Maxwell held the pruning shears as he knelt beside the large flowerpot that was in the garden. When arriving at Skyhold, his sister had promised everyone that she would try to make everyone comfortable. It would not just be a sanctuary for mages to learn or a training area for templars. She wanted it to be a refuge for anyone that wanted to come there. There were still rules that needed to be followed by all that was there. He found comfort in the peace, the tranquility of it. And most of all, safety.

The Ostwick Circle was not perfect, but it was safer than many of the Circles that Maxwell knew about. The Kirkwall Gallows was more familiar to him since it was in the Free Marches. The White Spire in Orlais was another. Maxwell had wanted to travel there to learn but had never been able to convince his father to let him leave. His father insisted that he would follow in his uncle and cousins' footsteps and become senior enchanters as they were. He knew if he had wanted it, he could have done it. The skill and the magic were there but he lacked the desire to do so. Being a faceless member of the crowd was enough for Maxwell.

Skyhold was different. Many of the mages here looked for a safe refuge from the fighting outside the walls. They were apostates but ones that needed the comfort of having the protection of Skyhold but the liberty to move around as they desired. His sister provided that.

"I hope you do not plan on leaving Bortin in charge of watching your garden any time soon again," a woman's voice said from overhead.

Turning his head, Maxwell smiled when he saw Lysette standing over him. She was dressed in her armor, shield on her back with her sword at her side. Smiling, he shook his head.

"No. I've learned my lesson to keep him as far away as possible from the gardens or anything important." He turned back to gather the herbs that he was collecting and placed them in the small basket that was sitting on the ground next to him before standing up. "I think Fiona has him cataloging rocks or something. Maybe it was molds and fungus."

The templar recruit looked at him curiously. "Molds and fungus?"

Nodding, Maxwell's smile grew. "Yes. You'd be surprised how many potions and elixirs require molds and fungus. Some molds are particularly useful in healing. Fungus provide a variety of – "

She wore a sour look on her face as she stuck out her tongue. "Eww…" She waved her hand in front of him. "That is much more than I need to know, Lord Trevelyan."

"Please. It is Maxwell. Or just Max."

Lysette looked at him briefly before smiling as she nodded her head. "Maxwell it is. Then please call me Lysette."

The mage smiled. Gripping his basket, he was afraid she would see his hands sweating. He was nervous as he usually was around her. "Are you on patrol tonight?"

"Just finished." She lifted her fist to point her thumb over her shoulder. "I was actually on my way to my quarters to remove this armor. Then I was going to go over to the Herald's Rest for a couple of drinks."

Maxwell just nodded his head slowly, not sure what to say. He did not understand why he felt so uncomfortable around the woman. When he first met her, it was in Haven right before the explosion at the Temple of Sacred Ashes and they had been able to talk easily. After they had reached Skyhold he would get nervous, embarrassed to speak to her. Just like now.

"If you're not busy," she said as she looked at him. "I'd be happy if you'd join me."

His eyes widened slightly as he looked at her. At first he thought he was hearing things or that she was joking. The look on her face told him she was serious.

"If you're busy I can understand you not coming," she said when he did not answer.

"I'd like to," he blurted out. "I…uh…" He looked down at his basket then returned his gaze to hers. "I need to return this to the mage's tower. But I could meet you after that."

Lysette nodded. "Good." She took several steps backwards, smiling. "I'll see you soon. At the Rest."

"I look forward to it."

Maxwell watched her turn and walk away. Smiling he waited until she was out of sight before he took off in a sprint out of the garden. He was not going to waste any time getting back to the mages' tower to dispose of his basket, clean up and get to the Rest.

o-o-o-o-o-o

"Stop!" she screamed as she looked at the mage. Her sword was buried deep in the demon that charged at her. Its claws swiping at her as she pushed her shield against it to prevent it from reaching her. "You don't have to do this!"

The mage stretched his staff arm out and his other arm, pointing at her. The blue gem at the top of the staff glowed brighter as the mage weaved his spell. Blood dripping from his forearm where he had slashed it. "You will not win!"

The demon began to dissipate as she pulled her sword from it. She felt the pushback from the mage. The wall of ice coming out of the ground like spikes. Swiping her sword against the spikes, she used her shield to bash against it. The mage's rage growing as he released a scream. His staff blade came up as if the mage were using it as a polearm. He charged at Evelyn as she pressed her boots against the ground to prepare to block.

