A/N: I was in the mood to write fluff.. and then this prompt happened. So, no, this isn't fluffy at all. Trigger warning for major character death (as you might have guessed) as well as mentions of suicide (not at all graphic though). Well, yeah, "happy" reading!
Elphaba looked around her small apartment in the attic before glancing at the clock in the corner. The protecting glass was cracked at all edges and she waited for the day it would shatter, but the hour and minute hand still worked just fine. She had another half an hour before the others would arrive, and she knew them all well enough to know that they didn't care about the mess she had left all over the place. But it felt like the normal thing to do, cleaning up before guests came, and that's why she did it, even though nothing about this situation was normal.
She had worked with the Resistance for five years now, hade made allies or even friends among them, and had seen more cruelty and blood than she ever imagined was possible. While she was glad that she didn't have to work alone anymore, it also meant that she didn't have a say in things now. She got orders and she followed them – and Oz help her if she didn't.
This meeting hadn't been her idea either, just like the assault they were meant to map out right down to the last detail. It was meant to be their biggest one yet, though Elphaba barely knew any specifics. There had been talks about this for months now, though, and she had learned from a scout she was on good terms with that it had something to do with people in high military ranks.
Elphaba couldn't wait to learn more, like she was sure to do soon, and therefore she swept the floor and cleared her things in a hurry as if that could make them come faster.
The secret knock she had told them to use interrupted her while tidying up the rags she used as a bed. The people who joined the Resistance weren't exactly known for their punctuality, a habit that often drove Elphaba close to insanity, and in all the years she had worked with them they had never been that early. She grabbed a knife from the sink before opening the three locks on her door. Although they had remembered the knock she showed them, experience had taught her that it was better to be safe than sorry. Last time she had opened the door without thinking one of the Wizard's soldiers had found her, and after barely making it out in time, she had to go into hiding for three months before finding a new place to live.
The gap she opened between door and frame was so small that she barely saw anything, but when she did realize who was behind that door, she stumbled a few steps back in shock.
Elphaba had only caught a glimpse of golden curls and blue eyes but that was more than enough to recognize her best friend, lover and so much more from Shiz.
Before she got the time to react, Glinda already pushed the door open with surprising force. Elphaba could only stare at her, the knife in her hand less useful than ever. Nothing in her head made sense anymore, the sight in front of her eyes way too ridiculous to believe.
Glinda did not belong here. Her dainty pale features were just stunning as the green woman remembered them and her eyes just as strikingly blue as the ones that haunted her in her dreams, and none of that had any business in this filthy apartment in the poorest part of the city. The thought of Glinda walking these streets which even Elphaba avoided visiting on her own made her feel sick.
Even after all these years of trying to forget her, the second she stepped back into Elphaba's life, she seemed to become the center of her world again. Protecting the chirpy blonde she fell in love with and making her happy had been her primary goals at Shiz and now, even after everything she had seen and learned, she could feel it change back to that like a compass within her changing its north pole.
The knife between her fingers clattered to the floor which finally seemed to break their trance.
"Elphie!" The blonde whispered with tears in her eyes before leaping into her arms. Elphaba needed a second to process the strange, yet familiar feeling of her tiny body pressed against her own, but then she put her arms around Glinda as well, burying her face into golden ringlets. When the smell of her subtle roses perfume hit her, it seemed like they had never been apart, although Elphaba knew it to be different.
It was impossible to count the nights she had spent dreaming of Glinda, waking up drenched in sweat and her face burning from her own tears. They had become less frequent as the years went by but were triggered every time she saw her in the newspaper or in flesh as part of the crowd in front of the Emerald Palace.
That memory caused her to let go of Glinda's body, the betrayal and disbelief she had felt like knives being stabbed into her stomach as she first learned of her relations to the Wizard now as fresh in her mind as the joy of seeing her again.
It was a strange feeling, wanting to hug her even tighter and scream her disappointment in her face at the same time. The variety of her emotions caused her to do nothing more than stare at Glinda when she finally got the hint and let go as well.
"I've missed you", Glinda broke the silence first and tried to reach for her hand, the hurt evident in her features as Elphaba was quick to draw her own away.
"And I you", Elphaba replied before she really thought about it, mentally cursing herself. "But it seems like you have found ways to occupy yourself."
Glinda looked at her in confusion, causing Elphaba to clench her fist behind her back. As much as she had loved the blonde, her inability to see the bigger picture and really think through her actions had always bothered her, especially if the truth was right there, crystal clear before her eyes.
"The Wizard, Glinda", she spat out, and pointed at the silver tiara sparkling on top of her head. "Or should I say, Your Goodness?"
