Chapter 20 – Last Chapter

Later that evening, as promised earlier, Tom got in his car and drove down to Isobel's house. He did this knowing everyone at the Abbey had gone to bed already, only telling Mary where he went to give him an alibi in case someone came looking for him.

Mary hadn't questioned the reason Tom went to see Isobel in the slightest. After listening to the conversation between Robert, Violet and Lady Shackleton, Isobel clearly had a lot on her mind. Tom noticed her drinking more than usually, so he – mostly because without his relationship to Isobel, she wouldn't be feeling that way – felt obligated to check on her and make sure she was alright.

When he arrived at Crawley House and Isobel opened the door for him, Tom noticed with a relieved sigh that Isobel looked very happy to see him and seemed quite content. He had prepared himself for red, puffy eyes – but then again, Isobel probably wasn't somebody who dealt with anger and insecurities by crying about it. While entering the Drawing Room, Tom noticed Isobel had already changed into her night gown and robe, seemingly being more comfortable than in her evening dress and corset. In a way, Tom figured it was a good thing that Isobel was so comfortable around him and she had no problem being more herself than she would be around others.

"Would you like to drink something, Tom?", Isobel asked as they sat down in the Drawing Room.

Tom had to suppress a laugh – it was after 10pm, a time when most people generally had already finished their last drink. "I think I'm going to pass.", he said with a smile, and continued, noticing the bottle of wine on the table, "how much of that have you had?"

He asked it so nicely and without any criticism, that Isobel couldn't be cross with Tom about that question. She figured he might be wondering how much she'd had to drink over the course of the evening because she too was wondering that. "Well", Isobel explained, as she filled her glass up again, "enough to give me a headache tomorrow morning, I'm afraid."

"Let's hope it won't be too bad.", Tom said sympathetically, taking Isobel's hand in his as he said it, as a gesture of comfort, thinking she was probably still a bit upset.

"Yes, let's.", Isobel said, squeezing Tom's hand in return.

"So", Tom asked, "will you tell me what you talked about with Thomas Barrow?"

"Well, I suppose", Isobel started and took a sip of wine before continuing, "we ended up talking about how cruel society can be. We were wondering if there was any possibility of our world becoming any kinder in the future."

"I see." Tom replied, deciding he had to ask about the wine one more time. "I'm not going to tell you what you can and cannot do, Isobel. But don't you think you'll regret it tomorrow if you drink more wine?", Tom asked and nodded to the bottle of wine, when Isobel was pouring herself another glass.

"I'm past regretting things, Tom, I'm too old for that. And anyway", she said, continuing her story, "Mr. Barrow and I came to the conclusion that there will always be people who disagree with you. But now I just find myself wondering if life will be much different a 100 years from now."

Tom considered that for a moment. "I'm sure it will be. We are living in the 1920s now, but just look at how much has changed in the past 100 years, or even in the past 20 years. There was a World War, there are new political movements, like the suffragette movement… maybe a hundred years from now young women will wonder how it's possible there was a time when they wouldn't have been allowed to vote." He looked at Isobel and stroked her arm. "The world is ever-changing Isobel, and you are right: there will always be people who disagree with you, but we are moving towards a more compassionate, tolerant future. And while there might be some things that are not ideal right now, why don't we make the best of it, because this is the time we live in."

Isobel didn't say anything for a moment. Partly because she was a bit tipsy and partly because Tom's words resonated with her and she found them incredibly profound and wise. "You know, I think you are right.", she smiled as she said those words. "It probably is rather silly, complaining about something I can't change. So making the most of the life we have and working toward a better future seems like the smartest thing to do."

"It does, doesn't it?", Tom replied, when he noticed Isobel getting closer and closer to him.

"Oh and, speaking of making the best of our time – would you care to stay a little longer?", she asked quietly, if not to say seductively.

Tom noticed the subtle wink that came with Isobel's words. "If you want me to."

"I do, rather", she said and kissed him. It was a passionate kiss that made Tom realise Isobel had no regrets about what already happened between them. After a moment of simply sitting on the sofa kissing, Tom pulled back. He knew he might cross a line with the question he had on his mind, but then figured all the lines had already been crossed between the two of them. So he asked, "Do you want to go upstairs?"

But instead of responding with words, Isobel went ahead and gave Tom another kiss, slinging her arms around his neck, signalising a clear no before taking off her robe. So Tom kissed Isobel back, one of his hands on her back, the other one moving up from her hip, all over her body and to her cheek.

"Let's not go anywhere and just… make the best of the moment.", Isobel suggested, and started helping Tom take off her night gown.

Once they were dressed again, Isobel got up from the sofa to get a glass of water from the tray that was sitting in a corner of the room. Her cheeks all rosy, she sat down in an armchair facing Tom on the sofa. "You know, I sometimes find myself wondering how we came to be in this situation."

