A Christmas Carol (Part Three)
Abigail, as it turned out, was quite an observant person, in the Ambassador's opinion at least. When they had gone to return the woman to her ice box later that night, after a lovely dinner thrown by Isabella, Abigail's sister, Abigail had moved to give both her and the Doctor a hug. Though the Ambassador had been tense during it, she noticed that Abigail took extra care not to let her cheek brush theirs and that she was especially careful not to touch the Doctor's hands either. Without them explicitly telling her, the woman had gleamed their discomfort with others touching their bare skin and done her best to avoid it. Abigail was also quite respectful to not pry into why or test them, just accepting it as a quirk.
"Best Christmas Eve ever," Abigail cheered as she stepped back from the Doctor's hug.
"Till the next one," the Doctor offered.
The Ambassador glanced over at him, hearing an almost weariness in his voice. She could understand it though, she was getting rather tired of Christmas eve after Christmas Eve. Each pop to the future showed them small glimmers that their efforts were working, but not enough. They kept hoping though that the next one would be the one to do it.
"I look forward to it," Abigail smiled nonetheless, her gaze drifting to Kazran, "Now I'd like to say good night to Kazran."
"Of course," the Doctor nodded, remaining standing there even as the Ambassador began to head back to the TARDIS, "Well, on you go."
The Ambassador glanced back over her shoulder at that, seeing him still there, clearly not having gotten Abigail's hint. She let out a breath and shook her head, heading back and lightly grabbing him by the elbow to drag him off to the TARDIS so the two humans might have a moment alone…or at least with some semblance of privacy.
"What?" the Doctor scrambled to follow her, "Sadie, oi!"
"I honestly can't tell if you were teasing them or just that oblivious," the Ambassador remarked as they came to a stop before the TARDIS.
The Doctor gave her a pout and pulled a TARDIS key out of his pocket to unlock the doors when Kazran called out, "Doctor!" and ran over to them, "Um, Miss Sadie…" he looked between them, seeming to be debating something, before settling his attention on the Ambassador, "I, er, I think she's going to kiss me."
The Ambassador gave him an odd look, "Do you not want her to?"
"No. I mean, yes. I mean, I would like it very much if she did."
"Then what's the problem?"
The boy flushed, "I've never kissed anyone before," he admitted, "What do I do?"
"Think of it this way, Kazran, there's a fair chance she hasn't kissed anyone before either, so you don't have to worry too much about it," the Ambassador spoke, "There's also a fair chance that she knows you haven't either, so just…go with what feels right."
"What, now?" his eyes nearly bulged, "I kiss her now?"
"You've been courting her since you were twelve years old," the Ambassador pointed out, "You've just been on a date, already met her family, and have escorted her home," she glanced at the Doctor, "Those are steps in human mating rituals, yes?" he nodded, amused at her observations, as she turned back to Kazran, "It's alright to be nervous, just…keep being the gentleman you are."
"Right," Kazran took a deep breath, nodding to himself, "Right," and made his way back to Abigail.
"10 quid says he goes for it," the Doctor whispered to the Ambassador.
She snorted, "Abigail will."
He grinned smugly, crossing his arms and leaning against the side of the TARDIS, watching and expecting Kazran to make the first move…when Abigail reached out and tugged him into the kiss first.
The Ambassador barely managed to keep her laughter in at the sight of his petulant pout until she made it into the TARDIS, leaving Kazran and Abigail to their moment.
~8~
The next few Christmas eves passed in a flash for the Time Lords, literally. Kazran outgrew his teenage years, 18 and 19 spent in New York and Paris for Christmas Eve, and entered his twenties in Australia. Abigail, to honor his 21st year and becoming an adult by the laws of their planet, had selected a trip to a lovely warm beach, a world so different than the icy city they lived in. There were 3 more years after where the Time Lords had insisted on trips off planet, to alien worlds. But, when it came back to Abigail, when Kazran was 25, she'd begged for California, if only because she'd heard him talk about how the Doctor had mentioned the beaches and 'the vibe' of the 1950s, whatever that was. Hollywood was apparently quite something to behold and so she'd selected that trip for him.
It had actually been quite a normal trip, to the Doctor's mind, had gone quite nicely, he'd gotten some of the old gang back together for a lively night. He'd even managed to talk Frank Sinatra into doing a duet with him…which led to his current flustered state of frantically searching the mansion's grounds for Kazran and Abigail, he was going to need some help with this.
He had to be fast, he really did NOT want to leave the Ambassador where she was for too long, but he needed reinforcements. He nearly sagged with relief when he spotted the two humans, being quite cozy, kissing near the pool of the estate.
"Guys, I need your help," he told them, speaking rapidly as he approached, "Sadie's gone and gotten herself into a bit of a pinch and we need to go, quickly. Frank's spotted her and he's smitten, he's singing to her and…" he frowned, seeing them still kissing as though he hadn't said anything, "How do you keep going like that? Do you breathe out your ears? Hello?" he lightly reached out to knock on Kazran's head, "Sorry, hello?" and did the same to Abigail, "Guys, he's literally serenading her right now, have you ever heard him sing before? We have to get her away! This could change the entire course of his life and…" but they just kept kissing, none the wiser that he was right there. He let out a huff, realizing he was going to get no help from them, "Right, fine, thank you. I'll just go and…and out sing Frank Sinatra!" he turned and stormed off back to the house, inwardly wracking his brain to find some way to not sound like a dying moose…
~8~
The Ambassador's cheeks felt like they were permanently pink from how hard she'd been laughing the last part of the night. This man, Frank…something…had tried to sing to her, what she was sure was meant to be a romantic song. The Doctor had gotten so flustered when he realized what happened he'd rushed off to get Kazran and Abigail to do…something, she still didn't know what. He'd come back without them and stalked right to the makeshift stage, yanking the microphone from the man and doing his own rendition of…something. She really wasn't sure if he was singing in another language, whatever it was she couldn't understand a word of it. The moment he finished, he'd hopped off the stage, taken her hand (after making sure she was first wearing her white gloves, which went up to her elbows to match the gown Abigail had begged her into), and tugged her off to where he'd left Kazran and Abigail, then off to the TARDIS.
