"Poseidon!" Zeus boomed after a long silence. "Why didn't tell us about this before?"
Poseidon made an apologetic smile. "I should have told you earlier, but it is prophecied to reveal when Olympians read about twin archers."
Zeus scratched back of his head. "Lets catch him after the reading and hang him over Chaos edge, shall we?"
"After reading the stories." Artemis agreed. "But first let me read!" Artemis deadpanned.
Nobody saw Apollo's eyes meeting Poseidon's.
Artemis began to read.
Super sized Mcshizzile makes Valdezinator
"Of course." Artemis sighed, looking at Leo with disgust. Then she tore that page from the book, crumbled it and threw away.
Artemis unleashes the death pig
"Hades!" Poseidon grinned. "But how does Artemis unleash Hades upon people?"
IT'S NOT THAT ARTEMIS HATED ALL MEN , just most of them.
"Like 99.9% percent." Nico said.
From the moment she was born, sheknew one critical fact: Guys are kinda gross.
"She continuously told that to me in mother's womb.." Apollo, who was back in his awesome personality, said.
Of course, she'd spent those seven months in the womb with her twin brother, Apollo, waiting tobe born. That much time alone with Apollo would give anyone a bad impression of the male gender.
"Of course, blame on me Percy." Apollo said, widening his arms.
"Mighty lord Apollo
God of awesomeness
You're not guilty." Percy sang.
Artemis was born first, probably because she was anxious to get out.
"Being a wild goddess and all." Demeter said.
She immediately grew to thesize of a six-year-old girl and looked around at the other goddesses who had assembled to help Leto.
"Right," Artemis said. "I'll assist with my brother's delivery. He's going to be a pain.
"I'm flattered." Apollo said sarcastically.
Boil somewater! Get some extra sheets! I'll scrub up."
Sure enough, Artemis helped deliver her own twin brother.
"See, I'm the elder twin!" Artemis claimed.
From that point on, she became agoddess of childbirth, the protector of newborn babies and young children.
"I don't think she helped childbirths of male children though." Nico pointed out.
(Along with the otherchildbirth goddess, Eileithyia; they shared the duties.)
"Obviously. She did the cases of male children, while I did the girls." Artemis stated. "
Once Apollo was born and started dancing andsinging about how great he was, Artemis just stepped back and rolled her eyes.
"Can't resist my awesomeness?" Apollo teased.
"He's always like this," she confided to Hestia. "Seven months in the womb, he wouldn't shutup."
"I think Apollo had a point, according to what he said." Hermes said.
Hestia smiled kindly. "And you, dear? Do you sing and dance?"
"In her dreams." The dream god, Morpheus popped up and said. Then he was vanished.
"Ugh, no. But I do have plans. Could you take me to see my dad?"
"Daddy's girl!" Ares said.
"Momma's boy!" Artemis retorted.
Hestia whisked young Artemis off to Mount Olympus, where her father, Zeus, was sitting on his throne, listening to the wind gods give their weekly report on cloud formations.
"Tiring?" Hades asked.
It was so freaking boring, Zeus was delighted to have a distraction.
"Like a good beautiful mortal woman?" Hermes teased.
"Hey, look!" Zeus said, interrupting the South Wind's PowerPoint presentation about low pressure zones.
"Notus doesn't take it well when his presentations are being interrupted." Zeus said.
"It's Hestia and…and some kid. Come in!"
"Some kid, eh?" Hephaestus asked.
Hestia stepped into the throne room, leading Artemis by the hand. "Lord Zeus, this is your new daughter, Artemis. We can come back later if you're busy."
"Nah, he just wanted an excuse to escape his duties." Demeter said.
"Busy?" Zeus cleared his throat. "No, no! They're important stuff, weather reports, but darn it, they'll have to wait!"
"Did Artemis drink Felix Felicis?" Nico asked.
He shooed away the wind gods and held out his arms to Artemis. "Come to Papa, little one! Let's take a look at you!"
"Daddy dearest continues to spoil the brat." Dionysus muttered.
Artemis wore a simple knee-length chiton—a sort of T-shirt dress tied with a cord at the waist. She had shoulder-length raven-black hair and strikingly beautiful silver-gray eyes.
"Perseus!" Artemis boomed.
Percy covered behind Annabeth.
"I can't help but feel a littlebit jealous, Percy." Annabeth teased.
I use the word strikingly because you got the feeling those eyes could strike you dead if Artemis got angry.
"You still find them beautiful!" Aphrodite cooed. "Another idea for a Pertemis fanfiction." She squealed.
She was less than a day old, but she already looked like she was in elementary school.
"We gods grow up fast." Hermes said.
Even for a nine- or ten-year-old, she would have been tall.
"That we all are." Poseidon agreed.
She could've totally dominated the fourth-grade basketball team.
"I don't like basketball." Artemis said.
As she approached the throne, she gave Zeus a brilliant smile that melted his heart. "Daddy!" She threw herself into his arms. "I love you, I love you! You're the best daddy ever!"
"Daddy's girl, through and through." Hermes said.
Maybe she didn't like guys that much,
"You mean...even though she hated guys that much." Piper supported.
but she knew exactly how to wrap her father around her little finger.
"That's why we all sing- Arty is spoilt brat!" Apollo sang.
"Shut it, Apollo!" Artemis deadpanned.
Zeus chuckled. "Well, shock me silly. You are the cutest little goddess I've ever seen. Tell Daddy Zeus what you want for your birthday present, honeycakes, and it's yours."
"Here we go." Dionysus said sarcastically.
Artemis batted her eyelashes. "Anything?"
"Way to go Artemis! Nicely laying your charm!" Aphrodite said.
"Anything! I promise on the River Styx!"
"You didn't just say that!" Hades said.
Boom. Magic words. You'd think the gods would've been smarter about not making rash promises on the River Styx, but Zeus never seemed to learn.
"Nice way to put it." Athena said.
Now he would have to give Artemis whatever she wanted.
"If she wanted to rule Olympus ..." Hephaestus trailed off.
Some girls might've asked for a pony or a new phone or a shopping spree with their friends at the mall.
"A normal girl would." Hermes said.
Some might've asked for front-row tickets to the hottest boy band concert, or a date with somebody really awesome—like, I don't know, Percy Jackson, or somebody.
"You know?" Artemis sneered at Percy. "I have half the mind to turn you into a jackelope and let hunters hunt you."
"And don't be such self centric." Annabeth teased.
(What—It could happen.)
"No girl in their right mind wouldn't do that, other than a fanfic writer. Cause they have to deal with Annabeth afterwards." Leo said.
Artemis didn't care about any of that. She knew exactly what she wanted.
"What?" Frank asked.
Maybe it was because her mom, Leto, had been on the move so much while she tried to give birth, wandering from island to island. Maybe it was because the snake Python had almost devoured Leto before the twins could be born.
"Its instinctive, like Apollo said." Artemis said.
Whatever the case, Artemis had a restless spirit. She wanted to roam the world and hunt dangerous creatures, and she definitely never wanted to get pregnant.
"Or maybe..." Apollo whispered. "Or maybe she had those ideas since she was day one. Yeah that's right, I grew up hearing those hunting stuff and her dream team."
She'd seen how much trouble that had brought her mom. Artemis was happy assisting with deliveries, but she never wanted to go through that herself.
