"You've been what!?"
Sergeant Jerome was shocked when he found what happened to me. "The absolute nerve of these men! GAARGHH!" he slammed his fist unto the table, the papers of the first aid tent flew all over. He cleared his throat before turning to the healer tending to me, "Elijah, how are his injuries?" The bluish white glow of Elijah's hands faded as he finished up. I immediately threw on my dirtied robe shortly afterwards.
"His injuries seem minimal. Bleeding on his face, chest, and legs had already stopped before the check up. I'll be applying bandaging to prevent any infection. Other than that, he's going to be just fine, sir." Elijah grabbed the bandages from the nearest chest and proceeded to wrap up whatever wounds I had left in white cloth. He turned to me and asked, "You can walk, right?" and I answered with a silent nod.
"Since you are already late, I suppose an exception is at order. Come to Colonel Levon's Office after first aid, Private Von Zayne, you will be oriented there." Jerome said with a stern salute before leaving me to my first aid. Me and Elijah sat in silence as he continued to do his work. He was gentle and fast for someone that relied on Life Magic for healing. Then, Elijah himself broke the comfortable silence I was in. "Well, if you were injured, as you claim to Sergeant Jerome you were, it would be a miracle for the injuries to heal before you even got here. I may be a healer, but injuries gone in a short time span? It's ridiculous, I'll tell you that."
It was expected for someone who has studied the art of healing to have noticed my unnatural state. It was true that the bleeding had already stopped before I even arrived in the infirmary, I didn't have enough blood for it to fully heal. Reddish scars were the only remnants of the wounds I had suffered a while ago. But before I could even reply, his eyes were fixated upon my robe.
"That robe... Isn't it St. Paula's?"
"Do you know St. Paula...?"
"Of course I know her. She was my professor at the Rune Academy, and she's everything that a healer should strive for. Kind, generous, skillful at that. Despite the difficulty in learning life magic, she never discourages anyone, unlike a certain other professor I've heard about. St. Paula is an inspiration for Rune Healers everywhere..."
For once, I hadn't realize for one moment how St. Paula influenced the lives of people outside of Corona. But, in hindsight, I never once took that thought into consideration at all. After all, I had my own father to worry about, and this curse to, well, curse up to the skies for all eternity. Maybe I was a bit too selfish to realize it until now.
"So, did she give you that?"
For some odd reason, silence had filled the room, and, in a flash, so did the terror of the truth had drowned my heart in its wake. I had no idea what to respond. My tongue rolled on its own, aching to tell the young healer the truth, but a part of my heart wanted to keep it a secret.
"Yes, she did..." was all I could say at that very moment.
Am I being selfish by keeping it a secret? Would I save this man's heart from being broken by the harsh truth? Time and time again, even I do not know the answer to these questions that linger in my mind.
"Wow, how come though?"
"Oh! Uh, she commissioned a new robe for herself, and she insisted on me keeping this one robe of hers. I am one of her valued clients, and I suppose this was her way of thanking me." I lied.
"Valued client, huh? What made you come to her often? St. Paula had all the capabilities of 50 or so talented healers and more, what's so different about you, Private?"
"I have a condition. It's of unknown origin, though, and from what I remember, St. Paula says it affects my bones and muscles. It's not a common void disease, she was sure of that..."
"Woah, tough luck, huh? Were you born with it?"
"Pretty much..."
"Alright then... And that's that! You're good to go. You know where Colonel Levon's office is, right?"
"Yes, I know where it is."
I stood up, grabbed all my equipment and walked out. As I reached the tent's exit, I turned to Elijah once more. "Hey, thanks for your help." I said, and left the tent without even waiting for him to reply.
Σ-0-0-0-0-0-0-0-0-0-0-
It was now a few hours after high noon. The heat of the Sun was already settling into the encampment. Though the winds that were making their way from the West to here, it could not stave off the sweat that was now evident on most of the soldiers' foreheads. Even I myself am feeling a bit of discomfort in my own clothing. Whether or not it was the Spring breeze or the upcoming Summer heat, it was undeniable that this time of the year was beginning to heat up.
I arrived at the office as soon as I possibly could, and to no one's surprise, Sergeant Jerome was already waiting for me. "Private Von Zayne, excellent. Come inside, we'll begin shortly." And so I went inside the office. The first thing that had greeted me was Colonel Levon. He was sitting on chair behind his desk.
"Please, take a seat." Colonel Levon said, waving his hand towards the chair situated in front of him.
"So, you were attacked by your fellow soldiers. Do not worry, I'm dealing with the situation as we speak. I will not allow discrimination and low morale to blossom within this army. Even if this is merely a small encampment. Every single brave heart here matters, even yours, private."