Tom laughed. "We wouldn't have thought that possible a year, or even less, ago, would we?"

"I don't think so, no.", Isobel agreed before she added, "I guess I must thank Violet."

"Oh, she'd love that!", Tom said with a hearty laugh. "Don't let's do that, or she'll tell you another story about Catherine the Great."

"I'd rather she didn't.", Isobel chuckled. "But if it hadn't been for those – interesting, if not uncomfortable – conversations between me and Violet, you and I never would have found ourselves talking about that topic."

Tom agreed. "True. Though I wonder about it myself quite frequently. After all, we have been friends for a few years now, always got on very well. We're not that different you and I."

"We probably aren't. But that our relationship would evolve into something this intimate… let's just say I didn't expect that in the slightest."

For a moment, Tom just looked at Isobel, feeling so grateful to have her as a friend. That thought reminded him of something, he felt he needed to ask her. "But where does that leave us? Does this keep happening? Or do we draw a line and decide to stay friends? Have you given that any more thought?"

Isobel pondered that for a moment. "I suppose I have yet to make up my mind. Before tonight I wasn't sure if what we had was a one time thing or not… well, I certainly didn't plan for anything to happen tonight. I guess that was just…"

"Just…?", Tom wondered.

"Just the wine talking? A sudden impulse of… lust? Not wanting to be alone? A combination of all of these things?" Isobel wasn't sure what to think. She saw Tom get up and move closer to her.

He then stood before Isobel, helped her up and took her hands in his. "Here's a proposition for you: Sleep on it. See what you think in the morning. Come up for tea in the afternoon and we'll talk then. How does that sound?"

Isobel smiled. "Thank you for being so considerate. I think it would be best to do it that way."

After a few more words between them, Tom decided to go home. Isobel brought him to the front door and they said their goodbyes, including a kiss, leaving each other to their thoughts.

The next afternoon, Isobel walked up to the Abbey quite determinedly. She had done what she and Tom agreed on the night before: To sleep on it, and then take the morning to think about the future. So that is what Isobel did when she sat in her garden.

What do you want? Isobel had asked herself. It was a trivial question, and finding an answer wasn't any easier. Naturally, as she does with most things, Isobel considered all the possible scenarios. Asking herself what positive and negative things each of these scenarios would bring with it. In the end, when Isobel realised what is was she wanted, it seemed like the most sensible, realistic way to handle the situation.

Isobel's thoughts were interrupted by Carson opening the front door for her, welcoming her in and taking her coat. She then entered the library to greet everyone. Soon, Isobel was involved in the conversation about the family's next trip to London for Rose's Coming Out Ball. Of course, at some point Violet interrogated Isobel with questions as to why she walked up to the Abbey, when she and Rosamund could've have picked her up to drive up together. "I mean don't you get tired of walking that far?", Violet asked, not wanting to let go.

Isobel knew she'd never hear the end of this, yet she responded truthfully, "What can I say? I fancied the fresh air. To clear my mind. Taking time to contemplate life. You should do that some time, Violet."

"Oh I don't think so.", Violet replied. "That sounds rather liberal to me."

Before anyone, especially Isobel, could say anything about that comment, Mary quickly changed the subject. "Isobel, before I forget, the columbines in our gardens are in bloom already!"

Violet was rather surprised at that change of subject. "Mary, what on earth has made you change the subject to columbines?" The others shared the surprise.

"Well, yesterday evening Isobel and I talked about her garden and how she had light blue columbines there, though she always envied the purple ones at the Abbey.", Mary replied.

Isobel was surprised how easy that lie slid of Mary's lips. They had talked a lot last night, but not about flowers. Though she couldn't help but smile, because she remembered an afternoon where Mary, Matthew and her had been sitting in the garden at Crawley House and Matthew had asked how Isobel was getting along with the new flowers she'd been planting. It seems Mary had remembered that purple columbines were a personal favourite of Isobel's and she had actually been looking forward to seeing them.

"How sweet of you to remind me of that, Mary.", Isobel smiled. "I shall take a look at them some time soon."

"Actually", Mary explained, "Tom is the one who told me about them. He mentioned at luncheon that he saw them when he was out walking this morning. Perhaps", she turned to Tom, "you could show Isobel where they are?"

That, of course, had been Mary's plan all afternoon. Tom told Mary that he had to find a way to have a quiet and most certainly private conversation with Isobel without raising any suspicion. So the columbines were the perfect excuse for Tom and Isobel to go to the garden. Mary highly doubted that anyone would feel the need to join them, because everybody must now assume Isobel and Tom would be talking about columbines and other Yorkshire flowers.

And as so often, Mary was right. Because when Isobel kindly asked Cora, Robert, Rosamund and Violet if they wanted to come along, they thanked her for asking, yet declined. So when Tom went to open the door to the garden, Isobel got up and walked over to Tom, who gently took her hand in his as they went outside.