'A goddess who would never know what the pregnant women feel is the goddess of childbirth.' Demeter shook her head off her thoughts.
"Let me be a maiden forever, Father," Artemis said, twirling her finger in Zeus's beard. "I never want to get married. I want a bow and arrows—
"Just like Apollo!" Hestia smiled.
Wait. You know what? Forget that.
"What?" Audiance asked in disbelief.
If you gave me the bow and arrows, they might not be the best quality. I'll go see the Cyclopes and get them to custom-make my weapons.
"Yeah, right!" Hephaestus scoffed. "Apollo's bow is the better one, because I made it!"
But you can grant me a bunch of followers: ocean nymphs, river nymphs, wood nymphs—what the heck, how about mortal girls, too?
"I don't care what their race is." Artemis said.
Any girls who want to join me can become my followers, as long as they remain maidens like me. They should probably make the decision when they're about nine years old, before they get interested in boys,
"Wow. They don't really get to choose." Jason muttered.
because after that, they'll be all distracted and of no use to me.
"Artemis uses them? No surprise!" Nico said. "She proved that she's very manipulative when I'm ten, at least biologically." He spat venomously.
Thalia on the other hand, was deeply in her thoughts.
I think we can start with about eighty followers, okay?
"Start. Yes, eighty to begin, eighty thousand to end." Dionysus drawled.
We'll see how it goes. They can hunt with me, clean my kills, take care of my hunting dogs. Oh, that reminds me! I want hunting dogs."
"Speaking of dogs, Perseus' first child is a dog, which he had with Nyx." Poseidon said thoughtfully.
"What is it?" Zeus asked.
"Cerberus." Poseidon said calmly. Hades slowly looked at Poseidon in disbelief.
"It's true. Perseus left the child to wander in underworld until you found him. Its destined to eat Ares and Dionysus and will be slained at Zeus' hand." Poseidon said.
"We will do whatever we have to, after the reading." Hermes reminded.
She took a deep breath. "I also want the right to hunt any dangerous animals anywhere in the world. I want all mountains to be sacred to me, because that's where I'll spend most of my time, out in the wilderness. As far as cities…I don't know. Just pick any old city to be my special place.
"How about a nice forest?" Piper asked.
"Charming." Artemis said.
I'll only visit towns when the women need my help with childbirth, or when the little kids need a protector."
"You mean.. little girls, right?" Hermes asked.
She smiled up at Zeus with her big silvery eyes. "And…yeah, I think that's it."
"Giving him puppy dog eyes already?" Poseidon teased.
Zeus blinked, momentarily stunned.
"He's shocked, eh?" Hazel asked.
Then he burst out laughing. "You're my daughter, all right! You think big!"
"Like a dad, like a daughter." Demeter said.
He kissed Artemis's forehead and set her on her feet. "You know, when I have children like you, it's totally worth dealing with Hera's wrath.
"Is it?" Hades asked, his eyes lingering on Artemis for a while.
I'll give you everything you asked for, my sweet. Not only that, I'll give you lots of cities. I have a feeling you're going to be very popular!"
"I thought you disliked spoilt children, Percy." Nico muttered.
Zeus was right. Artemis was worshipped by all kinds of people: pregnant women, little kids,
"Little girls, mostly." Artemis said.
parents,
"Who had daughters, I presume." Frank said.
young maidens who wanted protection from gross guys,
"Young maidens, who wanted to escape their life." Aphrodite said.
and of course anyone who hunted, which back then were a lot of folks. Guy or girl, if you hunted, Artemis was on your side—
"Even criminals? They were being hunted too, you know?" Piper asked.
"Yeah. Hunters like Orion had bad past history." Thalia said.
as long as you didn't trash up the wilderness, and you actually used what you killed.
"And as long as you don't hurt any maidens." Artemis added.
But she was also the goddess of wild animals, so if you went crazy and killed too many animals for no good reason, Artemis would have a few things to say to you.
"Few things? She rarely say a word to them, or the males who tresspass their territory unknowingly. She turns them into Jackelopes." Apollo said.
After talking with Zeus, Artemis went to see the Cyclopes, who were working at one of Hephaestus's forges on the island of Lipara. She got them to make her a special silver hunting bow and a quiver full of enchanted gold and silver arrows.
"Which by the way, an indirect insult to me." Hephaestus said.
Then she went to visit Pan, the satyr god of the wild.
Percy, Annabeth, Grover and Nico smiled. Percy bit back a haiku.
She adopted his best wild dogs for her hunting pack. Some were black and white, some were reddish, some had spots like Dalmatians; but they were all fierce.
"Pack of dogs, now that's classic." Leo said.
They ran faster than the wind, and each one was strong enough to pull down a full-grown lion. Imagine what they could do as a pack.
"Tear up their enemies! Feast on their flesh and blood!" Ares said dramatically.
Next, Artemis assembled her group of followers. It wasn't hard.
"Yeah, since they have the big offer of partial immortality, silver plated hunter skills, a 'family' and free chance to escape hardships of life, why would it be?" Nico asked.
A lot of nymphs and mortal girls liked the idea of living free in the wilderness, never having to worry about getting married.
"You're canceling marraige." Hera said icily.
Maybe you're thinking: Oh, but I want to get married someday! Yeah, but back then, most girls didn't get to pick who they married.
"I doubt Artemis began the service for those kind of girls with the pure goodness of her heart." Aphrodite said.
Your dad just said, Hey, go marry that guy. He of ered me the biggest dowry. It didn't matter if the dude was fat, old, ugly, and smelled like month-old cheese. You had no choice but to marry him.
"We have cancelled those type of weddings, killed the groom and bride's father if necessary and took the girl to hunt, back then." Artemis said. Her eyes gleamed viciously.
Artemis's followers never had to deal with that. They also never had to look over their shoulders, wondering if some lovesick god was going to ambush them. Artemis's hunters were off-limits.
"Which by the way, wouldn't stop powerful gods like Zeus." Hazel said.
"Agreed. She would give a hard time to Dionysus or Ares, but if she fought with other male gods..." Hephaestus trailed off.
Anybody who tried to kidnap them, or even flirt with them, would find himself on the wrong side of Artemis's silver bow.
"Or herself. Goddesses don't care about sexuality either. Apollo dated Hycinthus and some other men, as well as Zeus or Poseidon." Athena said. "Aphrodite and Demeter dated their fair share of women, and I dated Sappho myself." Athena said.
"That famed poet?" Hephaestus asked.
"Yup. That was what attracted me to her most." Athena said.
Usually Artemis only took about twenty followers hunting with her at a time. You can't exactly sneak up on your prey with eighty girls.
"Dully noted." Jason said.
The rest of her followers would either hunt in different groups or stay back at camp and butcher the kills, or cure the leather, or make campfires…or whatever nature-type people do when they're camping. I'm from Manhattan. I don't know these things.
"Which makes you're an unworthy male through and through." Artemis said. "If you're a man, you should know these things."
Early on, Artemis realized she would be traveling long distances and moving quickly—sometimes more quickly than even a goddess could move on foot. She decided it would be a good idea to get a chariot.
"Perhaps moon chariot?" Apollo suggested.
She just wasn't sure what type of animals should pull it. Horses were Poseidon's thing.
"And what's wrong with horses?" Poseidon asked not so kindly.
Besides, they were domesticated.
"There are wild horses, and also Zebras you know?" Poseidon asked. "Zebras are beautiful."
