Hanukkah 1915
"There's no storm we can't outrun
We will always find the sun
Leave the past and all its scars
A happy beginning now is ours!"
-Once Upon a Time
It was a cold December night. The wind howled, and flurries of snow fell. Sammy added another few twigs to the wood burning stove, on which several pots and pans sat, bubbling and boiling away. Latkes were frying in one pan, oil spattering onto the pretty floral print wallpaper.
As Sammy smelled the delicious fried food, there was a knock at the front door. "It's me!" yelled Tommy.
She opened the door to let him in. "Jesus, it's cold out there," he said, setting his coat and the basket he was carrying down. A pair of strong arms snaked around her, and he nuzzled her cheek. "Something smells delicious."
"I'm making latkes, potato pancakes. Its customary to eat fried food on Hanukkah," she said.
"When will the others be here?" asked the Irishman. "I told them to come at seven but it's not a problem if they come earlier."
As if to prove a point, Fabrizio and Helga, the Dahls, Mandy and Olaus, Jack and Rose came bursting in all at once. Reluctantly, he released her. She took everyone's coats, put them on her bed.
"Something smells great," said Jack. "I'm making latkes. Come on in and eat!" said Sammy.
As the group ate, Sammy clinked her wineglass. "I'd like to propose a toast." Everyone stopped what they were doing.
"Some people think fate is nothing but a bunch of baloney. I mean, I used to be one of them. But in a way, fate brought me onto Titanic. Fate led me to Tommy. And to all of you." Sammy held up her wineglass. "To fate!"
"To love!" said Tommy.
"To life!" said Jack.
"To time travel!" said Mandy.
After a delicious dinner of latkes, pot roast and chicken soup, Helga found an old sqeeze box and Sammy played all her favorites on the little old Steinway piano in the corner.
Olaus noticed Mandy lurking in a corner and approached her shyly. "Dance with me?"
"I'm no dancer," said the American girl. "Please?" asked Olaus softly, holding out a hand. He was shy, but kind.
"I'm sorry," Mandy apologized as they skipped around the room. "For what?" asked Olaus. "Being so rude. You were always so kind to me and all I ever did was ignore you. You deserve better than that, Olaus," she explained as he twirled her around to the music.
"It is fine. This world, this time, is still strange to you. I understand this," said Olaus.
"But I was so unkind to you."
"Unkindness does not matter. Only love."
She stopped dancing. "Olaus, are you...in love with me?"
His silence was louder than a jackhammer. "Finally," breathed Mandy. Gently, he kissed her, moving his hand up the small of her back.
Someone wolf whistled, and the two of them came crashing down to earth again. "I forgot we weren't alone," said Mandy, giggling. Her laughter sounded like a peal of bells. "Sing for me?" asked Olaus.
"Please! I'm tired of being the singer in our little group," said Sammy. Mandy sighed. "Fine, if it will shut you both up."
She racked her heart for the perfect song. Finally, she found it. The song she was going to sing was perfect because it was about finally securing a happy ending after years of darkness.
"Tomorrow is uncertain
Who knows what it will bring?
But one thing is for sure, love
With you, I have everything
A happily ever after
Is the way these stories go
Used to think that's what I wanted
But now I finally know...
There's no storm we can't outrun
We will always find the sun
Leave the past and all its scars
A happy beginning now is ours
We celebrate together
A longtime wish come true
What makes it even better
Today our story starts anew
Let villains cast their curses
We can overcome them all
If we all stand strong together
There's no way we can fall
There's no storm we can't outrun
We will always find the sun
Leave the past and all its scars
A happy beginning now is ours
If we're facing endless night
Take my hand and join the fight
Past the clouds we'll find the stars
A happy beginning now is ours
There's no storm we can't outrun
We will always find the sun
Leave the past and all its scars
A happy beginning now is ours
If we're facing endless night
Facing endless night
Take my hand and join the fight
Come and join the fight
Past the clouds we'll find the stars
Oh, we'll find
A happy beginning now is ours!
A happy beginning now is ours!"
"That was really pretty. What song was that?" asked Sammy. "It's from the Once Upon a Time Musical episode," said Mandy. "I chose that one because it's true. After what seems like a lifetime of darkness we all finally have our happy beginning."
"Wow. I never thought of it that way," said Sammy, impressed with her friend. "Come on, everybody, its time to light the menorah!"
She had propped up a beautiful silver menorah on her countertop, where it gleamed ostentatiously. Look here, it seemed to say. Look here and let your fears melt away.
Sammy took the candle on the tallest holder, called the shamash (helper) and used it to light the others from right to left. As she lit the candle, she reflected.
