The next day comes without warning, bringing new waves of sadness and pain. Rick decides to hold a small service in the afternoon, to remember him. The entire group shows, including Shane, though I knew he despised the man. I leave Coco at the house with Beth, her behaviour (or lack thereof) not suitable for the sombre occasion.

Throughout the funeral, I can feel Daryl's arm brushing lightly against my own. Being the last person to arrive at the grave, the places to stand were limited, meaning I was stuck standing next to the man who was currently ignoring me. I knew Daryl regretted the kiss and his reaction, but I could hold a mean grudge, and didn't plan on initiating a conversation with him.

Due to my position next to said man, I found it hard to concentrate on Rick's words. My mind kept wandering to the kiss, and my embarrassment afterwards. I mean, was the kiss really that bad? It's not like I hadn't kissed someone before, and I sure as hell was not an amateur, but did he think it was shit? Oh God, he's gonna think I'm some crazy bitch who sprung her first kiss on the first guy to show her attention. Guess I'm leaving the group.

"Lily? We've finished, everyone's left." Glenn's voice pulls me from my increasingly dramatic thoughts, and my eyes widen at his statement. I spare a cursory glance around me, and sigh loudly at the absence of our group.

"Sorry, I was daydreamin' and time got away from me," I tell him sheepishly. "You shouldn't have waited for me."

Glenn shakes his head. "If I left you, you woulda been out here all day." We both laugh, knowing his words hold the truth. We head up towards the house together, talking quietly between ourselves.

"So, how're you n Maggie?" I question him, hoping for details. I'm sorely mistaken.

"Yeah we're good," he replies calmly. I hold my breath, thinking his sentence was far from finished. When Glenn falls silent, I furrow my brows.

"Good? That it?" Glenn blows out a breath, before turning to look at me, warmth filling his dark eyes.

"Yeah, we urm," he begins, "we've definitely progressed since the pharmacy," he tells me, the corners of his mouth tugging upwards into a smile. I raise one eyebrow, confused.

"The pharmacy?" Glenn's eyes widen, and he turns his increasingly red face away from me. I can hear him cursing himself quietly and find myself smirking.

"I-we-we didn't-I said-you can't," He stutters, fumbling over each word. I give him a moment to regain his composure. "Back when we first arrived, me and Maggie went on a run for medication, and I was trying to find a-a pregnancy test for Lori, but I accidentally grabbed a box of-urm-condoms. One thing led to another, and we urm - did it."

My mouth drops in shock, and I struggle to contain the laughter bubbling inside me. "Damn Glenn, you animal. I mean, an abandoned pharmacy wouldn't be my first choice to have a fling, but whatever floats your boat, I guess," the last part comes out in a giggle, though I try desperately to hide it. Glenn shoves me playfully, before joining me in my laughter.

"Yeah, yeah. I don't see you scoring, or is there something you need to tell me?" Glenn probes me, and I feel my face drop slowly. Glenn notices my change in expression and digs deeper. "Lily, who-?"

"Okay, I'm only tellin' you this because you just dished on your love life, and I swear to God, if you tell a soul, so help me I will rip every single hair from your head with hot tweezers." I watch as Glenn's face clouds over with momentary fear, and force a smirk down. "After Dale tried to convince me to save Randall, I ran off to the barn 'cause he pissed me off. Daryl kinda snuck up on me and I accidentally elbowed him in the dick, but after that, we were talkin' and we kissed." Glenn's eyes widen and he begins to grin wildly. "Don't say a word," I warn. "He's ignorin' me now. I don't think he wanted me to kiss him, and we haven't spoken since he stormed out right after it."

Glenn's eyebrows furrow into a deep line. "Well did he kiss you back?" He asks me, clearly confused.

