Day 9
Hendrix Naben 18, District 1 Male
"I DON'T KNOW WHAT ELSE YOU WANT ME TO DO" I scream angrily
This is a mess one big fucking mess and now I look like a fool, a phoney
A coward
A failure
And it makes me angry, I just angrily swing my fist into the stone yelling in pain, yet the pain makes me human and I don't even feel human at the moment, everything I knew is just crushed, and now the Capitol would believe I'm some poser, some people pleaser that I faked my entire image and now I have been running around like some moron for the past four days looking for someone to murder
But I can't find anyway, I have screamed for something but I got nothing
All because of district two
I should of killed them, the second I took Alyse in the forest away from her brother I should of killed her, but instead I wanted to work so hard to keep this alliance together, and I did for Florian
Florian who didn't stick up for me at the start, questioned me and that's what hurts the most I feel as if he betrayed me, hated me, lied to me
Like my whole life was a lie
It hurts, this whole situation hurts, feeling is if I have nothing, sometimes I wish I stayed being a assassin, I wish I showed everyone that I was a killer instead of trying hard to be a good person, trying hard to be a tribute, not who I am
But who am I?
The way I acted in these games, showed I wanted power and I'm not like that and I hate myself for it but I wish, I wish I just murdered all of them, I murdered Alyse and her psychotic brother now, I'm hunting them and I'm going to show them what a real assassin is
I can take them, I'm not arrogant but I know their weakness I saw the fear in Campbell's eye, but once again my morals of not wanting to look like a villain caused me to trust Campbell and then the second I let his sister go, let the one person keeping him from doing something stupid go, he lashed out and took the only person I had or think I had, since clearly Florian didn't care for me as much as I thought
I can't just keep blaming people, the only person I have is to blame is myself, I was too arrogant, the power got to my head, the one thing they taught us in the institution was to take out your biggest enemies yet I followed the careers mind set about taking out the weak targets first then the strong, I tried to manipulate my allies, I was beginning to become arrogant
Campbell was right I am like Luca, deep down I wanted to kill, I wanted to be in control because control made me feel safe and secure, because deep down the only person I trusted was Markus and Florian bit clearly he was just using me and I want to know why
Why he could go to my aid, I did all that for him, because deep down I put him above my self, because I saw a side of him no one did now I'm questioning all of it questioning every thing it's final five, and I have to do seething to redeem myself I look like a fold in the capitols eyes
I just ran, ran from Griffen when I should of killed him or gone dr the twins, gone for them and slaughtered them made them suffer for betraying, but someone in the capitol hates me they fed my alliance a lie, a lie that ruined all of us and tore us a part a lie that made me the biggest fool of these games I haven't gotten a kill in says, I haven't seen someone in days
Cian, Alyse and Campbell I expected
But not Xander, Alyse was right she saw something in the boy I was expected his face in the sky the day after cohen's unless I go hunt him
I just sit down I need a plan, I need a aim, I look at my watch seeing three under deceased but the twins had been taken off, I have no idea where they are I have no idea what the hell Cian is doing or Xander
He seems like the easiest option, he is some boy from nine, a outer boy
What am I thinking, now I'm being arrogant, and arrogance is a mans flaw, maybe I'm not mentally ready for the games the pressure got to me, having ti be someone I'm not I haven't been a assassin for 8 years yet I still have felt with kill kill kill, I'm annoyed I haven't killed someone for so long and that isn't right
It isn't safe going dr the twins as much as I want to make them suffer they are together, and Cian
I don't like the unknown and Cian is the unknown, but I know the caption must hate me for making up some time, I should of just slig her throat, Florian was as good as dead yet I panicked I put his life ahead if my gain and now he is dead, four are dead and the twins are still alive as I haven't done anything since I ran away like a coward
"JUST GIVE ME SOMETHING" I scream throwing a rock at a silver building
Hang on
That's wasn't there a second ago, what the fuck, but considering this arena seems like the size of district one and I have literally played a game of cat and mouse with the twins who I don't even know where the fuck they are, maybe I finally found something, I walk over, opening the door and gripping my sword just in case and a smirk appears on my face a control room, with screens, a map and data about each living tribute
This could be very useful, to determine my next move, My eyes fall to the map and I raise an eyebrow, the two dark blue dots aren't together yet one dot is with the dark grey, I look closer and seeing a small F on the dot with the Dark grey
Alyse is with Xander?