They were now back in the ice vault, watching as Kazran escorted Abigail back into her box, both of them more solemn than they had ever been.
The Doctor didn't seem to notice, walking over to the lad with a cheerful spirit, "There we go. Another day, another Christmas Eve. We'll see you in a minute, eh? I mean, a year…"
"Actually…" Kazran hesitated to speak, before sighing, "Listen, why don't we leave it?"
"Leave it?" the Ambassador frowned now, moving over to join them, "Why?"
Kazran shrugged, "It's getting a bit old."
"How so?"
"Well, Christmas is for kids, isn't it? I've got some work with my dad now, I'm going to focus on that. Get that cloud belt under control."
"Sorry," the Doctor frowned, "I didn't realize we were boring you."
Kazran tried to give them a smile, but it came across more sad than anything, "Not your fault. Times change."
The Doctor sighed as the boy walked off, "Not as much as I'd hoped," he muttered under his breath, before calling out, "Kazran," and hurrying over to him. He flipped the half-sonic in his hand, holding it out to the boy, "I'll be needing a new one, anyway. Merry Christmas," he waited till Kazran took it, "And if you ever need us, just activate it. We'll hear you."
"I won't need you," Kazran stated, too firm, too sure, and far too bitter.
"Kazran," the Ambassador frowned, "Has something happened?"
Kazran didn't answer, just walked away.
"What about Abigail?" the Doctor called after him.
"I know where to find her," was the shouted response, before the boy disappeared through the door, slamming it shut behind him.
"What was that about?" the Doctor wondered.
The Ambassador sighed, looking over at Abigail's ice box, her gaze drifting down to the series of numbers on the front, "I think that," she answered, pointing at the number, now down to 1 when it had been higher a few Christmas Eves ago, "It's counting down."
"Why?" the Doctor frowned, looking around at the other boxes, all their different numbers.
"14 Christmas eves…it's gone down by 7…" the Ambassador recalled, "Each Christmas eve was 1 night, so every 2 was a day. It's not how long she's supposed to be in the box, or she would have been out 7 days after we first met Kazran…"
"Then…" the Doctor trailed off, a terrible thought striking him, "It could be how many days SHE has, not how many the Sardicks will have her."
"But that would mean…" she looked back at the icebox, letting out a sorrowful breath.
That would mean Abigail had only 1 day left to live.
~8~
The Time Lords had stopped by Kazran's home the next Christmas Eve, hoping he might have changed his mind. They could guess what Abigail must have said to him that got him to stop their yearly adventures, the boy being so fond of her he wouldn't want her to die. They had hoped his compassion for Abigail had carried over to a compassion for others, for not wanting them to die, and had gone to the future to check on him.
It was as though every minor change that had been created was gone, reverted back to the original cold-hearted man, his grief for Abigail and their separation had hardened his heart.
One last trip to his past, the next Christmas Eve, to try and change it back, to hope that boy was still in there somewhere had only proven hopeless in the end. They had waited on the patio outside his window, looking in, hoping the boy would either call for them on the sonic or look out at the sky for them to resume the adventures.
Instead they had gotten a boy about to call for them, picking up what was left of the sonic…but then spotting them in the window and angrily shutting the curtains on them.
"What do we do now?" the Ambassador asked, turning to him. There was no possible way to talk the boy's future self into allowing Amy and Rory's ship to land in the time they had left.
The Doctor sighed and rubbed his head, "Time for the Ghost of Christmas Present."
"And what's that?"
He nodded over to the TARDIS, "We've reminded him about compassion and Christmas Spirit in his past…now we have to show him what's happening in his present. Can you connect us to Amy, please?"
The Ambassador nodded, moving to the console to bring up their comm. device to Amy, starting to understand what he meant by the ghost of Christmas present. He wanted Amy to talk to the future Kazran, to have him be confronted with the people who were in danger because of his choice to not help them.
"Amy?" she called out, testing the connection. It had been a bit spotty before, with their travel through the cloud belt, but as they were going through the vortex, it should be stronger, "You there?"
"For the moment," came Amy's tense response, "Have you fixed it yet?"
"Nearly," the Doctor called over, "We're onto Part 2 of the plan."
"And what's that?"
"You."
~8~
"I hope this works," the Ambassador murmured, working on patching Amy's comm. to Kazran's projector in the future. They hadn't gone back to future, but further into Kazran's past. Right now they were set down just a few minutes after they'd left Kazran the first time as a child, back outside on his patio.
The boy had just returned to his room, starting to clean up the mess they'd made so as not to get in trouble with his father, not noticing the box outside.
They could have gone back to the future, but if Amy and Rory failed their roles as Ghosts of Christmas Present, then they would have to go onto the next step. For that, according to the Doctor, they would need to steal little Kazran away once more. They both were sincerely hoping it wouldn't come to that though. The Doctor's plan involved a little too many crossed timelines and bent rules for either of them to feel right about it.
"Me too," the Doctor took a breath and pressed the button to connect the two devices. They looked up at a monitor, watching as a hologram of Amy appeared in the man's sitting room, startling him.
"Hello!" Amy cheered.
"Who are you?" Bigger Kazran demanded, "What are you doing here?"
"Didn't think this was over, did you? I'm the Ghost of Christmas Present."
