Citrusy goodness to start off with, but will end on a real downer.

Normal disclaimers apply.

January 2001

The new year started with a storm. Wet and miserable, the rain washing away the remnants of snow.

Jasper snuggled against me, both of us still fully clothed in last nights attire. I wrapped my arms around him, holding his body tighter. I could wake up every morning like this and be happy for the rest of my life.

One of his knees slipped between my own and we tangled our legs together. My hands travelled down to his ass, while his moved up to my shoulders. He hoisted himself up so we were face to face.

"Morning." He smiled, leaning down to kiss me.

I accepted his lips and parted them with my tongue, moving it languidly with his.

We shifted again and our hips were flush against one another. Our arousal both evident to the other. My hands were still planted firmly on his ass and I pushed him down harder onto me, groaning loudly into our kiss.

Jasper's lips broke away from mine as we both gasped for some much needed air. "Is your door locked?" He asked, undoing the buttons on my shirt, pulling the two sides open and my leaving chest bare.

"Yeah." I panted, feeling his teeth graze my adam's apple.

"Good. There's something I want to try." "What-" I was cut off when he ground himself against me once more. I leaned my head back harder into my pillows when his hands ghosted down my sides, and went to the front of my pants, popping open the button and lowering the zipper.

"Do you trust me?" He asked, looking into my eyes.

"Yes." I answered honestly. I would trust him with my life.

All rational thought went out of the window when I felt his naked flesh against my own. When did he get naked? Or better yet, when did I?

My heart rate picked up and so did my breathing. I could feel a panic attack coming on and I hadn't had one of those in months.

Jasper grasped my face between his hands. "Hey, calm down. Take a deep breath. I'm not going to put anything in. I promise you. Not until you're ready, remember."

I took a deep breath in through my nose and tried to blow it out slowly through my pursed lips, attempting to dampen my rising panic. He had promised me that he would be patient with me and wait until I was fully ready to take that step. For now we just enjoyed fooling around, but this felt different.

A couple more of those and I felt relaxed enough to continue.

I opened my eyes and stared up into Jaspers deep blue ones. The concern slowly dissipated from his features and he gave me a small smile. "Better?"

I nodded. "Sorry."

"It's okay. No pressure." He leaned down to kiss me again and I got lost in the moment once more, returning to full mast. "Alright to continue?"

"What are you going to do?"

"Just this." He thrust forward so our erections rubbed together.

I inhaled sharply and my hips jerked up into the sensation. "Oh god!"

"Good huh?"

"Y-yes..unh." I moaned, as he repeated the motion. "Where..where'd you learn this?"

"Online. I've never done it like this before. I wanted to try it."

"Well don't stop!" I begged, pulling him back down to me and kissing him hard.

On every downward thrust he made I thrust my hips up to meet his halfway. It wasn't long before we were both panting heavily and covered in a thin film of sweat.

"I'm not gonna last much longer." He groaned, grinding down harder and faster.

"Mm-me either."

My thighs were burning with both the exertion and the sensation of what we were doing. It's never felt like this before.

"I'm- I'm com...uuhhhh." I swallowed his moans with a kiss, as he shuddered in my arms and released all over my stomach. I followed closely behind him, my release mixing

with his on my skin. Jaspers arms gave out and he collapsed on top of me. "I don't think I can move."

"That's okay." I panted, trying to catch my breath. "We can stay like this for a while."

We laid in bed together for a little bit, just making out before we both decided a shower was much needed. Showering together was a fun experience, both of us bringing the other to release once more before washing off and getting out.

Loud voices rang outside of my bedroom door when we exited my bathroom.

"What are you doing here and why are you coming out of Emmett's room?" Maggie said, sounding put out.

"I stayed the night and was looking for Edwards room. It's not my fault all the doors look the same." Rosalie retorted.

"Oh how convenient. You only live next door. You could have gone home last night."

"Be quiet Maggie. You're going to wake everyone up, and besides, Emmett isn't even in his room."

"Ugh, what is their problem?" Jasper asked, whipping off his towel and tugging on his jeans.

"Rose likes Emmett and doesn't like the fact her best girl friend is dating him."

He rolled his eyes and ran the towel over his damp hair. "Can I borrow some socks?"

"Sure. You know where they are." I walked over to my door, still in my towel, and swung it open. "Will you two give it a rest already!" I said, glaring at the two girls.

"Oh, Edward I'm sorry. I was looking for Jazz. Mom called. We have to go and visit our grandparents. Pop's had a fall." Rosalie sounded really worried. Both her and Jasper are really close to their grandparents.

