Wet n' Wild

Inspired by Episode 2.15 - Lost and Found

LORELAI: I could answer the door wrapped in cellophane but unless I was wearing a Yankees cap, he wouldn't even notice.
LUKE: Geez.
LORELAI: Oh, don't be embarrassed Snuffy, I'm just teasing. It'd be a Mets cap.

Description: One of Lorelai's dirty jokes prompts Luke to entertain a very pleasing fantasy.

Luke stepped under the warm spray of the shower, letting out a long breath, along with a cough from the dust that seemed to hang in the air all over his apartment. It had been a Hell of a day. Somehow, he went from looking at apartments, to buying a building, to attacking his own walls with a sledgehammer.

The place he had seen with Lorelai earlier would have been a good option for him and Jess, but the thought of having Taylor as a landlord was off putting enough to put the kibosh on the whole damn thing. He felt like he was losing his mind when he signed on the dotted line and bought the building that housed the diner, his apartment and the space next door. It wasn't until he talked to Lorelai that he realized there was potential there for something good.

It was days like these when he realized knowing Lorelai was both a blessing and a curse. She had a way of making him do things he would never otherwise consider doing. He wouldn't have put in the paperwork for that apartment without her influence, and he certainly wouldn't have bought the building without her words running circles in his head. That woman was dangerous.

Can't live above the diner forever, Luke.

Can't have a single bed, Luke.

You won't be alone forever, Luke.

God, she was annoying sometimes. But, he had to begrudgingly admit, she was right. The life he had created in his apartment above his diner was one that was not accessible. Hell, you couldn't even knock on his front door when the place wasn't open. He really was a hermit, and until Jess came along, that lifestyle had suited him just fine. It was only the total lack of privacy that had him looking for an alternative, and even then, he wasn't happy about it.

He didn't want to live anywhere else. This place was his connection to his father, and it was important to him to come home at night and see "Williams Hardware" on the door, his dad's photos on the wall, trophies belonging to both of them on every shelf and ledge. Maybe this place didn't speak to the average woman, but it represented everything that was important to him.

To Hell with what Lorelai said. If a woman didn't want the Luke Danes who lived in his dad's old office, he didn't want to be with her anyhow.

He sighed and took the shampoo bottle from the ledge and squeezed a generous amount into his palm, working it between his hands before lathering up. He closed his eyes and let the spray shower suds down his shoulders and chest, leaving him slick and soapy, as his mind travelled back to their tour through the apartment. He felt his face flush in remembrance of the way she had teased him, the tales she had spun about their life together as husband and wife.

He didn't know why he let her play those kinds of games with him. It wasn't the first time, and he knew it wouldn't be the last. Sometimes he thought it was just because he was the nearest male prospect that she used him in these ways. Other times he wondered if there was more to it, some latent desire she had to explore that kind of relationship with him. That seemed farfetched, though, as she kept him at a distance whenever she wasn't making up a long and detailed history of their romantic relationship.

These episodes had started just a few years after they met. Their friendship was growing deeper, Luke was starting to make minor repairs on her house, and she was coming into the diner on a daily basis for her coffee fix and to chat up the proprietor; or, at least, he liked to think he factored into her regular visits.

The first time it happened, he had been taken off guard, but he played along willingly. There was a guy in the diner who was putting the moves on Lorelai hard, and didn't seem interested in taking no for an answer.

XXXX

"Thanks, but I'm really not interested," Lorelai told the blond-haired putz.

"How do you know you're not interested? You don't even know me." He took a step closer to where Lorelai sat on her stool. She didn't shrink away, never one to let a guy get the best of her.

"You mind not breathing down my neck?" she attempted again.

"Not until you agree to go on a date with me." Luke sighed and took a step around the counter, preparing to get involved. He wasn't going to let this shit go down in his diner.

"Hey, buddy, she said no," he said firmly, stepping into their space. The guy eyed him, unfazed by his stature.

"Mind your own business, man," the guy shot back.