There's something awfully nice about hearing Colonel Levon speak. He speaks with wisdom, but really, there's that strength that lies just beyond words. He spoke those words to me with absolute confidence and certainty. I wouldn't be surprised if this was one of the reasons why he's a symbol for some. And to be spoken to by a war hero that has yet to reach his limit, it is an absolute honor.
"But I digress. I'm sure Sergeant Jerome had already filled you in on the general information you need to keep track of. As you may already know, I am Colonel Dylan Levon, Head of the Sunshine Infantry. I'm here to bring you in on the specifics."
I sat up straight and gave him both my eyes and ears. I had no choice. After all, I forgot to bring any sort of writing equipment with me, so I had to listen attentively.
"As a freshly enlisted soldier, you'll be under going serious field training to ensure you're physically fit and ready for the various work the army will ask of you. You won't be assigned to any posts until you have finished the training. You'll be starting your training tomorrow at exactly the first dawn with the other fresh recruits, refer to your PUP for further details." I took out my PUP just as he said that. A bluish white light was engraving words into the PUP, signifying my duties for tomorrow.
RECRUIT FIELD TRAINING
Date: 19 of Dawn Month - 21st of Sea Month
Time: Everyday at dawn's first light
Reminders: Always report to the grass clearing on the West of the encampment unless instructed otherwise by the field adviser. Please take note that you are late once you hear the first horn.
"Now, as for these posts that I have mentioned earlier, these are basic jobs , more or less, that anyone in the army can do. Think of it as mere assignments. You'll be entrusted with various objectives like scouting, relaying information, and assisting with foundation. These are examples of some tasks on a post. The post you'll be assigned to will have different assignments that require you to perform, and depending on your performance, you'll be shifted to a different post where the jobs will increase in difficulty and importance. Be prepared for what's ahead of you. Your job as a soldier starts tomorrow, private. That will be all for today. Dismissed." Colonel Levon stood up and gave me a salute.
"Welcome to the Sun Army, Von Zayne." I did the same, now feeling a bit more confident than usual.
"I'll do my best, sir!" And with that, I exited the tent and went straight for my own tent.
The encampment is still so busy, even when there are a bunch of new recruits flooding into the place. I guess work here doesn't really stop. But, there is one thing I don't really get. Peaceful times are still surely in sight for most of us, though I haven't heard much from the Kingdom regarding attacks from the Desert Kingdom. I wonder why the military is still so active, even in these times of peace? Whatever the reason may be, I'm not too worried. If I can get myself out there to fight for this country, that's all that matters really. Whether or not I'll dread to see my own dead body on the cold, lifeless battlefield, I'd still have to find that very reason to fear it.
I reached my tent in a short while, then I threw myself on the comfortable bedding. I don't have that much on me, but I suppose going into the capitol would be somewhat of a chore. After all, they do have a serve us meals every sundown, and I wouldn't worry too much about starving here. Besides not having to starve, I find it difficult to go into the capitol after that incident. Call me a coward, but I can't deny the chance of it happening again. I don't want to risk something I have no knowledge of its possibilities.
I don't even know what goes through the heads of these people when they see people like me.
I never knew how this life would feel, honestly. It's like most of my responsibilities at home were now taken care of. In exchange, however, the demands of battle is now my new responsibility, and no one would be able to do that part except me. I'm expecting tough roads ahead, but isn't that what life is all about? It is an uphill battle where there's no way to go but up. Once you tumble downhill, your only choice is to go back up and climb again.
I opened the book my mother wrote, my insides seeking comfort from my own thoughts for once. I was once again amazed by how she wrote these morbid stories. Reading them again, however, they were not as morbid as I thought they were. The implications are there, but there's always that one missing link in each story. Like an itch just barely out of reach, frustrating you by how you're unable to do anything about it. Maybe I was just overreacting, maybe I was just overcome by shock, but I can't really deny that these stories really were made for children. I don't know what mother was thinking, and I wish I could hear her thoughts about these, but I just hope that these were for me.
A way for her to express her love for this family.
A few hours past by quickly, and sundown was drawing near. With that, I decided to go to the banquet hall early. I mean for a recruit like me who has no idea what to do, you have to have some sort of initiative, right? It is your duty to uphold the values and characteristics you were entrusted, whatever those values and characteristics were.
I did not pay much attention to the orientation earlier.
I have arrived there in a short while, and it was a fresh view. It was an open area, winds passing by in between the hanging orange lanterns around three large round tables, perfect for accompanying multitudes of people. At the very far end of the hall was a big cauldron above a burning blaze, the aroma of its contents filled the air as I walked towards one of the round tables. On the left and right of the cauldron were two long tables, the left one displaying plates and utensils, while on the table opposite of it were batches of freshly cooked food with some ingredients ready for cooking.