Artemis wanted something wild and fast.
"Sonic?" Leo asked.
Then one day she spotted a herd of deer.
"How...nice?" Piper asked uneasily.
You're thinking, Wow, deer. That fills me with excitement.
"Nope." Jason said. "Those deers bound to be magical or something."
But this herd of deer included five huge hinds—adult females the size of bulls, with hooves and antlers made of solid gold.
"Either a gift of Apollo, or Perseus." Poseidon commented.
"Not mine." Apollo grinned. "Possibly from our future slayer and the elder half brother."
"Why would he gift me?" Artemis asked.
How did Artemis know it was real gold and not spray-paint? She's the goddess of wild animals. She could just tell.
"And those creatures were different and majestic than normal deers." Thalia supported. "I was told by older hunters."
She turned to her followers and whispered, "Those noble deer would be awesome pulling my chariot. This will be our first big capture, ladies!"
"Yeah, a big mission." Frank said.
Now, Artemis preferred not to kill harmless animals like deer. Mostly she just killed animals that hurt humans, like bears or lions or enraged badgers.
"Apollo controls human population while I control animal population. If there are too much herbivores, I let the carnivores hunt them." Artemis said. "If there are too many carnivores, I hunt them."
"Enraged badgers? Lions? You kill Hufflepuffs and Gryffindors?" Nico asked.
"I'm glad you're only a male." Artemis said.
But she had lots of clever ways to catch animals without hurting them. Among her followers was a nymph named Britomartis, who was so good at making nets that Artemis would eventually make her a minor goddess—the Lady of Nets.
"All nets shall worship her!" Dionysus said dramatically.
(Did she play basketball? I don't know.)
"She played football." Hermes said.
Britomartis set some snares and concealed nets. Then the followers of Artemis started making noise. Just as they hoped, most of the regular-sized deer ran away, but the giant hinds with the golden horns turned to face the enemy and protect their herd.
"As the majestic creatures they're." Thalia and Artemis said.
Four of them charged straight into the nets and were caught, but the smartest of the five turned at the last second and dashed to safety.
"That would be Perseus' ride in the final batle of Olympus." Poseidon said. "The god of destruction, shall bring the doom forth, riding the golden deer escaped net of hunter." He recited.
"My lady," said Britomartis, "should we go after that one?"
Artemis smiled. "No. Four deer are enough to pull my chariot. That fifth one has earned her freedom. She's a smart hind! From now on, she will have my blessing. I forbid any hunter to harm her."
"Maybe it's his plan from beginning?" Apollo asked. "It sounds smart."
That lucky deer lived a long time. She became famous for hanging out in an area of Greece called Ceryneia, so she was known as the Ceryneian Hind. Later on, Hercules would be ordered to capture her, but that's another story.
"And we don't hear it at all." Thalia said. Hunters hated Hercules with every vibe of their body.
Artemis now had everything she needed: her weapons, her followers, her hunting dogs, and her chariot pulled by magical hinds with fourteen-karat horns.
"They're 22 karats, Jackson!" Artemis deadpanned.
The goddess spent her time roaming the mountains, hunting monsters, punishing anyone who was needlessly cruel to animals or didn't respect the wilderness.
"Or males who trespass her territory unknowingly, or mortal males who witness their hunt." Aphrodite said.
Occasionally she would pop into town to check on the children, help mothers give birth,
"Within limits. All of her services are for girls, excluding the hunters or hunted." Demeter said.
"I have my preferences." Artemis whispered.
and maybe do a little recruiting among the young girls who might want to join the Hunt.
"Back then, we had hundreds of hunters." Artemis boasted.
In some ways, she and her brother Apollo were very much alike. They were both freakishly good archers.
"Check." Hephaestus said.
While Artemis was the protector of young maidens, Apollo was the protector of young men.
"We saw their that side in Thebes." Hades drawled.
Both had healing powers.
"For Artemis, its in lower scale." Apollo said. "Oh, don't give me that look Percy, you want me to give up my domain which I reign superior?"
"Mighty lord Apollo,
Take this curse away
I've suffered enough." Percy sang.
Both could punish disrespectful mortals with a sudden death-arrow or a horrible plague.
"Again, lower scale for Artemis." Apollo said.
Later on, Artemis became known as the goddess of the moon, taking over from the Titan Selene, the same way Apollo took over from Helios, the sun Titan.
"Not the same way. She lost belief in her self after the battle with Typhoeus. You mortals call it PSDT?" Artemis asked.
"PTSD! Post Traumatic Stress Disorder!" Apollo, Dionysus and Athena exclaimed impatiently.
Sometimes you'll see Artemis with a silvery crescent-shape emblem on her headband, which either means she's the moon goddess
"Or?" Artemis asked dangerously.
or that she has a boomerang duct-taped to her forehead.
"That's it!" Artemis snapped her fingers, and Percy turned into a cute jackelope.
"Artemis!" Poseidon roared.
"What? He was getting on my nerves!" Artemis said not so innocently.
Let's go with the first option.
Poseidon turned Percy back into himself. (But Leo managed to take few embarrasing photos first, so did Hephaestus.
In other ways, Artemis was totally different from her brother. Apollo dated everybody. Artemis had no time for that nonsense. She was absolutely immune to love magic.
"Wrong." Aphrodite's eyes gleamed. "She isn't immune to powerful love magic, and if you think dating someone is nonsense, I can separate you from Annabeth and make you the guardian of the hunt, if Artemis likes it."
"Ugh. We don't need a male to protect our hunt. Thanks, but no thanks. I'm intending to shoot those fanfiction writers who are writing those 'Guardian of hunt' stories; regardless of their gender." Artemis ranted.
Her brother Apollo liked to make music. Artemis preferred the sounds of the crickets at night, the crackle of the campfire, the hooting of owls, and the gurgling of rivers.
"Which by the way, another sort of music." Apollo said.
Apollo liked to draw attention to himself. Artemis preferred to slip away into the wilderness and be left alone with just her followers.
"Which aren't healthy attitudes at all. Extreme attention seeking vs extreme loneliness." Aphrodite said.
Her symbols? No surprise: the bow, the deer, and sometimes the crescent moon.
"Loves of her life." Thalia whispered.
You might think only women worshipped her, but guys respected her as well.
"Guys like Percy Jackson." Leo grinned.
The Spartans used to pray to her for good hunting and success with archery and whatnot.
"Mainly for good hunting. They worshipped me for archery, and Ares for war." Apollo said.
Gross-out alert: to honor her they used to tie a young guy to Artemis's altar and whip him until he bled all over the place. Why they thought that would make Artemis happy, I'm not sure.
"Males beating up another male? That's entertaining!" Artemis said. "And hillarious." She added.
Did I mention the Spartans were complete freakazoids?
"No they aren't." Ares said. "This happened at some event of Olympics, after Persian wars. An old man was trying to find a place to sit down. He walked haltingly, looking for a spare patch of ground, but there was none and nobody was prepared to give up his seat." He cleared his throat, and began to speak again.
"Then he reached the section reserved for Spartans. At once, every single spartan stood up to offer the old man his place. Ironically, the rest of the audience broke out into applause for the Spartans' behaviour." Ares paused.
"This is the best part." He continued, his red eyes were shining madly. "The old man looked around and called out, "I see what this means. All Greeks know what is right – but only the Spartans do it. So, are they complete freakazoids?" Ares asked.