"This is my business," Luke countered.

"How's that?" his tone was laced with disrespect, which didn't do anything to endear him to Luke. He was about to follow-up, when Lorelai cut in.

"Because he's my boyfriend," she told the guy, cutting in before fists could start swinging. Luke looked at her confusedly for half a second before snapping into the role. He stepped in close behind her and put his hand on the counter in possessive show.

"Your boyfriend?" the guy asked, skeptically.

"Mhm! Going on, what, seven years, babe?" she asked, leaning back against Luke's chest.

"Just about," he confirmed. The guy looked between them, but seemed to come to the conclusion that she was unavailable. He turned to Luke, looking chagrinned.

"Sorry man, I didn't know. She didn't say anything."

"She told you no, repeatedly. You should be apologizing to her, not me," Luke spat back. The guy spared a glance at Lorelai, then back at Luke, before sputtering a weak "sorry" and making for the exit. Luke held his position until he felt Lorelai sigh and relax against him.

"Sorry about that," she muttered back to him. Luke backed away and rounded the counter again, going to stand across from her at a safer distance.

"No problem."

"Thanks for going along with it," she said, a grateful smile playing on her lips.

"Anytime."

XXXX

Luke hadn't realized when he made the offer that she would take it so seriously. The first few times it happened, it was a similar story. Some jackass wouldn't take no for an answer, and Luke was nearby. He never initiated it, but he allowed himself to sink into the role when she presented the opportunity to be of assistance.

Not that he minded playing make believe with Lorelai. Over the years they had perfected their story. They had been together close to a decade. They had twins at home – a girl, and a boy. They had a dog named Charlie and a cat named Felix, even though Luke was allergic to cats. The story was well worn after all of these years of friendship, and each time they used it, it seemed Lorelai added a new element, something to catch Luke off guard.

Once it was Luke's love child from a previous relationship that Lorelai had adopted as her own.

Another time it was Luke's love for painting, and all of the walls in their home were covered in murals – not to mention the nude portraits that hung in their master bedroom.

Her personal favourite, the one she dusted off most often, was Luke's original career as an ultimate fighter, only leaving the circuit when he was deemed too dangerous to continue in the sport.

Despite their ever-expanding fantasy, Luke really didn't mind letting Lorelai involve him in her efforts to dispatch men with haste. If anything, he appreciated seeing them slither away, knowing none of them would be getting her number, or anything else from her, and enjoying that he had something to do with that. It was a bit of a sick hobby of his to help crush the dreams of little men who thought they stood a chance with the beautiful Lorelai Gilmore.

But today was the first time Lorelai had played out their fantasy on someone who wasn't trying to put the moves on her, and that bothered him. That's not what he signed up for when he made that offer all those years ago.

Not to mention, the story she spun today was wildly different from the PG tales they'd told over the years. Gone were the kids and the pets and the murals. Here was a desirous wife and her oblivious husband who didn't appreciate what was standing right in front of him.

He didn't know why he played along. He really didn't. It was like muscle memory kicking in, not allowing him to simply say the words, "This woman is on a day pass from the local insane asylum, pay her no mind."

Luke sighed and leaned back against the cool tile wall of the shower, letting the water hit him from the waist down as he recalled the insanity from that afternoon.

XXXX

"Now, I went over the square footage and the details of the lease with your husband this morning. Did he fill you in?" Mary asked Lorelai.

Luke attempted to cut in, "What? Oh no, we're…"

"No, no, he didn't, but you know how men are. The minute that ball game comes on, all the realities of life just go right out the window!" Lorelai interrupted. She wrapped her arm through Luke's and pushed her body up against his.

"Don't I know it!" Mary exclaimed gamely.

"I mean, I could answer the door wrapped in cellophane but unless I was wearing a Yankees cap, he wouldn't even notice," Lorelai continued on.

"Geez," Luke grumbled. Lorelai leaned into him closer.

"Oh, don't be embarrassed Snuffy, I'm just teasing." She turned back to Mary, a wicked grin on her lips. "It'd be a Mets cap."