"A ghost? Dressed like that?"
"Yeah, why IS she dressed like a police woman?" the Ambassador asked the Doctor.
Before he could answer, Rory appeared, pushing Amy out of the hologram's range…dressed like a roman soldier, "Eyes off the skirt," the man warned.
"Nevermind," the Ambassador held up her hand, "I don't want to know."
The Doctor chuckled lightly as Amy appeared back, shoving Rory away to take her spot again.
"…you turned into a Roman," Kazran pointed at the hologram, in a state of shock.
"Yeah," Amy muttered, tugging on her skirt a little, "I do that. I also do this."
The Doctor hit another button, cancelling the connection to the projector and rerouting it to a different one in the man's manor.
"Do what?" Kazran called out as Amy disappeared, "What are you talking about?"
The Ambassador reached out and turned a knob, increasing the volume of the new connection so Kazran could hear the carol being sung in the basement of his manor. They watched as the man walked down to the ice vault, looking inside to see holograms being projected out of a number of boxes, none of them matching the people within those boxes.
He frowned and opened the door, stepping inside to look around at them, when Amy's hologram appeared once more, behind him.
"They're holograms. Projections, like me."
"Who are they?"
"The people on the ship up there. The ones you're going to let die tonight."
"Why are they singing?"
"For their lives. Which one's Abigail? The Doctor told me."
"Did he now?"
"Remind me to give Amy lessons on diplomacy after this," the Ambassador remarked, thinking of a dozen other ways Amy could have brought Abigail up without offending Bigger Kazran. Being impartial, unbiased, and cautious with words was a skill all Ambassadors trained in for a number of years…Amy might be a bit too rash for this…they probably should have asked Rory to speak to him, man in love to man in love.
"He doesn't hold back," Amy said, "You know the Doctor."
"How do I?" Kazran demanded, "I never met him or the Ambassador before tonight."
"Thank you for the title," the Ambassador murmured, earning a small crack of a smile from the Doctor for it.
"Now I seem to have known them all my life. How? Why?"
"You're the only person who can let that ship land," Amy told him, "He was trying to turn you into a nicer person. And he was trying to do it nicely."
"They've changed my past. My whole life!"
"Time can be rewritten."
"You tell the Doctor, tell him from me, people can't," he growled, striding forward, through the holograms, disrupting their connections and causing them to scatter apart into nothing. He didn't stop till he caught sight of Abigail's box out of the corner of his eye and turned to look at her through the window.
"That's Abigail?" Amy asked, following him.
"I would never have known her if the Doctor and the Ambassador hadn't changed the course of my whole life to suit themselves."
"Well, that's good, isn't it?"
"No."
"Why is she still in there?"
"Don't push, Amy," the Ambassador warned under her breath, seeing the signs on Bigger Kazran's face that she was getting him worked up and not in a beneficial way.
The Doctor let out a tiny snort, he was starting to get a feeling that she would be the sort to run commentary at the movies or during television shows.
"You could let her out any time," Amy continued.
"Oh, yes. Any time at all. Any time...I choose," he reached out to touch the window.
"Then why don't you?"
"Too much," the Ambassador winced.
Kazran turned to Amy, glaring, about ready to explode, "This is what they did to me!" he snapped, "Abigail was ill when she went into the ice. On the point of death. I suppose the rest in the ice helped her, but she's used up her time. All those Christmas Eves with me. I could release her any time I want...and she would live a single day. So tell me," he sneered, "Ghost of Christmas Present, how do I choose which day?"
"I'm sorry," Amy told him, "I really am. I'm very, very sorry. But you know what? She's got more time left than I have. More than anyone on this ship."
"Probably should have mentioned what Abigail would have wanted him to do just then, Amy," the Ambassador continued to remark.
The Doctor had to press his lips together tightly to keep from laughing.
"Good," was all Kazran said.
Amy shook her head, "Rory, widen the beam."
There was a flicker on the screen, the Doctor reaching out to punch the side of the monitor till it cleared to show that the hologram had reversed, as they'd instructed Rory how to do, to project Kazran onto the ship, to let him see what Amy and Rory were experiencing on the Bridge.
"How did I get here?" Kazran asked as he looked around, startled.
"You didn't," Amy answered, "It's your turn to be the hologram. Since you're going to let a lot of people die, I thought you might like to see where it's all gonna happen."
"The singing..." Kazran frowned, able to hear the singing even there, "What is it? I don't understand."
"The Doctor's idea," Rory moved over to Amy's side, "The harmonies resonate in the ice crystals. The fish like it. He thought maybe it would stabilize the ship. But it isn't working. It's not powerful enough."
"I told you that wouldn't work," the Ambassador murmured, they had both been skeptical that it would, the Doctor had been the only one between the two of them who had hoped it would regardless.
"Why are they still singing, then?" Kazran huffed.
"Because we haven't told them," the Captain of the ship turned to plead with Kazran as well, "I understand you have a machine that controls this cloud layer. If you can release us from it, we still have time to make a landing. Nobody has to die."
It was clear to the Time Lords, just in the sneer growing on Kazran's face, that he would refuse, "Everybody has to die."
The Ambassador sighed, turning to him, "Go get Kazran."
He nodded, moving to the door while she kept watch on the monitor as he left the box.
"Not tonight," Amy argued.
"Tonight's as good as any other," Kazran shrugged, "How do you choose?"
"Doctor?" Amy called out.
The Ambassador glanced over her shoulder as the Doctor entered, little Kazran absolutely giddy beside the solemn man, thinking that they were going on another amazing trip.
"He's here," she told Amy.
"Did he hear this?"
"I did," the Ambassador said.
The Doctor moved to the console and pulled a lever, the settings already in line for this trip. They hadn't known how much time they would have once Amy finished with the man so they'd preset the coordinates.
