Chapter 20

The light hit him in the eyes, waking Tony up from a very sound sleep. He sat up quickly and looked over at Tim's bed.

Tim was asleep. So asleep that he wasn't even snoring. Was it possible? Was Tim actually awake?

"Tim?" Tony whispered.

Not even a twitch. Good. Tony was glad to see that Tim really had gone to sleep. His tablet was still playing the New Age music he'd started before. It was a little early, but Tony wanted to call Ducky and talk to him for a moment. It wasn't that Tim had revealed anything shocking, but with Gibbs suddenly appearing, Tony wanted to have an outside view of everything that had happened, including his own place in this chaos.

So he got up and grabbed his phone and then snuck out to the balcony. It was still early enough that there was very little noise outside.

...not so early that Ducky would be asleep.

He dialed and then leaned back and closed the door to the balcony so he didn't wake Tim up.

"Good morning, Anthony! It's rather early to be calling while on your vacation, isn't it? How is Key West?"

Tony was surprised. "How did you know we were here? Did you talk to Gibbs?"

"Oh, dear. Jethro is there? And after I assured Timothy that he didn't need to worry."

"What are you talking about, Ducky?"

"Timothy called me the other day and was telling me about your trip. I told him that Jethro was sailing south but I didn't know where he was headed in particular. The odds seemed astronomically against your being in the same place at the same time."

"There's a sailing expo going on in Key West right now. He's showing his latest boat."

"Ah. I had no idea that Jethro had any interest along that line. Certainly, he makes his boats and they are very well-done, but I didn't know he wanted to show them off."

"Neither did I."

"Well, I am sorry for my lack of anticipation. What can I do for you, Anthony?"

"I have to ask you something first. Did you know about Tim's last case before he got sick?"

"No. Was there something significant?"

"Yeah. It was a kidnapping case, and it turned out to be faked, but it took a week to find that out. Tim admitted that he was really stressed out by it, couldn't sleep and didn't really take good care of himself."

"That would do a lot to explain something that had confused me."

"How sick he got?"

"Yes. Since Timothy is young and generally healthy, it seemed odd that he would be so drastically affected, although it does happen. That kind of stress and his physical response to it would go a long way to explaining his illness."

"He doesn't want to admit that."

"That does not surprise me in the least."

"And it ticks me off that he's so reluctant to ask me for help. I know what he's gone through. I know it all. Why not let me help?"

"For the same reason as always. He knows he's leaned on you so much and he knows that it's hard. Anthony, you know why."

"Yeah, but it's ridiculous! I want to help!"

"And he doesn't want you to."

"But he needs it."

"Yes, and he knows he does, but this is hard for him, Anthony. Timothy does not lean. He has learned to keep things to himself and to deal with it all on his own. That he can admit to needing help at all is a step forward, no matter how small. There simply will be times when he wants to be normal and so will pretend he is. If it's serious, you can push it. If not, perhaps it would be best to let him try."

"So he can nearly die of the flu?"

There was a soft chuckle. "Anthony, please. You know that's not what I meant, and you certainly don't have to take my advice, but try to remember that Timothy is an adult and can make his own choices, even if you don't agree with him. Delilah keeps her eye on him as well."

"Yeah, I know. I'm sorry."

"No apology necessary in this case. You're under some pressure yourself. So what can I do for you?"

"Well, it's about Gibbs...and Tim. Seeing Gibbs... Tim had a bad night after, and it ruined the day for him."

"Yes, it is unfortunate that you had this experience when trying to relax and have fun. Even on his best days, Jethro is not particularly relaxing."

Tony laughed a little. "No, he's not. Never has been. But... do you think there's anything I can do to... make it better for them?"

"I'm not sure, quite honestly. Timothy has shown little interest in forgiving Jethro and Jethro has not put forth the effort required to persuade Timothy to think otherwise. What little he's done has come too late. I don't envy your position being stuck between two people you care about, but in the end, the best thing you can do is be there as you can."

"Be there for whom?" Tony asked.

"Whoever needs you. Like I said, this is not an enviable position because at times both do, but I would wager that neither has suggested you have to give up on the other?"

"No."

"Then, don't...unless you feel it's necessary, of course. This is one of those times when there is no easy solution and perhaps no solution at all. What Jethro did was wrong in every sense. Timothy's reaction could have been fatal had it not been stopped. To ask Timothy to forgive may be too much. But it may be much more to ask Jethro to forgive himself. He knows the pain he caused."

"He's punishing himself, Ducky."

"I know."

"I hate that it's like this."

"As do I. But in the midst of caring for others, don't forget yourself. You need your own escape from the stress, and placing yourself in the middle of these two men is putting yourself between a rock and a hard place."

"Yeah, I know," Tony said with a sigh. "We were having fun, Ducky. Before Gibbs turned up, we were having fun. Tim was really enjoying himself but..."

"It was a setback, but I think that it needn't be permanent. If you let it, I think it can be only temporary. If you don't mind my suggestion, I would say that you should let today be as easy as it can be. No difficult discussions unless they come up naturally. No harping on the past. Just try to live in the present for a while. Enjoy the road trip."

"They're never just road trips."

"No, they're not... and that's a good thing."

"Is it? I think it'd be nice to have things be simple and easy for once."

"Yes, it would, but with few exceptions both of you have fun while also addressing problems of varying degrees of difficulty. Your road trips lift both of you higher than you'd be otherwise. What better time can two friends spend together than in making each other better than they were before?"

"Maybe."

Another soft chuckle. "Don't worry, Anthony. I do believe that you can weather this current storm. It's not as large or as destructive as you think it is. Let today be easy and I think you'll be amazed at how well it goes."

"I'll try it."