"I started it, and I mean, he didn't at first, but he did afterwards. He even grabbed my face," I can feel my face growing warm, almost uncomfortable relating the story to Glenn. Glenn smirks, before turning his face towards me. "So he clearly did want to kiss you, otherwise he would've just shoved you off him. And, I doubt he's purposely ignoring you. We all know Daryl doesn't have a way with words." We both laugh, and looking up, we see we're at the house. Our group is huddled in a circle, packing up the small camp we had set up beside said house. Me and Glenn spare a glance at each other before we approach Rick.

"Why're we packing up, dude?" Rick's head snaps up, his eyes meeting mine quickly. He pushes himself into a standing position, and wipes his hands on his dark jeans.

"Hershel said it's too dangerous to stay out here. He's invited us all to stay in his house, together," Rick tells us, before realisation crosses his features. "Except your brother. Hershel's still pissed at him."

I nod slowly, not surprised. "Will we all fit?" My question was genuine, knowing the house wasn't that big. Rick shakes his head and sighs loudly.

"Hershel's offered Lori his room, and the rest of us will have to bunk in the lounge," he tells us tiredly. I stop questioning him, and get to work packing up my stuff. It doesn't take me long, and soon I begin to haul my shit towards the door. Correction - I try to haul my shit towards the door. Turns out tents weigh more than I originally thought. Refusing to ask for help, I drag my tent halfway to the house before someone grabs onto my arm, pulling me to a stop. I fight the urge to throw a temper tantrum, and turn around slowly.

I don't like surprises, though since the world quite literally ended, I was starting to get used to surprises. A surprise herd of roamers? Easy. Someone gets shot suddenly? No biggie. You meet your estranged brother outside the centre for disease control after not speaking to him for 10 years? Eh, all in a day's work. I really was getting quite accustomed to surprises.

So when I turn around and my eyes land on Daryl Dixon, the fact that his presence surprises me is a shock. Despite forcing myself to dislike him, I find my palms growing sweaty and I can feel my heart leap into my throat. I scold myself silently, and compose my features into an expression resembling happiness.

"You need help?" His grating voice fills my ears, and I struggle to keep myself from apologizing profusely for the kiss.

I smile gratefully at him, and nod my head. "Thank you," I acknowledge. He doesn't reply, but leans down, grabbing the tent by it's base, lifting it up in one swift motion. He carries it as if it weighs nothing, and by the look of his large biceps, and empty face, it doesn't. My eyes widen and I slap myself on the forehead sharply, realising that I'm gazing directly at his arms, and I'm convinced there's a tiny bit of drool coming from the corner of my mouth. Daryl turns to look back at me at the sound of my hand connecting with my face, and I smile sheepishly at him before hurrying to catch up.

"You didn't have to-" I begin, at least trying to have a conversation, my mind changing drastically from just an hour ago.

Daryl grunts and shakes his head. "You could barely drag it, wasn't exactly gonna leave you to suffer sunshine."

I roll my eyes at his nickname, and cross my arms tightly over my chest. "I coulda dragged it, easy. Not my fault your stronger twinkletoes." It's his turn to roll his eyes, and he scoffs lowly.

"Course you could, princess." My face scrunches up and I shove him in the arm.

"I let you call me princess once, and that was only because you nearly died," I breathe. "Don't call me princess unless you want to wake up bald tomorrow mornin'," I threaten, fully prepared to follow through.

At this, a raucous laugh erupts from his mouth, and he turns his head to send me a look. "Now, that is somethin' I wanna see. Go ahead and try, we'll see who comes out on top."

Hopefully you, literally. I nearly gasp at the sudden thought, and scold myself again. I am not attracted to Daryl Dixon. Maybe if I repeat it enough, my brain will get the message.

We both stop at the doorway to the house, and I can see Glenn and Maggie in the kitchen, both of them arguing, though Glenn is sending me sneaky looks. Lori and Rick are sorting out beds, and the other girls are preparing food in the kitchen. Me and Daryl had just passed Shane and Carl on the porch, talking in hushed voices.