Luke finally cut in. "Hey Mary, could you possibly leave me and little missus alone for just a minute?" he asked with a nervous laugh. Mary smiled widely back at the pair.

"Why, of course."

"I promise we won't do anything dirty." Lorelai ran a finger down Luke's neck, which he attempted to bat away.

"Oh please, if my husband and I looked anything like the two of you, we'd never get dressed," Mary joked. Luke rolled his eyes, while Lorelai giggled and squeezed his arm.

"Oh, you are bad!"

XXXX

Luke felt himself stir, and looked down, finding his penis standing erect as it was battered by the shower spray, which only served to turn him on further.

"Oh for the love of…" he mumbled under his breath. He dropped his head back against the tile and closed his eyes, breathing deeply to try and tamp down his arousal, but he was assaulted by images of Lorelai standing naked in his bathroom wearing nothing but a Mets cap. "Not fair. So not fair."

"Come on, Snuffy. You know you want me." Her voice took on the same cloying tone it had during the tour. Luke shook his head trying to dispel the urge to reach down and take hold of his erection, only to hear her voice again.

"You want me to come in there with you?" she asked. "I can leave the cap on."

Luke sighed and opened his eyes, watching as the dark shower curtain pulled away and Lorelai stepped in. Her hair was curled and flowing over her shoulders, while the Mets cap was turned backward atop her head. She didn't seem to mind the spray that battered the heavy fabric as she came to stand in front of him, naked, streams of water running down her dewy skin.

"Ung, Lorelai," Luke said in a breath. He grasped himself and pumped a few times, feeling instant relief as his need throbbed in his hand.

"Let me," her voice came again. Luke watched as she got to her knees and took him in her hand, beginning to pump him vigorously. She watched him, her eyes seemingly alight with laughter, as her tongue slipped from between her lips and spun a circle around the sensitive head of his cock, causing his breathing to speed up.

She teased him like this for several moments, pumping him with her hand and slipping her wet tongue around the smooth skin of his head, building his desire but never pushing him over the edge.

"What do you want me to do?" she asked.

"Ung, suck me, Lorelai, please," he moaned aloud. His request was met with a broad smile, the kind that could make his heart stop. She took one last lick at his head before taking him fully into her mouth.

Luke moaned and tightened his grip on his cock, pumping it faster as the images played behind his eyelids.

Lorelai kept her eyes on Luke's as she worked her mouth over his hardness, taking him deeper and deeper with each stroke. She finally reached her maximum capacity, the tip of his cock hitting the back of her throat as she held herself down on him, swallowing around him, causing the most incredible sensations to shoot through his body. She sucked as she released him, and then dove back in for more.

Luke's hips jerked into his hand of their own volition as he pumped and squeezed in time to the fantasy playing in his mind.

Luke's hands went to the top of Lorelai's head, holding her steady on his cock as he began to thrust in and out of her mouth at a moderate pace, but the hat stood in the way between his fingers and her luscious hair, and he knew he needed to get rid of the barrier. He snagged it from her head and tossed it out of the tub, landing sopping wet on the floor as he dove his hands into her hair, grabbing it in handfuls and using it to guide her movements.

Lorelai seemed unaffected by Luke taking control. She began play with her breasts as he pulled her head in to meet each of his thrusts. He couldn't believe how good she was at this, how willing she was to let him manipulate her actions. She just continued to look up at him with those extraordinary blue eyes, moaning and sucking around him as he pleasured himself with her mouth.

"Fuck, Lorelai," Luke moaned aloud. He ran his palm over the head of his cock, before reclaiming his hold on it, and reaching down with his other hand to pleasure his balls.

Luke felt himself getting close – too close. And as much as he loved the idea of coming down the throat of this gorgeous, sexy, incredible woman before him, he couldn't let this end without burying himself deep inside of her. He needed to know what she felt like as she came around his cock.

