A/N: I apologise that I've been slow to update this story as well as my others. I will be finishing them all but I've decided to concentrate on one at a time. Thank you to those of you who are still accompanying me on this particular journey and have left reviews. Your encouragement and kind words mean so much to me. Also thanks to a guest reviewer who gave me an idea regarding Callen's recovery.
Chapter 25
Nate drove Alex and Jake home with Kensi and Deeks following in the SUV. They pulled up at the kerb outside the house and the agents guarding the perimeter approached the two vehicles to check the occupants. Kensi and Deeks got out and spoke with the lead agent and, satisfied that there was nothing amiss, beckoned Nate, Alex and Jake out of the car, keeping alert as they walked up the path and unlocked the front door. Without a word, Jake went to his room whilst Alex brewed coffee.
Pouring himself a mug of coffee and grabbing a can of cola for the boy, Nate went up to the bedroom. The door was ajar and Nate saw him lying on the bed. Tapping lightly on the door, Nate said "Jake, can I come in? I think we need to chat." Jake nodded and Nate entered, sitting down at the desk but positioning himself so he could see the boy clearly. "How're ya doing?" he asked.
Jake shrugged and muttered "Okay." Nate waited for the boy to speak again, not wanting to pressurise him. Finally, Jake sat up and brought his knees to his chest, hugging them. He looked at Nate and said "I'm glad mom let me stay to see Uncle Callen. I was worried about him."
"We all were but it looks like he's gonna be okay" answered Nate.
"I hope so" said Jake in a quiet voice, afraid to voice his thoughts.
"You know it'll take some time before he's fully recovered" asked Nate, wanting to ensure the boy understood the severity of Callen's injuries.
"I guess" replied Jake before lapsing into silence again.
After a while, Nate ventured to engage Jake in conversation. "I know it's not been long since the….. incident, but how are you coping? You know none of it was your fault; that you shouldn't blame yourself."
Jake sat quietly for a moment, his eyes downcast. When he finally spoke he didn't look up. "I did at first but both Miss Hetty and Uncle Callen told me it wasn't my fault. I want to believe them but it's difficult y'know. I keep thinking that if I hadn't been taken Uncle Callen wouldn't have been hurt." He started to cry and in between sobs he said "I…keep … seeing …Uncle Callen … lying there … and all ….that blood."
Nate moved forwards and wrapped his arms around the boy, comforting him as best he could. "I know it's scary but remember what Hetty and Callen said to you. None of this was your fault. Those men used you as a means to get at Callen. All this is on them." Nate felt the boy shudder as he tried to stem the tears. "I can't promise that I can make the memory go away completely but I can help you so that it's not as bad."
Jake raised his head and wiped his eyes. "I don't want to remember it so I'd like that."
"You've had a big day so we won't do it now. I'll come by tomorrow. Is that okay?" asked Nate.
Jake nodded but asked "but what if I have another bad dream tonight? I'm scared to go to sleep."
"Well, how about asking your mom if she'll sleep in the same room as you tonight? That will help won't it? And you can think of a happy memory and focus on that before going to sleep" suggested Nate.
Jake nodded. "Do you think mom will let you stay in my room tonight, that is if you can?"
It was not the scenario Nate had thought of or was particularly comfortable with but he nodded and said "We'll ask your mom and if she says yes then I'll stay in the room with you." Just then they heard Alex calling them down for dinner.
Nate went straight to Alex and said "Jake just confided in me that he's afraid to go to sleep in case he has another nightmare. I suggested you stay with him at night but he's asked if I'll stay. I appreciate it's not conventional but I'm happy to sit in a chair and watch over him if you're agreeable."
Alex looked at Nate hard before saying "If it's what Jake wants, then fine." She paused before adding "You can help me serve the dinner."