I must be seeing things
And literally in the opposite side of the arena from Campbell who is a lot closer to me then I thought while Cian is the closer to Alyse and Xander but not too closer, the fuck
I just rub my eyes thinking that I saw something wrong but when I look up at the screens and see Campbell just destroy some house screaming his head off looking absolutely ballistic something happened
Some shit happened, the screen with Alyse and Xander is too dark to make out meanwhile Cian is just lounging by a fire reading the book of painful deaths like he doesn't care that he is in the hunger games, I could just sneak in and slice his head off but it's Cian, the serial killer he wouldn't be that stupid, I put my head phones on when I see a small light in the building Alyse and Xander in as it looks Xander is looking at something
"You know if you want me to help you, you could just tell me where they are" Alyse says
"I don't trust you and like I said we aren't allies, so not yet, I may never trust you" He growls
Then why is she with him?
Why hasn't he killed her?
I then walk over to the tribute status area looking at the dead tributes first, Campbell killed Mia and Cillian after our split, Alyse killed Griffen, Cian killed Cohen and Xander killed Kieran
Maybe the kid isn't useless, he has the same amount of kills as me, Precious Alyse too, I walk over to the alive screen looking at the male section first
Looking at Campbell
Kills: 5
Health Status: 100%
Mental Status: 5%
Status: Alive but loosing grip of reality, Currently alone
Likelihood of winning: 26%
Capitol popularity: 17%
District popularity: 6%
Well someone has been a busy boy and if his separated from his sister no wonder he is like that, but why are they separated
I next look at Cian
Kills: 4
Health Status: 100%
Mental Status: 97%
Status: Alive and Well, Currently alive
Likelihood of winning: 50%
Capitol Popularity: 10%
District popularity: 0%
I burst out laughing zero serves him right how ever I don't know how he can be seen as alive and well
I next look at Xander
Kills: 2
Health Status: 100%
Mental Status: 17%
Status: Alive, Loosing Mental Stability each minute, Emotionally Unstable, Currently a captor
Likelihood of winning: 4%
Capitol Popularity: 25%
District Popularity: 30%
Currently a captor?
Hang on I think I know what the kid is doing
I look at Alyse
Kills: 2
Health Status: 100%
Mental status: 49%
Status: Alive, Emotionally breaking, Currently a captive
Likelihood of winning: 2%
Capitol popularity: 40%
District popularity: 60%
Interesting so Xander has taken her as a hostage, shit I wish I thought of that now his popularity is rising because he has made a hard choice which gives the capitol entertainment plus he is loosing his sanity and everyone loves Alyse but I don't, I guess targeting those two can't happen so it's either Campbell or Cian
I looking at my section
Kills: 3
Healthy Status: 100%
Mental Status: 88%
Status: Alive and well, Currently alone
Likelihood of winning: 18%
Capitol Popularity: 8%
District Popularity: 4%
I just clench my fists, they hate me I can't blame them I look like a phoney, a coward, I ran from a fight, I manipulated the capitols sweet heart, and I don't have a story, I ran from the career fight, I killed three weak tributes, I need to do something to show I'm worthy because that's what they want. they don't want robots to win, which is why Alyse and Xander are so popular
Let the boy from 9 Kill Alyse, if I kill Campbell then she wouldn't want to live, he will kill her and I will be one step further but why is he holding her captive
To lure Campbell in a trap?
To kill Cian?
To kill me?
