HOPE (HER)

Emily was sitting in the livingroom of her parents house with Stacy. Outside it was raining so they stayed inside even though Emily wished to do something to find Billy.

The phone rang and she jumped up to answer. This time it was the secretary of the Hawkins police calling her to tell her they had news. After the receptionist of a motel in Arizona had been informed by the police to look out for a boy who was most likely traveling with four girls she told them that in fact a group of young people had been staying in that motel. But they have left early in the morning. So the good things were, that Billy seemed to be alright and the police came closer to find him. The bad thing for Emily was that he was still traveling with the girls and even stayed with them in a motel over night. Emily sighed. She knew Billy well enough to know he wasn't good at keeping his fingers away from pretty girls who also maybe wanted him. And almost every girl wanted Billy.

'Em...maybe you should stop worrying about him. He obviously doesn't care about how you feel. And he can't be feeling that bad. Otherwise he wouldn't leave you without a word to travel with a bunch of girls to California.', Stacy recommended her friend. Emily again sighed and thought about what Stacy had said. Maybe she's right. Why did he just leave to go away with those girls. Maybe he really doesn't care about me after all. - Emily thought.

—

OLD FRIENDS (HIM)

Billy looked around. He knew exactly where he was. This was where he had been growing up. The setting sun was shining in his face and it was still warm enough to walk around without a jacket. Billy looked at the palm trees on the side of the street. He had even been missing those plants. He made his way to the place where he had been living with his mom and dad and later with his new family. It was a calm area not to close to the down town.

Billy entered the property which of course didn't belong to bis father anymore. He just wanted to touch the doorhandle one more time. The doorhandle also his mother had touched when she left him. Then he slowly walked around the garage. A place where he had spent a lot of time working on his car or lifting weights.

Sitting down on the porch in front of the house he burried his face in his hands then looked up at the little garden in front of the house. Gosh...how could everything go so wrong? How can everything be so fucked up? It's all Neils fault.- Billy thought. He felt warm tears coming to his eyes. Mom...I miss you...why don't you save me? - he said quietly remebering her smiling at him while working in the garden. He was sobbing while looking at the sun which had almost set when suddenly the door behind him opened and a man came outside looking at him angrily. 'Can I help you?', he asked. 'No...I don't think so!', Billy answered and wiped his face with the back of his hand. 'Then you better get off my property now or I'll call the police.', the man warned him. 'Relax man. I'm already gone.', Billy said annoyed and got up to leave. He looked back again before walking around the corner. His stomach hurted and turned. The feeling to leave this place again was terrible.

Billy decided to go go to a quiet place not far away from the promenade close to the ocean where he had always been hanging around with some guys he went along with quiet well. He would almost call them friends.

When he arrived he felt his mood rise a little when he saw one of them sitting there smoking a joint. 'Woho hey man! Is it really you? Haven't seen you in a long time.', the slim guy named Jason jumped up and walked toward Billy to put his arm around him and give him a friendly hit on the back. 'Yeah how are you doing Jason?', Billy asked and held out his hand reaching for the joint in Jason's hand. 'Please...I need this right now.', he added. Jason gave it to him and Billy took a deep puff while sitting onto the bench next to the wall of a bridge behind them.

'I'm doing ok like always but how 'bout you man? You look like shit.' Billy laughed quietly. He had missed his honest way of speaking. 'That's what I feel like. My family moved to a shithole in indiana which really sucks.', Billy explained. 'Yeah there are rumors going round bout you. They say you moved because you've had a...', Jason looked embarrassed and coughed then he went on: 'They say you've had a sexual affair with...Henrick and that his death is one of the reasons you had to leave. Is that true?' Billy clenched his teeth and glanced at Jason with his YOU'RE IN TROUBLE - FACE. 'It's not yours nor someone else's business. And don't talk about Henrick! And if anyone else asks...tell them to mind their own business.', he hissed and pushed Jason against the chest. 'Relax Billy! Just wanted to tell you bout what the rumors say.'

Billy turned around to look at the ocean again and took an other puff of the joint. He knew Jason respected him but he realized it actually didn't matter anymore what image he had in San Diego. He sighed. 'Are the other guys coming, too?', he asked. 'Yeah. Some of them for shure. There is also an new guy whos hanging around with us. Actually...he reminds me of you.', Jason answered. Billy rolled his eyes to look at him. 'Is that so?', he asked. As if the new guy had known he showed up with an other guy Billy used to hang around with.

Billy threw away the butt of the joint. Actually he didn't have to mark his territory anymore but still he felt like showing this guy who he was. He got up to take a step toward him.