"I'm astounded." Athena whispered. "Perhaps there is some hope for Ares, after all."
Other Greeks sacrificed goats to her, or even dogs.
"Flesh of dogs? Bletch!" Hazel gagged.
"They're special meals in China." Frank shrugged. That earned him a sharp pat on the wrist.
"Don't tell me you eat them!" Hazel deadpanned.
I know. Dogs? Artemis loved dogs. Why anyone would sacrifice them to her, I don't know.
"Perhaps they had a death wish." Jason suggested.
Hopefully Artemis made her displeasure known by sending a plague down on those idiots.
"Disgusted me. Of course I did." Artemis said angrily.
She was popular all over Greece, but her biggest temple was in the city of Ephesus in Asia Minor. The Amazons founded the place, which makes sense. A nation of women warriors? They totally got what Artemis was about.
"Dreamland for Artemis, hadn't they kept men for them." Thalia muttered.
Sure, Artemis was mostly into hunting, but she was an excellent warrior when she had to be.
"She totally is." Apollo said proudly.
For instance, when those twin giants the Alodai attacked Olympus, stacking up mountains to make a siege tower? It was Artemis who took them down.
"Wow." Leo said. "Wanna join team Leo?"
Artemis rolled her eyes and asked, " Do you have a wish to turn into a jackelope, male?"
It happened like this. After Ares the war god got sprung from that bronze jar, the twin giants started bragging about how they were going to take over Olympus and make the gods their slaves. Ephialtes wanted Hera for his wife. Otis wanted to force Artemis to marry him.
"Must be my dramatic influence." Dionysus said. "Though those fantasies are idiotic, I daresay."
When word of that got back to Artemis, she said, "Okay. Those two need to die now."
"They enraged me." Artemis said.
Maybe she could have taken them down from a distance with her bow, but she wanted to get up close and personal so that she could see the pain on their faces.
"Offend the ballet and that would be very personal for them." Leo suggested.
She charged down the mountain and harassed them with arrows, shooting them in the legs, the hands, and some very sensitive places.
"Like what?" Hazel asked.
"From your eyes, I can tell you know them already." Piper said.
"That's low. Warrior should never attack such places!" Ares growled.
"But effective." Hermes said, giving a thumbs up to Artemis.
The twin giants tried to impale her with their massive spears, but she was too fast.
"And three of them danced ballet. Then Artemis agreed to marry both of them. They lived happily ever after." Dionysus said.
Finally she ran between the giants. They both stabbed at her, but she dodged at the last second, and the giants skewered each other.
Audiance broke into laughter.
"Effective. Giants can't be killed by a god or a demigod. But each other, they can." Athena said, after laughing madly.
Giants killed. Problem solved. It also made for a great blooper reel on Olympus's Funniest Battles.
"And comedy show of HephaestusTV." Hephaestus said.
Most of the time, though, Artemis let wild animals do the killing for her.
"We noticed." Frank said.
One time in the Greek city of Kalydon, this dude King Oineus forgot to make proper offerings to Artemis.
"He must have suffered painfully." Ares said gleefully.
It was harvest time. The Kalydonians were supposed to offer the first fruits of their labors to the gods.
"Its better than sacrificing animals or worst, humans and dogs." Annabeth nodded.
They poured out olive oil for Athena.
Athena smiled.
They burned some grain for Demeter.
Demeter nodded.
They sacrificed fish sticks with tartar sauce for Poseidon.
Poseidon gave a thumbs up.
But they forgot Artemis. All she wanted was a few apples from the orchards.
"For few apples, Arty? Siriusly?" Apollo asked.
She would've even settled for lemons. But her altar remained empty.
"They're so gonna get it." Hermes said.
"Okay," she grumbled to herself. "I might be dishonored, but I won't be unavenged!"
"Don't forget sacrifices to gods. You may have gruesome deaths. That's advice no 4344." Apollo said.
She summoned the most ferocious pig in the history of pigs.
"Then we have Percy Jackson in flesh." Jason grinned.
"Jason Grace, son of Zeus
You're making me confuse
Don't be traitorous." Percy sang.
This wild boar was the size of a rhinoceros. His eyes were bloodred and blazed with fire. His steel-thick hide was covered with bristles as rigid as spear shafts, so even if he just brushed up against you he would shred you like brisket.
"Would you mind giving him to me? As a present?" Ares asked.
His mouth shot lightning
"Are you involved in this, Zeus?" Poseidon asked.
and sour clouds of acid, withering and burning anything in his path, and his massive razor-sharp tusks…
Ares was completely taken by the beauty of the beast. (Not Beauty and the Beast)
well, if you got close enough to see the tusks, you were pretty much already toast.
"Wild boar toast." Grover said.
He was, in short, the Death Pig.
"Hades disguised as a pig, as a favour to Artemis." Dionysus drawled.
"I do no biddings of a lesser goddess." Hades whispered dangerously.
Artemis unleashed him on the fields of Kalydonia, where he uprooted all the orchards, trampled the fields, and killed all the animals, farmers, and any soldiers stupid enough to try fighting him.
"All that...for a few apples!' Leo imitated Thanos' voice.
At this point, King Oineus was really wishing he'd given Artemis some apples.
"If I didn't know any better, I would have said Artemis is Gwaine's mother." Grover said.
He turned to his son Meleager and said, "You're the best hunter in the kingdom, my son! What should we do?"
"Hunt the beast, duh!" Dionysus rolled his eyes dramatically.
"Hunt the boar!" said Meleager. "Artemis is the goddess of hunting, right? The only way she'll forgive us is if we launch the biggest and most dangerous hunt in history. If we bring down the boar with bravery and skill, surely she will forgive us."
"Nah, she won't be satisfied that easy." Demeter said. "This is Artemis we talking about."
King Oineus frowned. "Or she might get even angrier.
"Correct. She is wild an as unpredictable as Poseidon or me." Apollo said.
Besides, you can't possibly kill that monster yourself!"
Audiance nodded.
"Not by myself," Meleager agreed. "I'll summon all the best hunters in Greece!"
"Smart move." Athena said.
The king spread the word and offered rewards. Pretty soon hunters from all over the world flocked to Kalydon. They put on the First Annual and Hopefully Last Annual Kalydonian Boar Hunt.
"Winner gets the grand prize!" Hermes grinned.
Artemis didn't make it easy on them. One guy named Mopsos, who was the strongest spear thrower in Greece, launched his spear at the boar with enough force to crack a bronze shield. Artemis caused the point of the spear to fall off in midflight. The spear shaft just bounced harmlessly off the monster.
"Cheers for lady Artemis!" Piper said sarcastically
Another hunter named Ankaios laughed at him. "That's no way to fight the Death Pig! Watch and learn!" He hefted his double-bladed ax. "I'll show you how a real man fights! This girlie goddess's boar is no match for me."
"Boasting brings you nowhere near killing that boar." Thalia shook her head.
He charged in, raising his ax above his head, and the boar rammed his tusk straight into Ankaios's crotch.
"Lived as a real man, died as a - I don't like to say it." Piper said.
Ankaios died, and he was remembered forever after as the Crotchless Wonder.
"Crotchless wonder? The eighth wonder of the world!" Leo chocked through the laughter."
Finally Prince Meleager himself slew the boar with a lot of help from his friends.
"Hooray!" Demigods cheered.