She said I am helping you which means that, it must be Cian Or me
Time to hunt down baby twin
He looks completely off his tree right now it would be easy, or I play mind tricks with him, that's something we were taught but I don't want to seem like a copy cat of Luca he manipulated Maverick to turn against Caelyn well he tried and maybe it did work but I haven't done as much as him, the second the careers broke off my story was destroyed, and I spent days wallowing and wondering what the fuck just happened
Florian
It makes me angry knowing he betrayed me I feel like a piece of shit at the moment, but I need to win, I need to start a new life for myself, no more hiding, no more running, I have to be a killer to get out of here, I need to show them I'm not some wannabe I'm not some phoney that I can be a cold hearted killer, I kill baby twin Alyse wouldn't handle it Xander will put her down out of mercy then I hunt down Cian, then I take out the boy from 9 that simple
Or I join Alyse and Xander to kill Cian and once that is done I stab both of them in the backs and handle a broken baby twin
But Campbell is closest to me he is vulnerable I need to make a move now or I will be the next to fall, if I kill Campbell, while Alyse and Xander are able to kill Cian
Xander will kill her
Then it's me and him and I should beat him easily that's the best case scenario
But nothing good has happened to me these games
And I need to hope for that, I walk outside my heart pulsing against my chest or I can just hide again deep down I want to but I know I can't, this is my moment, my moment to show them I'm not a copy cat, I'm not a coward that I can be my own person
I made mistakes in these games mistakes that I won't be able to live with and it's my turn to make the move, to roll the dice if I die, I die but I want to go down fighting
I am no coward but I know deep down I am, I ran from the institution, I kept running from my problems because I didn't want to be a killer, I didn't want to be like luca but here I am
Final 5 and I'm not ready to die, I'm not ready to let district two in, I hate them the both of them and I want them dead, I need them dead
"Hendrix"
I jump when I meet eyes with Campbell not realising how close he was, he looks calm at the moment, but I need to tread carefully like I did the entire time with him "Where is your sister" I say
He flinches "I lost her" he says quietly
"You lost her, funny thing is I bumped in to her earlier" I say
He steps closer, it's dangerous to make him angry at the moment his calm, but anger will conflict him, if he thinks his sister hates him he won't have anything to live for I can kill him "When" he says he hasn't looked up at me apart from the beginning his looking at the ground shivering
Completely terrified I grip my sword maybe just I should just put him out of his misery, throw a knife his skull like how Alyse threw one to Theon there is no point making him suffer "Yesterday, she is allied with Xander, said she was trying to get away from you, that you hurt her more ways then one, said she hopes you died" I say
A strangled cry comes from his lip as I grip my knife, my heart pounds against my chest "I didn't mean what I said I didn't mean to hurt her" he whispers
So they did split, I don't believe minute they got lost "She doesn't want you anymore Campbell, she is better of without you" I say
He stills looks at the ground looking at his hand as I grip a throwing knife "No, I need her, she needs me, I didn't mean to say that I wish she was dead, I didn't mean , the stupid secret hurt me, said she lied to me for years but she did it because I'm broken mess she tried to help me" he says quietly
I step closer
This seems to easy but I need to take it "She doesn't want you anymore" I whisper
The knife flies from my hand but he ducks out of the way looking at me with a ballistic look in his eyes "YOU FUCKING LIAR" he yells
Fuck that did not go to plan, he lunges at me like a manic little dog as I just step out of the way swinging my sword as he blocks it with one his sword "I'm going to kill you" he growls
"Not if I kill you first" I say
But with the look in his eyes I know it won't be easy
Campbell Balson 16, District 2 Male
Anger, confusion, Blood-thirst feel me as I growl bearing my teeth at Hendrix which does get him to shudder a little, his a afraid of me and he should be, the only thing I have left now is finding my sister to apologise but I can't find her and it's driving me crazy
And the hooded figure keeps telling me she is dead but I would know if she is dead, she is my twin, my other half