"Die!" the mage screamed as he charged at her.

Putting her weight into her shield, she felt the blade strike her shield as she lifted her sword to attempt to disarm the mage. The sharpened blade ripped through the staff and into the lower abdomen of the mage. Evelyn found herself staring into the glowing eyes of the mage as her blade pierced the body.

The red glow that the mage stared at her faded to green. His face distorted as she pushed her shoulder against the mage, her blade deepened into the mage's abdomen. Her heart pounded in her ears as she held her breath. The eyes staring back at her, his hair color, the face. It was like staring into a mirror.

"Max…" her voice barely above a whisper.

The mage grasped at her breastplate, pulling her closer as he fell to the ground. "Sister…" he said. His eyes never leaving hers. "Why?"

She woke up with a start. Her body shivering, hands trembling as she tried to catch her breath. Her widened eyes looked down at the palms of her hands expecting to find them covered in blood but nothing. Even the mark of her left hand was absent. Gripping the sheets beneath her, she closed her eyes tight to try to will her heart to slow down again. Her breathing slowed; her heart began to ease its quickened pace. It did not feel her heart was going to burst in her chest or eardrums will explode.

Looking around the room, she found herself in her quarters. The sun was setting on the horizon outside her bedroom. Inhaling deeply, she held her breath briefly before releasing it again. Several more times she did this before opening her eyes again.

This was a new dream, a new nightmare for her to be haunted by. The nightmare that had kept her awake at night was revisiting Redcliffe Castle. Each time it grew darker, more frightening. It seemed to twist more each time it pulled her in. But tonight, was a new fresh inferno for her to face.

Getting out of bed, she grabbed clothes from her dresser and got dressed as quickly as she could. A pair of leather leggings, oversized tunic, knee-high boots and a long, fur lined cloak. She needed to go for a walk, to clear her mind. She needed to do something that would ease the pain she felt.

Once she was downstairs, she entered the main hall to make her way towards the garden. Maybe sitting outside in a place of solitude would help her. But her feet lead her out on the courtyard. Staring at the large, wooden gates at the entrance of Skyhold she contemplated throwing a saddle on her horse and riding off as fast as she could with no direction. The path at night was never an easy one even if using torches. If she were planning to runaway it would need to be done at daybreak.

"Thinking about running?" Cassandra asked as she stepped up beside her.

Pulling the cloak tighter around her body, Evelyn blew out a heavy breath. "Have you ever considered it? I mean, just running away and finding a new life for yourself?" She turned to look at the Seeker and laughed. "Never mind. I know your answer would be no, Cass."

"Don't be too sure, Inquisitor," Cassandra said, looking at her. "I am sure that many of us have felt like that a time or two when things have been difficult."

Evelyn pushed back her hair from her face, wishing that she had at least brushed it before leaving her room. She could only imagine how she looked. Cassandra motioned with her head to encourage Evelyn to follow her. They remained silent until they reached the armory. Evelyn knew Cassandra kept a small room in the upper level of the building where she worked from.

Once inside, Evelyn quickly found a spot beside the fire to warm herself. "I need to apologize for what happened at the Approach. I lost control and –"

"There's no need," Cassandra said as she removed her gloves and sat them on the small desk in the back of the room. "You do not need to apologize for anything."

Evelyn turned to face her, pulling her cloak tighter around her body. "Yes, I do. I let my rage, my anger got the best of me and I almost triggered the mark. Maker only knows what would have happened if I done that."

"You were angry and rightfully so," Cassandra said as she walked back to where Evelyn sat and took a stool across from her. "The Wardens were killing each other to use blood magic. They were binding demons to themselves. This Erimond was controlling them." She shook her head. "You had every right to be angry."

Pushing herself back to her feet, Evelyn shook her head. "You and Blackwall had your swords ready to take me down. I saw Rylen taking a lyrium draught as he held his sword, too." She turned back to look at the other woman. "I was either going to get smacked across the face with a smite or taken down with a sword."

"I would not have allowed that," Cassandra said, running her hands through her hair. She smiled and chuckled. "Well not the sword part. Not sure about the smite."

