Chapter 24: Ellie
"Wow," was the only word I was able to let out, still out of breath. Never had I felt such exhilaration before in my life, feeling like I was on a high I was never going to come down from. There we laid next to each other, taking in everything that had just happened between us.
"You alright?" Tommy asked, turning towards me.
"I'm wonderful," I curled up next to him, covering myself up with the sheets of the bed and laying my head on his chest. "You?"
"Never better," he grinned, wrapping his arms around me.
"I can't believe I waited so long to do that."
"Ha," he laughed, "I wish I would've waited. All the other times I've done it don't even compare to what we just did."
"Really?" I suddenly felt insecure knowing I wasn't his first like he was with me.
"Honestly. If I wasn't already in love with you I definitely am now."
"That's just the emotions of your near death experience talking."
"Stop," he rolled his eyes, "No need to be insecure. You're the most beautiful woman I've laid my eyes on. I already told you, the way I feel about you is something I have never felt with anyone."
"I know," I smiled a bit to myself, knowing his words were genuine, "I just wanted to hear you say that again."
"You're stuck with me now," he ruffled my hair, "You're coming with me to New York whether you like it or not."
"I'm ok with that."
"You should be, you have my last name now after all."
"I hope you don't mind," I looked up at him, smiling uncomfortably now, "It was kind of on a whim after I told off my mother."
"You told off your mother?"
"Cal too."
"Wow," he looked impressed, "What brought that on? I didn't expect you to cut them out completely."
"I'm just done with it all," I sighed, reality slowly starting to set back in now, "I didn't know if you were dead or alive, and I just knew regardless of what the outcome was, I needed a fresh start."
"Fair enough."
"I feel as if I have never lived my life the way I wanted to, and now I'm finally ready for it to begin," I held his hand tightly, "And I want to live my life with you."
"You know I have absolutely nothing to offer you," letting go of my hand, he brushed some strands of hair off my face, "I mean literally nothing, the little bit I did have I lost on Titanic."
"Well that makes two of us. Just means we have something to build together."
"In that case I'll build you the best life I can," he took my hand back into his, kissing it, "I can't wait to get to know you."
I smiled at him, looking into his dark eyes, still in complete disbelief that he was alive and holding me at this moment. All of this still didn't feel real to me.
"I can't believe you're alive."
"I'm a very lucky man."
"How did you do it?"
"It's honestly not that impressive."
"Try me."
"I got shot at and fell in a lifeboat."
"You what?" I blinked in surprise.
"I got shot at," he repeated, "And fell in a lifeboat."
"Jesus Christ."
"It's not a big deal," he downplayed.
"It certainly is a big deal! As if a sinking ship wasn't enough, now you're telling me there were people with guns. Who shot at you?"
"Eh, some officer named Murdoch, I was helping passengers on the lifeboats, there was a commotion, and that was that."
"Jesus Tommy," I sat up, still keeping myself covered, and rubbed my temples. Another headache was coming on. "You could've been killed."
"Sure, I could've been, but I wasn't. So there's no need to dwell on that."
"It's just a lot to take in," I expressed. I wasn't too happy that I wasn't around to help prevent such a violent turn of events. "And what about Rose? And Jack and Fabrizio?"
Tommy seemed to hesitate for a moment, as if the hard reality that had hit me was just getting to him now. My stomach sank.
"I don't know, El."
"Weren't they with you?" I was almost pleading with him.
"Fabrizio and I couldn't catch up to Rose and Jack. He said they would meet back up with us, but it never happened. I don't know where they ended up. Fabrizio was with me, but I don't know what happened after I fell on the lifeboat."
"Oh," was all I could say. Knowing that the worst outcome of my sister's life was confirmed, I brought my knees up to my chest, burying my head between them in attempt to muffle my sobs.
Rose was gone. She was really gone.
"Hey, hey," Tommy sat up, throwing his arm around me, "They're still loggin' everyone's name, you don't have to assume the worst."
"I just know she's gone, I can feel it."
"It's going to be alright," he held me tighter as I uncurled and buried my head in his chest, "Whatever happens, I'm here. You're not alone."
I knew I wasn't, and I appreciated that more than anything. Having him hold me, letting me cry without saying anything else, was honestly all I needed at the moment. Rose did the same for me when our father died. Sometimes the best way to help someone grieve is to just not say anything at all. Nothing could change the fact that she was gone, but it was comforting to know I wouldn't have to process this tragedy on my own.
Tommy was almost killed and he barely said anything about it. I couldn't help but feel as if he was putting that on hold to help me through this. If someone had attempted to kill me, I knew it would take me some time to shake that off. Everything that had happened to us just felt like a nightmare. Rose, Jack, Fabrizio were only three of the possible lives that were taken. All of this could have been avoided if there were just enough lifeboats.
My crying subsided after awhile, and Tommy continued to hold me in silence as we both began to process everything that had just happened the past few hours.
We were devastated. But we were thankful, and lucky to be alive. We had made it, and we knew we had to make the most of it.
Hoping to post another update in a week or so! As always, thank you for reading, and don't forget to drop a review!