Knockturn Ranch
There were eighteen naked death eaters in the showers at Knockturn Ranch, and they were ready to rut. Voldemort came over and said in his super sexy voice "My dear comrades, I wonder… who of you will lay with me today?" Lucius and Narcissa Malfoy held each other's hand tightly, hoping that they would be chosen. But Voldemort swept straight past them and sniffed at some of the others without his nose. Eventually he decided to go with Snape. "My dear Severus… would you like to play balls with me?" Asked Voldemort. Snape stood stiff for a few moments, then was led away to Knockturn Hotel. But before they could get to business, a house elf rebellion started in the hotel, led by the wicked Dobby. A magic fight ensued and the hotel receptionist, Amos Diggory died in the crossfire. Then the hotel got terrible reviews.
So sad.