Evelyn found herself rolling her eyes and snorted. Taking a deep breath, she turned away and walked over to a bookcase. "You need to promise me that if this thing…" She looked down at her hand. "If this thing takes over me, I want you to kill me."

"As I said, that won't be necessary," Cassandra said as she stood up. Folding her arms across her chest, she looked across the room. "I will not coddle you, Inquisitor. I am aware you are under a great deal of pressure. I see the struggles you face with leading the Inquisition as well as your personal life. You are just one person with the weight of all Thedas on your shoulders." She stepped closer to her. "You hold in all your emotions, preventing anyone from helping you when you need it most. Dorian or your brother are about as close as I've seen you confide in, but you still do not speak to either of them."

The Inquisitor frowned as she lowered her head, her eyes closing in shame. Her words were sharper than any knife, cutting her to the core. What made it worse was she knew that Cassandra was right. Tears welled up in her eyes as she felt Cassandra place a hand on her shoulder.

"I'd like to consider you a friend, Evelyn," Cassandra said. "I admire your strength. The intensity to fix the wrongs, to fight the corruptions that we are facing. Very few would have done what you do now."

"I'm failing miserably at it, Cassandra," Evelyn said.

Cassandra shook her head. "Not where I stand. You can ask any of your companions or advisors and we will all tell you the same thing. We are all flawed. We all have struggles that we battle. Although our battle against Corypheus and his allies, that is one we will fight together against."

Lifting her head, Evelyn looked at Cassandra and wiped the tears away with the hem of her cloak. "Who do you talk to when you're lost?"

"I go to Leliana and Josephine," Cassandra said as she removed her hand from the other woman's shoulder. "We drink wine, discuss problems that we are dealing with and gossip about the Orlesian court. Sometimes I speak with Cullen.

Evelyn found herself laughing. "I am not up on the Orlesian court gossip."

She laughed. "Neither is Cullen. Maybe spending time on a practice dummy is a good start. That is a good way to work off frustrations," Cassandra offered. She lifted a shoulder in a half shrug. "Or you can find Iron Bull and beat him with a large stick for a while. That does help me from time to time."

"You beat Iron Bull with a large stick?" Evelyn asked, surprised. "You're not…I mean if you are great… but you know…" She could not bring herself to say it.

Cassandra's face was that of shock when she realized what Evelyn was trying to say. Her face flushed as she lifted her hands and waved them. "Maker no! It has something to do with his training."

Evelyn smiled, trying not to make the other woman blush more than she already was. Working out was always a good way for her to release tension. Tomorrow morning during drills would be a good time to start.

o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o

"Cassandra! Are you here?" Cullen said as he stepped into the armory.

Shutting the door, he looked around at the new swords that were laid out across the table. Smiling he picked up one and tested its weight in his hand and spun his wrist. Setting it down, he picked up another sword and did the same motion.

"Looking for something new?" Cassandra asked as she came down the steps, drying her hair.

Shaking his head, Cullen sat the sword back down. "Eventually." He turned to her briefly then turned back to looking at the swords. His hand still lazily touching the selection of weapons. "Sometimes you need to replace a reliable weapon with something new. My sword has seen much more use than many."

"Are we wanting to replace just a sword or something else?" Cassandra watched his head lower as his eyes closed. Frowning, she draped her towel over her shoulder and folded her arms across her chest. "Well…spit it out, Cullen. I'm too tired to play games."

Nodding, Cullen straightened himself and turned to face her. "Rylen reported something that concerned me during your latest journey."

"It was nothing," she quickly said. "The Wardens were taken care of. Hawke and Stroud are gathering more information and will report back here at Skyhold when they are done. A decision for further action will be made after that."

Placing his hands on his hips, he looked at his friend. "Did it happen the way Rylen said? Did she cast magic with the mark?"

Cassandra lifted an eyebrow as she looked at him. "It was not magic, or at least I don't believe it was. Call it a surge from the mark."

"Surge?" Cullen said with a snort. Walking over to the fire, he rested a hand against the mantle and looked down at the flickering flames. "He said that she was unhinged."

"Rylen is a good man, but I think he was not being objective. We had just witnessed Wardens using blood magic and had to kill them because they would not yield. This Erimond tortured her mark until she was able to release power from it to stop him."