The blonde looked like she had been struck, but Elphaba couldn't stop the long-suppressed words from spilling out of her. "Do you like living in the palace, huh? Do you like wearing fancy dresses and waving to the crowds while telling them how wonderful the Wizard is? He's murdering thousands of Animals, Glinda! And if he doesn't murder them, he either uses them for cruel experiments or brainwashes them until they forget how to speak! But no one knows about it or believes it, because as long as Lady Glinda tells us how perfect everything is-"
"Nothing is perfect!" Glinda finally cut her off, tears running over her cheeks. "Don't you think I know that?"
Elphaba huffed at that. "No, I don't. I don't know you anymore, so how am I supposed to know what goes on in that blissful blonde brain of yours?"
"Well, let me ask you something", Glinda said in a slow, monotonous voice. "If I was so happy about everything as I am forced to pretend all the time, would I have gone through all the trouble of finding you?"
If the situation wasn't so bizarre, Elphaba could have laughed at her own stupidity. Ever since the blonde had appeared at her doorstep, she had been so caught up in her own emotions, whatever their nature, that she hadn't asked herself the most simple and fundamental question.
"How did you find me, anyway?" She replied with a question of her own.
Glinda looked down, avoiding her gaze. "I'm not going to tell you."
"Why?" Elphaba huffed and pointedly looked around the apartment. "If you have brought some of the Wizard's men and they are only waiting for a good opportunity to capture me, I think I deserve to know how it happened."
Her eyes fell on the knife lying next to her on the floor. Of course she would never even think of using it against Glinda, but she would not go down without a fight. Besides, soon her accomplices of the Resistance would be here and-
She literally stumbled a step backward as the realization hit her, her insides twisting. Alone or not, Glinda couldn't be here when the people from the Resistance arrived.
Glinda however, wholly oblivious to the meeting and the great danger she was in, seemed to interpret that movement as a reaction to her suspicion of the blonde having brought soldiers.
"No! Oz, Elphie, do you really think I would let them hurt you? I came alone, I promise."
"You have to leave", Elphaba only replied as she glanced over to the clock. Five minutes until the first arrived, at best. She made a move to shove Glinda towards the door, but the blonde quickly reacted and hurried around her until Elphaba's own back was to the door.
"Didn't you listen to me? I swear I am alone, please!"
Elphaba carefully approached her, but this time it was the blonde who retreated further into the green sorceress' apartment. "Glinda, I'm serious. You have to leave now and get as far away from this place as possible. It's not safe here!"
"It's not safe anywhere!"
"Yes, it is. You're safe in the Emerald Palace, please, just go back there and-"
"So now you want me to go back there?" Galinda screamed, furiously wiping away her tears. "Well, guess what, I don't want to go! You may think that I like it and I'm treated like a princess but you're wrong. I'm nothing more than Morrible's pretty puppet, forced to say these horrible things about you and smile and wave even though all I want to do is scream!"
Glinda held up her left hand, pointing at her fourth finger and Elphaba choked at her own breath as she noticed the golden ring decorating it. "Tomorrow they will force me to marry a man I met once at my own engagement party and who already looked at me like I'm his property! So, no, if you really want me to leave, then I will do it, but instead of using your door I will throw myself through that window."
"Glinda …" She did not know what to say or do, but the knock on her door made all such considerations unnecessary.
The blonde's eyes widened at the sound. "Who is that?"
"Quiet", Elphaba snapped and desperately looked around the room for a hiding place, but she couldn't find any. Even though Glinda was tiny, she still didn't fit into Elphaba's small closet and she would easily be seen under her desk. Suddenly the window seemed the only possible escape and Elphaba felt sick at having to consider it after what Glinda had just confessed.
"They used our knock", Glinda whispered, before her eyes widened even more in realization. "You knew someone was coming! You thought I was them – that's why you let me in!"
Elphaba pinched the bridge of her nose in concentration. It probably hadn't been the smartest move to teach her friends from the Resistance the knock she and Glinda had come up with back when they shared a dorm room without lockable doors. But then, how was she supposed to know that the blonde would turn up here today of all days and use it?
Besides, none of that really mattered now, as she was painfully reminded of as she heard someone hiss her code name she had chosen for the Resistance behind the door.
"Just give me a moment!" She yelled, trying her best to hide the panic in her voice.
"Elphie, who is that?" Glinda repeated her question, harsher this time. "And why are they calling you Fae?"
Throwing her a glare, Elphaba hurried over to her and pressed her hand over pink lips. "Will you shut up? You're going to get us both killed!"