That was brave and all, but Artemis still wasn't satisfied.
"Told you." Demeter said.
She filled the other hunters with envy.
"And Percy claims me as the psychopath." Apollo said.
Meleager skinned the boar and hung its hide in the palace as the grand prize of the hunt, but fighting broke out over who really deserved credit for the kill.
"Go on." Zeus said.
The argument turned into a full-scale civil war. Hundreds of people died, all because the king forgot to give Artemis some fruit.
"A temper issue of a goddess, and hundreds of people died. All for some fruit." Nico said. "I highly doubt only males were the ones who got killed."
"And don't try turning my son into a jackelope for speaking truth, Artemis." Hades said, flaring his dark aura. Artemis gritted her teeth.
Seriously, it's only twelve gods. Next time make a checklist, ,Oineus.
"Lets blame the old king for the whole thing." Piper said.
So, yeah. If you forgot to make sacrifices, Artemis might kill you.
"And your people." Frank added
But if you really wanted to guarantee yourself a painful death, invade her personal space.
"I love my precious little life right where it is." Leo said.
A hunter named Actaeon made that mistake. The weird thing was, he really respected Artemis.
"And one day, would Percy Jackson get painfully killed due to the amazing amount of Pertemis fanfictions?" Aphrodite wondered.
He always made his sacrifices to her on time. He dedicated his best kills to the goddess and tried to be a good hunter.
"May be he prayed for a painless death?" Grover suggested.
He'd been raised and trained by Chiron himself, the famous centaur who taught all the best Greek heroes. (Cough, me, cough.)
"Males are full with themselves." Artemis said.
Actaeon kept a pack of fifty dogs. When he wasn't at Chiron's cave learning hero stuff, Actaeon was out with his dogs, tracking down dangerous creatures and bringing home the wild boar bacon.
"Like his followers, Asterix and Odyssey." Dionysus said.
One night he was in the mountains, exhausted from a hard day of hunting. He lay down to sleep on a rock overlooking a lake with a waterfall.
"Sweet dreams. The last sleep of your life." Hermes said.
His dogs curled up in the meadow behind him.
"Like loyal followers, eh?" Hephaestus asked.
He pulled his blanket over his head and went to sleep, only to wake in the morning to the sound of voices.
"Hey, a man trying to sleep, can't you whisper?" Leo asked.
Actaeon rubbed the sleep out of his eyes. He looked down at the lake and thought he was dreaming. A bunch of beautiful ladies were bathing in the waterfall, like, without clothes.
"Dream of every male, isn't that?" Artemis asked.
The most beautiful one looked exactly like the statues of Artemis that Actaeon had seen in the temples. She was tall with dark hair and brilliant silver eyes. The sight of her bathing made the blood roar in Actaeon's ears.
"It may sound creepy, but someone's in love!" Demeter said.
Now, if he'd just crept away right then, he might've been okay.
"Nope. She would find out anyway." Apollo said. "Hunters are connected to Artemis."
Artemis didn't realize he was there. Actaeon could have sneaked off and lived to a ripe old age with his secret and considered himself lucky. I mean…he wasn't being a stalker yet. He hadn't intended on spying.
"While I doubt about sneaking and live up to a ripe old life, stalking my sister isn't a great idea for him, unless he's ready for two bows." Apollo said.
But no. Of course not. Actaeon had to get greedy.
"Well, who can blame him? Artemis is exceptionally beautiful, and he was a hunter who worshipped her." Grover said dreamily.
"Shut your mouth if your life is worthy for you, Satyr." Artemis 'adviced'.
He kept watching. He fell in love with Artemis. He decided he had to marry her.
"Not with my permission." Apollo grinned dangerously.
"Not with mine either." Zeus joined him.
He knew she was an eternal maiden, sure. But she hadn't met him yet!
"He had a point." Frank muttered. "But it would be better meeting her when she is decent instead of stalking."
Actaeon respected her. He'd always sacrificed to her. He loved hunting and animals….They had so much in common. Why hadn't he thought about this before?
"He went blind with love." Hephaestus said, shaking his head.
He sprang up from his sleeping spot and yelled, "Forgive me, my lady!"
"Nice pick up line." Piper said.
The followers of Artemis screamed and scrambled to the shore to retrieve their clothes and their bows.
"The destroyer shall shed the blood of hunt." Poseidon said. "Perseus is bound to slaughter the hunt of Artemis."
"Then he will have to pay painfully before I slay him!" Artemis said.
"Your brother is the one who will slay him, to be slain at his hand also." Athena reminded.
Artemis narrowed her eyes. She made no attempt to cover herself. She walked toward Actaeon over the top of the water.
"Like the brave maiden she is." Thalia cheered.
"Who are you?" she demanded.
"You know who!" Leo said.
"Actaeon, my lady. I am a great hunter, and I have always worshipped you."
"Indeed?" Artemis didn't sound impressed. "Yet you spy on me while I am bathing?"
"That's because he worships you." Hermes said.
"That—that was an accident." Actaeon's neck started to feel itchy, like it was covered in fleas.
"He's being a chicken." Ares said.
He wasn't feeling so confident now, but it was too late to back out. "Your beauty…it has inspired me to speak. I must have you! Marry me!"
"Wrong thing to say, she would think that he treats her like a prey." Hermes said.
Artemis tilted her head. A silver aura glowed around her entire body.
"You must have me," she said. "You think I am your prey?"
"I wonder if its the way Artemis thinks about love affairs." Aphrodite said.
"N-no, my lady."
"You think you are the hunter, and I am some prize to bring down with your pack of dogs?"
"Well, no. But—"
"Say it punk!" Ares said.
"Let me enlighten you, Actaeon," said the goddess. "I am the hunter. I am always the hunter. You are the prey. No man who has seen me naked may live."
"Get ready to get murdered, brutally." Frank mumbled.
Actaeon's body writhed with pain. Just above his eyes, his forehead split open and sprouted two heavy antlers. His fingers fused together into cloven hooves. His back bent and stretched. His legs narrowed. His boots shrank and hardened into hooves.
"She's turning him into a deer!" Hestia gasped.
Actaeon became a deer—a beautiful sixteen-point buck.
"That's the beginning of one of her favourite hobbies. Turning men into animals and let her dogs hunt them." Apollo said.
Artemis made a high-pitched whistling noise. Actaeon's pack of fifty dogs stirred from their sleep. They didn't smell their master anywhere, but wow, that huge deer smelled great!
"Poor dogs wouldn't know they killed their master." Hazel said.
Actaeon tried to command his dogs to stay, but he had no voice.
"Checkmate, punk!" Ares was drinking root beer.
They didn't recognize him. He bolted, as deer usually do, but the dogs were too fast.
"Unfortunately for him." Jason said.
They tore their old master into tiny pieces.
"Way to go, Artemis." Ares cheered.
When the dogs were done, they looked around for Actaeon. They couldn't find him anywhere.
"In your bellies?" Hermes suggested.
They bayed and whined and got very sad, but finally they made their way back home to Chiron's cave.
"Back to home chaps, are we?" Leo asked.
The centaur saw the pieces of Actaeon's clothing stuck in their teeth and the blood on their fur, and he figured out what must have happened.
"That Actaeon was ripped to pieces, for the crime of falling in love with Artemis."
He had warned that stupid kid not to mess with Artemis.
"This is why you should always listen to Chiron." Annabeth said.