An insignificant hunch from earlier was roaring in victory as there was almost no one around. I suppose that would be the case since most of the people here are still on duty, but I wonder about the other fresh recruits and whether they have the same initiative I do. Maybe it's just me and my lonely self, but I sure miss Corona already. The only people that were in the banquet hall were the cooks and the servers. As soon as I took one step forward, one server immediately noticed me.
"Fresh recruit!" he yelled at the people behind the cauldron, then the chefs and servers began moving around, preparing for a long night ahead of them, some groaning, others diligently working in silence. The server approached me with a warm smile plastered unto his face. "Please, sit wherever you like. Since you are early, we'll bring out the food for you in a moment."My body began moving on its own and turned to the nearest round table to sit down. I suppose I am still a bit nervous about this new environment. Even so without someone to accompany me.
A few finger taps on the table later and my food was already making its way to my lap. It was a fresh stew with ingredients you'd normally find around Paradise Prairie, a smoked chunk of meat which I don't recognize just yet, two boomshroom kebabs that were smeared with special sauce, and a pint of ale. The smell of the food was way too enticing for a hungry man like me, but before I could even bite on the boomshroom kebab, soldiers started to rush into banquet hall.
Before I even knew it, I was already surrounded with faces I don't recognize and voices I couldn't discern from one another. Although the choking atmosphere was quickly brushed off by a hard slam at my table. I jumped back a bit, spilling some of the ale on the table. "HEY ROXAS!" I don't need to guess who that voice belonged to. After all, I had my fill of hearing her proclamations several hours earlier on the laps.
"Nice to see you, too, Sharice" I laughed as I grabbed a boomshroom kebab absentmindedly.
"You bummed out or something!? Come on! Get pumped!"
"Haven't you heard of what happened to me?"
"Oh, THAT WAS YOU!?" her voice got the attention of a few soldiers around us. It was only for a moment, but I feared something like this might happen. As much as I like being around people, I don't want people to look at me in some other way.
It feels weird, and the pressure of their gazes just ticks me off somehow.
"Come on! You didn't fight back!? What are ya!? You're a soldier, aren't ya!?"
"They're soldiers too, you know!" I snapped at her, after which I quickly turned to my food for the third time tonight. I sighed again, looking for a way to somehow cool down the heated atmosphere. "Look, it doesn't really matter if I fought back or not. Anyway, I'm alright now, so..."
"Well, whatever! As long as you're alive, that's fine with me!" she said triumphantly as if she won a historical battle. It's kind of amusing to see her still so enthusiastic at this hour. Maybe that kind of optimism is what I need to keep going. It sure is working for her, at least.
I chuckled at her heroic statement. "Yeah, I'm still here..."
"Oh, uh, I was wondering if you could save this seat for me. I don't know anyone else, so..."
"Sure, where are you going, though?"
"To get food, duh." And she ran off with a smirk on her face.
I still don't understand how she becomes timid in a coin flip. Maybe that's just her, but I'm thinking too much about useless things. It's about time I start eating for once.
After tasting everything on my plate, including the ale, I'd say this is not so bad. I mean it is free for us soldiers and I don't want to be the first person who'd start complaining about things they should be thankful for.
Sharice had finally arrived at the table and sat down, carrying her food with her. When she got back, her hair was messier than it was before. "Stupid line, took too long."
"Shouldn't the people manning this area be bringing us the food? Why did you wait in line?" I asked her.
"They are not supposed to bring you the food. At least, that's what I've heard."
It seems like the early ones get the exception.
We sat and continued eating our food in a comfortable silence. Though, it was as silent as one would hope for surrounded by loud soldiers enjoying their time off of the day's work. People are cheering about something, some are just dead drunk, and others are just wasting away with their friends, laughing all the way. Until Sharice was the one who broke the silence between us.
"Why did you enlist in the army...?"
"Hm? What was that? Sorry, I couldn't hear you over the noise."
"I said... Why did you enlist in the army?"
"Oh... That? I wanted to live a new life."
"That's it? How about your family? What do they feel about you coming here?"
My heart sank when she said that. For a moment, a cold feeling ran up my spine, and hesitation started to linger in my thoughts whether or not I should answer. But, then again, who would be able to stop me?
"I..."
I paused. The doubts were stronger than I had imagined. However, taking a deep breath, I continued.
"My family is long gone..."
I heard Sharice stop slurping her soup the moment she had realized what I said. I looked at her, and saw the rim of her soup bowl that was still connected to her lips slowly part as she lowered the bowl unto the table. She wore a look of shock and a hint of regret.
"I-I'm s-sorry! I didn't mean t-"
"It's fine..." I cut off her stuttering.
"I wanted to take up the opportunity. I don't know how my family would react to this decision of mine, but I'm sure they're fine with it." Sharice merely nodded at my answer. Almost as if she was disappointed to hear it.
"Enough about me, though. How about you? Why did you enlist in the army?"