The evening meal was eaten with limited conversation after which Jake went straight to bed, Kensi and Deeks left to check with the relief team of agents, leaving Nate to speak to Alex. He went into the kitchen where Alex was washing up. He took a tea towel, picked up a plate and started to dry it. "Alex, how are you doing?" he asked.
"Shouldn't you be going up with Jake?" she asked.
"I told him I needed to talk to you and that I'd be up in a while" Nate replied. "So how are you?" he asked again.
Fine" she answered abruptly. Just like Callen thought Nate. He waited. Finally she spoke, not looking at him. "I don't know what's real any more. Everything I thought I knew about mom turned out to be a lie and then I found out my father was alive and I had a step-brother. Jake was so happy to have a grandfather and an uncle. It took his mind off the death of his grandmother. But when Garrison was sent away, he was inconsolable; he wouldn't eat and kept asking difficult questions, ones I couldn't answer."
"Is that why you wouldn't let Callen see him?"
She gave a slight nod. "I thought his presence would be a painful reminder to Jake." She paused before adding "I thought I was doing what was best for my son."
"I would've thought having contact with his uncle would've been beneficial to Jake, a male influence to help him cope with his grandfather's absence" " countered Nate.
"Perhaps, but I wasn't thinking clearly." She stopped washing up and turned to face Nate, leaning against the sink. "I had this deep ache here." Alex put her hand over her heart. "My world had been torn apart, twice in fact."
"Did it ever occur to you that Callen was hurting too? After all, Garrison is his father."
"I didn't think about it and, to tell the truth, I didn't care. I was heartbroken, my life and that of my son was in turmoil." Alex paused then added "Besides I was angry with Callen."
"So you punished Callen. Why?" asked Nate.
"He'd promised to fix it; to keep Garrison here but he failed."
Nate could hear the anger in her voice. He shook his head. "As I understand, Callen did everything he could to keep his father here but the decision came from too high up in the government. He didn't have a choice but to comply."
"But he promised me…." sobbed Alex. "He lied."
"Callen doesn't lie, Alex. He's a man of word and will do his utmost to fulfil a promise." Alex made to interrupt but Nate held up a hand. "But you have to realise there are some circumstances that are out of his control."
Alex turned back to the sink and continued to wash the dishes. Waiting patiently for her to continue, Nate picked up the knives and forks and dried them. In a quiet voice, Alex started to speak. "Sam said something to me at the hospital. He said that the team have been searching for Garrison and that Callen has been parked outside our house every night, watching over us. Why would he do that after all I've said and done to him?" She turned her head to look at Nate, waiting for an answer.
"Like I said, he's a man of his word. He made a promise to Garrison to protect you both. The one thing you should know about Callen is that he'll always look after the innocent, defend those unable to protect themselves. Most of all he will always safeguard those he considers family."
"I nearly lost Jake. Believe it or not, I'm very grateful for what Callen, and the team did to rescue Jake and I certainly didn't want Callen hurt, really I didn't." She fell silent again. "But I'm not sure I can let him back into our lives. His job is too dangerous. I can't put Jake at risk again."
"Alex, I understand what you're saying. Yes, being a federal agent, especially one who specialises in undercover work, can be hazardous with a constant threat of injury and the making of enemies with those enemies using whatever means to seek revenge. It's natural you want to protect your son. I know it's a difficult decision to make but you risk alienating Jake in the process of keeping him safe. I can't make the decision for you, no-one can but I highly recommend you speak to Callen about your concerns."
"I guess I've got a lot of thinking to do" she said with a slight smile. "Thank you" she added.
"Just trying to help" said Nate modestly. "Can I get you a drink or anything?" he asked.
"No thanks. It's been a tough couple of days. I think I'll go to bed" she replied as she emptied the sink and went upstairs.
Kensi and Deeks entered the house and locked up. "All good?" asked Nate.
"Yeah, the relief team's in place and there's nothing suspicious out there" Kensi answered. "You had a chat with Alex?" she asked.
