TW: very brief mention of pedophilia. S*icide reference. R*pe accusation reference.

"Yeah I think that the light in the kitchen needs fixing too."

Evelyn turned and stared down at the woman at the bottom of the ladder, "I fixed that a few days ago."

Jeanine shrugged and flicked dirt out of her nails, "Fix it again."

Evelyn shook her head and laughed, "You've been staring at my arse haven't you?"

"So what if I have?"

Evelyn chuckled and came down the ladder.

"Holy shit." Jeanine murmured.

"What was that dear?" Evelyn came down the last rung and raised her eyebrows.

"I need a shit." Jeanine awkwardly went to leave but Evelyn caught her in her arms.

"You are my favourite dorky whore." Evelyn planted a kiss on her cheek.

Jeanine laughed, "Why thank you."

Jeanine's smile turned sad and a question that had been bugging her for years reared it's ugly head once again.

"Jeanine?" Evelyn's brow knitted together in concern.

"Does my past bother you?"

Evelyn looked confused, "We spoke about this Jean, you did what you had to do."

"No... my... sexual past."

"No." Evelyn answered too quickly and too definitely for Jeanine to believe her.

Jeanine went and sat on the sofa.

Evelyn followed and sat next to her.

"You know what they said about me Evelyn. Sometimes... when you get told something often enough... you begin to believe it." Jeanine admitted.

"Oh Jeanine." Evelyn wrapped her arms around her.

"It's just... what if I was predatory?"

Evelyn pulled away and forced Jeanine to look at her, "Never think of yourself like that."

"But even then... the fact that I have slept with so many other women doesn't bother you?"

Evelyn sighed, "I don't think I am aloud to be bothered by it."

"Why not?"

Evelyn would never stop blaming herself for all the hate that Jeanine endured. Not only was she bullied at school but she was forced into a job in which she was in the public limelight.

The articles about her that made her out to be the worst and most sexually perverse person ever. There were real pedophiles out there that got zero news coverage but people were told to hide their young daughters from Jeanine. A woman who would never hurt a child. Jeanine then began to blame herself for any pedophilia happening because she felt as though it was her fault. If she was just normal, people would have been warned.

She was falsely accused of rape by someone who had initiated the relationship. She wanted to destroy Jeanine. She hated lesbians and Jeanine was the perfect target.

At the beginning of her career she was constantly mocked by Marcus and he would ask people if they were comfortable around her. It even got to the point where Abnegation men would swap with the Abnegation women. This left Jeanine feeling completely isolated and alien.

She was excluded out of any conversations to do with sex education or even to do with the reproductive system in biology. The school system was her responsibility yet she was excluded from it. She was told it was only Abnegations and then informed on what should be taught. Abnegations deciding what should be taught in sex education was an absolute disaster and they realised that after a few years meaning that Jeanine was aloud back into the conversations.

The only people who ever showed Jeanine any compassion were Max and Johanna. Andrew didn't hate her for her sexuality but hated her for other reasons so it was simply easier to let them believe that it was for her sexuality. Johanna would occasionally stand up for her by breaking up arguments but she could never directly do anything. The small gesture of sitting next to her snd hugging was enough to make Jeanine feel better though. Max did stand up for her and he even went as far to threaten violence but it wasn't enough. He couldn't actually hurt them so they carried on their taunting.

All the while, Evelyn sat there internally screaming for the woman that she loved. She blamed herself for everything that happened. She made Jeanine out to be predatory. She left her alone. She hid and made Jeanine feel alone.

Evelyn was snapped out of her trance with tears in her eyes.

"I'm so sorry." Evelyn sobbed much like she did when they were teenagers.

Jeanine awkwardly put her arms around her.

"Evelyn I... it's okay." Jeanine knew exactly what Evelyn was apologising for.

Evelyn pulled back and wiped snot from her nose, "It's not. It was so selfish."

"It's okay to be selfish Evelyn, it's human." Jeanine hated how much Abnegation had brainwashed her.

"But you... how did you survive it?"

To tell the truth, she almost didn't. Jeanine attempted suicide three times. Once during the bullying in high school, once when she saw how people diverted their eyes and stepped away from her and once when Evelyn faked her death. Every time that she thought she had got past something, something else happened.

"Good doctors." Jeanine attempted to joke but Evelyn's face wasn't too impressed. Jeanine took Evelyn's hands, "Because I'm strong, not as strong as you but strong none the less."

"I'm not-"

Jeanine cut her off, "Yes you are and you inspired me to be strong."

They hugged again, both with tears running down their cheeks.

"Your 'sexual past' makes you very good in bed so no I don't mind it." Evelyn's voice was slightly muffled by Jeanine's top.

Jeanine laughed, "Thanks Ev."