I would know if she is dead and I know her better then this blonde moron would think, Alyse is the most forgiving person you would meet, I know my words would hurt her but she wouldn't just give up on me, I know she wouldn't
He swings at me and I block his swing, I practised with sword at home because I liked the long blade but I kept that skill to my chest, when we were in the academy I did use a sword not brass knuckles but Owen taught me how to use this weapon because I liked beating and clawing people and things
I was animal, without my sister I feel like the stability is gone "YOU RUINED EVERYTHING" I yell swinging at him again but he dodges my blow a bit of fear in his eyes, I hate him, I hate him so much and I'm going to make him suffer for everything he did, I wasn't looking for him I was trying to look for Alyse but I couldn't find her
Instead I found Hendrix and I knew I had to relax and act vulnerable because I knew he was a sly dog, he never cared about any of us because he is a assassin "It wasn't the truth" he growls
"LIAR" I growl
"You two were the ones that backstabbed us, you two are nothing but deceitful little runts" he says
I swing at him again and he blocks, I want to skin and cut him too pieces but I know the more time I spend with him the less I have to look for my sister "Was it true "I ask
Yelling when he cuts my leg and I stumble slightly slamming into him as he stumbles back and I swing at his hip "No I promise" he says
I just growl swinging and he blocks it as I step back, we are in a small concrete court yard at the moment and my hands shake the anger coming back as he swings at my stomach and I wince in pain, but pain makes me angry, I swing again and he attacks and it's getting to my nerves
"What did happen between you and blondie" he says as we just keeping swinging at each other I know he is trying to tire me and I need to disarm him so I could torture him like the fucking dog he is but I still hear the screaming and it's getting to me I scream when I see another lizard on the ground
"LEAVE ME ALONE" I growl swinging my sword at it over and over again as I feel something enter my back and he looks at me
"Nothing is there you whack job" he says I throw myself back as he stumbles to the ground, his right it's gone, it wasn't real
"DON'T CALL ME A WHACK JOB YOU LIAR" I yell swinging my sword at him and he yells when it sliced to his chin, he growls lunging at me and I barley block his attack as the screaming gets louder and I wimped when he cuts my leg and I feel my self trip down and he knocks me to the ground I swing my sword at him but he just slams his sword into my arm as the fire burns
I like pain, I like blood, he kicks my sword away stepping on my wrists as I just to get up but he pushes his boot on my stomach as I panic, no I won't die, I won't die I can't my sister
My sister needs me I look up to see the sword hanging above my throat "I wonder if you have a heart in there" he says presses the sword against my chest as I growl at him but he easily holds me down
"Please I can't die I need my sister" I yell
"Don't worry she is next" he says
I just growl when he says that forcing my self up as he falls off me in shock them all of a sudden our swords disappear
The fuck
But it does matter, I just throw myself on his back as he falls on his stomach and I grip him by his short blonde hair slamming his chin into the concrete over and over again as he tried to push him off but I was always taller and stronger then him and I'm angry, the man in the hood watches me and I need to give him a show so he spares me
"What did you say ha WHAT DID YOU SAY" I growl in his ear slamming his chin into the concrete again as he tries to shoves me off as I easily pin him down wrapping a arm around his neck as I lean to his ear
"I'm sorry" he whispers, I just hold him tighter
"Fuck you, FUCK YOU" I yell as he winces when I pull tighter but I close my eyes, like with Mia I need to keep in control, I need to punish him for messing with me, this is all his fault
It's his fault Alyse and I split up not mine it is his fault
His fault
I open my eyes bearing my teeth again as I step up and he tries to swing a knife at me but I grab his wrist twisting it in my grip as I just kick him in the stomach wrapping my arms around his back, and bringing him to the ground with me
He tried to push me off but I just sink my teeth in his neck as he screams in shock and I easily grab his wrists I just choke when I get a bit of his skin and blood in his mouth as I just spit in his face and he just sneers at me but I see the defeat and doom in his eyes, he knows I won, he knows he will suffer and he deserves it
