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Wally: Have we tried putting 2020 in rice yet?
Wally: the best barber can never receive the best haircut
Dick: Dude… ew
Wally: I don't wanna adult today
I don't wanna to human today either
I wanna goat, I want to eat all day and head but anyone who gets to close
Dick: Same
Dick: That awkward moment between birth and death
Wally: Dick what?
Dick: I found a book explaining how we use the silent treatment in a street fight
And let me just say
I will live forever by each word written in that book
Wally: Please let me borrow is some day so that I can also live by it's word
Wally: Just saw a sign that said 'buckle up teens it's totes yeet yo.'
Dick: Call help I think I'm having a stroke
Wally: Is it wrong to get a slight power trip when you answer Dora the Explorer incorrectly
Dick: No
She needs to learn her place
Dick: I personally, would love to calm down, and yet
Wally: Is it more goth to wear a black bandage or to leave the wound exposed
Dick: What's happening?
Self Discovery
Why are you asking me these things
Dick: This quarantine has been like a reverse purge
Dick: The average person spends about two weeks of their life kissing
Wally: Dude could you imagine someone kissing another person for two weeks straight?
Dick: That would be a lot of kissing
Dick: Nice ham you got there. It would be a shame if someone put a s in front of it and an e behind it
Wally: I don't have a ham
What are you even talking about
*fifteen minutes later
Wally: I get it now
Wally: Turns out that my 'I refuse to learn a new skill unless I'm immediately good at it' tactic is sabotaging my life
Dick: Who'd a thunk
Dick: Watching Netflix without academic pressure just isn't the same
Wally: Good morning everyone
God decided to let me live another day
And that is everyone's problem
Wally: Hey
Dick: Yo
I respect you for messaging me
Wally: I respect you for messaging me
Dick: Oh yeah
Well I respect you for respecting me for respecting you
Wally: That's a lot of respecting you're doing
I respect that
Dick: A necromancer who doesn't know they're a necromancer and just thinks they're a really good EMT
Wally: This is one of the funniest things I've ever read
Dick: The opposite of formaldehyde is casualdejekyll
Wally: No just no
Wally: Why the f*** did we let morning people set the world's operating schedule?
Dick: They did it while we were sleeping
Dick: Most dust is human skin flakes therefore roombas are carnivorous robots and one day the dust won't satiate them anymore so they will rise up and devour us all
Wally: Yeah
These aren't things I like waking up to
Dick: Which is correct
Tragedy
Tradgedy
Tradegy
Tragidy
Tradegdgedegergey
I can't figure it out
Wally: I can't help you my thing is science not english
Dick: Now that Barbara is out of town I'm going to start a mutiny
Wally: Why?
Dick: She's like 85% of my impulse control
Wally: Would this be a good time to panic?
Dick: Probably, yeah
Dick: I wasn't injured, I was lightly stabbed
Wally: I'm sorry, you were STABBED?!
Dick: Lightly stabbed.
I didn't want to worry you
Wally: This, right here, is the reason why you have a reputation as a pain is my a**
Dick: I've cultivated that reputation
Dick: Bruce told me to grow up and I was speechless.
It's hard to talk when you 45 gummy bears it your mouth
Dick: Wally I've screwed up big time
Wally: Given your daily life experiences you're going to have to be more specific
Wally: You need to pull yourself together. You are coming across as distinctly paranoid
Dick: Everyone keeps saying that, It's like it's a conspiracy
Wally: Like Conner always says when one door closes choose another wall and bash it in with brute force
Dick: Does Conner say that?
I've never heard him say that
Dick: It takes an advanced sense of humor
I don't expect everyone to understand
Wally: I wonder if king size sheets are called presidential sized sheets in England
Man I should put this stuff on Twitter
Dick: High Five
50% less bacteria than a handshake
Wally: Fist bump
90% less bacteria than a handshake
Dick: Leg Sweep
100% less bacteria than a handshake
Wally: Was that necessary
Dick: Nope but it was dope
Wally: That it was
Dick: Don't worry, we know exactly what we're doing. Everything is going to be fine
Wally: How can you keep saying that?
Dick: Because when time gets tough denial is all we have
Dick: We don't need weapons
I have a lighter, okay, we get some hairspray, make some flamethrowers. Let's fry these b******
Wally: Calm down I don't think that's necessary
Dick: Fine
Let's go
Wally: Really this time
Dick: Really
Truly
Bat-Pinky swear