To make the dogs feel better, he made a fake Actaeon dummy out of the hunter's old clothes, like a scarecrow, so the dogs would think that their master was still around.
"Poor dogs." Piper said.
I guess that was nice of Chiron, for the dogs' sake, but it kind of makes me wonder if he's got a Percy Jackson scarecrow stuffed in a closet somewhere for emergencies.
"Are you planning to sneak upon the hunt, Perseus Jackson?" Artemis asked. "I assure you, you shall return to camp as no man, if you did so." She smirked.
I'm not sure I want to know.
"You should ask him, though." Jason said.
That wasn't the only time a guy spotted Artemis bathing. The next time it was a boy named Sipriotes,
"Ah, she was a great huntress." Artemis said.
"She?" Hazel asked.
"You'll see." Thalia said.
who was just wandering along and wound up in the wrong place at the wrong time.
"That happens when you involve with gods." Frank said.
When he saw the naked goddess, he yelped in surprise; but he was just a kid. He didn't ask to marry her.
"Thankfully." Jason said.
He just fell to his knees and begged for mercy. "Please, lady," he whimpered. "I didn't mean it. Don't turn me into a deer and have me ripped apart by dogs!"
"Oh!" Hephaestus exclaimed. "He had heard of Actaeon!"
Artemis felt bad. She was the protector of young children, after all.
"Nah, I think she felt bad because the kid really meant that he didn't stalk her." Demeter said. "Am I right?"
"Yes." Artemis nodded.
"Well, Sipriotes," she said, "here's the problem. No male can gaze upon me naked and live."
"Protector of young children, you say?" Hermes asked. "If so, she should have left him alone."
"But—but—"
"Since you're male, I have to kill you. Unless, of course, you weren't male…."
"Forced genderbending under a threat of death. Nice going there." Dionysus muttered.
"To the well-organized mind, death is but the next great adventure." Nico said.
"A thing which you would say, death breath." Thalia said.
"Since our deaths are unevitable, we all should have get ready for that journey." Nico replied. "Which by the way, said by Albus Dumbledore."
Sipriotes blinked. "You mean…wait. What?"
"Poor boy must have been confused and afraid." Piper said.
"Death or gender change. Your choice."
"There are no choices. Just turn him into a girl." Hades drawled.
It wasn't much of a choice. Sipriotes didn't want to die. So Shazam! Artemis turned him into a her, and the girl Sipriotes lived happily ever after with the hunters of Artemis.
"She died in seventeenth century though." Artemis said.
Weird enough for you? Oh, it gets weirder!
"Whoop dee doo!" Dionysus cheered.
Another time one of Artemis's followers, a girl named Kallisto, caught the eye of Zeus.
"Poor girl." Poseidon immediately sympathized for her.
Now, Artemis's followers were supposed to be off-limits, but this is Zeus we're talking about. Also, Kallisto was a real knockout.
"Zeus wouldn't pass it up." Apollo said.
She was Artemis's favorite follower at the time. They were so much alike—both swift and strong, totally not interested in guys.
"Are you hinting something, Percy?" Aphrodite asked flirtatiously.
"Aphrodite, the lady of love
I hereby swear this
No hints there." Percy sang.
They became best friends as soon as Kallisto joined the Hunt. Like all followers of Artemis, Kallisto had sworn to stay a maiden forever, but Zeus had other ideas.
"Get on with it." Hera signed. She looked like she had just gulped a long stick.
One day he looked down from Olympus and saw Kallisto alone in a clearing, relaxing and enjoying the sunshine.
"This is my chance!" he told himself. "I just have to figure out a way to get close to her so she doesn't run off. That girl is fast. Hmm…"
Zeus changed form so he looked exactly like Artemis.
"That's creepy." After a long silence, Piper muttered.
I know—a total creep move, right? But like I said, the guy had no shame when it came to catching women. He would even pretend to be his own daughter.
Artemis' eyes dangerously shined.
Fake Artemis came sauntering into the clearing. "Hey, Kallisto. Whatcha doing?"
"Oh nothing, just enjoying sunshine and thinking hatefully about creep gods like Zeus." Leo said.
"My lady!" Kallisto leaped to her feet. "I was just resting."
"Major creep alert." Thalia said.
"Can I join you?" asked Fake Artemis.
"No, thanks." Demeter said.
Kallisto noticed something strange about the look in the goddess's eyes, but she said, "Um, sure."
Fake Artemis came closer. She took Kallisto's hand. "You're very beautiful, you know."
"That sounds really creepy." Thalia said, looking at Artemis. She knew Artemis banished Kallisto.
Fake Artemis kissed her, and I'm not talking about a friendly peck on the cheek.
"We know." Jason said shortly.
Kallisto struggled and tried to pull back, but Zeus held her tight, and he was stronger.
"A little huntress vs god of sky?" Ares scoffed.
"My lady!" Kallisto shrieked. "What are you doing?"
"Oh just nothing, ruining your life." Dionysus drawled.
Zeus changed into his true self, and Kallisto shrieked even louder.
"What?" Poseidon roared with laughter. "Is he hideous or something?"
"Now, now," the sky god said. "Artemis doesn't need to know, my dear. It'll be our little secret!"
"But she would know, eventually." Thalia said. Her dislike of father just boosted by tenfold.
So Zeus once again proved himself a godly slimeball. Yeah, sure, he might hear me and get mad.
Actually, the king of gods kept his mouth shut, due to the uneasy silence in the crowd and Hera's red face which was radiating fear.
It won't be the first time I've taken a chance with Mr. Thunder. But, hey, I call 'em like I see 'em.
"I agree you with all my heart." Grover said.
If the real Artemis had been within earshot, she would've come running to help Kallisto.
"I would." Artemis said coldly.
Unfortunately, Kallisto was all by herself. Zeus got his way.
Afterward, Kallisto was too ashamed to say anything. She was afraid it was somehow her fault.
"That's what most of rape victims feel." Dionysus said.
Pro tip: If you're attacked by a creep, it's never your fault. Tell somebody.
"Attack victims don't think so, Percy." Apollo said. "At most of times."
But Kallisto kept her secret as long as she could. She tried to pretend nothing had happened.
"That wouldn't be successful." Hera said. She felt somewhat sad for this woman.
Sadly, she was pregnant. She couldn't hide that forever. A few months later, after a hot day chasing down monsters, Artemis and the gang wanted to go swimming.
"Ahh, fun things in the hunt." Thalia said.
They all jumped in the lake except Kallisto.
"Because she is pregnant." Hazel said.
"What's wrong?" Artemis called. "Come on!"
Kallisto blushed. She put her hand on her belly, which was starting to swell. She didn't dare take off her clothes, or Artemis would notice.
Artemis kept her silence. Such stupid, such loyal...
Artemis sensed the problem anyway. Suddenly she realized why Kallisto had been so distant and sad recently.
The goddess's heart sank.
"You, Kallisto?" she asked. "Of all my followers, you broke your vow?"
"Wow. She worries about the vow at first, not her follower." Piper muttered.
"In her defence, she might have thought that Kallisto did this with her own will." Thalia said.
"I—I didn't mean to!" Kallisto said. A tear rolled down her cheek.
"Who was it?" Artemis demanded. "A handsome warrior? A smooth-talking hero? My brother, Apollo?
"Yeah, at least I'm the third suspect." Apollo said sarcastically.