He pulled himself out of her mouth and helped her to her feet, before taking possession of her mouth in a deep and needing kiss. It was almost violent in the way he claimed her, his hands grasping her by the upper arms as their teeth gnashed and tongues fought for dominance, sliding from her mouth, to his and back again.

Luke pushed up off the wall and turned them around, pushing her back into it with the mass of his body. Lorelai landed against it with a sexy little grunt, and pushed her hips into his erection, seeking the friction they were both desperate for.

Luke moved away from the wall and turned around so the spray was hitting his back. With one hand pumping away furiously, he leaned forward to brace himself against the wall he had just vacated, dropping his head down and clasping his eyes tightly shut. His breathing was picking up, shocks of pleasure were coursing through him. He was getting close, he knew. But he needed to let this fantasy play out.

Luke lifted Lorelai against the wall, holding her up with his arms under each of her knees, spreading her legs wide open as she waited, panting, for him to fill her completely. He took her in one hard thrust, bottoming out, feeling her walls contracting around him as she gasped and moaned at the most welcome intrusion.

Luke pulled out, only to thrust back in the same way, and then again, and again, setting up a pace that wasn't frantic, but hit hard nonetheless.

His name began to fall from Lorelai's lips as she gyrated on his cock, filling her in the most delicious way. Luke bit down on his lip to keep from crying out at the sensation of her body writhing against his, wet, wild and wanton.

"Oh Luke. Yes Luke," she cried as their hips met at the pinnacle of each stroke.

"Fuck, Lorelai," Luke groaned, feeling himself coming to his peak, attempting to stave it off to see her come apart first.

"Don't stop," Lorelai panted. "Oh god, don't stop."

Luke doubled his pace, pounding into her, her back making impact with the wall on each thrust. She began to shudder and shake around him, her walls tightening, her breaths coming out in shocked, desperate cries.

"Yes, Luke. Yes, fuck," she cried, her whole body quaked around him as she came. Luke could feel nothing but overwhelming tightness as she went.

Luke set Lorelai down, and she fell to her knees before him. She took hold of his cock, barely containing his climax, and began to squeeze and pump him until he came with a force he hadn't experienced in far too long. His seed covered her chest, and continued to come in spurts until he was milked completely dry.

Luke huffed quick, shallow breaths as his hand moved furiously over his cock. The muscles in his abdomen clenched and then seized as his seed shot out of him in an orgasm so powerful, it nearly crossed the line to pain.

He pried his eyes open, and blinked against the sudden intrusion of light. His hand still pumped his rapidly waning erection until it became too much to bear, and he let it slip from his fingers. He leaned forward and rested his head against his hand on the wall, trying to steady his breaths as he came down from his height.

The water began to cool against his back, an unsubtle reminder that he was just biding his time until he would have to return to his disaster of an apartment, his ungrateful nephew, and his unfulfilling friendship with the woman who starred in his most lurid and erotic fantasies.

He sighed and turned the water off, pulling the curtain open and grabbing a towel and forcing his mind to return to real life. He and Lorelai may pretend to be more, sometimes, but that's all it was. Probably, that's all it would ever be. He would just have to be okay with that.

A/N – Question for readers. I have a story based on the infamous "gut feeling" conversation almost finished. However, it deviates from canon significantly, so it doesn't really "belong" with the rest of this story. Would you like me to post it as the next chapter of this fic, or as a standalone piece? I'm open to either suggestion.

Next chapter will be one of these two options. You pick!

Option 1: Inspired by Episode 4.05 - The Fundamental Things Apply (Extremely AU)

LORELAI: Yeah, but dating is how you get to know your potential partner. It's the only way.

LUKE: There's the gut. I can tell if I'm comfortable with someone within seconds of meeting them. I feel it here. I felt it with Rachel. I felt it with Nicole. I was immediately relaxed.

Option 2: Inspired by Episode 6.01 - New and Improved Lorelai Gilmore

LORELAI: We should drink Zima and have sex every single night.

LUKE: OK.