Chapter Twenty Two: Be Prepared

The waiting room is surprisingly quiet. When I got here the nurse ushered me into it, to sit on a hard and plastic chair. I was going out of my head waiting for some form of answer.

Carlisle was somewhere in the halls of his hospital shouting at staff to save his son. Ironically the ambulance had brought him to the place he was fighting to not return to.

Esme sat beside me staring blankly at the TV. An old rerun of Doctor Phil was running. Never did I think I'd have a life more miserable than his guests, yet here I am.

Edward was in surgery.

The other driver didn't survive. He had been drinking when he swerved, taking everything with him. In a blink of an eye my world was in jeopardy. I should have stayed on the phone till he pulled over.

Emmett and Alice rush into the emergency room, Jasper helping Rosalie as she holds her pregnant stomach. While Edward's siblings rush their mum, Rosalie makes a beeline for me, hugging me tightly.

"I'm so sorry. He'll be okay. There's no way he won't come back to you," she whispers, "his love for you is so strong."

"I did this," I whisper, "he was so angry with his dad and I let him hang up. I should have pushed harder to make him just pull over."

"Don't you even dare," she hisses, "Don't you even dare blame yourself."

Jasper sits beside me putting his arm around me too, rubbing my back. I wonder why he isn't comforting Alice but she is rushing out of the room promising to return with coffee.

"I can't do this without him. Life. We were moving in together. This was just that start," I mutter.

"And there's no way this is coming to an end," Rosalie takes both my hands in hers, "he will recover, Bella."

Carlisle enters the room looking stressed, he sits beside his wife letting out a long breath.

"He's out of surgery. The surgeon said he stopped the internal bleeding," Carlisle takes Esme's hand.

"Can I see him?" She asks.

I want to demand I go first - but it's his mother.

"In a short while," Carlisle nods.

"What did you even say to him? He came in so happy and then all of a sudden doors were slamming and his car tore out of the driveway," Esme glares at him.

"I suggested he come back here. I just think he could do better," Carlisle starts.

"It's because he was doing so well. The private hospital were singing his praises and you got jealous," Esme snaps at him, "this is your son and it's time you stop shoving your opinion down his throat. Trust he has this under control. You can't stop him from making mistakes. You just need to be here to help when he does."

"Esme," Carlisle sighs, taking her hand but she pulls it back.

A surgeon with black hair enters the room smiling sadly at us.

"Doctor Cullen, he can have family now. Two at a time if possible," she says.

Esme's tired eyes turn to me.

"Bella, lets go. Edward's father has some thinking to do," she stands holding her hand out to me.

For a moment I smile up at her, loving the feeling of her hand in mine. Feeling like someone in this room is just as terrified as I am. We stay like that until we find his room, then she lets my hand go rushing to her son. She leans down over him crying, kissing his face.

I stand at the door in shock, tears rolling down my face. Hands covering my face in devastation. I can't get my legs to move closer.

He is covered in chords, connected to different machines. His life support machine shows the movement of his heart, keeping him alive. Bruises cover his beautiful face, a cut on his forehead.

"Bella," Esme whispers through sobs, "it's okay. I'm here. He needs you."

It takes a lot to take one step in front of the other but I build up the courage with each one. When I get there I sit on the bed beside him and take his hand in mine.

"Don't go," I croak, "I need you."

I wait for his hand to squeeze mine.

It doesn't.

Esme had gone in search of more coffee, I opted to stay. Just in case he woke up. I hold his hand squeezing it gently every ten minutes or so as I sit in the chair beside his bed.

"We met just a few doors down," I am moments from breaking apart, "I made the dumbest attempt at flirting with you. It was pathetic and I knew I'd never get a guy like you to notice me. But you eventually did after a heap of fight."

Like a hawk I watch his face waiting for movement. A flutter of an eyelash, the tightening of his jay - movements I never thought I'd miss or value.

"Bella," Carlisle enters the room.

He looks heartbroken. I can see his injured son and his argument is taking a toll on him.

"My mum and I had the biggest fight before I left," I start, "she didn't want me moving. She was terrified I would fail because of the choice. She tried to stop me from making it but she couldn't because I wanted it."

"I bet you think I'm terrible," he huffs slowly entering the room, "what sort of Father refuses to listen. But when I was his age I was half the surgeon he is. I want the best for him because he worked so hard. When all that ex girlfriend crap happened he lost sight so when I heard about you I feared it would happen all over again."

"I don't want him to compromise anything for me," I shake my head.

"I know you love him. I see that now but I guess I worried his loving you back would end him," he sighs, "Now I see that it made him better. He was happier at work, before he left that is. But when I saw he was doing so well I guess I got concerned. I wanted him to go see success in New York then return, so that everyone would come for the big surgeon. But then he started to do amazing work anyway and I wanted that back. I got greedy and now that may cost me losing him all together."

"We fight with our parents," I shrug, "it's what we do as soon as we can talk. You thought you knew best and perhaps what you had planned was best. But Edward also knows best, it's a different best."

"You're the best," Carlisle nods, "I wish I could have seen that earlier. I'm terribly sorry."

"It's not me you have to apologise to," I say.

"It is," he nods.

"I've apologised to him already. I hope somewhere in there he can hear me. But you need an apology too," he says, "for my behaviour and for what's to come."

"What do you mean?" I shake my head confused.

"His life support is helping him right now. If he can't wake up on his own we'll need to switch it off. If it gets to the point where things look bad Esme and I will need to consider this and I'm saying sorry now for when you hate us for the decision we come to," he can't even look at me.

"What," I stammer our, "you can't. You have to give him a chance."

"Bella, we're going to give him the chance. But if he can't recover I just need you to prepare yourself," he says, "know that the chance of him waking up is the same as him not."

When he leaves the room I rest my head on his arms and cry, breaking down into uncontrollable sobs.

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