Sesshomaru was up to something and Sango was determined to find out what it was. The world, however, was against her. Her first attempt at following him was thwarted by Shippo. He'd gotten his ribbon tangled in his hair and, for some reason, she was the only one who could save him from such a miserable fate.

The next time Kagome had come tumbling out of her bedroom yelling about something she couldn't quite catch. She'd insisted that Sango take her side and dragged her away from the door. By the time she realized it was a dispute over if yellow was an appropriate color for a son, Sesshomaru was long gone.

It wasn't until Sango was out doing some Christmas shopping with Kagome and Rin that she finally figured out what he was up to.

He was finger combing his hair as a woman approached him. Her hair hung to her shoulders and her eyes were hard, as if she'd suffered greatly. It took her a few moments to realize it was Yuka.

She wanted to stroll up to him and ask him why, exactly, he'd been so distant all week and now, that he clearly had free time, he was meeting with Yuka.

But she didn't. She knew her imagination was getting the best of her and she was being hypersensitive to every microinteraction. The jealousy she felt was nothing more than a defense mechanism.

She trusted Sesshomaru. She repeated those words to herself a few times, trying to block out the way Yuka seemed to be looking at him. Awe and longing and-

She trusted Sesshomaru.

Trying to distract herself, Sango dove into an antique shop, inspecting the different futuristic creations that counted as old news in this world.

Kagome was complaining about the venue when her eyes landed on Sesshomaru and Yuka. She hadn't seen Yuka since Sesshomaru had thrown her into a coffee table.

Without thinking Kagome dragged Sango after her, "what are they doing here ?"

Sesshomaru's eyes widened, almost imperceptibly, as Sango approached. Almost as if caught doing something he shouldn't be.

"What are you guys doing here? Sango, Rin, and I are doing some Christmas shopping."

Sesshomaru nibbled his lip and she saw the cogs turning beyond his usually clever eyes.

"We, uh,"

He smelled like her perfume. The smell was heavy and overwhelming to her new senses, but she suspected that it was a nice smell to people who retained their humanity.

"I have to go." She tried to smile at him, to keep the overwhelming feelings of betrayal to herself. Just because he was with Yuka, smelling of her perfume, stammering when confronted didn't mean that he'd cheated on her.

Something whispered in her brain that it definitely meant that he was hiding something, but she didn't want to hear that either. Her feet carried her down the moving stairs and out the front door. She didn't know where she was headed, but she certainly headed somewhere.

What she didn't expect were the hands gripping her upper arms. Sesshomaru was staring at her with these artificial concerns painted over the contempt he must be feeling.

And she wanted to believe it. She wanted to calm down, to hear whatever lies he could come up with, so she could be happy again with the man the universe created for her, but she couldn't.

Without another way to be free she dropped a handful of scent beads at their feet and darted away when he started to choke. The smell made her eyes water, but she pushed through it, taking turns at random.

She wouldn't wait around for him to tell her that it wasn't his fault, that she'd seduced him. She wouldn't let this happen again. He couldn't break her heart if he couldn't speak.

Unluckily for her, Sesshomaru was an elite demon. He was minimally fazed by cheap tricks such as poisons and scent beads.

He landed in front of her, still coughing from the smell, and grabbed her wrists, "Gods, why do you carry such putrid pills." Without another word he took the beads from her hip and launched them into the atmosphere, hoping against hope that they would fly into orbit and never return.

She was struggling against his hold, whispering for him to set her free.

"What is wrong?" He released her wrists and cupped her face, "are you still upset with Yuka?"

"I was never upset with Yuka." She wrenched away from him, "I was only ever upset with myself."

He waited for her to return to him, staring with his head cocked.

"Nothing's wrong. I must have been mistaken."

But her damned voice chose that moment to shake and he pushed harder, "what did you think was happening?" When she glanced away he groaned, "surely you don't think…?" He trailed off, rubbed his cheeks, "Sango, I would never. There is no universe in which I trade you for Yuka."

He shuddered to consider it. That girl was the very embodiment of sensory overload. When she didn't seem convinced he pulled her closer, "there is no universe or alternate dimension where I would trade you for anyone."

"I'm sorry," she was trying not to cry, but he was holding her so tight and there was this comforting rumbling in his chest. He saved it for when she was saddest. Her words bled together, her foolish explanations being hidden behind hiccups and shuddering whines.

She'd suspected him of cheating on her, because she couldn't get over the way Miroku had treated her; she was now pushing those insecurities off on others. Before she had time to truly consider her options she decided that they could not continue.

It wasn't healthy to be so jealous and he didn't deserve a woman who couldn't trust him. He deserved, at very least, to be trusted wholeheartedly and she couldn't seem to trust anyone that way. Not anymore. How could she, in good conscious, let him continue to be with her when she would undoubtedly get like this again.