Nate nodded. "Wow and how did that go?" asked Deeks.
"Better than I thought but not as good as I'd hoped" stated Nate. "You know I can't discuss it with you?"
"Yeah, we know" said Deeks. "But I thought you might let something slip" he added with a grin.
Nate shook his head at the detective's comment. "I'm off to watch over Jake. I suggest you get some rest too. Good night" and he turned to leave them.
ooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo
Hetty returned to hospital and, on seeing her approach, Sam went to speak to her so as not to disturb Callen, who was resting.
"How's he doing?" she asked.
"Resting but I'm worried about the cough. It's becoming more frequent. Anyway, how did you get on at the office?" asked Sam.
"It all went according to plan. Preparation for the mission is progressing and Director Vance has managed to keep Mosley in line, meaning we're running with my operation. However, I'm afraid the team will not be allowed to participate." Hetty let her words sink in before adding "I know you're disappointed but you're best placed to protect Callen and his family should there be a further attack."
"I know, it's just …" said Sam but he was interrupted by the sound of coughing. They both entered the room, rushing to offer Callen ice chips and a tissue. He thanked them once the coughing subsided, assuring them it's nothing to worry about. They let it slide but both are determined to keep an eye on him.
However the cough persists, getting worse with each bout, causing Callen to have a fitful sleep. During the night Callen awoke with another coughing fit, having difficulty catching his breath, Sam noticed a slight sheen on his forehead. Glancing at Hetty, worry mirrored in her eyes, Sam rested the back of his hand on Callen's forehead feeling he's hot and clammy to the touch. Realising what's about to happen, Callen tried to make light of his symptoms.
"Mr Callen if you know what's good for you, you trust our judgement and let us call for assistance" said Hetty in a voice that Callen knew meant she was not about to accept any resistance from him. He rolled his eyes as Sam pressed the call button.
A nurse entered at a rush and proceeded to check her patient's vitals, noting the data on the chart before paging the night duty doctor, who entered the room after obtaining an update from the nurse. Callen asked that they remain when the doctor was about to ask Hetty and Sam to leave. The doctor nodded his head in agreement and started to examine Callen, listening to his chest with his stethoscope for abnormal sounds. After the examination, the doctor picked up the clipboard from the foot of the bed and read.
"I've checked your notes. When did the cough start?" he asked.
"Not long after coming out of my second surgery yesterday" answered Callen.
"I presume you've experienced chest pain from your original injury." Callen nodded. "What about shortness of breath? Have you coughed up phlegm?"
Both" said Callen, pointing to the bin half full of discarded tissues. The doctor, using a latex glove, retrieved them and handed them to the nurse. "Get these to the lab for a sputum culture." Turning to Callen he said "You've got a raised temperature which indicates a possible infection. I'll start you on a broad spectrum antibiotic via the IV. Once we get the results which will tell us what infection we're dealing with, a more specific antibiotic can be used."
"What's the problem?" asked Hetty.
"I believe he's got postoperative pneumonia, also known as hospital-acquired pneumonia (HAP) or nosocomial pneumonia, which is a lower respiratory infection that was not incubating at the time of admission and that presents clinically 48 – 72 hours after admittance. It's quite common when, in his case, the lungs are already compromised from the original injury."" explained the doctor pausing before turning his attention back to Callen. "I'll arrange a chest x-ray for tomorrow so we can see if there's any inflammation and the extent of the infection but we can measure oxygen levels in your blood right away and draw blood for a blood culture to see if the infection has spread to the blood. As you're already receiving oxygen via a nasal tube, I'll increase the amount which will help with your shortness of breath. There are other steps we can take once we know what type of infection and no doubt you've already been talked through the deep breath exercises you need to do." Callen nodded. "I won't lie to you HAP can be a life-threatening illness that could result in long-term lung damage. However I believe we've caught it early enough. I'll advise your doctor of the steps I've taken. Are there any questions?"