I just press one of his hands under my knees as he grip his other one "Where is she" I ask
"Fuck you" he says he just yells in pure shock as I bring out a big knife, a big, big knife, my favourite big knife and use it right cut his arm off as I flinch at the scream and the agony is written on his face as I cover his mouth
"Not so big and try aren't you Hendrix" I whisper again I don't know what's taken over with me, I don't see him as a toy to play with unlike Mia I see him as the boy I hate so much and I want him to suffer so much, I hate him, but I steady my breathing he knows where Alyse is I have to find her
Why would she allie with Xander, those two hated each other I don't believe that one second, she is my sister, she wouldn't allie with someone else, because she mine
No she isn't
She is her own person, she can have her own friends too but the thought of her putting her trust in another boy while I barely know what to do hurts, she wouldn't allie with someone else I know she will look for me, she will find me so I can say sorry because I didn't mean what I said I was hurt and shocked but the way I am now it scares me, I'm hearing screams I am seeing things, I tried to read a book yesterday and it wasn't in English and I panicked and every book wasn't in English the signs that I use to read wasn't in English and it's scary, really scary
I move my hand and he looks at the stump as I just cut his other arm off shoving my fist down his throat "FEEL THAT, FEEL THAT" I yell as he looks at me pain in his eyes
It's so beautiful the stump the blood gushing from his arm like a river, I choke out why am I feeling this way I'm not a bad person
"I'm not a bad person" I whisper as I just slap his face when his eyes daze off and I put my brass knuckles on just bringing it up and down his face as I move my hand
"On the other side of the arena" he whispers
I just keep clawing his cheek just using my other hand to jam into his shoulder brining it up and down as I see the four claw marks in his shoulder "Is she with Xander" I say
"She isn't his allie" he says softly
I growl at him leaning closer, we did use to beat boys for information at home, that's how the inner circle worked we were criminals and I liked beating people yet I was never this bloodthirsty
It was the medicine and if she didn't give it to me I may have been killed "He has her as his hostage that's all I know I don't know where they are but that's all I know" he says
Something crashes, no he can't, he can't touch her I'm going to murder him I'm going to kill him so bad but first I need to deal with Hendrix, I want to play with him more make him suffer, but deep down I know I need to find my sister, who knows what Xander wants with her, the last time, the last time someone took her from me and kept her was Henry and I know he did things that I don't even understand what if Xander is going that to her, what if he kills her
My hands shake as Hendrix slowly dazes of but I just back hand him "Where is Cian" I ask
"Closer to them, he isn't doing much" he says
I look at my claws and his mangled shoulder as I just rest my hands on his shoulder digging my knees deeper in his side, I just take my brass knuckles off steadying my breathing
Kill this thing, then find my sister all I want to do is to find, knowing she is danger, knowing she may be dying, thinking I hate her it breaks me right the core, and I don't I'm not even close or hating her, yes I was upset but I didn't mean those words I was just
Shocked but I get why she would run, why she would try to hide from me, why she would be hurt what I said to her, is the worse thing you could say to a sibling I almost threw the twins charm away that's how upset I was but I have it back on my neck
No one understands our bond and I'm barely keeping it together, we never have been apart this long "Any last words" I say clamping my cold and bloody hands around his neck
"It wasn't true" he says as I clamp harder
"I don't care you are still a monster" I whisper and monsters deserve to go to hell with all my strength I snap his neck to the side
BOOM
I just get off his body feeling nothing as panic floods me "XANDER, XANDER" I yell
I just run trying to find her, I want my sister, I want my sister "XANDER LET HER GO" I yell as tears flood my eyes as I just drop on the grass as the rain starts pour washing some blood on me
I can't handle this, what if he kills her