"What?" The sound of her voice was muffled against Elphaba's hands.
"I'm working with the Resistance", she admitted while doing her best to think of an escape plan, but her mind was blank. "If they find you, they will kill you on the spot. They hate you almost as much as they hate the Wizard."
Loud banging on the door interrupted her. "Who are you talking to, Fae? Damnit, let me in before someone sees me!"
"One second!" She yelled back as she moved towards the window, her hand still securely over Glinda's mouth.
"Do you think you can climb down?" Elphaba asked as she looked out of the window as if she had never seen how high up it was before. It was near impossible for her, let alone for Glinda who had never climbed anything before and whose pompous blue dress and high heels would only make it harder.
Carefully, as if to show her that she had understood the need for silence, Glinda reached for her hand and pulled it away from her lips.
"No", she whispered barely audible and squeezed Elphaba's fingers. "I love you."
Elphaba's heart missed a few beats. "Glinda, don't even think about that-"
"That's enough, Fae! I'm coming in!" The voice on the other side of the door yelled and soon the dull sound of something ramming into the wood broke the silence. It was only a matter of time before they took the door off its hinges, and Elphaba felt like she could see the seconds slipping through her fingers.
She hurried towards the door to grab the knife she had left on the floor as the wood broke and she could see the face of a fuming Bison. The two of them had spent a couple evenings playing cards, and until now Elphaba had considered him something like a friend, but now he was the enemy.
Elphaba could see the confusion, quickly followed by cold anger in his eyes as he spotted Glinda standing a few feet behind her.
His eyes then fell onto the knife Elphaba held between shaking fingers.
"Do it", he said as he kicked the broken wood to the side. He was alone, but soon others would follow and Elphaba would recognize every last one of them. Half an hour ago she had anticipated their arrival, now she thought about killing them all, even though she probably didn't stand a chance.
She didn't care. For Glinda, she would do whatever it took.
"Kill her!" He roared and Elphaba grabbed the knife tighter. "She's the enemy, Fae."
"Leave", Elphaba growled, although she knew it wouldn't make a difference.
"Fine. If you're too much of a coward to do it, then I will."
He got his own knife out of his pocket, the blade at least two times as big as Elphaba's, and shoved her to the side, striding towards Glinda. For a second, time seemed to freeze. Then, it exploded.
"No!" Elphaba yelled just as Glinda screamed her name and jumped onto his back, stabbing her knife as deeply into his neck as she could. He let out a deafening roar and blindly thrashed around with his own knife in hope to hit her.
He stopped as they heard a short, gut-wrenching scream, and it took Elphaba a second to realize who it had come from. She turned around, her breathing fast and unsteady. There was blood on his knife and just as she noticed that she wasn't in any pain, Glinda fell to her knees, clutching her stomach.
The light blue fabric of her dress quickly turned red, and before Elphaba could think about it, she was at her side, her hands uselessly hovering over the wound.
"Glinda! No, no!" She barely registered the dull thump of the Bison falling behind her. For a moment the entire apartment was silent.
"I love you, Elphie", Glinda whispered through shallow breaths and now it was Elphaba whose cheeks were stained with tears.
They didn't have much time until the next of her former allies would arrive but looking at Glinda's ashen face and the red puddle forming beneath them, the blonde had even less time left.
But although the sensible part of her brain knew that, the rest of her couldn't grasp the thought. "No, stop that. This isn't goodbye."
Glinda attempted a weak smile as Elphaba caressed her cheek. "Yes, it is. But it's a better goodbye than the last one we got."
She collapsed onto the floor as her knees gave away under her weight, and Elphaba only just managed to grab her head and place it onto her thighs instead.
"No", she sobbed as she leaned over Glinda's face, pressing a kiss onto her forehead while her other hand was still clutching her wound as if she could stop the blood from leaving her body. "Please, don't go. I love you."
"Shh, it's alright, Elphie", Glinda whispered. The whole situation was wrong, she shouldn't have to comfort Elphaba while she was dying, she shouldn't even be dying in the first place, but there was nothing either of them could do to stop it. "I told you I'd rather die than go back. I still mean it."
The tears on her cheeks burned like fire, but Elphaba couldn't care less.
"Yes, but-"
"No", Glinda softly interrupted as she closed her eyes. "A life without you is not worth living."
That sentence stayed in Elphaba's head until another underground fighter of the Resistance arrived, finding her holding onto Glinda's lifeless body for dear life. She didn't fight back as he pieced the puzzle together, one of their own lying dead and unnoticed behind her.
A life without Glinda was not worth living.