How far they had all come. They had gone from bedraggled, freezing and traumatized survivors of the sinking of the not so unsinkable Ship of Dreams to productive people who were determined to make their lives in New York.
I was nothing more than a sad, scared, broken little girl before. But I found friends and love and happiness, and I finally feel complete.
"Ba-ruch A-tah Ado-nai E-lo-he-nu Me-lech ha-olam a-sher ki-de-sha-nu be-mitz-vo-tav ve-tzi-va-nu le-had-lik ner Cha-nu-kah. Blessed are You, Lord our God, King of the universe, who has sanctified us with His commandments, and commanded us to kindle the Chanukah lights," she said and lit the first candle.
Sammy picked up the menorah and set it in the window for all to see. She and the others went back to the dining table.
"I'd like to propose a second toast," said Tommy. "I want to raise a glass to my beautiful Sammy. She saved all our lives and has been the light of my life ever since." He looked at her tenderly, and Sam blushed.
"I'd be lost wi'out her," he continued, his accent becoming thicker as it tended to when he was angry or nervous. "She stuck with me when we were separated on Titanic. She stayed by my side when we went through Ellis Island. She never left me when we were still navigatin' our new lives. She never gave up on me when I got hurt in the war. I love you, Sammy girl, forever. Be mine, in this life and all the lives to come. Will you, Samantha Catherine Miller, do me the honor of becomin' my wife?" he asked, eternal hope and love shining in his gorgeous stormy sea foam eyes.
"Tommy Ryan, I gave you my heart when you kissed me for the very first time, and both it and I have been yours since then, as you have been mine. Of course I'll marry you."
He pulled her in and kissed her like it was their last night in this world.
Sammy had wanted to marry Tommy with all her heart. But she also had reservations. She was Jewish; Tommy was Catholic. She knew interfaith marriages could work, but when Tommy asked her about her fears she had told him this:
"In my time, Jews are...we're drowning in a sea of intermarriage and assimilation. I just don't want to be responsible for the death of my own people, even in part."
But, in the end, her love for Tommy had outweighed her fear of rejecting her faith. She realized she could have them both.
Sammy had wanted a simple wedding. The bridal party had consisted only of the Titanic Circle. She had worn a simple gown of white lace, with her hair flowing free around her like a waterfall down her back.
Tommy had been his most handsome yet, wearing his best clothes. They were married on a beautiful autumn day in Central Park, with the autumn winds billowing the orange and red leaves around.
When Sammy pulled away, he was alarmed. "What is it?"
She was staring into the distance, and his gaze followed her to three people standing there in the distance. One was a woman, with Sammy's brown waves and her sweet smile. Next to her was a handsome young man with Sammy's green eyes, and a six year old boy who was the man's miniature. All were smiling happily at her. They look familiar, he mused.
"Sammy?" Tommy asked quietly. "Do ya know them?"
Her eyes filled at once with tears. "Mama..."she whispered. "Daddy...Max..." Felicity smiled at her, and brushed her hand against her daughter's face. "Please don't go away again, Mama," Sammy choked out, clinging to Tommy. She was like a little child then, scared and innocent. Felicity mouthed something to her then.
Be at peace and live your life. We love you.
Slowly, the three spirits vanished like smoke. After they had gone, Sammy felt lighter than she ever had since the death of her family. She leaned into Tommy's tender touch, and he held her to him, never wanting to let go.
Christmas 1915
As Tommy decorated their Christmas tree, he felt his wife's hand slip into his. "Hey, sweetheart," he greeted. They kissed, long and deep. She tasted of red wine and apples. "I have somethin' for ya," said Tommy. "On the table."
There was a wicker basket on the table, tied with red and green ribbons. She opened it, to find a small black and white pit bull puppy asleep on the blanket inside. "Oh, my goodness, hello! She's so little," Sammy breathed, picking up the puppy, who squealed and whimpered in protest. "Where did you find her?"
"Behind my building," said Tommy, smiling at the sight of Sammy with the little dog. He knew she loved animals, and when he had found the poor thing in the alley, cold and hungry and scared, he knew he couldn't just leave her out there to die.
Sammy set the puppy back down on her blanket. "She's adorable, baby. Thank you so much."
Tommy pressed his warm lips to her temple, moving his hand up the small of her back. "What are ya gonna name her?"
Sammy pulled away and looked at the puppy again. "She looks like a Patch to me."
She covered her mouth suddenly and bolted to the bathroom, where he could hear her throwing up. Concerned, he went to her and crouched to her level. "Sammy? Are ya all right?"
She looked at him then, green eyes shining in excitement. "I have something to tell you."