"I suppose this means I'm not leaving any time soon?" asked Callen.
"Mr Callen!" said Hetty sharply.
"I'm afraid not" answered the doctor.
"Then no, I've no more questions" said Callen. "Thank you Doctor" Callen added as the doctor bid them goodnight.
Hetty and Sam came and sat down beside Callen. "Are you okay with what he said?" asked Sam.
"I don't have a choice do I?" answered Callen, eyeing Hetty, waiting for her to say something but she remained silent. "I'm good, Sam. We both know the risks regarding operations, especially chest surgery. "
"Dr Goodwin suggested there could be post operative complications. No doubt he'll check what this doctor has done. We'll have to wait and see what the chest x-ray shows but for now, I suggest you try and get some rest" said Hetty, pleased when Callen dropped off to sleep almost immediately.
The rest of the night passed without incident. After breakfast, Dr Goodwin came to check on Callen, picking up his notes from the foot of the bed. "I see you've had an eventful night" he said and, not waiting for a response, continued "Dr Sharp's updated me on what he's prescribed and I concur with the diagnosis. I was afraid of this complication but, as with Dr Sharp, believe we've caught it early enough for it not to be too much of an issue."
"Will there be any long-term lung damage" asked Callen, quietly afraid his career might be finished if there was.
"I'll have a clearer idea once you've had the chest x-ray and we have the results from the sputum culture. I wouldn't worry too much at this stage" he said reassuringly.
He left the room and Hetty followed him out. "Doctor, I believe Mr Callen was concerned that his career as a field agent would be over should there be lung damage" stated Hetty, clearing in tune with her boy's concern.
The doctor turned to face her. "I understand his, and your, concerns but until we have those results, I cannot speculate one way or another. What I will say, is that he's fit and strong which will help in his recovery."
"Thank you Doctor" said Hetty and he turned to continue his rounds. Hetty sighed. She had suspected as much but had wanted to ensure the doctor understood what Callen was concerned about. Hetty sighed again when she saw Arkady coming towards her, a huge grin on his face.
"Henrietta, is good to see you" he said. "How is Callen? Good?"
"Arkady, this is not a good time for you to visit him" she said sharply.
"Why?" asked Arkady, suddenly concerned. "Something gone wrong?"
"Not exactly but he's been given some potentially bad news" she explained, and seeing the look on the Russian's face, added "You know he had to have emergency surgery for a ruptured liver?" Arkady nodded. "Well, he's been told he has post-operative pneumonia which may cause long-term lung damage, although we don't know that for certain. We're waiting on the results of tests."
"I see" said Arkady seriously. "Then is good time to visit." Hetty looked at him as if he was mad but before she could speak, he held up three letters for her to see. "From Garrison" he said simply.
Hetty took the letters Arkady offered her and looked at them in turn. There was one each for Alex and Jake and the third simply said Moy syn. "I'll make sure they get them" Hetty said and Arkady looked disappointed. Handing one envelope back to him, she added smiling "Give Mr Callen's to him yourself."
"Thank you Henrietta" Arkady replied as he took the proffered envelope and entered Callen's room, after tapping on the door to announce his presence. Sam gave the Russian a scowl and rose to eject him from the room. "Henrietta, said I visit."
"Sam, it's okay. Let him stay" said Callen, causing Sam to turn his attention to his friend. Answering the unspoken question, Callen nodded.
Sam left but gave Arkady a stern warning. "Don't tire him. He needs to rest." Arkady raised his shoulders and looked innocently at Sam, causing the latter to shake his head as the slid the door closed behind him.
Arkady turned his attention to Callen and was unable to hide his concern. "I'm fine" said Callen.
"Don't look it" retorted Arkady and Callen rolled his eyes, thinking You can count on Arkady not to sugar-coat things. "My friend, take this" said Arkady, handing Callen the envelope. "Perhaps good news."
