18 – Funeral

"Grandma!" I gave her a hug before she even had put down the things in her hands. Grandma always smelled so sweet because of her quirk, she is the one I have the sweat part of my quirk from, the nitroglycerin always smells like caramel. Her blond spikey hair and her red eyes were just like Kenjis and my dads. She was always so happy to see me and would never stop smiling from ear to ear when she was with us. I couldn't say that she was the same with Bakugou, or Katsuki, which is my dads' given name. Their personalities are a little too similar, both have a short temper, but either way grandma usually wins the arguments they are having. I think my dads respect for her makes him give in earlier then he does with Kiri or me.

"Honey!" she put down the bag of groceries to hug me properly. "You´ve grown so much, you´re almost as tall as me" She let me go and I give grandpa a hug too. He is the opposite of grandma and daddy, he is more the quiet type, he does speak his opinion, but usually you only hear grandma. He doesn't have his genes showing much in our family, he has dark brown hair and has brown eyes. But Bakugou has definitely gotten his physique, they are about the same height and have almost the same body, only deferens is that daddy is better trained, he is after all a pro hero.

"KATSUKI, help me with the groceries!" grandma yelled to him.

"How are you, grandpa?" He smelled like the perfume he always uses.

"I´m doing fine, sweetie, thank you" He ruffled my hair before he continued to carry their bags up to the guest room.

"Do you need help carrying more from the car?" I asked grandma.

"I bet your dads will help us with that, you can help me with the food" I could see the way Bakugou was carrying himself that he already was tired of being ordered around. Grandma put the bag of groceries she was carrying on the bench beside the one Bakugou had placed there. It was always interesting to watch Bakugou with his mom. He showed so much respect for her that he almost seemed shy or even insecure, like now. He leant on the bench crossing his arms as he watched his mom unpack.

"So how are you?" he asked, his voice was lowered, like he was too cool to really ask her that. She stopped what she was doing and looked him up and down before she gave him a hug. I knew he needed it as it lasted for a long while. I started to sort out the vegetables and put some of them in the fridge.

"Malina, dear, do you mind getting the rest of the groceries in the car?" I took one look at them, still hugging, it seemed like he really needed that hug.

"Of course" I went out to give them the privacy they needed. I took my time, talking with grandpa about all the things they had brought for only a couple of days.

"You know grandma, she is not the best at packing or restraining herself" Kirishima was coming back from his fifth trip of carrying in their things. I grabbed two of the grocery bags, and still there were three more, did she shop for the rest of the week or? I hurried to put them into the kitchen seeing that they still were talking to each other. I made myself not eavesdrop on them, it was after all private so I hurried out to get the last three bags and put them on the bench as well.

"We´ll unpack them, honey, thank you" I asked grandpa if he needed some help with the unpacking. He told me he could use the company, both Kirishima and him had filled the room up with all kinds of different things. They had brought their own bed sheets, and my dad helped making the bed together with grandpa.

"Anything new in the fashion industry, Masaru?" Grandpa used about twenty minutes to tell us about the newest trends and what colors was in this winter, which none of us really cared about, but if it made him happy I would listen all day. Grandpa used to bring clothes to me when I was a baby, learning my dads how to dress up their children, if it wasn't for him I bet I would only use sweats to everything. He actually sewed me a dress to my first prom, it was one of the nicest dresses I owned, and fortunately for me it was black so I could use it to different occasions. He often brings up how much I loved that dress and that he would love to sew more for me.

"You´ve grown so much! Come here!" He held his hands out to give me another hug, and to look at me. He made me spin around while holding my hand to look at me properly. "You´re so pretty, you could have become a model! Looks like you got the best from both sides of the family" He took a strain of hair away from my face and put it behind my ear. "You know, I was always kind of hoping you would get my hair color, but the black suits you so much"

"Thank you grandpa, that's means a lot" if he could say I looked beautiful even in my old sweats, greasy hair and no make up, you knew he meant it.

Even though it was nice having someone else in the house, we all knew why they really was here. It didn't even take my dad 5 minutes before he was breaking down in the arms of his mother. Grandma and daddy stayed in the kitchen over two hours until the dinner was ready. They usually take responsibility for the cooking when grandma and grandpa were visiting, and they are really good at it. None of us wanted to interrupt them, even if Kirishima was his husband there was some things even he couldn't get out of Bakugou. It might be because Bakugou wanted to stay strong for the family, he wanted to be the rock we all could lean on. I think he didn't want to show us he was weak with showing emotions. The discussion about Kenjis funeral showed that both Kiri and I often act based on our emotions, while Bakugou is more of a rationalist. His arguments were always rational and practical, making us see the bigger picture.

During dinner we were all quiet. After seeing the dark circles under both grandmas and daddy's eyes we understood what they had been talking about and we respected that they didn't want to discuss it anymore. We understood how exhausted they were when they were being polite and talked with lowered voices to each other. They usually only yell commands and insult to each other. They were grieving, but they still didn't want to lose their facade. Bakugou was affected the hardest, he has the best reason too, and after all he was the one who killed him. I just can´t imagine how guilty he must feel right now. To see dad and I as devastated as we were, and knowing it was because of him, it was bound to get to him sometime.

I helped cleaning the kitchen when we were done eating, together with Bakugou. He was so quiet; he didn't even comment how I put the cutlery the wrong way into the dishwasher. I tried to meet his eyes multiple times but he avoided my look. I washed the dinner table and the bench as he tried to make room to put the leftovers in the fridge.