Me and Shane hadn't spoken since he tried to kill me, and I almost missed our constant bickering. Almost. Daryl dumps my tent in the hallway, ready for Hershel to move it into the attic with the rest of our stuff, and walks back out of the door. I turn to follow, not really having a purpose indoors, but am stopped by none other than Shane, his arm coming quickly down in front of me. My eyes snap up, a smart remark ready on my tongue. The only thing halting my words is the emotion clouding his eyes, his expression pleading.

"Lily come with me," he whispers, and without waiting for a response, hurries off towards the RV. I hesitate for a moment, still afraid of him. I figure Shane wouldn't murder me on the doorstep of our home, and follow after.

Shane has a small handgun in his hand, belonging to neither him nor I. "Carl stole Daryl's gun," he tells me bluntly. "He blames himself for Dale's death too. He saw the walker that got him before it happened, in the swamp. It nearly got him and he didn't kill it. So he thinks Dale's dead because of him."

I close my eyes, sympathy washing over me. "Why're you tellin' me? Why not Rick?" I ask him, confused as to what I can do.

"Because Carl looks up to you. And Rick and Lori, they need a break," He tells me seriously. Rick told me Carl looks up to me, but hearing it from someone outside of the Grimes family makes it seem more real.

"So what, you want me to give Daryl back his gun? Talk to the kid?" I question. "And why should I do anythin' for you? After everythin'?"

Shane sighs, but pushes the gun into my hands. "I'm not going to apologize for what happened, because it was ten years ago. But I will apologize for what happened the other day, and for being horrible since you arrived."

I snarl lowly, unsurprised by his words. "Of course you're not gonna apologize for traumatisin' me. Or for leaving me homeless, and without a family. Am I even a Walsh? Did you all disown me?"

"Stop trying to make this into an argument, okay? I'm sorry, I don't know what else you want me to say. Please forgive me." The pleading look clouds his features again, and I feel myself aching for a bond with the man across from me. Was he really sorry? And did he deserve my forgiveness?

"I'll forgive you for the recent events. But you have to leave the Grimes' alone. I mean stop trying to interfere with their marriage. Lori and Rick are married, and whatever happened between you and her is in the past." Truthfully, I wasn't sure what had gone on between the two, though it didn't take a genius to work it out. Shane's eyes fill with a mixture of anger and longing. "I can't do that. Lori's carrying my child, I can't just leave her. I love her," he tells me sadly.

My eyes widen, though I quickly hide my shock. "That's exactly what you have to do." I put a gentle hand on his arm. "Love her enough to let her be happy with someone else."

His face drops in sadness, but not acceptance. "Maybe. Rick can't protect them, not as well as I can." I shake my head furiously, dropping my hand. I thought we'd made progress.

"Whatever Shane. I'm goin' to find Carl." I walk away in disgust, towards the house.

"He went to the barn," Shane calls from behind me, and I spin on my heel, changing my trajectory to the barn. I make it there quickly, my mind still spinning from the conversation. I pull myself up by the ladder, and spy Carl sat on the ledge, a pair of binoculars held tightly in between his small hands. God, the kid was barely 13 and he was already holding the weight of this world upon his tiny shoulders.

"Hey kiddo," I call quietly, hoping not to scare him.

He barely looks up, only setting his binoculars on the floor beside him. "I saw you coming. You good?"

I force myself to laugh lightly, moving to sit next to the small boy. "I could ask you the same thing. What're you doing up here?"

Carl shoots me a playful look. "I could ask you the same thing," he mocks.

I shrug my shoulders, a smile playing on my lips. "Touché, kid." We both giggle loudly, before I pull out Daryl's gun, quickly ruining the upbeat atmosphere.

Carl looks at me fearfully. "I was only trying to help. I thought I could kill a few walkers before they got here, but one of them nearly got me. I couldn't kill it," he takes a shaky breath before continuing. "And because of that, Dale died. I'm sorry Lily."

Carl looks close to tears, and I wrap my arm around his shoulders securely. "We're only ever alive because someone else is dead. That's just the way it is now."