Billy was slightly taller than the handsome boy who was eyeing him. He had black curled hair almost as long as Billy's. He was well built and his green eyes glanced sharply at Billy. The guy smirked. 'So you must be Billy. I've heared much about you. You are that Camaro driving gay asshole who moved to Indiana right?' Billy became angry because of his rude and disrespectful way of speaking to him. He grabbed the jacket of the new guy to pull him closer to his face. He had noticed the middle finger ring on his hand. Billy himself was wearing one so he knew it was a hidden sign of guys who were gay or at least bisexual.

'Watch your tongue shithead! Or I'm gonna show you what happens if you disrespect me.', Billy said through clenched teeth looking at his left hand to show him he had noticed the ring.

The guy started to smirk with half closed eyes looking deeply into Billy's.

Billy threw the boy against the wall so he almost fell to the ground. He laughed quietly and reached his hand out to Billy. 'I'm Brian. Good to finally meet you.', he said still smirking nastily. Billy raised his eyebrows and arrogantly looked at the hand reaching out to him. After some seconds of waiting to show his authority he took it and pressed it very firmly so Brian clenched his teeth of pain.

After that the evening went on without anything special happening. Nobody dared to ask more about the reasons Billy had moved away. They chatted, smoked and drank. Billy felt like the better times had come back for a moment untilhe realized he could not go back to the house he used to call home. At around 2 a.m. the others wanted to go home. Exept Brian. He sat down on a bench next to Billy after the others had left and looked at him. He took Billy's left hand and stroked over the ring on his finger. 'So it's true isn't it?' 'Shure looks like it.', Billy answered. Both biys were a little drunk. Brian came closer. He smelled like chewing gum and perfume. He kissed Billy's neck, then the cheek and then his mouth.

Billy liked his taste and kissed him back. It had been a while since he had kissed a guy. In fact the first and last time was with Henrick. Now he remembered how different it felt from kissing a girl but at the same time he found it very arrousing. Both were breathing heavily. 'I'd really love to take you home with me but my parents would kill me if they knew that I'm gay. There is a good quiet place in the park where we could go. What do you think?', Brian whispered his face close to Billy's ear.

Before Billy could answer he noticed a police car stopping not far away from them and two policemen came out with flashlights.

What Billy didn't know was that the police had found the girls he had been traveling with and they had told them everything after they had heared that he was missing.

'I'gotta go now! Don't tell the cops you have seen me!', Billy said, and tried to get away not to obviously. After hiding behind a small wall he took a look back. Brian looked confused while the cops came towards him. Billy knew Brian would be in trouble because of underage drinking but he didn't really care at that moment. He just didn't want to be found. He went on running away until he was out of reach. From this moment he tried to keep more attention.

After wandering the good old streets he used to drive around until some months ago a little more he went to a telephone station. He was still drunk and his head felt dizzy. That was the only reason he dared to get out some coins from his pocket and call his mom. He knew her number by heart but he hadn't been calling her in a long time because he was afraid of what she would say. Actually he didn't even know if this was still her number.

The phone was dialing then a sleepy voice answered: 'Hello? This is Smith...Who is there?'

He hadn't had her voice in years. She had a different name now but he knew it was his mother. He inhaled deeply. 'Hello?', she asked. Then Billy finally dared to say something: 'Mom...it's me...Billy.' She didn't answer directly. He heared her starting to sob. Then she said: I'm sorry Billy... I...I...can't help you. It's been a hard way for me to build up a new life. You are just...to similar to your father.' Billy clenched his teeth while tears ran down his cheeks. 'What kind of mother are you? I really thought you were a good one once. But you aren't!', he said trying to hold back to not raise his voice to much. On the other end he heard his mother crying then in the background the sleepy voice of a small child said: 'Mommy why are you crying?' Billys cheeks were all wet. He seemed to have a half sister or brother without even knowing it. Quickly he said: 'I hope you're a better mom to my brother or sister.' Then he hung up and burried his face into his hands. He couldn't hold back the terrible feeling coming over him like a shadow. His tears dropped throug his fingers. He stayed leaned against the wall of the phone station for some minutes trying to calm down. After a while his sadness turned into anger. He wiped away the tears in his face and hit against the grey bricked wall. His knuckles began to bleed.

—-

ANGRY (HER)

The next time the Hawkins police called to inform Emily she was sitting in her room alone. She layed in her bed with Billy's jacket which had almost lost his smell because she held in so often since he was gone.

The phone next to her bed rang. She picked it up and listened to what Jim Hopper told her. After what she had heared she hung up, threw Billy's jacket to the floor and began to sob. Hopper had told her that they had found the girls who had brought Billy back to San Diego. They seemed to have had a fun time with him because each of them was really... fascinated by him. Hopper had also told her again that Billy was an idiot.

Emily could imagine what he meant by that.

Hopper is absolutely right. Billy seems to be fine...and I'm the idiot who is actually worrying about him. Incredible! - Emily thought and from this moment on decided to forget Billy.