It was subtle, but it got Rosamund's attention. With a raised eyebrow, she turned from Mary to Violet and then to Cora. "Were they holding hands just then?"

Robert, oblivious as ever, looked confused. "Isobel and Tom? Of course not, why would they?"

Rosamund ignored her brother, knowing very well that he hadn't paid any attention to anything after the conversation about flowers had begun. So she looked expectantly at Mary. But her niece only shrugged and said. "I wouldn't know."

"Honestly Rosamund", Violet said to her daughter, "people in a courtship or marriage might hold hands, but not two people who are just friends."

Cora and Mary exchanged knowing looks, hoping Rosamund wouldn't catch on that rather risky and straight-forward hint Violet had just given.

"No of course, Mama. You're right. They wouldn't just hold hands, being friends and all."

"Probably not.", Cora concluded and took a sip of tea.

Meanwhile, Tom had listened to Isobel's words about having spent a lot of time considering where she wanted their relationship to go.

"So you see, Tom, I find that there is a simple solution here. One that, I believe, will make us both happy.", Isobel explained.

"I'm all ears.", Tom responded patiently, wanting to give Isobel the time she needed to elaborate on her thoughts.

"Very well, then. I believe that in the long term, we could never continue doing what we are doing now. I for one am not getting any younger – and trust me, that would bother me sooner rather then later – while you still have most of your life ahead of you and are raising a daughter, so you wouldn't want to have any obligation towards me. And as much as I hate admitting it, I believe we could never be truly happy, because people like you and I cannot be as close as we are, according to society. It pains me to say it, but that is a big part of my decision."

Tom noticed that Isobel sounded a bit insecure, not knowing what he thought. So he took Isobel's hand in his and said, "I admit, I had the same thought. It came to me last night when we were talking. I realised that I am so lucky to have found a friend in you, and I wouldn't want to risk our friendship for anything."

"Neither would I.", Isobel agreed, and cupped Tom's cheek with her free hand. "I firmly believe that if we were living in a different world, we might have had a real chance as a couple. But not in this one. You said it yourself, we have to make the best of the time we live in."

"I'm so glad we can agree that our friendship is worth giving up this little experiment of what might have been possible. I really am.", Tom spoke these words in all honesty, knowing Isobel felt the same way.

"Though I must say this.", Isobel noted, getting closer to Tom, "I did enjoy our experiment. It really was a pleasure."

Tom laughed. "Look at you, flirting without blushing!" That earned him a tiny, but loving punch on the arm. They stood in silence for a moment and shared a kiss, which they both knew would be their last one, before Tom continued. "You know, I have been thinking more about the little notion that our world is ever-changing. It would be so interesting to know where our world will be in a 100 years."

"I dare say you and I won't live to see it.", Isobel said. "But yes, I think that's a beautiful way to think about it. Something new happens everyday and with the turn of each year into the next, our world and the people in it evolve."

"Just think about what will be possible in a century! Maybe one day, everyone can love whoever they love, without it being unusual, wrong, or even forbidden.", Tom wondered.

"Maybe one day, men can be in love with men and women can be in love with women, and there will be no judgement. Maybe money and class won't play as big a role as they do now. Maybe people will appreciate each other for how different they are, living united no matter their skin colour or religious beliefs.", Isobel weighed in.

"I'm sure all women will have the vote soon.", Tom said hopefully. "So maybe women will play a more active role in politics, maybe there will be female prime ministers!"

"Female prime ministers, doctors, lawyers, and more." Isobel finished. Then she thought for a moment. "And while many things will change, others will stay the same. Like you and I being friends. No matter what happens, we can always turn to each other as friends."

"Absolutely. And we will always have this family we both somehow stumbled into, who took us in, and make us feel loved and appreciated everyday."

"Who knows what will happen? Probably many, many things."

Slowly making their way back to the Abbey, Isobel and Tom went over many more "what if"-scenarios and "maybe's". Because one never knows where life is going to lead.

And who knows? Maybe both Isobel and Tom will find love again. And when they do, they'll have each other to confide in, talk things over with, and support each other. Because no matter what happens, no one is ever truly alone. And while you might feel lost, because the world has taken something from you, you will always be able to move on. After all, once you forgive the world for what it did to you… it's much simpler to walk the path of life again. You can be a good friend to the ones you love most, once you've made friends with the world again.

THE END

I can't believe I am done with this story. As ever, I would be really happy about any last comments and reviews - I hope you enjoyed reading the story, I certainly enjoyed writing it! I'm working on a few ideas for new stories and want to give a little heads-up:

There might be some one-shots here and there, or little stories where each chapter is a "missing scene" I would have loved to see.

Also, I have been contemplating a Downton Murder Mystery as well as a modern AU and also a story with Sybil (and some other ladies) in the focus.

For now, that's it!