Carl looks up at me tearfully. "Did you tell Daryl? Is he mad?"

"No, I didn't tell him. I won't. But, I want you to keep this gun, to protect yourself." I try to push the gun into his small hands, but he pushes it back.

"No, I'm never touching a gun in my life."

I sigh. "You know, when I was 17, my dad got me my first gun," I tell him, pulling my own Glock from it's holster. "I told him I didn't need one, and to be honest, I was scared. But I took it, and here I am. It's saved me too many times to count." I leave out the part where I got kicked out a few months after I was given it, though I'm sure he'd heard me and Shane arguing over it before.

"It'll only bring more pain to this group, me having this," he begins. "What if I can't kill a walker quick enough? What if I accidentally miss?" He asks, staring intently at the gun resting in my hands.

"We can fix that. I know you went out gun trainin' with the rest of them, but, if you want, I'll take you out, teach you reflexes and aimin' under pressure." Carl's face lights up, and he nods at my offer.

I offer the gun once more, and Carl's smile is replaced by doubt. "Are you sure?" I nod and pass him the weapon. This time he takes it, shoving it into the waistband of his jeans.

We both stare over the farm for a while after that, his head resting gently on my shoulder, my head on top of his.

"What was your life like before this?" He asks quietly. I smile, though he can't see it, for once feeling comfortable enough to share my story.

"Well, I was livin' in Florida, and I was a trainin' vet. I was livin' in a shitty apartment, and the only reason I had anythin' was because most of my friends were shady, and they had connections. Like this one guy, Gino, he sold drugs to all the addicts in Orlando, and he got me my apartment cause the guy who owned the buildin' was one of the addicts he sold to. And urm, this girl called Rhea, her boyfriend was a vet and she got me the trainin' for completely free." My mind is cast back to my time in Florida, simultaneously the worst and best times of my life.

"Oh that's cool," Carl tells me. "I know that you got kicked out, but I don't know why?" His voice rises at the end, questioning.

I'm not sure how to approach his question, afraid of saying the wrong thing. Maybe he's too young? Would Rick and Lori care if I told him? I knew about sexuality by his age, and I take a leap of faith, hoping for acceptance. "Shane caught me kissin' my best friend," I say bluntly, praying he gets the hint. Unfortunately, he doesn't.

"So? Did your parents not want you to have a boyfriend?"

I smile at him before explaining myself. "No, Carl, they didn't want me to have a girlfriend."

Carl's eyes widen, but his smile doesn't slip. "Oh," he exclaims, the key finally dropping. "You like girls."

I nod, giggling at his reaction. "And guys, can't forget that."

Carl looks at me seriously, trying so hard to hide his grin. "Well, I mean who could blame you when I'm sat right here?"

We both dissolve into fits of laughter, each of us clinging to each other. "Of course, kiddo," I giggle. Watching our conversation unfold, I'm surprised at how adult he is, and laughing and joking with him feels no different than if I was doing the same with Rick or someone else from our group.

Surprises weren't fun, but they were inevitable. In any world, you were bound to be hit by twists and turns in your daily life, whether that be something as mundane as being sacked suddenly, or the dead rising from their graves. Either way, you either had to enjoy them, or get over it.

I had learnt to accept them, though watching my brother slip silently into the barn opposite us, the one holding Randall, shocked me, and I refused to accept it. My mixed feelings towards the man would not cloud my judgement of him and his actions. And my judgement of him right now?

He was slowly losing the battle against his mind. In other words: he was unravelling.

A/N I'm backkk! I've been working on this chapter for so long, I'm not really sure why it took me such an age. Carl and Lily had some bonding, Daryl and Lily are getting back on track, and are Shane and Lily in for a forgiveness arc? Season 2 is so close to finishing, to my relief, so what do you think will happen to Lily? Will she make it out? What'll happen in the 8 months their on the road? please comment what you think, you have no idea how happy it makes me :)