"They're here?" they could still hear bigger Kazran asking as they flew through the Vortex, piloting the old box back to the ice vault of his manor, "Where are they?!"
They set the box down and hit the button that would cut the connection to the hologram, which would allow Kazran to see and hear the ice vault once more.
"Where'd we go?" little Kazran asked eagerly as he followed the Time Lords to the door.
"The future," the Ambassador told him, "You need to stay in the TARDIS for a minute or two."
"Why?" the boy frowned.
The Doctor hesitated to say, they were both hoping they might still get through to bigger Kazran, they didn't want to scar or upset the boy before them…but they couldn't exactly say that they were going to confront his older self to try and keep him from letting people die. He sighed, "Just need to make sure it's safe."
Little Kazran huffed at that, crossing his arms, but stayed in place, even as they left the door to the TARDIS open a crack when they entered the ice vault.
It took a moment for the effects of the reversed hologram to fade, so they were already out and standing in the vault by the time bigger Kazran noticed them and spun to face them.
"It's you!" the man gaped, looking as though he'd seen a ghost.
It was a fair assumption, the Ambassador mused, he hadn't seen them since his mid-twenties after all, and they'd never told him they were essentially immortal. Even without knowing about time travel, it had to be jarring to see them looking the same as they had decades ago.
"Kazran, why didn't you tell us?" the Ambassador asked him, glancing to the side at Abigail's box.
Kazran turned away, "All my life, I've been called heartless. My other life, my real life, the one you rewrote. Now look at me."
"Better a broken heart than no heart at all," the Doctor told him.
The Ambassador looked over at him, hearing not just a sorrow in his voice but also an age-old knowledge. Seeing how he was with Amy and Rory, it was easy to forget he'd had other companions on his adventures, that he'd been travelling for centuries really. He really did have ample experience with pains of the heart. It was dangerous, to travel in a TARDIS, more so with how frequently the Doctor did and how awful his luck appeared to be. He had to have lost companions in the past, if not to old age then to death. His hearts had to be remarkably strong and remarkably big to keep allowing others into them given the pain he knew would come when their final parting occurred.
"Oh, try it," Kazran scoffed, "You try it."
"He has," she found herself saying, earning the Doctor's gaze for it.
The way he looked at her…it was almost shocked. His eyes a little wider than normal, a hint of fear in them. And she realized he had given away more than he wanted to when he'd spoken. He hadn't thought she would catch that or care enough to catch it.
The war had been so close to her, years gone for him. He'd been alone for so long, suffering from the loss of their people and the guilt of what he'd done, and that was on top of the pain he felt when dealing with or losing humans around him.
Of course she would notice.
"Why are you here?" Kazran demanded, cutting off her thoughts, breaking their gaze from each other so they turned back to him.
"Cos we're not finished with you yet," the Doctor took a breath, walking towards Kazran, past him, so that he would turn to follow him. The Ambassador moved back to the TARDIS, reaching out to lightly push the doors to the box open so little Kazran could step out, "You've seen the past, the present...and now you need to see the future."
Little Kazran opened his mouth to ask her what was going on, when bigger Kazran spoke, startling him with how much he sounded like Elliot Sardick in how he snapped at the Doctor.
"Fine! Do it! Show me! I'll die cold, alone and afraid. Of course I will, we all do! What difference does showing me make? Do you know why I'm going to let those people die? It's not a plan. I don't get anything from it. It's just that I don't care. I'm not like you. I don't even want to be like you! I don't and never, ever will care!"
The Doctor turned to face the man, his gaze drifting past bigger Kazran's shoulder to his little self, "And I don't believe that."
"Then show me the future. Prove me wrong."
"We are," the Ambassador said, causing bigger Kazran to huff and spin around, only to freeze in shock when he saw his younger self walking towards him, "Right now."
"So what do you think?" the Doctor asked the boy, "Is this who you want to become, Kazran?"
Little Kazran hesitantly approached his bigger self, frowning at him, because he heard the Doctor and that meant this person was HIM but it had to be impossible because he looked and sounded far too much like… "Dad?"
Bigger Kazran dropped the cane he'd been holding, immediately lifting his hand to strike his younger self, for how DARE anyone ever compare him to his monster of a father…when a memory shot through him of how his father always hit HIM.
…and here he was, about to do the same.
…here he was a worse monster than his father had ever been.
He lowered his hand, tears welling in his eyes, "I'm sorry. I'm so, so sorry," he reached out for his younger self, the boy stepping back in fear, "It's ok, don't be frightened," he laid his hand gently on Kazran's shoulder and tugged him into a tight hug, "I'm...I'm so, so, so..."
He sniffled, catching sight of Abigail's box, and nearly broke down entirely.
Abigail could never love a monster like Elliot Sardick because of how much the man had hurt HIM.
Abigail could never love him if he became a worse monster by letting all those people die.
He would never, EVER let himself become that monster, a sentiment he was sure his younger self was swearing right at that moment as well.
"Kazran," the Doctor said softly, reaching out to touch bigger Kazran's shoulder, "We don't have much time."
"Right," bigger Kazran nodded, pulling back, wiping his nose on the sleeve of his robe, "The controls are upstairs…"
"Amy?" the Ambassador called into the comm. the Doctor tossed her as they followed Kazran out of the room.
"Ambassador!" the ginger woman gasped, "What's going on? Have you done it?"
"Kazran's agreed to shift the cloud belt," she told her, "Tell the captain to prepare to land."
"Got it!" Amy shouted, ending the call to do as she was told.
"Everything alright?" the Ambassador asked as she walked over to where the three men had congregated by the controls to the cloud belt. The Doctor was happily beaming but bigger Kazran seemed concerned as he kept flicking a button.