What if Hendrix was lying and next second she comes back but why would she come back after what I said, maybe Hendrix was right and she is better without me, I hold her back that's what I have done all my life, I have held her back and made her not being able to live the life she wants for me, I'm a stain in her life and maybe I'm better dead and buried but if I die I need to fell her I need to her one more time and give a hug and tell her that what is ai wasn't feud and that I will never and can ever hate her because she means the world to me, she is my only family member the only family member I have
Better don't understand the bond between twins, it's special and unique and there aren't many if any mixed gender twins, twins in panem are rare and stupid little me the stupid animal ruined it, I told her I hated her and I could never do that, if she could forgive and ignore me, the sadistic boy, all the bad things I have done the person I am then I can give the fact she lied to me even if it hurts, the medicine made feel normal, so what normal, now I can't read English I still here this faint screaming I fucked up in the head and I feel evil and bloodthirsty and I never wanted to be a band person
I wanted to be a good guy, I looked up to Alyse even if she was younger even if she was angry as a little girl and would rips head of her dolls and rip up the pink dressed out parents gave her, even if she wanted to be like one of the boys and play with steel and make weapons, even if she wanted to make bullets instead of being a teacher or what ever the fuck women do
She was a good person though, she would respect people and was curious about the adventure of life not what dead animals look like, and when she grew up, when we grew up and had to leave home she was strong, she stood up for her self she didn't let trauma effect her I know if it wasn't for her I wouldn't be in the inner circle they only took me be as they wanted her
I would be dead without her, and she shows you can be a strong girl and a good person at the same time and I wanted to for so long be like that but I couldn't, I stand up flinching when a parachute lands a change of clothes and a sword, I look at the note '8{2 jshdduie sgdidiidha fodihdbre 'dhegry udieia sheirihs )#3)$7$(4'
What the hell, I just rub my eyes whimpering
Why can't I why can't I see it, why can't I read properly I just cry out wanting something bad to read but I can't, because I'm broken mess, I remember I couldn't read when I was really little, that's why mother and father hated me more because they wanted the perfect son and daughter and neither of us gave it to us
That's why Alyse chose me at least I love her, I stood by her and now she would be wishing she got me killed because I deserved to be dead, I was the one who should of never been born
Xander Clark 18, District 9 Male
I just jump in shock as the cannon booms, the first noise in hours, as both of us just sit in silence in complete darkness
Not that there is much for us to talk about, she hates me, I hate her
It happened the second she backstabbed me in the bloodbath
Alyse has only really spoke to ask me to loosen the ropes, question my motives, or to look at my tracker but I don't trust her, reason why I'm sitting directly next to her, reason why I took all her and weapons and reason I tied her hands up, even if it makes me look like a monster
Even if deep down it doesn't feel right, he has to die, my hatred for Cian, for the capitol keeps growing plus as harsh as it when I wanted to relief my anger I have her to hit or stab to take my anger out, and she just growls at me but doesn't say anything, I hate her for trying to kill me and all these plots about what I can do to her, what I can do to show them I'm a worthy victor are building in my head but I am a boy of my word and if she helps be defeat the he-demon I will fight, and I will give her a ultimatum if I win
If
I don't even know how we could beat Cian, certainly not with her hating me, we did connect in the hovercraft ride, we are both similar but then she broke most trust and now it's hard to look at her the same
Hard to look at myself the same, I'm fragments of myself and in my mind I want to cause murder and death, I am thirsty for blood and all I want to do is win, I can barely sit still, my hands are shaking and all I want to do is hide in the darkness, I want to drown but I don't want to die not when I have gone through so much in these games, not when I have been so close to ending my life, not when I have been so close to crawling in a ball and dying because that's all I want to do is crawl in a ball and die but I can't, for once in my life I'm so close to success
So close to a better life one that I can't ruin, one that I can live safe and happy
But can I really handle being victor?