"Good lad. Now, I have not yet had my breakfast and so I'm going to take my leave and I'd suggest that you both have a good breakfast yourselves. Enjoy your day and be safe."

"Thanks, Ducky."

"Anytime, Anthony."

"Bye."

"Good-bye."

Tony hung up and thought about what Ducky had said. While he was still irked about Tim's reticence, he could admit that he knew Tim was like this already. It wasn't new information.

He just wanted it to be different.

But an easy day? That sounded great to him. If only they could manage it. The nice thing was that he knew Tim would want that, too. So they'd just have to get out of Key West and head for the Everglades since Tim had wanted to see them. Then, they could decide what else to see and where else to stop on their way back up to pick up the boys.

Tony stood up and walked back into the hotel room. Tim was starting to stir, although he wasn't yet awake.

"Tim?"

Tim's eyes opened lazily and then closed.

Tony smiled and decided to start getting ready for the day and let Tim wake up more gradually. The fact that he was waking up gradually was a good thing. So he went into the bathroom. When he came out, Tim was sitting up in bed.

"How are you feeling?" Tony asked.

Tim looked a little embarrassed.

"None of that. I was just asking," Tony said.

Now, Tim shrugged. "Okay."

Tony sat down and looked at Tim.

"Let's let today be easy," he said.

"What do you mean?" Tim asked.

"I mean that yesterday pretty much sucked. It was hard and not all that great. So today is easy. We're going to the Everglades and looking around there and then we'll see where else we want to go on our way back up to get the boys. Nothing big. Just simple stuff. Nothing troubling. Nothing problematic. Sound good?"

"Yeah. Do you think we actually can?" Tim asked, raising an eyebrow.

"Yes," Tony said firmly. "Gibbs will still be here on Key West and we're just going to have fun...somewhere else."

"I'm sorry that I ruined this for you," Tim said.

"No, don't start that," Tony said. "You didn't ruin anything. It was just the way that things happened. Coincidence and it sucked, but it's not your fault."

"Last night was, though," Tim said, although he sounded resigned and Tony wasn't sure why.

"No."

"Yes, Tony. Please, stop letting me off the hook for things that really are my fault. Can't you let me take the blame for anything?"

Then, Tim got up abruptly and walked into the bathroom, closing the door behind him. Tony felt a little flummoxed. Of all the things Tim might have to get upset about, this was not even on the list.

...but then, he thought back and remembered that Tim had been a little upset about that before. They had talked about it, but...

Tony sighed. Easy day. Couldn't it just be easy for once?

A few minutes later, Tim came out of the bathroom, and to Tony's surprise, he sat down, facing Tony, and started talking.

"Tony, I know you're afraid of how I'll react to things. I know you worry about me more than you need to, but there are things I did to myself. There are things I've done to you, and I would rather you just acknowledge that than be afraid to, simply because you think it'll push me too far. Last night, it was my fault that things were hard because I let myself get into that mind set again. You can say all you want that there are reasons for it, and maybe there are, but I still did it, and I still made it harder for you." Tim sighed. "I don't like getting help. I don't like needing help. It's happened too many times. Last night, I did, but I tried not to. And I was so focused on not wanting to have help that I couldn't see that it would have been better to let you help me through it. By the light of day, I know it was a mistake. So do you." He actually smiled a little. "You called me a moron. You know I was wrong. So let me be wrong."

What was the most surprising was that Tim was completely calm during his speech. There was no emotional overload at all. It was just Tim trying to tell him something that he thought was important.

"So... what do you think is the right reaction, then?" Tony asked.

Tim's smile widened. "Calling me a moron seems warranted."

Tony tried to stay serious, but he couldn't. He smiled.

"What I'm trying to say, Tony, is that even when I'm shaky, I'm still okay enough that you can call me out for being stupid...and you don't have to worry that it'll be too far." Then, Tim sighed again. "That's what I was trying to say about this last case. It was awful. It really was...but I was okay at the end. I got through something that was really hard and I was okay. If it wasn't for the fact that I have kids who get sick, I probably would have recovered after a weekend. I just lucked out that my daughter got the flu, and it was really serious. I wish I hadn't had that. If I hadn't, then, maybe everyone else could have seen that I was okay, too."

For no reason that he could really articulate, Tony suddenly felt like he got what Tim was saying. It wasn't like he was really saying things differently than he had before. Maybe it was just because Tim was so much calmer than he had been. Maybe it was because Tony himself was calmer. Whatever it was, Tony was suddenly much less worried about Tim than he had been... and less irritated. Would that last? Maybe not, but he'd take it.

"Okay," he said.

"What?" Tim asked, looking confused.

Tony smiled. "Okay. I hear what you're saying, Tim. I think I might even understand it."

"Really?"

Tim looked so surprised and so normal that Tony laughed.

"Yeah. Even I can figure things out on occasion, Tim."

Tim laughed, a little self-consciously.

"So are you ready for an easy day?" Tony asked.

"If we can manage it," Tim said. "We're not very good at making things easy."

"Then, it'll be a grand experiment, and we can use the Everglades as our testing ground. ...unless you want to stay here longer," Tony said, knowing that Tim wouldn't, not with Gibbs there.

"No," Tim said, emphatically.

"Okay. Let's pack up, get our breakfast and get outta Dodge."

"Okay."

Tony still felt that it was too bad that their fun stop in Key West had been brought down and, for Tim, tainted by Gibbs' appearance. Hopefully, later, Tim could still look back and enjoy the other things that had happened.

For now, though, all Tony wanted was to get on the move so that they could enjoy this day and let it be easy. Just one easy day, that was all he wanted.

They both ate quickly ate breakfast, checked out and then, Tony started the drive back over all the bridges that would take them to mainland Florida and the Everglades.