He helped her up and gave her some water to rinse her mouth with. Once she had been properly cleaned up, she looked up into the tender, loving eyes of her husband. "I'm pregnant," she confessed. "I found out a few days ago and I've been trying to figure out how to tell you."
His expression softened to one of joy, and he picked her up and twirled her around.
Over the next months, Sammy prepared herself mentally to become a mother. One night, when she was about eight months along, as she and Tommy sat on the couch together, he confessed.
"I'm scared," he confessed. "Of what?" asked Sammy. Tommy sighed and put his hand on her belly. "I'm afraid of losin' ya. When we were on Titanic, and you got hit by the steward," he said, touching the scar above her eye, "at least then I could protect ya. This kind of pain...I can't protect you from that and it's eatin' me alive."
She took his hand and moved it to the swell of her belly. "Listen. Do you feel her kicking?"
Tommy nodded. "I'm not going anywhere, and neither is she." He looked at her with tenderness and care in his eyes. "I love you both." He wrapped a blanket around her and kissed her forehead.
"For what it's worth," Sammy confessed, you're not the only one that's scared. I've never had much pain tolerance, and as if that weren't enough, I worry that I won't be as good a mother to her as Mama was to me. I worry that I'll screw up constantly, that I'll let her down. That I'll let you down."
"You could never do that, love," Tommy promised. "I saw ya with those kids on Titanic. They loved you. Our babe will too."
Sammy snuggled closer to her husband. "You always know how to make me laugh/smile."
She got up to make some tea and suddenly, she started to sway. Patch, who had been sleeping nearby, cocked her head and nudged close to Sammy out of concern for her mistress, and Tommy caught her gently and set her down.
"What is it? What's wrong?" asked Tommy, alarmed. "I must have stood up too quickly," she said. Tommy sighed. "Sammy. You're almost nine months pregnant. You have to take care of yourself. Please," he begged. She sighed, knowing full well he was right.
He sat down on the bed, holding her from behind. He put his hand to her bump, caressing it gently.
"I'm sorry. I'm just so used to being busy and active all the time," Sammy said, snuggling close to him.
He handed her the hot mug and she accepted it gratefully. "What would I do without you?"
Tommy held her close to him and rocked her gently to sleep. As the sound of her soft snores filled the tiny apartment, he made a silent vow to his wife and unborn baby that he'd never abandon or hurt either of them in any way. I'll protect the two of you with my life if need be.
July 16, 1916
Sammy was napping when the first contraction hit. A pain shot through her, and she bolted up off the couch. She looked at Tommy, an excited, scared glint in her eye. "She's coming."
For seven hours, Tommy was seated in the kitchen with Jack and Fabrizio. "It's okay, Tommy, Sammy and the baby will be fine. She's strong. You know that," said Jack, trying to reassure his friend.
Her screams of pain tore at him, but Alice, the midwife, had refused to let him in. Finally, he couldn't do it anymore. He stood up, ignoring the protests of his friends, and barged into the bedroom. Alice was indignant at this show of defiance. "Mr. Ryan, you can't be in here!'"
Tommy turned to her then, a dark, scared look in his eye. "I'm not leavin' her, you old hag, now sod off!" he snarled.
"Tommy," Sammy whimpered, holding out her hand as if to reach for him. He rushed to her side and took her hand. "It's all right, love, I'm here. I'm not goin' anywhere," he said.
Tommy kissed her hands and held them as she gritted her teeth and gave one last strained push.
A cry rang through the air, and the baby came forth, squealing like a pig at the slaughterhouse. Alice caught her, and wrapped her up in one of the blankets Sammy had knit for her. "You have a beautiful little girl!"
"Is she okay? Is she okay?" Sammy asked, wild with panic and a sort of newfound protectiveness for the little girl that she and her great love had created.
Alice handed the small bundle to her mother. "It's all right, Mrs. Ryan. She's in fine fettle."
The child sneezed, and Sammy giggled through her tears. "Hi there, pretty girl!" She kissed the baby's forehead and held her close.
Tommy was overcome with emotion. He stroked his newborn daughter's face. "Our pretty little lass!"
She handed the fragile infant to him, being careful to support her head. "What should we call her?"
"How about Felicity for your mother, or Lissie for short. Felicity Rose Miller Ryan," Tommy said proudly. He set the baby down gently in the crib and kissed his young wife's temple. "I am so proud of you, my sweet Sammy."
He got into bed with her and held her as she slept, reflecting on his new little family.
There's no storm we can't outrun
We will always find the sun
Leave the past and all its scars
A happy beginning now is ours!