She couldn't be stoic and unbothered, but she didn't want to tell him what to do either. Miroku had always warned her that men hated to be questioned, that she would push a man to cheating if she was always going to complain when he was mostly faithful.

"I can't be with you." The words felt like barbs, serrated and stuck in place, but she couldn't force him to suffer for her insecurity. She would not hurt him time and time again because she was afraid to trust him so wholeheartedly.

She could see his heart shatter. His chest heaved erratically and she longed to suck the words back into her mouth.

"Why?"

When she didn't answer he put his warm hands on her face, "yome, why?"

His deep voice cracked, like butterscotch under a hammer and she was lost.

"I don't want to hurt you anymore."

He choked, "over a little jealousy? My darling, there is no being in this world that is not plagued with insecurities. If your only downside is that you're afraid to lose me, then I don't see how you're anything less than perfect." She could see him scrambling. Her fingers intertwined with his.

"I keep remembering what Miroku did, and I know you're not like that, but I can't always help it." She let her hand drop, realizing that she was leading him on, "I should have taken more time to be sure I'd be okay for the next man. I shouldn't have led you on, and I'm sorry."

"When I broke InuYasha's arm," he looked so small in front of her right then, his golden eyes were shimmering and his turmoil was plain for her to see, "should I have withdrawn from you? Where would we be if you hadn't helped me? I'm still unlearning my father's teachings and I'm kinder for it." She couldn't see through her tears, "I'm not a monster anymore."

"Yes, but I don't want to hurt you-,"

"Then don't!" His voice rang through the alley and he quickly corrected his tone. He didn't like it when she jumped at the sound of his voice, "I'm not hurt by your jealousy. I'm not inconvenienced by your humanity. You are free to have scars, I understand that you aren't as trusting with your men and other women, and I understand why. It doesn't hurt me that your fear is louder than your reasoning. If I have to go and tell that girl to go drown herself in a river, I will. Just-," he was at a loss of words. She could not leave him, he wouldn't allow it.

Maybe if he'd done what she asked she wouldn't have these doubts. He'd been too concerned with his own anxiety over sex and now he was losing her.

His voice was all but a whisper as he made his choice. Anything to keep her at his side, "I'll do it. We can do what you want. I didn't mean to make you feel like I didn't want you, I was just nervous and -,"

Her face twisted as she understood what he was offering her. The very thing he'd been so afraid to give her, he held before him as if it meant nothing, "are you insane?" She squeezed him tight, quaking with her own indecision, "I love you in all your prudish glory, do not sleep with someone because they are trying to leave you. Didn't anyone ever teach you not to fall for peer pressure?

"You're not just someone. You're Sango, my mate, my yome, the brightest star in the night sky. I won't give you up so easily. I'll fight for you everyday."

And he meant that.

She collapsed into his arms, choking on apologies and trying to take back the hurt she couldn't seem to help but cause. He wanted to comfort her, turn her cries into those quivering pants that he loved so much.

Tomorrow would be a wonderful day, but he was committed to making the night just as pleasant.

She felt him slide his hand down up her thigh and along the curve of her hip. His lips left burning trails down her neck. Against the cold he seemed so warm.

Sango couldn't find the words as he shoved his thigh between her legs and rocked it along her center. He could smell her arousal taking over and he ordered his own to be calm. His goal was merely to make her feel better.

When her tears had all but dried and her hands had crinkled his shirt within her palms, he slid his hand into her jeans, toying with the dampening fabric within.

She wiggles against his hand, closing her eyes as he slid his two fingers within her. The heel of his palm rolled against her center while the other hand worked under her shirt. The budding flesh that he rolled between his fingers yearned for his continued attentions.

Her gums ached.

His lips were still working along her neck, kissing and bruising and weaving a spell she could not break. Her legs quivered as she rolled her hips against his hand.

The coiling in her gut was worsening, her breathing came in small, gasping puffs and the aching was persistent.

His fingers beckoned her foreword from within and she collapsed against him.

His gasp made the blow out roll through her like shockwaves and she shuddered against him for the better part of a minute before she realized that she'd bitten him.

Two leaking puncture marks faced her as he set him free and she began to apologize profusely. Her mouth felt like it was full of honey, like he'd been a snack instead of a being.

He stopped her, panting and placing her hand on his length, "yome, not another word. Do it again." He guides her hand, slowly, from base to top and he dug his hand back into her jeans, "do it again."

XxXxXxXxXx

When Sango and Sesshomaru returned, Sesshomaru was covered in purpling bite marks. Sango was lying on his back as they entered the room, exhaustion plain on her face.

"I love you. I'm sorry I reacted so wildly."

Her words were dreamy and he felt the butterflies that usually flirted about in his stomach, lay waste to his chest.

"I love you too, yome."

A.N./ as someone who got cheated on and gaslighted R E P E A T E D L Y I figured that Sango would have at least one of these moments. Also. I live for emotionally available Sesshomaru. A L S O. Lemon or no lemon ? The day is rapidly approaching