Anonymous asked: Can we get some drabbles on Renji's time with Squad 11 especially his interactions with Kenpachi and Yachiru? Obviously shenanigans with Ikkaku and Yumichika are welcome!

I do a lot of shenanigans with Ikkaku and Yumichika, but not usually Kenpachi and Yachiru, so let's try that for a change!

"I have a Special Assignment for you, Abarai," the Kenpachi grumbled.

Special Assignments could be anything, really. Running around dive bars in the upper Rukon, stapling up posters to advertise their next Recruitment Brawl. Delivering blotchy hand-written notes to Captain Unohana. Helping Zaraki set up elaborate obstacle courses that would then necessitate another Recruitment Brawl. The majority of Renji's Special Assignments involved helping the captain get somewhere he needed to go. Zaraki was very good at getting lost, but Renji was exceptionally good at finding places. This worked out rather nicely, because there was almost always something interesting to fight in the places that Zaraki wanted to go, and the more Zaraki saw Renji fight, the more willing he was to bring him along.

"We goin' somewhere, sir?" Renji asked hopefully.

Zaraki scratched his rear end pensively. "Not today. C'mon in, I don't wanna talk about it outside." He let the way into what was occasionally jokingly referred to as his "office." It was the place where Zaraki hung out and took naps during the day, in case anyone wanted to find him for fighting purposes. "Chisaka had to go to the Living World last week," Zaraki explained, rummaging around in his kosode and pulling out a well-thumbed magazine. "She brought Yachiru back some manga she thought she would like."

"That was nice," Renji commented carefully. Giving gifts to Yachiru was nearly always an exercise in "no good deed goes unpunished."

"Yeah, it went over real good," Zaraki grumbled. "She liked it so much, she wants her hair done up like the kid in it." He thrust the crumpled booklet at Renji. It was a girls' manga, the kind with a lot of sparkles and girls in sailor suits. Zaraki poked a gnarled finger at a picture of a little girl with pink hair, twisted up into two little buns, with fluffy ponytails trailing down from them.

Renji rolled his eyes up towards his captain. "What the actual hell, sir? Isn't this more Ayasegawa's department?" Zaraki didn't like to be called 'sir' unless there was a profanity somewhere in the same sentence.

"Dammit, Abarai, I know you've let Ayasegawa do your hair. It takes him four fucking hours and he screams at you if you squirm. Yachiru can't sit through that crap."

Renji made an uncomfortable face. "Your hair always looks great, can't you-"

"I tried! She doesn't want me to use any gel, says it needs to be 'fluffy'. How the hell are you supposed to do a hairstyle without gel, answer me that!"

"What makes you think I can do anything?" Renji finally whined.

"Look, I started at the top. Madarame ain't got any hair, and Iba might as well not. You're pretty fast, and you're probably strong enough to hold her down, and at least you know how a ponytail holder works." Zaraki sucked his teeth. "If you do it, I'll fight you later."

"Really?" Renji asked, his eyebrows shooting up. Zaraki didn't usually feel that anyone below Ikkaku merited his time, and Renji jumped at every opportunity to convince him otherwise.

"Yeah, sure." Zaraki flung open the door to the room where Yachiru sat, scowling, surrounded by an assortment of ribbons and barrettes. "I got help."

"Wrong Way doesn't know how to do hair!" Yachiru shouted.

Renji and Yachiru had an ongoing philosophical disagreement about the geography of the Seireitei. Yachiru had zero legs to stand on in this argument, but also, she was the one who came up with nicknames.

"He has a lot of hair," Zaraki countered.

"That's boy hair!" Yachiru returned. "It doesn't count!"

"I… have done girl hair before," Renji admitted, somewhat painedly. "Hair is hair!" He almost yelled "Gender is a construct!" because he had been reading some of the books Iba's mom kept leaving in their room, but he wasn't sure he wanted to explain what that meant. At this point, he just wanted to get this over with, preferably without getting kicked in the nose, which tended to happen a lot around Yachiru. "If you let me try, I'll let you do my hair."

Yachiru's eyes went wide. "Really?"

"You can't cut it, but sure. Whatever."

Zaraki was looking over at him with something that might have been respect. "Do you know what you're doing, you crazy bastard?" he mumbled.

"Absolutely not," Renji replied.

"They're uneven, is all I'm saying," Yumichika sniffed.

"I love them, he put extra ribbons on!" Yachiru howled, swinging her sheathed sword at Yumichika, who deftly ducked. The ribbons swung delightfully around the sides of her head.

"I'm honestly surprised there were any ribbons left," Iba commented dryly.

"You can shut it, dummy!" Renji yelled. His hair was styled rather similarly to his vice-captain's, except that his was in three (rather lumpy) buns, and his ponytails trailed more majestically. The curling iron had been a terrible idea overall, but the big, loopy curls at the ends of both Renji's and Yachiru's hair had definitely been worth all the burns.

Ikkaku rubbed his own bald pate. "I kinda like that look on him. 100 kan says it helps him fight better."

"You're on," Iba agreed.

"What's the hold up?!" Zaraki roared.

"Here I come!" Renji bellowed.

"Ganbatte, Wrong Way!" Yachiru cheered.

There was a loud crunch.

Ikkaku handed over the 100 kan. "It was worth a try."