At first, Hunter thought that Lila hadn't seemed to change one bit in their five years of separation. She still moved as agile and smoothly as a cat, still smiled like a ray of sunshine and looked as breathtakingly beautiful as ever. Raina and Tag, apparently Lila's employers and close friends, were gracious hosts. Tag insisted on hearing about some of Hunter's time while serving in the Clone Wars but Raina listened with a more careful ear.
She had greeted him with warmth and gentility but Hunter easily saw the concern in her eyes when she looked at Lila. It seemed as though Lila had told nothing of her past to the couple and Hunter was pained at the idea of her painting him over to start a new life.
Throughout the course of the meal, Hunter paid close attention to Lila who had sat across the table from him to the right. Her features were still lovely but she looked weary, as if she didn't sleep well at night. Her eyes seemed to have a depth in them that pain could only give, something which Hunter recognized from experience. He ached to reach for her but knew she would only withdraw further into herself so he waited patiently until after Tag and Raina had excused themselves and retired for the night.
Lila moved as if to leave but Hunter caught her elbow with his fingers, turning her gently.
"Lila-."
"I can't." She replied softly, "Not tonight. I need time to… to process everything that's happened. I'm not angry at you anymore, I promise. Just let me be for now."
Hunter considered her words before nodding, running his hand down her arm before bringing her hand to his cheek. He watched her carefully before pressing his lips to her palm in a familiar gesture, trying to savor what little touch she allowed him before letting her go.
"Sleep well."
Lila
The next week was near torture for me. I kept forgetting that Hunter was back until I bumped into him rounding a corner or glanced out the window to see him helping Tag do various chores around the farm. Every glimpse of him brought fresh pain and slow-growing, but blossoming, love.
I had told Raina the entire story in the kitchen and she had listened with wide eyes as I recounted my history with Hunter and the Bad Batch.
"You're the girl of legends," She has said, almost admiringly, "We heard tales of a Force-Walker even on this deserted planet. A woman who was not a Jedi but had the strange powers of one. But I've never seen your allusions, have I?"
"No." I had shaken my head, "I was careful to shield you and your family from that side of me."
Raina had urged me to treat Hunter with the same respect and patience as I once had, no matter the pain I had suffered during his absence or the mysteriousness of his disappearance. So I try to do so, not seeking Hunter out as I once did but not turning around and running whenever we made eye contact like I did the first few days he was here.
The suns are starting to set as I shell peas by the front door, grateful for the mindless work as I listen to the various jungle creatures patter among the foliage.
Raina starts putting the children to bed and I rise to help her but Tag puts his hand up, hurrying into the house.
"Not tonight, Lila." He smiles down at me, "I'll help Raina tuck the children in, you finish what you're doing and enjoy the fresh air. I'll spend some time with my wife."
I flash him a thankful smile and obey, picking up the bowl again and resuming my task. It's a few minutes before I hear from the doorway behind me,
"Want some company?"
I jump slightly, almost amazed at myself for not sensing Hunter's presence before now and his hand darts out to grab the bowl in my lap before it slips. He lets out a small chuckle, moving to stand in front of me,
"I'm sorry," He kneels, picking up a few stray pods and glancing up at me through strands of his dark hair before handing them back, rising slowly, "I didn't mean to startle you."
"Thanks." I say softly, offering him a small smile before looking down at the bowl.
Hunter jerks his head towards the forest, his hazel eyes hopeful as he ventures,
"Wanna take a walk?"
I almost say no. But then I see the gentle, silent plea in his expression and I put down my work quietly. Relief enters Hunter's eyes but he wisely says nothing and walks beside me in the cool evening.
"It's nice here." Hunter says, "I can see why you stay with them. They treat you as one of their own."
"Raina was very kind to me when I first landed here three years ago." I agree, "She never asked too many questions."
Hunter pauses, giving me a quick side glance,
"Were you afraid of giving her answers?"
"Not afraid, exactly." I answer, "It was just… painful."
Hunter thinks about my response for a moment before saying quietly,
"The boys miss you, Lila. They wanted to come help me look for you but this was something I had to do on my own."
I feel a sudden jab in the very depths of my heart as Wrecker, Tech and Crosshair's faces rise into my mind. I stop suddenly, making Hunter turn to me as I say in that strange, strangled voice,
"Maybe this was a bad idea." I turn to go back when Hunter moves in front of me, his voice alarmed,
"Whoa, whoa, whoa, slow down. I've been good to my word, haven't I?" He asks earnestly, "I haven't sought you out for the entire week until now, I've given you space and time and never complained."
I know he's right and I turn slowly, starting to walk again and he sidled next to me, his shoulders nearly brushing mine as we continue. The air is crisp and cool, contrasting against my heated skin as I feel almost stifled in the heavy silence.
"When Cody gave me the assignment that day in the bridge," Hunter speaks again, "For the first time in my life, I wanted to refuse him."
"Hunter-"
He puts a hand on my shoulder, pausing and looking down at me as he says firmly,
"I know you don't want to hear this. It brings me just as much pain to relieve the last five years but you have to listen to me."
I nod numbly and he goes on,
"We lost nearly the whole platoon trying to capture the base that housed the energy shield to the Separatist Star Destroyers. It was a trap and I should have sensed it but it was cleverly set. Me and the boys managed to get out of there but the damage was done and everything was in chaos."
"Why didn't Ahsoka tell me?" I interrupt, feeling my insides twist as Hunter recounts his tale, "I stayed a year before deciding to ship out."
"The mission was strictly secret. A level five operation. Nobody in the bridge knew about it except Cody, General Tano and me. We were told that there was a spy among our ranks who sold us out." Hunter takes my hand in his, "Lila, you have to understand something. I wanted to contact you. I wanted to return and find you but I was working blind. We had to find the spy before any contact was made to the Republic base."
"And did you?" I breathe. A shadow crossed Hunter's face,
"Rex and I took care of it. By the time it was cleared for us to return, you were long gone and nobody knew where you were. I've been scouring the galaxy for you since then."
"You've been looking for me for four years?" I ask incredulously. Hunter looks down at me, his brow furrowed slightly as he nods,
"Is that so hard for you to believe?" He asks softly. I look at him for a moment before shaking my head,
"Hunter, I'm not going to pretend that seeing you again means the world to me. But things have changed; you've changed." I reach up and trace the new scar running from his jaw down his neck, disappearing down his armor.
"Maybe." Hunter agrees and I notice he's still holding my shoulder, "But my feelings towards you haven't changed. Not even a little." He's looking at me carefully now, his eyes glimmering in the near darkness. I watch as he dips his head, drawing me closer to him as his fingers curl around my cheeks.
His lips ghost over mine before my breathing hitches and I take a step back from him, closing my eyes and trying to control my racing heart.
Hunter stands where I've left him and doesn't attempt to touch me again. He walks back to the house with me as confidently and smoothly as ever but I know him too well to miss the throbbing pain in his expression at my rejection.