hands. Meeting her gaze, Padmé raised her chin and gave her a suspicious look.

"Luke tells me you're going to the Senate with Vader," she said.

"I am."

Padmé narrowed her eyes before setting the mug down on a wooden credenza next to her. "Will you negotiate on his behalf?" she asked.

Leia refused to be deterred by the judgement in her tone. "I will do what I must to bring about a ceasefire," she said with dignity.

Padmé considered this response for a few moments before nodding. "Very well," she said. "You might as well look the part." Leia registered a hint of awkwardness on Padmé's behalf as she glanced over at Luke. No doubt she felt more comfortable speaking with him than with her. "Follow me," she said finally. "We'll find you something suitable."

Neither Luke nor Leia moved as their mother walked past them across the room and toward the walk-in closet. Exhaling, she looked over at her brother who was giving her a probing look. Did he know that she had overheard their conversation?

"What?" she asked him.

Luke continued to stare at her unblinkingly for several moments longer. Finally, he shook his head and made to leave. "Go on," he said coldly. "She's waiting for you." He stepped out into the hallway and walked away, leaving a troubled Leia in his wake.