I close my eyes as I see Cohen's body or I see the doll of Camden screaming at me and it makes me angry, makes me violent to the point I want to strangle the younger girl next to me but deep down I just want to burst into tears, yet having her here even if she looks at me with resentment, has venom in her voice when we speak, I just don't know if want to live past this, live being alone but then I put my hands in my pockets and feel Cohen's token and I want to live for him want a new life where, I can help make my district a better place and I don't have people avoid me like I'm some manic killer
"It was Hendrix" I say when I look at my tracker, she looks at me and I just shove the tracker in her face for a few seconds then I take it away
"He is walking the wrong way" she whispers
"Or he doesn't want to find you" I shrug
"Go fuck your self" she says
I just swing my fist at her nose as my hand shakes my anger is getting worse "You so close Alyse, this close" I growl
"Go on kill me then, if you are so fucking confident you can fight Cian on your own, if you can fucking just trust me I wouldn't be this angry" she says
"Funny thing is I don't trust you" I say just pushing my forehead against her as I pull away and we go back to sitting in silence, I am taking a risk I know that, she knows that, we can both die any second and if we do kill Cian, she could stab me in the back but I want him dead, and even if I put myself down minute after minute
I know I can't beat him alone, not when he can play mind games with me but there is something about this girl, she is more hostile like me she is almost shaking, something happened "I want us to understand each other and maybe I will change my judgement of you" I say
I think she looks at me but it is so dark, it is a risk having all the lights off but her hands are tied her my shoulder is pressing against hers, her other shoulder pushed into the wall I would know if she tried to attack but she hasn't tried because, she knows going alone won't work and maybe deep down she doesn't want to find her brother
Me having her is a excuse for her for not finding him
I wouldn't, he is a freak but I guess I never had siblings or family that loved me
Deep down I spite everyone that does but I threw it away my parents died after I was thrown out because I beat a boy to death and deep down I enjoyed it just like how I feel absolutely nothing about killing Kieran, no guilt no nothing and that isn't normal and deep down it scares me, that I am feeling that way because emotions make you human and before Camden died I use to feel guilt and sympathy but now I feel nothing
And that isn't normal "What do you want to know" she says quietly, I turn my torch on so now I can see her face clearly and she can see mine as we look at each other
We could of been friends in the outside she is almost like a female version of Camden but more reserved in a sense it makes me hate her more, I know if we kill Cian I have to be her killer but maybe if learn more about her I will feel guilt
I will feel human
Myren said during his games he didn't feel guilt but afterwards the wounds started to split open
"Why did that doll scar you so much, why did you get the leather band, it took me 8 years to get mine, because I got rid of my bully, I was the hero in their eyes, I know that they don't give it to girls for just beating someone, I am shocked they gave it to a girl in general" I say just looking at the leader band on her wrist
"His name was Henry, he was a serial killer" she says I just move my hands until I slam a knife in her leg and she winces, I have stabbed her a few times but just shallow the cuts Myren gave me more medicine but he told me if I kill I need to be creative that they don't want a Aden copy cat
"He was a teenage serial killer, he would ambush lone girls and drag them into a basement, he wanted someone to fit his fantasy, so he tested them, I was one of those girls" she whispers to the point I can barely hear her
"What was the tests, mind games, how tough you are" I say
"You really don't understand your own gender don't you" she says
"What happened" I say again, I don't pity this girl, I respect but I lost my parents too, I lived in a orphanage too, I don't fall for her sudden broken emotions yes and her brother fought but there is something more and I'm going to get to the bottom of it, to make sure I'm not putting trust in a snake
"I was with him for 26 hours, he Uh" she leans to my ear quietly saying the taboo words as I look a little stunned I won't even repeat the word because it is taboo for a reason, and I almost hug her because of it because we don't condone that in nine none of us street boys did, the capitol don't either but I don't, I can't show her I feel bad for her because emotions like that it can be used against me
Trauma caused me to be the boy who I am today, the constant bullying, the beatings made me a shell now it's made me hateful but I never experienced it that bad but as usual I need to put my cold mask on "How did you escape" I ask
"Self defence 101 against a male gouge them in a eye and kick them where it hurt" she says
I just chuckle "Did the same thing to my bully" I say
"That's why I got my band, and just seeing the doll brought back those bad nightmares" she says I pul in almost hugging her again but I stop I can't show emotions