"The controls won't respond," bigger Kazran stated.
"They're isomorphic," the Doctor countered, "Tuned to your brainwaves, they'll only respond to you."
"They won't."
The Doctor watched as the man flicked the switch and hit more buttons, the machine not even lighting up in reaction, "That doesn't make sense, why wouldn't..." he reached out to try the console himself…when it dawned on him why a machine that would not allow a stranger to operate the controls had suddenly stopped working for Kazran, "Oh! Oh, of course. Stupid, stupid Doctor!"
"What happened?" the Ambassador asked.
Though it was bigger Kazran who startled both of them in how he asked, "What's wrong?" and seemed genuinely contrite and like he would give anything in the world to make it better, "Tell me, what is it, what..."
"It's you," the Doctor explained, "We've changed you too much, the machine doesn't recognize you."
"But my father programmed it..."
"Oh," the Ambassador breathed, understanding what the Doctor was trying to say, "The man you've become is not someone your father would have programmed the machine to follow. You're too good a person now."
Had it not been for the imminent danger to the people on the ship, it really looked as though bigger Kazran would have smiled at her last few words, "Then what do we do?"
"Um..." the Doctor struggled to come up with a solution, "Um...I don't know, I don't know."
"There must be something!" little Kazran urged.
"This!" bigger Kazran quickly pulled half the sonic out of his pocket, "You can use this! I kept it, see?"
"What, half a screwdriver?" the Doctor huffed, snatching it from him, "With the other half up in the sky in a big old shark?"
"And if Abigail sings, it'll resonate through the sonic into the heart of the cloud layer," the Ambassador said. She knew the Doctor was trying to be kind to Kazran, to come up with any other possible solution that wouldn't involve waking the woman up for her last day alive. But they didn't have the time to come up with something they didn't KNOW would work. They knew Abigail's voice could calm the shark, and if it could, it would resonate in the ice above too.
"If we use your aerial to boost the signal, set up a resonation pattern between the two halves..." the Doctor muttered, nodding, knowing time was too much of the essence, "That would work."
"If Abigail sings?" bigger Kazran repeated, not understanding much of what the two just said but he DID hear that, "You mean wake her up."
The Doctor looked at the man sadly, "I'm sorry, Kazran. Truly, I am."
"Would Abigail want you to keep her frozen?" the Ambassador asked gently, giving him a nudge, "If it meant so many others would die?"
Kazran could only nod solemnly to himself, Abigail would never forgive him.
~8~
It was with a solemn heart that Kazran, both of them, stood before Abigail's ice box, the Doctor and the Ambassador nearby, watching as the heating process began.
"Her voice resonates perfectly with the ice crystals," the Doctor said again, reaffirming that it was the only reason they had to do this, not to hurt Kazran, but to save lives, "It calmed the shark. It will calm the sky, too."
"Could you do it?" bigger Kazran wondered aloud, "Could you do this? Think about it. One last day with your beloved. Which day would you choose?"
Even if he'd intended for them to actually answer his question, neither Time Lord had a chance as Abigail pushed open her box, with a smile, answering herself, "Christmas, Christmas Day," and then she got a look at bigger Kazran. It was a testament to how well she'd come to know him that she didn't even need help to recognize him, knowing instantly who he was and that a number of years had passed, "Look at you," she reached out, unperturbed by the wrinkling of his face to touch his cheek, not seeing an older Kazran, just her Kazran, "So old now. I think you waited a bit too long, didn't you?"
"I'm sorry…" Kazran began.
But Abigail wouldn't let him feel bad, teasing him instead, "Hoarding my days, like an old miser."
"But...if you leave the ice now..."
Abigail nodded, understanding what it would mean, she knew very well when she went back into the box that the next time it opened would be her last. Perhaps she hadn't felt time move consciously when she was frozen, but she had felt it in her soul, had come to terms with it, "We've had so many Christmas Eves, Kazran. I think it's time for Christmas Day."
"Abigail," the Ambassador began, "Before you do that, would you help us first?"
Abigail simply nodded, "Of course, what do you need me to do?"
~8~
Within mere minutes of releasing Abigail, the woman was standing on the city street, singing into half of the sonic, which had been connected via wires to Kazran's machine, ready to broadcast her voice into the cloud belt.
"Well?" bigger Kazran asked anxiously. He would never forgive himself if he woke Abigail for nothing.
"Well, the singing resonates in the crystals," the Doctor confirmed, getting a reading off the machine, "It's feeding back and forth between the two halves of the screwdriver. One song, filling the sky. The crystals will align, I'll feed in a controlled phase loop, and the clouds will unlock."
"What does that mean?" little Kazran asked, having been watching them just as anxiously, more so for the people in the sky than Abigail, unaware of the extent of her condition, "What happens when a cloud unlocks?"
"The fish won't come through," the Ambassador reassured him, "No gam of sharks to worry about. It'll be something else, something, I imagine, that hasn't happened here in quite some time."
No sooner had she finished speaking…it began to snow.
If the singing hadn't attracted others out of their homes, the snow certainly had. They could see scores of people peeking out their doors, only seeming willing to truly leave their houses when they spotted Kazran Sardick himself standing on the street, holding the singing woman's hand and realized the curfew was alright to break just this once. They hurriedly fluttered out, marveling at the snow, children frolicking through it with glee.
The Doctor and Ambassador looked up to see a shadow above them, their old friend the shark swimming past them overhead.
"Hello, my old friend," they could hear bigger Kazran greet, before focusing on Abigail.
The Ambassador cleared her throat, gaining the Doctor's attention, before nodding over at little Kazran, the boy absolutely thrilled with the snow. He nodded, understanding her silent request.