Jasper appeared behind me, pulling on one of my t-shirts. "What's happened Rose?"

Maggie looked between me and Jasper with her mouth open, while Rose explained to Jasper what had happened.

I quickly got dressed and followed them downstairs and out the front door, leaving Maggie outside of Emmett's room.

I wrapped Jasper in a hug and told him to text me when they landed safely. I kissed him goodbye and watched them walk down the driveway.

000

I moped around for the rest of the day. Watching kids movies with Alice and playing the odd tune on the piano, but nothing could hold my attention for long.

I continuously checked my phone for any signs of a call, or text, from Jasper. So much so that Carlisle confiscated my cell during dinner.

"You can have it back when the meal is finished." He said, placing it on the cabinet behind him.

I sulked, pushing the carrots on my plate around with a fork.

I didn't hear from him until I received a text at almost nine that evening.

Arrived safely.

That was all it said.

I pressed the call button and waited for him to pick up.

"Hey." He said, when he finally answered my call.

"Hi. I-" He cut me off before I could say anything else.

"Sorry for the long wait. Mom wanted us to go straight to the hospital to check on pop. He's broken his hip. We're going to stay with gran for a few days. I should be back in time for when school starts up again."

"That's alright. I'm sorry to hear he's hurt."

"He's a tough old man. He'll soon spring back from this. Mom just wants to make sure gran has everything she needs while pop's in hospital. He's undergoing surgery tomorrow to put a plate in place to fix it."

I heard a shout from his end of the line.

"Sorry I have to go. It's eleven here and apparently I'm making too much noise. I'll speak to you soon."

"Okay. Bye for now." He hung up without another word. "I love you." I whispered into the silence once more.

000

Three weeks went by with barely a word from Jasper, or Rosalie for that matter. I was starting to get worried for them. I had never gone this long without talking to at least one of them since they moved in.

Texts remained unread. Calls went unanswered. I emailed both of them, but they were returned as undelivered. I even looked up flight prices to Texas, but without knowing where his grandparents lived I didn't know which airport I needed and Texas is such a large state to get lost in.

What was going on?

They didn't return for school and their house remained closed up. I ended up distancing myself from everyone. Snapping at them if they asked me what was wrong, until they just stopped asking altogether.

I stayed holed up in my bedroom, only coming out for meals and school.

Carlisle and Esme were in talks with James again. Asking him to come and visit, but his schedule was too full to fit me in, thank fuck.

One Saturday we got a knock at the front door. Emmett answered and signed for a package.

"Edward, you have a parcel."

I looked up from the essay I was writing at the dining room table and took the plain cardboard box from his hands. "What is it?"

"I dunno. Open it up and find out." He shrugged, looking over my shoulder.

There was no address on the box and no where to tell me where it was from. I stuck my pen in the top and broke through the tape, pulling the rest apart with my hands.

There was a clear, sealed bag filled with a fine dirt and a white card.

"Who would send me dirt?"

"Read the card dumbass."

I picked it up and turned it over.

Herein lies the final remains of Elizabeth Anna Masen nee Finnegan.

I dropped the card and pushed away from the table as though it had burned me.

The county coroner had sent me my mothers ashes.

My breath caught in my chest as tears stung my eyes.

Why would they have held onto these for so long? Why didn't they bury her months ago? She died back in September. It was now almost February.

I really needed Jasper in this moment, but he wasn't here and he wasn't answering my calls.

I left everything where it was and walked outside, welcoming the chilled air into my lungs.

My cell phone vibrated in my pocket and in my haste to pull it out I ended up dropping it, effectively ending the call. I sat on the porch swing and grasped the phone in my hands, willing it to ring again.

It did.

I looked down at the display screen.

Jasper.

"Hello?"

"Edward."

"What's going on? Why haven't I heard from you for weeks? How's your pop? Did his surgery go okay? I'm sorry, but I really need you right now."

"Edward, pop died. He didn't make it through the surgery." His voice was monotone and held no emotion whatsoever.

"Oh, I'm so sorry to hear that. What do you need from me? I can catch a flight and come to you?"

"I don't want anything from you. You can't come here."

"Oh. Well what about when you come back? I can go and air out your house for you. I imagine it's quite musty from being shut up for so long."

"Edward." He breathed. "We're not coming back."

*runs and hides*

Don't hurt me. This will be a happily ever after story, I promise.

Let me know what you think

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