Emotions are weak
Like me
"Was that the first time" I ask, she leans to my ear again Cleary she doesn't want the capitol to know I can't blame her, they will pity her more, doing that is sick, it's dog and I know the capitol know the same that crime is the only crime the youth law doesn't protect you even some rebellious acts wouldn't get a kid killed
"10 orphan boys did it a few day ago, with Henry it was worse" she whispers I just put my hand on her shoulder
"I can't believe they would let that happen" I say
"I didn't tell the district about the first incident, my brother killed half of them anyways, that's why I understand you feeling at your lowest point that's why I tried to kill you, you threaten me you still do and I know we can't be friends I know the second Cian is dead we become enemies and I'm okay with that" she says
"Thank you, but it doesn't change anything it can't, I still don't trust you because I know if I was in your position the second you cut the ropes and the he demon isn't around you would run or you would stab my back, I know you don't want to do this but if I do kill you, I will feel guilt" I say
"I don't want pity I never did I hate that I'm looking like this capitol sweet heart this hero, because I am a tough girl, because of my brother, if you want to kill me slowly do it" she says
I raise eye brow and I know what she means and I nod, any chance for her to see her brother again, even if it means she is bleeding out but I still don't trust her I see it in her eyes, she will help me kill Cian but what happens after may not be what I planned, I just sit back next to her looking at the knife in my hand, part me is screaming to take her out now then try to fight Cian alone but I can't fight him alone I know that and I don't think Campbell will help me if I kill his sister and the only person who might have in Hendrix is dead
She will be mine to kill if we defeat Cian, if I defeat her
If
And that's one big If but unlike her I don't have a brother, Camden was like a brother even Cohen and they are both dead and here I am the pathetic boy still alive while others died
I ever thought I would make it this far, final four it feels odd, I stand up as she looks at me "We need to move just in case, it's freezing in here anyways and we both need some rest" I say
Pulling her up and turning my torch on "Can you not turn off all the light next time, I'm not a fan of the dark" She says
"I will keep the torch on" I say as she just sighs and I grip onto her, even if maybe I do have more understanding towards her and the fact that I am doing this to her does make me feel guilt, I have to, I am the hero, I can never be the hero, and we need to kill the villain
Then I have to kill the twins
That's if I want to win, I don't know if I do but I don't want to die it's that simple, it's life or death that is the important thing to me not riches, not fame, we walk out the sky getting darker as I see some sort of laser tag building what ever the fuck that is I just stare at her tilting my head
"No we didn't have that in two" she snaps
"Sorry" she mumbles
"You guys had guns though" I say
"I was a bullet crafter, we did make laser guns how ever" she mumbles
"Like fatal laser guns" I ask
"No, it would just activate something" she mumbles as we walk in and similar to the cinema a slightly darker lobby area with a few arcade games as she flinches but I ignore her and a counter, I pull her towards the door as we make it in some waiting area with seats a screen and hooks with guns and vests I just shove her in the corner, taking out another piece of rope and tying it on the hook so she has room to lie down "Really" she says
"I'm tired, you are tired and why the fuck is it so cold in here" I yell just kicked something as the door opens and I jump
Anger does help sometimes as I take out a few blankets turning the light off again but there is a small neon blue light as I make sure the doors are locked happy the room locks from the inside as I just throw the blanket over her and she glares at me and I move next to her giving her a little move space this time mainly because what she told me but still sharing the same blanket as I push her head on the ground "Go to sleep" I say
She opens her mouth and I raise an eyebrow "Don't scream at me if I have a nightmare" she mumbles as I just keep my back against the wall
"Back at you" I mumble as once again silence fills the room, as I just pull another blanket over me as I don't want to lay down just in case she or someone comes in and the little thing needs more sleep then me anyways
She isn't a thing maybe I am feeling more pity for the girl, I guess I don't expect that to be her traumatic story, yet my whole life is a traumatic story or maybe I need to stop whinging about my life maybe I need to fix some belief in my self, it's final 4
20 tributes died including big dogs like Kieran and Hendrix yet I am still here, the boy no one expected and victory is so close I can almost touch it yet do I really want it, could I kill three tributes including Alyse, yes but maybe I won't feel nothing
I want to feel guilt, I don't want to feel hollow, I hate feeling hollow again it's a story is a story of my life
Deaths
5th: Hendrix Naben, District 1 Male- Killed By Campbell Balson, District 2 Male