AN: Annnnnnnd we're back to Class VII members in the kitchen! I remember writing in one of the comments to Foolproof a quick little exchange with Gaius and Laura having cooking issues of their own (Ooze Cookies, you two? Really?) and decided it was high time to make use of that little snippet.

The Better Part of Valor

"Wow, they look delicious!" a delighted Linde exclaimed, setting down her brush to look at the uncovered box of cookies that Gaius was holding. "I didn't know you baked, Gaius. And the same goes for you, Laura."

Gaius smiled, and was it her imagination or did it look a touch more triumphant that normal? "We actually don't. Not really, anyway."

Laura nodded along with no small amount of enthusiasm, clearly just as her proud as her classmate. "I freely admit that the culinary arts are not something I consider myself to be particularly gifted at, but after trying them we feel that our second attempt at making these turned out quite well! Though needless to say, in situations like this a second opinion would be truly valuable…"

Linde laughed, understanding immediately. "Say no more. I'll be happy to help, but there's really no need to make it sound like I'm doing you a big favor. After all, I like sweets just as much as anyone else! May I?"

"By all means," Gaius said, holding out the box for Linde to take a cookie. "Feel free to grab two or three, even."

"That's certainly tempting, but I wouldn't want to – mm. Mmm! These taste even better then they look!" she declared, munching away happily as a grinning Gaius and Laura turned to give one another a jubilant high five in celebration of a victory well earned –

"Oh, wait a second," Linde piped up, looking curious. "You mentioned before this was your second time making these, right? If you don't mind me asking, how did the first go?"

As one, they froze.

"Don't you think our fear of these biscuits is unfounded, Gaius?" Laura asked uneasily, trying her best to affect an air of confidence in spite of their creations managing to unnerve her simply by existing. "In spite of their appearance, I-I'm sure we haven't butchered the recipe too badly… have we?"

Gaius shook his head grimly, glancing uncertainly toward the oven that had helped spawn these confections, radiating heresy and carrying the scent of pure evil.

(A shame the final dusting of powdered sugar probably wasn't going to help things, though he was praying it still might).

"I would hope not, but then again the wind stopped blowing as soon as I laid eyes on them. That's not exactly reassuring."

They looked at each other for a moment, utterly silent, before they turned their attention onto what were supposed to have been cookies. Sweet Cookies, to be more specific. That's what the recipe had promised, but what the oven had delivered had not been Sweet Cookies, no. What had greeted them upon opening the door were smoking, misshapen, jelly-like monstrosities that somehow managed to look both burned and congealed at the same time despite that outcome making absolutely no sense and… a vibrating baking sheet?

Goddess above, whatever they had made was terrifying even the baking sheet.

Laura closed her eyes before taking in a deep breath, a familiar resolve coming over her features as she marched over to the kitchen counter, reaching out with an unshakable mien and the steadiest of hands.

"… Hmm. I suppose there's only one way to find out!"

"Wait, maybe we should – "

Too late.

The lancer could only watch as Laura took a large bite, valiantly chewing away even as her expression gradually reflected the enormity of her mistake (he wasn't sure that he'd ever seen her eyes so big), yet saying nothing when she managed to swallow at long last.

"How is it?" he asked tentatively, and his eyes widened when the rest of the cookie suddenly dropped from her fingers and bounced across the floor in a way that no cookie should ever, ever bounce.

"Gaius."

"Y-Yes?"

"I think," she declared in a tone utterly devoid of both emotion and hope, "they could have done with a little more powdered sugar."

And with that, she passed out.

"I-I assure you, it was simply a tactical retreat! A tactical retreat, and nothing more!" Laura practically yelled, her cheeks turning a bright red and her expression as close to a pout as it had probably ever been, much to the alarm of a surprised – and maybe a little scared – Linde, who found herself shrinking into her chair in no short order.

"G-Gaius?"

"To answer your question, it could have gone better," he mumbled, his dark complexion unable to hide his own embarrassed blush. "Let's just say that the winds weren't blowing in our favor back then and leave it at that, shall we?"