Oh, no…please tell me it wasn't him."
"It wasn't me!" Apollo exclaimed.
"It—it was you!" Kallisto wailed.
"Surprise!" Ares yelled.
Artemis stared at her. "Run that by me again."
Kallisto told the story of how Zeus had appeared to her in Artemis's form.
The goddess burned with rage. She wanted to throttle her father Zeus,
"I sense a but coming." Frank said.
but there's only so much you can do when your dad is the king of the universe.
"Another example to 'Power is power'." Poseidon said, much to the dislike of Athena, Hephaestus, Apollo and Annabeth.
She looked at Kallisto and shook her head in pity.
"You were my favorite," Artemis said. "If you had come to me immediately, I could have helped you.
"I feel a gruesome end for that girl. Or is it me?" Aphrodite asked.
I would have found you a rich, handsome husband and let you settle into a new life in the city of your choice.
"Artemis wouldn't now, because the girl bottled up everything inside of her." Nico realised. ""Now it would be a punishment."
I would have allowed you to retire from the Hunt with honor. You could have gone in peace. Zeus's assault was not your fault."
"Its not her fault." Hazel sadly nodded.
Kallisto sobbed. "But I didn't want to lose you! I wanted to stay!"
"Despite her loyalty, she still brutally punished her for keeping the secret." Frank shook his head.
Artemis felt like her heart was breaking, but she couldn't show it.
"I couldn't bear the separation of a dear huntress." Artemis said. "I felt like she betrayed me."
She had rules about her followers. She couldn't allow those rules to be broken, not even by her best friend. "Kallisto, your crime was keeping the secret from me. You dishonored me, and your sisters of the Hunt, by not being honest. You defiled our company of maidens when you were not a maiden yourself. That I cannot forgive."
" After the birth of children, you could have took her to Kanathos." Hera said, taking pity on the young no-longer maiden. "Then let the children grow up in hunt, then leave them for their destinies."
"But…but, Artemis—"
"No more talk!" Artemis pointed at Kallisto, and the young lady began to change. She grew in size. Her limbs became shorter and thicker. Her clothes, which had helped her hide her condition, became a suffocating thick coat of brown fur. Kallisto turned into a brown bear.
"Its totally cool to turn your hunter into a bear who hated to leave the hunt due to your father's...actions, because she bottled up the entire thing because she is mentally unstable." Nico whispered venomously.
When she tried to talk, she could only roar.
"Well, she is a bear now." Hermes said.
"Go, now," Artemis said, trying not to cry. "Your new shape will remind you that you can never be in my sight. If I see you again, I must kill you. LEAVE!"
"Nice way to show your mercy to your former partner." Piper muttered under her breath.
Kallisto bounded away through the woods. She gave birth to a human son named Arkas, who returned to the world of mortals and eventually became a king.
"Ursa Minor, too." Zeus muttered.
But soon after, poor Kallisto was killed by hunters.
"Zoe said something about Ursa Maor being a worthy opponent." Grover reminded. "I think the hunters of Artemis were the ones who killed Kallisto. Kind of Karma, right?"
"Totally." Piper agreed. "She killed Actaeon using his own dogs, her favourite hunter Kallisto died at the hands of her own handmaidens."
Zeus felt some remorse.
"After all things he had done, he should be." Hestia said quietly.
He turned Kallisto into a constellation, Ursa Major, or the Big Bear—as if that could make up for ruining her life.
"At least Zeus, of all people did it. Artemis did nothing but destroyed her and threw her away from her life after the so called betrayal. She never felt any remorse as I'm aware. Are her acts justified as mere punishments for breaking her oath?" Nico asked.
Kind of strange: after the incident with Kallisto, Artemis's next two best friends were both guys.
"Why?" Hazel asked.
I'm not sure why. Maybe she figured they couldn't hurt her any worse than Kallisto had, or if they did, at least she wouldn't be surprised, since guys were naturally jerks.
"They were both men and hunters who stayed out of my hunters' way."Artemis said. "Orion was, before Gaea cursed him. Now there's no hope for him."
"Well, now Gaea was destroyed, I and Dionysus can try something, if you really want." Aphrodite said (after a short pause), giving a pleading look at Dionysus.
"Fine!" Dionysus drawled. "If only she agrees."
After a short pause, Artemis nodded.
Or maybe she was trying to prove to herself that she would never go back on her own vow of maidenhood, even with the most interesting guy she could find.
"I don't need to prove myself to me, throwing up myself to some male." Artemis deadpanned.
Her first male friend was Orion, who had a shady past.
"Bane of Artemis." Thalia muttered. Nico narrowed his eyes. They had trouble with Orion.
For one thing, he was a giant. But he was short for a giant, maybe seven feet tall, and he looked humanoid enough that he could almost pass for a mortal.
"Unlike his other relatives." Jason said.
For a long time he worked for the king of Chios as the royal hunter.
"Then?" Frank asked.
Then Orion got in a little trouble with the king's daughter.
"From what Orion told, she fancied her for a long time, but he didn't. So she planned the meeting and got him caught by her father's soldiers. After the horrible experience, he decided to stay a virgin forever." Artemis said.
When the king found out, he had Orion blinded with a searing hot iron. Then he kicked him out of the kingdom.
"Like yesterday trash." Poseidon said.
Orion stumbled around Greece until he happened to run into the blacksmith god Hephaestus.
"This is where I come in." Hephaestus said.
Orion told him his tragic story. The giant sounded genuinely sorry, so Hephaestus—who knew a lot about tragedy and second chances—
"Shall we call him god of second chances?" Hermes asked.
designed mechanical eyes that allowed Orion to see again.
"With some cool night vision." Hephaestus said.
Orion retired to Delos, where he met Artemis. She thought he was a nice-enough guy. He didn't try to hide his past crimes. He also had incredible hunting skills. His years of blindness had sharpened his other senses, and his mechanical eyes gave him all sorts of cool night vision/targeting abilities. He became the first male ever to join the Hunters of Artemis.
"Which by the way, a Guinness record." Piper said.
I'm not sure how the other followers felt about that. The Hunters had never been co-ed before.
"They hated him to the end of his life." Artemis said.
But Orion didn't try anything funny. He kept his distance from the girls when they were bathing. He helped out with the chores just like everybody else. Pretty soon he became fast friends with Artemis.
"Yippie!" Dionysus cheered.
The only problem: Orion was a little too good at hunting.
"Orion the once friendly giant
Is the bane of Artemis
Why else?" Percy sang.
One day he was out by himself, and he got carried away. He shot sixteen bears, twelve lions, and several monsters that he couldn't even name. Then he started shooting harmless stuff: deer, rabbits, squirrels, birds, wombats.
"He doesn't seem like himself." Artemis furrowed her eyebrows. "He loved to pet rabits and squirrels."
Maybe he just snapped. Maybe Apollo drove him crazy, because Apollo didn't like how much time this dude was spending with his sister.
"Not me! I swear I was in a party with Dionysus, Hermes and Ares." Apollo said.
"Not me too, before anyone suspect." Ares drawled. "God of bloodlust don't need to take out one of Artemis' lackeys."
Anyway, Orion soon had a mound of dead wombat carcasses piled up around him. He painted his face with squirrel blood
"Barbaric."
and put leaves in his hair and started screaming, "I will kill all the animals in the world! All of them! Die, stupid furry critters!"