This was Abigail's last day, it was bigger Kazran's last day with her. It wouldn't be fair to keep little Kazran around. Not only would Abigail, being the soft-hearted woman she was, not ignore the boy and spend time with him, but the boy would also have many more adventures with Abigail as he grew older. It wouldn't be fair to bigger Kazran to have her attention divided, he deserved this last day with the woman he loved just the two of them.
"Come on, Kazran," the Doctor called to little Kazran, "Let's go."
The Ambassador remained behind as the Doctor led little Kazran back to the TARDIS, someone had to stay back in case the machine malfunctioned or if something went wrong. She may not have as much universal experience as the Doctor, may not have learned as much as he had on his various adventures, but she could at least mend a fuse. She gave him one final nod of reassurance, before he disappeared from sight, taking the box and little Kazran with him. She took a breath, crossing her arms and turning to watch on as Abigail sang.
~8~
"Are you sure it's supposed to look like this?" the Ambassador asked as she held a carrot in her hand, eyeing the blob of snow before her with a critical eye.
"It's a snowman!" the Doctor defended, as though it was answer enough to her question.
"I'm aware of that, thanks," she deadpanned, "I meant…the button eyes are a bit creepy."
She'd read about snowmen being a thing humans did in the snow…but she'd never been to Earth before she'd met the Doctor and some of their traditions just seemed odd to her. She wasn't one to outwardly comment though, respect each planet and their culture was a prime principle of the Ambassadors. She'd seen pictures of snowmen and it always seemed like humans would use rocks or other items for the eyes of a snowman. The buttons just disturbed her.
Why the Doctor had buttons in his pocket was beyond her too.
"Oh posh," the Doctor waved it off, holding out a hand to her for the carrot, sticking it into the snowman's face where the nose would be, "See?" he beamed at her, "He looks perfect!"
The Ambassador shook her head, watching as he leaned in to brush his nose with the carrot-nose of the snowman.
"You know, that could almost be mistaken for a real person," Amy's voice called over as she and Rory made their way through the snow, through the small army of snowmen the Doctor had taught the children of the city to make, "The snowman isn't bad, either."
"Ah, yes, you two!" the Doctor smiled at them, straightening, "About time!"
"I really have to ask why you're dressed like that," the Ambassador cut in, really not understanding why they had donned such costumes.
"Ah, kind of lost our luggage," Rory shrugged, "Kind of crash landed."
"I was there for that part. I want to know why you're dressed like that in the first place. Who packs a Roman Centurion costume for their honeymoon? WHY would you need to pack a costume for a honeymoon at all?"
Amy flushed deeply, clearing her throat as she looked around, "They really love their snowmen around here," she said instead, desperately trying to change the subject when she realized the Ambassador wasn't teasing but genuinely didn't know what the point of the costumes were, and not wanting to have to explain it out loud, "I've counted about 20."
"Yeah, I've been busy," the Doctor chuckled.
"Yeah, yeah, you have," Amy glanced between the two aliens, "I'm going to hug you," she told them, stepping closer and carefully giving them a hug, making sure she kept her cheek and hands away from any exposed skin, "Thank you," she whispered to the Doctor as she pulled away, turning to do the same to the Ambassador, "Both of you."
"Pleasure," the Doctor replied, as the Ambassador gave a small nod, "Right, come on, then, let's go!" he turned and headed for the TARDIS.
"Got any more honeymoon ideas?" Rory asked as they followed.
"There's a moon that's made of actual honey. Well, not actual honey. And it's not actually a moon. And technically, it's alive and a bit carnivorous, but there are some lovely views."
The Ambassador shook her head as he unlocked the box, "I have a few ideas, Rory, don't worry."
Rory smiled, trusting her much more than the Doctor to pick a place. From what he knew from Amy, the Ambassador had been married before, she had to have gone on a honeymoon right? Did Time Lords do honeymoons? And even if they didn't, her job was to go to other planets and observe, not cause chaos, so she had to know some fairly nice ones. He'd trust her pick more than anything mad the Doctor would come up with.
Amy waited till Rory stepped into the box to ask the Time Lords, "Are you ok?"
"Course we are," the Doctor smiled, "Are you?"
"Of course," Amy nodded, glancing back at the city, at the sky, unable to help thinking about what Kazran had told her, "It'll be their last day together, won't it?"
"Everything has to end some time," the Doctor remarked, solemn, "Otherwise nothing would ever get started."
"Um, Ambassador?" Rory called as he opened the door, "The phone was ringing," he explained to the Doctor before focusing on the Ambassador once more, "A man named Frank is asking for you. It's funny, he sort of sounds like Sinatra…"
The Ambassador sighed, "Tell him, 'You're riding high in April, shot down in May.'"
Rory blinked, catching the lyrics in her words, "Alright then," he muttered, shaking his head and heading back into the box to turn down Frank Sinatra.
The Doctor had to look away at the rather clever rejection, fighting to keep the grin off his face.
"Where are they?" Amy asked, "Kazran and Abigail."
"Last I saw he'd dug out the old carriage and was trying to harness the shark to it again," the Ambassador answered, "Off to celebrate Christmas Day, as Abigail wanted."
Amy nodded, and stepped past them into the TARDIS after her husband.
The Doctor looked up at the sky, a sad, sort of wistful smile now on his face, "Halfway out of the dark."
The Ambassador glanced over at him, the man starting to look a bit lost in thought, and up to the sky. A moment later her gaze was back on him, unable to help but think about all the things that had happened in this single night, in this one hour. There had been other options the Doctor could have done, to get Kazran to help the ship, but what Amy had said about his choice came back to her.
He was being nice.
