Rendezvous
All the nuisance from Megumi's accident lead Shinomiya to learn that her existence in his life filled him up too much for him to live without.
At first, his hate for that hospitality of hers only sprouted because it was something he could barely incorporate into his own cooking. Then again, that could be his pride being obstinate of a concept, that if he was shooting for another breakthrough, he needed someone's help.
And so he thought perhaps, he only considered Megumi as a temporary partner in the kitchen, but then...
Being with her redefined his philosophy to cooking... that there was more to it, something much bigger than his unfathomable ambitions. She taught him the value of working hand in hand with someone else, that if he cared enough for the people around him who can support his dreams, it could fill the void that caused his stagnation.
As they share recipe ideas and dive into their daily small talks, he unravels every beautiful thing about her. Her untainted motives, her passion towards local cuisine, her selflessness to the people she loves, or even the so-called imperfections like her dopey antics when she's nervous, her blockheaded traits, and most especially the lack of cofidence... They all lured him in until his dependence on her already hit a high level enough to scold her if she doesn't reply to his messages.
So when that accident occurred, it broke him.
During Megumi's comatosed state, he latently drafted a future without her, and for once, his dreams of gaining culinary stars, do not seem as tasteful as his vision of receiving an award, and ending the day with a warm meal with her.
By then he realized how much he doesn't want to cook without her anymore. May it be through a collaborative dish, or a recipe inspired by her, or serving her his own creation for her childlike personality to bud out.
By then, he also realized, how a walk in the park doesn't feel lonely anymore with her alongside him, or how her pristine eyes spell out her concern as she tends to his loose red neckerchief so it won't distract him while he's cooking, or how she eases his agitations with a genuine smile.
He wanted all of it... All of her... He wanted her very existence in his life, and he was willing to delay gratification if it rewards him of a life with her after that.
Shinomiya would ponder on these thoughts each day, and he does it now as he waited for Megumi's reply.
"Take your time..." he followed after a minute of silence passed.
"I'm sorry... Let me have a moment." said Megumi distantly.
Shinomiya watched her mouth quiver and divert from his gaze. Being more straightforward must be eating her so much, that she searched for her next words on the table. Not that he expected her to openly accept what her mind is delving into right now.
That accident put a screw into his head that anything he says or does that involves their relationship is risky at any angle, but there's actually one thing he can do, and that is to at least stay true to it.
He doesn't give a damn if her brain threw him out of her system. The memories she had with him are just as good as his, and he can claim every right not to deny them.
All she needs to do is ask...
Which is what she did earlier... Something that he may have been patiently waiting for, extending his stay in Tokyo, all for this moment, and he wasn't about to throw it all away.
The light autumn breeze drifted into the room, and the coldness of it tipped on Megumi's nose. She shivered a bit, but did not break a single second of her last night in Paris with her senpai from attempting to sink in.
I... really like you...
I like you so much... I don't even know what to do...
...if it was up to me, I would force you to be with me everyday...
Can we take it slow for now..?
Can we take our time accepting each other's feelings while we figure it all out little by little?
Another memory followed, but her last night in Paris, with him, and how they craved for each other's embrace, it was more than enough for her to comprehend everything... Her growing interest towards him, how her heart skips for any signs of affection, and how his dominating presence doesn't daunt her, but rather, soothes her from all her worries. It was her body most likely reacting to how it used to when they're together.
"I... I don't know..." Her forefinger touched her tea cup, and then a whole flashback of him reeled in a second. It was before the Regiment de Cuisine. They were also drinking tea like this, but it seems like he was comforting her.
"Last night you asked if I could fill you in." Shinomiya stirred the tea his cup. "Go on. Tell me what you want to know now that you're starting to remember a thing or two."
The simple act of him emptying his cup and placing it on the side lurched in another memory. He did the same thing to his cup when they spent an afternoon at a little cafe in Paris, as they shared a few french pastries.
Megumi jumbled with how this should be dealt with, along with these memories registering one after another.
Focus on finishing Totsuki for now, and then... we'll quickly pick it up from there...
It scared her.
If you want to know... This afternoon, was a glimpse of how it used to be... every moment of it.
That scared her... because she's now pushed unto a pedestal where even though the accident may or may not be her fault, it ended all the good and the bad times they both had. She can't take it upon herself that he had to digest being that one person she can't remember all this time, and perhaps it might have been harder for him, if his feelings for her remained through it all.
It scared her that she might have possibly hurt him...
She clenched unto her yukata tightly that her fingers dug on her lap. It was right for him not to tell her anything until she recalled a few things. How can he convince her that they were entertaining an idea that's most likely unacceptable to society? They probably created a hopeful yet safe space for themselves, where they could still be happy. They did so, with and despite all the restraints between them.
That's what she needed to find out though... Does that safe space still exist? He might still care for her, but does he still have feelings for her?
Megumi breathed in deeply, and heaved all the air out to lessen the intensity of it all.
"Senpai, do you--"
A knock on the door cut her, and it abruptly killed the heavy atmosphere.
"Sorry... Let me get that." Megumi scrambled up, and slid the door open, only to see the manager.