"Totally out of character, if Artemis was right." Leo said. "Why don't we pin the blame on dirt face herself? This looks like more of her plan."
This didn't really fit with the Hunters' nature-friendly mission statement. It also didn't please Gaea the Earth Mother.
"I agree with Hephaestus' son for this once." Artemis said. "This seems to be Gaea's plan all along. Create a reason and then kill her own son."
Orion was screaming so loudly that he got her attention, even while she was sleeping, and Gaea muttered to herself: "You want to kill something, punk? Try this."
"She sounds like Ares!" Annabeth giggled.
Just behind Orion, a massive scorpion emerged from a fissure in the ground. The giant turned and got a poisonous stinger right in the chest.
"You miss, I hit." Grover said.
That was the end of Orion. Artemis went searching for him, and when she found his cold, lifeless body, surrounded (for some bizarre reason) by thousands of dead furry critters,
"That would have been a nice sight." Nico sarcastically said.
her heart was broken again. This time Artemis made a constellation. She put Orion in the sky, with a scorpion nearby, so his story would live forever.
"And he hunts every single constellation happily ever after." Dionysus said.
I guess the moral is: don't try to massacre bunnies, squirrels, and wombats. They didn't do anything to you, and you might find that they have a very big scorpion friend.
"In a nutshell, don't hurt innocents who have contacts with powerful individuals." Nico said.
Artemis's last best friend was a prince named Hippolytos. The guy was handsome and charming and had no interest in romance at all.
"Which annoyed me to the root." Aphrodite said.
He just wanted to spend all his time hunting. In other words, he was Artemis's perfect man.
"Naturally." Grover agreed.
She accepted him into the Hunt, which must have been a challenge for some of her female followers. The guy was a little too attractive for his own good.
"Yet he didn't look to get in to pants of my followers." Artemis said.
Still, Hippolytos was a model follower. He kept his vows and never gave the ladies a second look.
"This guy sound dutiful as Jason or Reyna." Leo said.
Not everybody liked this, though. Up on Olympus, Aphrodite the goddess of love was outraged.
"More like, puzzled." Aphrodite said.
"Are you kidding me?" she wailed. "A hot guy like that, hanging out with eighty beautiful women, and he's not interested? This is an insult! This is not okay!"
"Aphrodite has a point though." Zeus muttered quietly.
The next time Hippolytos went home to visit his dad, King Theseus
"That jerk!" Dionysus exclaimed.
(who is a whole other story, that dude), they got into this huge argument. Dad wanted Hippolytos to get married so he could have kids and carry on the family name when he became king, blah, blah, blah.
"He did have a point though." Hermes said.
Hippolytos said, "No! I want to stay with Artemis and hunt!"
Artemis smiled.
Theseus roared in frustration. "If you love her so much, why don't you marry her?"
"She is a maiden goddess, duh!" Apollo rolled his eyes.
"She's a maiden goddess, Dad! You never listen!"
"You sounded like some girl rejecting man there, dude." Hermes said.
The argument got more and more heated, because up in Olympus, Aphrodite was inflaming their passions. Sure, she was the goddess of love, but there really isn't much difference between love and hate. They both get out of control easily, and one turns into the other. Trust me. I know.
"That's why I and Ares are a good couple." Aphrodite said.
Finally, Theseus drew a sword and killed his own son.
"Should have seen that one coming." Dionysus said.
Whoops.
Of course the king was horribly ashamed. He placed the prince's body in the royal crypts and ran off to mourn in private.
Meanwhile, Artemis heard the news and came rushing to the tomb. Weeping with rage, she gathered up the body of Hippolytos. "No! No, no, no! I will not lose another best friend. I won't!"
"You were going to do the thing what I think?" Hades angrily growled.
She flew out of the city, carrying Hippolytos's body. She searched all of Greece until she found the best physician in the world—a guy named Asklepios.
"My son!" Apollo exclaimed.
He was a son of Apollo, the god of healing,
"One of the best." Hermes agreed.
but Asklepios was even better at healing than his dad.
"Not healing, medicine." Apollo said. "He became god of medicine after being immortalized."
Probably that was because Asklepios spent all his time actually healing, while Apollo flirted and gave concerts in the park.
"Nope. I taught him for seven years, then he did his own researchs and such." Apollo said. "I'm so proud of him." He added.
"Aunt Artemis!" said Asklepios. "Good to see you!"
"And hello to you too." Hazel said.
Artemis laid the body of Hippolytos at his feet. "Asklepios, I need you to heal Hippolytos. Please! This is beyond even my powers."
"Even? Wow Percy, trying to make Artemis look like she is the goddess of healing while underrating Apollo?" Nico asked.
"Hmm," Asklepios said. "What's wrong with him?"
"He's dead." Zeus said.
"He's dead," Artemis said.
"Like father, like daughter." Hestia said sweetly.
"That's a serious condition. It's almost always fatal. But I'll see what I can do."
"Nice guy. Gave Jason his glasses too." Leo reminded. "And helped me to remain alive, of course."
Asklepios mixed some herbs, cooked a potion, and force-fed it to the dead prince, who immediately woke up.
Hades glared at Artemis.
"Thank the Fates!" Artemis said. "Asklepios, you're the best!"
"He know." Demeter said.
"Hey, no problem."
Actually, it was a problem. Aphrodite complained to Zeus. She was such a sore loser.
"Actually, I didn't. It was Hades." Aphrodite said. "I dropped the case after things went off my hands and Hippo died."
Then Hades complained.
"It destroys order of the underworld." Hades drawled.
Asklepios couldn't go around bringing the dead back to life.
"No he can't. That's unwise." Nico said.
That would cause chaos in the mortal world and the Underworld. Zeus agreed. He zapped Asklepios with lightning and killed him,
Apollo turned his face away from others.
which is why you can't go to the doctor today and ask him to resurrect your dead relatives.
"And he is not skilled enough, of course." Hermes added.
Zeus declared that level of medicine off-limits.
As for Hippolytos, Artemis made sure he stayed safe. She whisked him off to Italy, where he became a priest at one of her sacred shrines and lived to a ripe old age.
"And died for a second time." Hephaestus added.
After that, Artemis decided not to get too close to any of her followers. It was just too dangerous for them. She also became wary about inviting any more men into the Hunt.
"The males which she considers good becomes a man; who must have no romantic feelings, hunting skills and utter respect towards Artemis and all." Athena said.
That's okay with me. I like Artemis, but I don't do well with nature. Also, I don't like hunting.
"Which demotes you to a male." Artemis said. "I have to burn all those Pertemis fanfictions and punish the writers."
I do like girls, but my girlfriend would not be okay with me hanging out with eighty beautiful women in the wilderness.
"You better need to remind that." Annabeth said.
She's kind of possessive that way.
"Yeah, she is." Nico muttered, while Annabeth smirked.
"You're up Hermes." Artemis said, sending the book without a glance to Hermes. Hermes' eyes glinted mischeivously.
...
A/N
99 followers! On the verge of having hundred followers in a month! I love you guys so much, for standing with me in this.
I hope that I did Artemis ok. Artemis fans, please no flames. *Takes that dress from Ares, which by the way, is fire proof and puts on.*
We have only two gods to go. Be ready for the mischeif of Hermes!
There are hidden ideas in the story, if anyone like to take one of those and make fics, I'd be honoured.
Stay safe, take care. Good bye for now.