He genuinely was a nice person and it was tugging at her hearts. Him being a good person made it hard to reconcile what he'd done to their planet. As much as she tried to look past it, it was always niggling in the back of her mind. But it was getting quieter, the longer she knew him, the more she observed him. With Kazran, he'd been understanding, supporting, had wanted to make him feel better. He'd changed a man's life but by adding light and life and happiness to it instead of the misery Elliot Sardick had left. He was being NICE.
She wasn't sure she wanted that niggle to grow quiet though, he shouldn't be forgiven for what he'd done to their planet and people, to all those innocent children.
But he was a good person who felt enormous guilt over what he'd done…and wasn't that the sign of such a person? If he was as much a monster as she'd once wanted him to be, he wouldn't have felt guilt or disgust or sorrow at all, he wouldn't have cared. She knew he was plagued every day with his choice.
She swallowed hard, glancing at the sky once more and then down to her hand, lightly tugging the glove on her right side off. She looked over at the Doctor and hesitated a moment, before reaching out and letting her pinky brush the side of his hand, curling just slightly to grip the tip of his own.
They both gasped at the rush of heat that filled them, their eyes falling closed for a brief moment. The tug was there, the desperate need to let their hands clasp, for more skin contact. The cords that seemed to spring up between their hearts snapped into place with a vengeance, wanting to be joined together.
It lasted only a moment, before the Ambassador pulled herself together and let go of the Doctor's pinky, slipping her glove back on.
The Doctor looked at her questioningly.
"It's Christmas," she said, "And you looked cold."
He just smiled, watching her go back into the TARDIS, taking a moment to draw in a deep breath. He doubted she would allow such a thing next Christmas, but he knew she hadn't meant it the same way as letting him use 'Sadie' on the holiday. It was her way of showing him that she was starting to, or at least trying to, trust him more.
"Merry Christmas," he murmured to himself, glancing at the sky again as the carriage with Kazran and Abigail flew across the sky, before turning to enter the TARDIS as well.
~8~
It was quite late at night that found the Doctor wandering into the TARDIS kitchen, yawning. All that time hopping and anxiety and stress had finally caught up with him, it seemed. He was tired but still too wired to actually sleep. So he thought a nice cup of warmed milk might help. He'd never really tried it before but Donna had once sworn by it so he thought he'd give it a shot. Amy and Rory had been dropped off on their honeymoon, the Ambassador had gone to bed, so he was a little surprised to step into the kitchen and smell fresh baked cookies, even more so to see the Ambassador was the one behind it.
He was quite sure he stared for an uncomfortable amount of time, trying to determine if this was real or a hallucination. A quick pinch told him it was not.
It also told the Ambassador he was there, given the squeak he let out at the pain in his arm.
She looked up from where she was setting a cookie on top of another one and gave him a look, "Should...should I not be here?" she asked after a moment. For the first time wondering if the hour it took her just to find the kitchen had been the TARDIS's way of telling her she wasn't allowed instead of the normal hall shifting the box seemed keen to do to her.
"What?" he blinked.
"I mean, you said the kitchen was open to...to anyone who wanted some food, this," she glanced down at the cookies before her and back at the sink filled with bowls and supplies she'd used to create it, "This is a little more than me getting a snack. I'm sorry," she added before he could speak, "I was hoping I'd be done before you woke up and have everything set to rights. You weren't supposed to see this till morning..."
"Sorry, what?" he repeated.
"I...um, made you cookies," she got to it.
"You...made ME cookies..." he blinked, "Why?"
She shrugged, shifting a bit, before she returned her focus to finishing the last of the cookies, piping a mixture in the center of one and moving to put a second cookie on top of it, "It's different, on Gallifrey," she spoke, "The holidays. But I do know the basics of Earth holidays, and I know about Christmas. I..." she sighed, "I don't have much I could give, next to nothing, just my psychic paper and my..." she trailed off, her one hand coming to clutch the pendant at the end of her necklace, "But I can do this," she continued, "When I was younger, just a kid, I always loved cooking, baking more," she chuckled, "My cousin and I would bake all the time. Actual recipes, and make up our own. Never worked out well, that second part. And these aren't the recipes from Gallifrey, the ingredients don't exist anymore, there might be substitutes to be found, but not enough time to find them before you woke up. I found this book and the cookies looked lovely so I thought..."
The Doctor, who had steadily walked closer to her, looked down at the treats, there were two scallop cut cookies set on top of each other. One with a smaller section cut out in the middle of it, with a red jam substance set into it. He had to chuckle, "They're called Jammie Dodgers," he told her, "They're actually my favorite. In this body at least."
She smiled at that, picking one up and placing it on a napkin on the counter before her, sliding it over to him to try. She watched as he popped it into his mouth, letting out little happy noises, before kissing his fingers and pulling them away from his mouth in a chef's kiss.
"Delicious!" he laughed.
"Good," she smiled, pleased, "I was thinking of chocolate chip cookies," she told him, opening the cookbook she'd found, "But they seemed so simple...and these looked nicer."
"Have you ever HAD a chocolate chip cookie?" he asked.
She shook her head.
"Oh, we are making those next," he told her, "As soon as I finish these off," he rubbed his hand together, "Give me five minutes and a cuppa," he joked...only half joking. He probably COULD eat through them all in one go, might need a second cup though.
The Ambassador shook her head, "Maybe we could...work through the book?" she offered, "Try a new recipe each week? Just the two of us, we can...talk, get to know each other without Amy or Rory or adventures coming up."
He smiled, "I'd like that."
"After the chocolate chip cookies," she looked through the book again, "Maybe we could try this thing, it's called a suful..."
"A suful?" he asked, not entirely sure there was such a thing. She turned the book for him to see, "Oh, a souffle!" he realized, "That might be a bit tricky..."