"Dad?" I looked at him as he tried to fit the last bowl into the fridge, he still didn't look at me. "I know you might not want to talk more about it today, but" he turned around and closed the fridge. He looked like a ghost, his gaze was so lost and his face had lost all its color, I have never seen him like this before. I wrapped my hands around his neck giving him the longest hug I´ve ever given anyone. "I forgive you, dad" he wrapped his arms tight around my chest pushing me against him. He buried his face in my shoulder covering his face with my hair as he started to cry; his entire body was sobbing and giving into the sobs. He didn't say anything, but I hoped that it helped him out of the guilt hearing me saying it. He didn't let go of me until he was done crying, and the tears were falling from my eyes too. He wiped his tears away with his t-skirt before he wiped away mine with his hand. "I´m sorry, Honey, you shouldn't see me like this".

"It´s better to grieve now, dad, we understand". We finished cleaning the kitchen and joined the others in the living room. Grandma had already put out cake and fruit for us to eat, it was more of a gesture to make it look cozier. We waited for someone to start speaking, but both grandma and Bakugou was done for the day. Kirishima put his arm around me, pulling me into his embrace. "How are you doing, Champ?" he kissed me on the head.

"I´m fine I guess. It´s just hard to comprehend everything I think"

"Yea, it´s going to take some time before everything goes back to normal. We should get back to work and school soon, so that you don't miss out on too much, it is soon time for your exams"

"I don't want to think about that, dad. I should have been doing so much homework and reading right now"

"If you want to have a study session with your friends I don't mind driving you"

"Thanks dad, but I usually work better alone"

"Well, they do have notes you don't have." I guess he was right.

"Sure, I´ll talk to them tomorrow" no one said anything, before it was too much for grandpa.

"So when is the funeral?" He didn't know that we weren't going to have one.

"We´re not having one, dad" Bakugou looked down on the floor.

"Not having one?" Bakugou told him the custom not to burry criminals and that we were going to follow it because of the media.

"I understand, but we need to do something, maybe there is a way to get hold of his ashes?" We all knew where this was going.

"Either way if we burry him cremated or not, the media will find out"

"Then let us handle it, I don't care that the media goes after us, we tell them its not your decision" He was pointing at grandma and himself.

"They wouldn't believe a word of that, dad. Just let it go"

"Then the least we could do is have a memorial for him, we´ll tell stories, show pictures, remember him in a positive way"

"Dad I don't…"

"That's a great idea, Masaru!" Kiri interrupted, he was really excited. "We can have it here, it doesn't have to be anyone else but us. We´ll look through the cabinet for pictures and videos, I know we have a lot lying around somewhere"

"You think that's a good idea, dear?" Bakugou looked at him, he was so serious, and maybe he was afraid it would bring out his emotional side again.

"Yes, it would be a good way to say goodbye, don't you think? What do you think Mitsuki?" She smiled.

"I would really like that"

We used about an hour to find pictures and videos of Kenji. I went through my phone and realized that we never really took that many pictures of each other but there were some. Grandma lit candles to make it cozier and grandpa made sure to face every chair towards the TV. Kirishima was in charge of finding videos and Bakugou went through all our albums to find pictures of Kenji. It ended up with him just putting entire albums on the table. I sat in the middle of the couch, one dad on each side. It was silent, no one wanted to start, but Kiri took the word after a while.

"I remember when Denki told us about this woman who could use her quirk to make couples of same sex have children" He was going way back to the very beginning. Everyone smiled, letting him keep telling the story. Kiri seemed happy remembering back to that time. "I had to ask Bakugou at least ten times a day to even make him consider having children, and I still remember the first time I saw Kenji like it was yesterday and I remember how you reacted" he looked at Bakugou. "Like you had never seen anything as precious in your entire life" Kiri kept talking about Kenji as a baby, how he wanted to do everything himself from a young age, he hated being fed and he would always smile when he managed to do something on his own. We looked at his baby pictures as Bakugou told us about his years in elementary school. How he struggled to control his quirks for a long time, especially the hardening quirk. He told us how he would run to his room because he was so angry he cried.

"When you was born, he took such good care of you, he was so proud and he was always talking about teaching you new things. The two of you were always together, he dragged you into the woods almost before you could walk to show you his quirk, and to play. Kiri and I was worried sick sometimes, but you were never hurt, he watched out for you, always". Grandma talked about his dedication to the heroes, how he from an early age asked about quirks and heroes. Our dads didn't want us to see heroes fight villains on the TV before we got older, but grandma always let him watch them at their place. She told us his eyes would light up when he saw someone he recognized, especially if it was his dads. Kirishima put on videos from Kenjis first birthday, his first training, his first day in high school, a video of him opening his acceptance letter to UA, his first sportsfestival and his graduation from UA.

It all seemed so weird that he was gone, it felt like yesterday that he was losing in rock, paper, scissors to me, or that we ran through the woods for training and it didn´t seem that long ago he motivated me to apply for UA, to become a hero just like him. We talked about making our own firm, about being the best heroes, switching between being number one and number two. It was starting to get late, everyone had told their best memories of Kenji, except me. I didn't know what I would say, for no matter what I said it didn't matter, he wouldn't come back, I would still feel this empty inside, always feeling like something was missing and I would always miss him. I started to wonder if the feeling of missing him would ever leave my body or if it would just stop hurting so much. It was like my heart was aching, and there was nothing I would rather do then to give him one last hug, telling him how much he meant to me and how much I loved him.

It was quiet; all their eyes were at me.

"I-I cant" I got up from the couch and went to my room, feeling drained from feeling all these emotions. I needed a break; I just needed to not feel anything for a while I needed to numb myself by not thinking at all.

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Another sad chapter for you, sorry! I promise the last two will be much lighter!
Hope you enjoyed this chapter, if you want leave a review, good or bad, I really appreciate it! Thank you for reading!