"Tadokoro-san, I apologize for this... We have guests who would like to meet you..." she bowed. "I could make up some excuse, but, they're supposed to be guests invited by the owner himself."
"Oh... Umm... No worries at all... Hold on." Megumi closed the door and turned back to Shinomiya.
"Senpai, it's the manager asking for my help. It's a little urgent. Is it alright if we talk more about this later?"
Shinomiya appeared as if he's about to be deserted, but then he picked up a magazine then said. "Let's continue later."
Megumi forced a faint smile then reluctantly left the room.
The manager profusely apologized to her promising to compensate her for it.
"Don't worry about it... You caught me at the right moment." Megumi cheerfully reassured the manager as they walked through the hallways.
Besides, she didn't store enough strength for a confrontation between her and her senpai, but still, leaving him hanging felt quite remorseful.
This won't take too long anyway... I can run back after this...
They reach the entrance of the assigned guest room for the ryokan's VIPs.
The manager followed the standard steps of courtesy upon entering a guest's room, by which she slightly opened the sliding door with only enough space for one person to go in so they could step in a linear fashion. The manager advanced ahead while Megumi hid behind her. The former proceeded unto her spiel of thanking the guests, and introducing Megumi.
Upon that cue, Megumi traipsed in, and once again, she's stricken at the sight and her defense crumbled.
Sometimes Megumi loses her faith because of this, or maybe she prayed too hard for strength, that she is granted circumstances like these for her to be strong instead.
"Aww... Our cute little chef must be starstruck by you, babe." The young man wrapped his arms around the gorgeous woman beside him, planting a kiss on her cheek.
The woman flirtily kissed him back then somehow sophisticatedly got up on her feet.
"To think our meal was prepared by a top student at Totsuki... with such a pretty face too." The woman stretched out her hand. "I am Amy Tendo. I'm always in the look-out for rising chefs like you, Tadokoro Megumi."
Megumi unyieldingly shook Amy's hand. The last scenes before the vehicle hit her in the accident haphazardly played in her mind. Those final moments... were all about this woman right before her.
"Tadokoro-chan..." The manager spoke with much contrite. "Sorry, I hope you don't mind. We served them the same meal as that given to your friends. Since they both wanted something new, and there were were enough servings for two..."
"It's alright." Megumi rigidly cut the manager. "I'm glad our guests liked it."
But it wasn't alright... Every single ingredient, each of those courses, from the appetizers down to the dessert, and even the specific drink to match it, she all thoughtfully prepared it all for her senpai... and for this woman to eat the same dish, it added salt to Megumi's already wounded state.
The man stood up then threw himself unto Amy hugging her from behind, by which she leaned back to close every gap between them.
Even Megumi can tell that the closeness between the two was too much to be viewed as friendship.
She swallowed through the sudden rage, bottling it in, warning herself that she's here to help the ryokan and nothing else. She can't make a scene. Just as how she behaves at their ryokan at home, no matter what happens, guests should be treated with much hospitality.
"That kaiseki was amazing." Amy complimented. "I hope I get to taste your other dishes in the future."
"T-thank you..." Megumi struggled, gripping unto the sleeves of her yukata as all the missing pieces of her memories flowed in.
Amy playfully separated herself from her companion to fetch on her purse. She neatly took out a card then extended it to Megumi with both her hands. "Please take my card. I know a star chef when I see one. Call me if you need anything when you graduate."
Megumi obligingly bowed clipping the card, biting her lip. All these events that she's forced to absorb within the last thirty minutes...
First, the confrontation with her senpai.
Second, meeting this woman.
You two seem close. Are you both dating?
It's safe to say we're doing more than that?
She remembered that interview too well at this point.
Third, she sees the very same woman shamelessly close to latching herself to another man, and both consumed a meal that's only supposed to be for her senpai and his friends. Megumi read rumors about a budding relationship between this woman and her senpai.
So what is she doing with this man..?
Moreover, is her senpai playing with her heart in the process?
"Umm... Sorry... I need to go... It was nice meeting you..."
She excused herself, briskly striding away from the room, and without anyone noticing, she barged into her own then nimbly changed into her casual clothes and grabbed all of her things.
She asked (or more like demanded) for a cab to drive her back to the dorm before curfew strikes. The manager quickly fulfilled her request without any question by providing with her the ryokan's car service. Megumi only aimed to escape, away from everything.
As soon as the car passed the gates of the ryokan, all her frustrations burst out into tears.
Her phone kept ringing from Shinomiya's calls, but she would decline them, not having the will nor the voice to answer. She turned off her phone, now only hearing her own sobs.
The driver offered her some tissues when they reached a traffic light, and he might have checked up on her initially, but Megumi couldn't stop and so the radio was switched on.
Megumi cried, and cried without holding back wishing she didn't remember anything at all.
Author's Note:
Okay, so I think I might have miscalculated the number of chapters for this fic... O_O
I hope you're still able to continue this journey with me a little longer... and much thanks for your reviews!
For now, let me know what you think.
Ps. Someone asked where I read L'etoile... I also only read until Chapter 8 (translated in English). For the rest, I temporarily registered to Shounen Jump and asked a friend to read with me ('cause kanji is quite challenging for me to learn...)