"What are you omitting, Cassandra?" he asked, turning to face her. "I need to know if she is unable to perform her duties because she –"

"We do not know what this mark on her hand is capable of doing," she said. "You would have to be blind to know she is not in pain from it daily. The pressure she holds trying to keep it under control. It is killing her every time she uses it, Cullen."

His jaw slacked to speak but nothing came out. Closing his mouth, he blew out a heavy breath and ran his fingers through his hair. "I know."

"The struggle you have with your addiction…your leash is much like what she feels with this mark, Cullen," Cassandra said, her voice lower as she spoke. "I have spoken with Evelyn and trust her. If I felt that she was a danger to herself or anyone else I would say and do something."

Looking at her, Cullen frowned. "And me?"

"I know you do not give yourself enough credit, Cullen. You have been fighting this battle against your addiction with more strength than any other I have known." She placed a hand on his shoulder and squeezed it gently. "You will win this fight. Never give up on that."

His head slowly nodded. "Thank you for your confidence, Cassandra."

She nodded her head as she removed her hand from him. "If you feel necessary, have Solas speak to her about the mark. Have him examine it to see if there have been new changes to it that we are not aware of."

"I will do that. Thank you." He gave her a weak smile before turning to leave. "I will leave you to rest now."

Cassandra's eyes followed him as he walked towards the door. As he pulled the door open, she called out his name. Waiting for him to look back she said, "She is most likely on the battlements. Trying to clear her head. She and you have more in common than you may think you do, Cullen. You are both too hard on yourselves and too stubborn to admit it."

o-o-o-o-o-o-o

"Cassandra mentioned I might find you up here," Cullen said as he approached her from her left.

"I'm sure she told you about what happened?"

"She did. As well as Rylen."

Evelyn nodded her head slowly as she continued to look out over the horizon. The moons lit the mountaintops across the horizon. "I never had much opportunity to spend time in the mountains."

"Not even the Vinmark Mountains?" Cullen asked as he stepped beside her.

Shaking her head, she continued to look out over the horizon. The battlements were empty except for guards that were on rotation, protecting Skyhold. "Vinmark was there. We had to go through it from time to time to travel to Starkhaven or Markham. But I never really got a chance to enjoy it."

Cullen crossed his arms over his chest, looking out. "I remember being on the Wounded Coast, outside of Kirkwall. One time I found myself just standing on the mountain side, looking out over the water. It looked like it went on forever. I thought it would be nice just to setup camp there and stay for a few days."

Her head dropped as she let out a wry laugh. "Funny. Cassandra asked me earlier tonight if I was thinking about running away. I asked her the same question. Now here you are, the last person in Thedas I ever thought would consider running and making camp in the middle of nowhere to get away."

Thinking about what she said, he smiled. "I guess we all have considered it before. At some point in our lives."

Pushing herself off the wall, Evelyn turned to face him. "I asked Cassandra this same question, but I want to hear yours. Tell me, Commander. Why have you not run off to start a new life? What keeps you here in Skyhold, doing what you're doing?"

Cullen moved around to face her. Her long brown hair was covered by the hood of the cloak that she wore. Her emerald eyes stared up at him, but he could see the swelling around them from where she had been crying. He never wanted to see her cry again, not after that day in the garden when he discovered the bruises on her face.

"I feel bound by duty to be here," he said, his voice low. "It's all I know how to do, Inquisitor."

"And if you could give it all up, what would you do?" she asked. Her eyes staring up at his. Even in the darkness of the night, she could see those warm amber eyes staring down at her as he moved closer to her. "Or would you stay to fight?"

His hands lifted to push back the hood from her head so he could see her better. His bare fingers running through her hair. His thumbs stroked over her cheeks as he lowered his head until his lips were painfully close to hers. "Anywhere that you are, I would be there. I would fight against anything or anyone that stood in my way."

Evelyn felt her body heat up as his lips came down to meet hers. Eyelids lazily fell closed as Cullen pulled her closer to his body as he deepened the kiss. Trembling hands reached up to grab the leather straps of his cuirass to bring him even closer to her body. Every nerve in her body tingled as his hands held her face in his palms.

When he pulled away from her, she wanted more. Her body craved his touch, needed his embrace. His kiss was just a promise of much more and now it was gone. His eyes staring down at her said the same thing. Cullen's cheeks were flushed, his breathing heavy as he gazed down at her.

"I'm sorry," he whispered.