Disclaimer: All I own is this fanfic, J.K. Rowling owns the rest of the Harry Potter world. No copyright intended!

Lilith Moon

Rita was flying around Hogwarts grounds in her animague beetle form, searching for groups of gossiping students who may indirectly give her an 'inspiring' idea for a story to put in the Daily Prophet. She flew past a tree that had a door connected to it and some kind of blue emitted from behind it. Being nosy, Rita flew over to investigate and reverted back into her normal form. Then she opened the door and peeked in, only to find some kind of chute. Rita jumped in and began sliding down it (which lasted five to ten minutes). Once she slid off of the chute, Rita fell onto her stomach on some kind of plowed dirt. Upon getting back on her feet, Rita looked up and saw Harry glaring at her with his arms crossed. He was accompanied by a girl with silver-blonde hair at shoulder-length and hazel-coloured eyes. She even had her arms crossed while glaring at the beetle.

"You really had to poke your nose in other peoples' business, didn't you?!" Harry asked the journalist rhetorically, his voice dripping with contempt.

"Everybody wants the truth, Harry. You ought to get used to it." Rita claimed.

"Not always true, Skeeter!" growled the girl. "Some people get kicks when it comes to reading slandering articles about certain people. You have a tendency to exacerbate that by writing those filthy articles and publishing them."

"Who are you?" Rita demanded.

"Lilith Moon, or Lil for short!" the girl snapped. "Harry and I have secretly been friends since the second year, as I was one of the few Slytherins to believe him innocent of the Dueling Club Incident and to believe Harry to be innocent of his name coming out of the Goblet of Fire."

"Exactly!" Harry sneered at Rita. "My secret friendship with Lil got stronger after Halloween because my former best friend, Ronald Weasley, abandoned me in my time of need. The only other people who knows about my secret friendship with Lil is Hermione and Neville."

"Neville Longbottom also knows about it?" asked Rita.

"Yes, he even informed me that he and I are godbrothers because his mum is my godmother and my mother is his godmother," Harry filled Rita in. "Ronald kept alot hidden from me because all he cared about was being best friends with the bloody Boy-Who-Lived. Even his delusional sister had been helping out with that, as all she wants is to marry the Boy-Who-Lived, rather than the real me. Ronald and Ginevra were horribly selfish and insensitive to keep me away from almost everyone else."

"Here's something Harry and I happened to find out that'll shock you to the bones, Skeeter," Lil revealed to the egomaniac of a journalist. "We happened to stumble upon Malfoy and Ginevra snogging each other in a not-so-secret corridor, with Ronald and Parkinson snogging each other, too. Neville and Hermione were tagging along with me and Harry when that happened, earlier today."

"What did they do when they got caught?" asked Rita.

"Oh, I took care of Parkinson while Hermione took care of Ginevra." said Lil with a smirk on her face.

"And I dealt with Malfoy while Neville did the same to Ronald," Harry told Rita in a mischievous tone of voice. "But you won't be told what we did because Lil and I intend to frighten you into quitting the publishing and writing of those slandering articles."

"How?" asked Rita, ignoring Harry.

"Like Harry said, you won't be told!" Lil sneered at the journalist.

The plowed dirt blew away and turned into a grassy plain. Then a rooster walked up to the crazy journalist and flew onto her shoulders. Then it began pecking at Rita's breasts like chicken feed, much to her horror as she tried covering them with her arms. Harry and Lil started giggling like crazy to see Rita's futile attempt to keep the rooster away from her breasts. Once it was finished, the rooster ran off as Rita inspected her breasts and gave the teens before her a stunned look.

"I'm gonna have bruises there because of that bird!" Rita cried.

"Tough." said Harry and Lil simultaneously, in firm voices.

The next farm animal to show up was a cow and it stopped right next to the teens. Harry and Lil reached under the cow, grabbed it's teats from the udder and started squirting milk in the egotistical journalist's face, causing her to sputter and wipe the milk off of her face. Harry and Lil continued laughing and it sounded as though the cow was moo-laughing with them. Once the cow ran off, a duck flew down and began attacking Rita with it's wings.

"AAAIIIIEEEEEEEEE!!" Rita screamed in horror as she tried swatting at the water bird before her (which inevitably worsened the situation, because the duck also started pecking as it continued whacking the journalist with it's wings). "GET IT AWAY FROM MEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!!!"

After the duck finished attacking Rita, a llama walked up to the egomaniacal journalist and began spitting in her face. Rita got up in the animal's face to tell it off for such rude behaviour, only to get spat in her face again, much to Harry and Lil's further amusement.

"You shouldn't get your face up in the llama's face, Skeeter!" laughed Harry.

"That's why it gave you another mouthful of spit." Lil giggled.

As soon as the llama ran off, Rita was in for her most humiliating and painful moment. A bull (standing 400 feet from the three magical people) with big horns began stomping it's front hooves on the ground in an intimidating manner. Rita gulped nervously before turning around and making a run for it. The bull began growling angrily as it charged after the journalist with it's horns pointing out. Very quickly, the bull rammed it's horns into Rita's tushie, making her scream out in pain as the creature lifted her off the ground. Then the bull carried the still-screaming Rita away to whereabouts unknown without realizing blood was flowing down it's horns. Then a couple white horses walked up to the teens and got down to allow them to climb onto their backs.

"Maybe we shall go check on Neville and Hermione now," said Harry. "Just in case if Malfoy, Parkinson and the two youngest Weasleys decide to try and find a way to escape."

"And afterwards, we can all have our horseback riding as a way of celebrating of dealing with our tormentors for good." said Lil.

Harry helped Lil onto one of the white horses before getting up onto the other one. Then the teens grasped the manes of their horses gently before the animals escorted them over to a barn to help Neville and Hermione out in teaching Draco, Pansy, Ron and Ginny a lesson. Now that their enemies were being dealt with permanently, the Daily Prophet could get it's reputation repaired with the help of more responsible journalists. For Harry, it meant that Rita won't be a thorn at his side anymore. Things were finally looking up.

The End!

Author's note 1: In case you haven't found out, I currently have a poll setup to see how many total one-shots I should do for Umbridge's Bad Karma. If you haven't done so and if you're interested in doing so, vote for how many should be there for that series.

Author's note 2: Another one-shot finished. While it's obvious that Rita will eventually succumb to hypovolemic shock because of the horns gored into her tushie, I'm going to leave it up to you to decide what kind of lesson Harry, Lil, Neville and Hermione will teach Draco, Pansy, Ron and Ginny. Which girl should Harry be paired with in the next one-shot? Please let me know in a review or a PM, happy reading!