"I wanted nothing to do with my family. I wanted out of the house..." she said that in a cold voice, one that would be able to spit venom if it wanted to. "Ever since mom and dad had my little brother, they didn't give me the attention I deserved. Soon, I had enough being ignored, so I left without a word and found myself here."
I suppose I still can't understand what she feels as of right now, but it wouldn't hurt to try, would it? I don't have a sibling myself, that part I know all too well. I can't remember a time where father or mother would ask for another child. And frankly, the thought of a younger brother or sister didn't even cross my mind all those years ago. If I did have a younger sibling, I wouldn't be here in the first place.
I would still be stuck in Paradise Prairie, hoping to survive with the only family I have left to protect.
I looked over at Sharice again, as she was now finishing up. I was done with my food moments earlier. She took one last sip out of the pint cup and sighed heavily. Somehow, she was more down than me compared to a few minutes back.
"Well, that was good food, eh?" I said somewhat enthusiastically. Sharice merely shrugged lightly before replying.
"I had better back home..."
"It's about time we hit the tents, we do have training first thing tomorrow." I took out my PUP, ensuring what I was saying was right.
"Ah, right..." she heaved herself up, not wanting to move an inch after that hearty meal. A few soldiers around us were also deciding to rest up for the day. Everyone seemed tired from the looks of things, and I'm guessing I'll be like that sooner or later.
To be honest, I'm quite pumped for the training for the next few months. I know I'm somewhat physically fit, but I doubt that this body would even last a few minutes out there in the actual battlefield. I know I need to up my game, and that's exactly what I need to do.
I looked back and Sharice was falling behind. Taking a few steps back, I slowed down my steps to match her pace. "You alright? Something bothering you?" I asked her out of the blue. It wouldn't hurt to try, right?
"Hey, Roxas?"
"Yeah...?"
"Do you love your family?"
"Why are you asking me that? Don't you? Don't tell me you don't..."
"Just answer it!"
"Alright, alright... Well, I do. No matter what. I mean, even though we've been through a lot of hardships, and even though I sometimes feel like father doesn't love me anymore, I can't really doubt the fact that both my parents love me."
"Oh..."
"Were you expecting something else?"
"N-no... not really."
"Then why do you look so disappointed? You thought my answer was wrong, didn't you?"
"I thought if I asked you that, you'd realize that you don't like your parents. Or something. I don't know! I just wanted to know!"
"Not everyone thinks like you, Sharice."
"Hmph! Whatever! I don't need my petty parents anyway! I'M THE GREAT SHARICE CARTERWELL AND NOTHING, NOT EVEN FEELINGS CAN STOP ME FROM BEING THE GREATEST OF ALL TIME!"
This time, I held back my laughter from her silly proclamation. After a while, we finally came to a crossroad within the encampment.
"My tent is this way. I'll see ya tomorrow!" Sharice ran off before I could even return her farewell. "Whatever, greatest of all time..." I said to myself, somehow hoping it would've reached her ears.
Σ-0-0-0-0-0-0-0-0-0-0-
Looking back today, it seemed it was like a faint dream. Today was something else. I can't quite put in the right words for it, but somehow, today was not like what I was expecting. But to be honest, what sort of expectations did I have before coming here?
First, I was praised, next I was welcomed by some people, and these people I have never even met before in my life, then I was beaten up, degraded for reasons I could not even comprehend, and lastly I made myself a friend in a place where I thought I could never fit in.
And these thoughts kept racing in my mind, back and forth, as I laid down on the bedding.
I know it feels futile to question everything, especially after what I've been through to get here, what I have experienced personally, but as a person who has the right to decide for himself, it feels kind of right to question it all. I remember when it was only yesterday when I thought to myself that I was never fit to be a soldier, that the sword Colonel Levon gave me was nothing more than a tool to protect me and my father. But, at the same time, even I did not exceed my own expectations. What became from a noble act turned into a tragic end for my father.
The weight of the burden I carry within my heart is still there. I have become stronger as a person, and as a son, but I know for sure that one person can only be strong for so long until he breaks.
I took out my mother's story book and began to flip through its pages. Though I held the book in my hands, my mind was elsewhere. My mind was still within the crevasses of my own memories. Like a tap on the shoulder, a feeling stirred within me. It ached and ached, soon enough, waves of memories came crashing against my vivid vision. Blurred images and skewed voices filled my so-called trance. Then I remembered my dreams.
I no longer dream of that entity that claims to be the curse. I no longer dream of scenarios that I have never experienced. All of that stopped. I don't know if this is a sign from fate itself. I don't know if this is a good sign or not, all I know is that they have stopped for a reason that was beyond my own understanding. I wonder what those dreams meant? I wonder if they're real. I wonder if I'm able to meet that person in one of my dreams.
That person who soothed my aching soul with only her words.
Sunshine.
I'm wondering too much for a person now at the forefront of the bloody battlefield.