Callen gazed at the envelope and, recognising the hand writing, looked back at Arkady. "Your people found him?" asked Callen.
"Da, took time but they found where he was held and got him out. Your father now hiding" replied Arkady.
"But he's safe, you're sure?" asked Callen.
"Da, we are in touch" said Arkady. "Thought you want to know. I go. Will come see you again."
"I do. Thank you Arkady." As Arkady got up to leave, Callen added "Ya tvoy dolzhnik." Arkady looked back at Callen smiled but dismissed his comment with a pfft.
Sam went to go back in but Hetty placed her hand on his arm. "Give him some time alone, Mr Hanna. Arkady has just given him a letter from his father."
Callen stared at the envelope for some time before deciding to open it. It was written in Russian and Callen smiled.
Grisha, my dear son
Arkady's sources finally tracked me down and, at great risk to themselves, broke me out of prison. I am safe and well for the time being, although I'm in hiding. Arkady has kept me up to date with what is happening with you all. He can get word to me and when I'm able I'll send messages to you via him. However I must be careful for as long as Pavel Volkoff is alive, he will be actively searching for me.
Arkady told me what happened and I'm sorry that Jake was put into mortal danger because of me. It breaks my heart to hear you were seriously injured but I'm pleased to know you're on the mend. I understand that things between Alexandra and you are strained since the exchange and I thank you for setting aside your differences and putting your life on the line to save the boy. I know you will say it's what we do for family.
I'm so proud of you, son and I wish I could be with you.
For your own safety, please do not come searching for me when you are well. As you have experienced, Volkoff will do anything in his power to get to me to surrender.
Grisha, I know you didn't agree with my decision to accept my fate to be exchanged. I told you at the time that, since I met your mother, I have spent my life helping those in danger from the KGB and getting them to safety in the West. I couldn't live with myself knowing the innocent couple would be in captivity or worse if I hadn't acted as I did. Nor could I let you sacrifice your career and life by helping me escape, although I appreciate what you were willing to do.
You are a good man, Grisha, and deserved better than the childhood you experienced because of me. I am pleased Henrietta found you and gave you a safe haven and a resemblance of a family life. I know I've caused you much pain but everything I've done has been with your safety in mind. We are more alike than you'd like to admit, my son. I have seen at first-hand what you are prepared to do or to sacrifice for innocents or those you love. You should, therefore, have some understanding of why I acted as I did.
I know you doubt your worth and I know there have been times when you've distanced yourself from your team just so they would not get hurt. However, I have seen them go to such lengths to help or rescue you. A man who is worthless does not receive the level of loyalty, trust and love they have for you. So you should never doubt your worth. Many people love and care for you, myself included, although I know I've found it difficult to show you.
I want you to know the happiest days of my life since your mother was killed, was finally being with you, Alexandra and Jake as a proper family. I will treasure those memories forever although I know I disappointed you greatly. I didn't know how to bridge the gulf between us. I should have tried harder and for that I am truly sorry. Perhaps I'll have the opportunity later. I pray that is the case.
Don't give up on Alexandra. She's had a great deal to contend with since you and I came into her life. Not only did she lose her mother, but everything she thought she knew about her past turned out to be a lie. She was confused and then to find out she not only had a father but a half-brother, it was a lot to take in. She finally accepted us into her life only to have that family ripped apart. I'm sorry she took her pain out on you. You didn't deserve that.
If I am able, I will make my way back to you so that we can once again be a family. Until that day, know that I'm thinking of you and am proud to have you as a son.
Your loving father
Nikita
As his eyes filled with tears, Callen was pleased that he was alone and silently thanked Hetty for keeping Sam away. However much he loved the man, Sam didn't always know when Callen needed space. Callen re-read the letter a couple more times before putting it down, falling asleep with a smile on his lips.
A/N: details of pneumonia from articles from and as well as others.
A/N": Ya tvoy dolzhnik as translated by google translate: I owe you.