"You don't strike me as someone not up for a challenge," she slowly shut the book.
"You'd be right," he nodded, falling silent for a moment, "Listen, speaking of Christmas..." he reached into his coat pocket and pulled out something small and blue, handing it over to her, "For you. Merry Christmas."
He hadn't exactly planned for it to be a Christmas gift, he'd thought of it after Amy's wedding, after saying goodbye to River, but things just got in the way of him actually giving it to her. Christmas seemed like an even better time to do it though, so he wasn't too upset.
The Ambassador set the cookbook down and reached out to take the item, turning it over in her hands, "A journal," she realized. It was small, TARDIS shaped, with blank, lined pages, "Like River's."
He nodded, "I...I keep one too," he told her, "Not just to keep River's timeline straight, but..." he rubbed the side of his face, "After the war...when it was after the war for me," he added, being careful with his words, "It helped, writing down my thoughts, what I felt. I...I didn't have many people to talk with and...not everything I wanted to say I wanted other people to hear. You can write anything down," he tapped the cover of it, being careful to avoid her hands, "It's just yours, no peeking from anyone."
The Ambassador looked down at it, lightly tracing the blocked details on the front of it, turning over his words about it all, "You...you didn't travel with anyone after?" she'd gotten the sense that he'd been alone after the war, how else could he have been with none of their species left? But she hadn't quite thought it was so bad that he'd been alone, with absolutely no one, not even one of his companions, for long enough that he'd needed to journal as a way to cope.
His smile was sad, "Not for a long time. I was..." he took a breath, thinking back, "It was about a century, give or take a few years, before one managed to work their way into this old box. Didn't even know what I looked like," he tried to joke.
But the Ambassador's hearts clenched, hearing what he hadn't meant to admit. He hadn't cared. He hadn't cared enough to even know what his latest incarnation looked like, not for over a hundred years, "Doctor..."
He shook his head though, "I didn't deserve it," he said, serious and so, so sad, "To have someone there with me. I made the choice to end everything. I made the choice knowing it would mean I'd be alone. It didn't seem right that I take someone along, when I was the reason none of our people could be with anyone else either."
He didn't deserve to be happy, was what he meant. And the Ambassador knew her earlier reactions had only reaffirmed that belief in him. But being of a calmer mind and having had time to process some of it...she firmly believed no one deserved that on them.
"TARDISes are...indescribable beings," she began, being careful with her words, "Even growing them, harvesting them, travelling in them, we don't know everything they do. How they see time, how they perceive space, what they know. I wonder, sometimes, if this box allowed herself to explode, because it would create the cracks, and let one of us fall through...to you. So you wouldn't be alone. Because you never deserved to be."
The Doctor's smile grew a little more genuine.
Her point would probably mean more if the TARDIS hadn't made it abundantly clear she wasn't actually pleased the Ambassador was there, and therefore wouldn't have allowed the explosion if it meant SHE would come through.
But it was the thought that counted.
It was the unspoken sentiment that she did not believe he deserved to be alone.
"Thank you," she added, not sure how else to continue without them speaking about things that might still be a bit too tender, "For the journal. I'll try it. Maybe write some places I'd like to see," she considered it more when he nodded eagerly, just able to tell he would be willing to go to any one of them if it was something she wanted to see, "That was why I wanted to be an Ambassador in the first place," she mused, "It's fine to watch from Gallifrey but...I wanted to be a little closer, immersed."
He nodded, understanding, he had too, though he took it a little farther than observation while in the middle of a culture to outright changing things and getting involved and interfering, "How about I put on a cuppa and we enjoy these tasty treats?" he offered, seeing she appeared open to talking about some things, and beamed when she nodded in return.
He hadn't expected to land at Christmas time...but he was rather glad they had.
A/N: Aww, little bonding moment there at the end :)
I hope Sadie's little moment of briefly touching the Doctor made a little sense. She's been very adamant about no-touching, but the Doctor has really been making an effort to show her he's taking it seriously about her boundaries. It was her way of showing she appreciated it, and she's trying to trust him. By making that tiny move, she was showing that she trusted he wouldn't latch on or refuse to let go. It was a small gesture, she likely won't let it happen again, it was a step in the right direction though :)
And lol, Frank being smitten with the Ambassador and serenading her :) Poor old jealous Doctor :D I figured it wouldn't really happen how it did in the show, with Marilyn and the Doctor, he would have never let her get close enough to kiss him or contemplate marriage. So what else would happen there? A party in Hollywood? And with the mention of Frank Sinatra earlier? How could I resist? ;) ;)
On a slightly sadder note, we only have one more chapter left! O.O It'll be the crossover with the Sarah Jane Adventures, Death of the Doctor episode :) I'm curious how Sarah Jane and Jo will react to Sadie and her to all that madness ;)
Some notes on reviews...
I agree, it's so weird to write the TARDIS's relationship with Sadie, especially while posting Angel at the same time. I'm quite eager to get to Idris for that reason too, to finally have it out between the two and clear the air, at least as much as they can }:) I really enjoyed writing this chapter, writing Sadie and the Doctor being more partners and working together. I always hate writing OCs who are angry with him or condemning him, sadly some of them go that way and it can't be helped :( Because we, as viewers, see so much of his pain and how he tries SO HARD to be good and do good and help, that we just feel for him and never want him hurt and want him happy. So writing an OC that doesn't really do that is painful to get through. I always try to look at the brighter side though, eventually things heal, and things are revealed, and understandings are formed and they can build a better foundation for their relationship :)
I'm glad you like her :) We may get a couple more sneak peeks of her and other future TLs too, TL6 is very angry she wasn't put up first so she keeps needling me about getting more out about her, and the other TLs are a little huffy too lol :)