Chapter Nineteen
A/N: Here's Chapter 19. I'm sorry for being a little late to update. I hope to post chapter 20 in the next few days as well since this is a tamer, less action-packed chapter. Most of this is Christine and Nadir-centric with more information on Erik's character. I was also asked how many chapters I think this story will be. My answer is not totally certain but I think at least 25, very possibly more. I still have several ideas I want to incorporate into this story.
Erik had taken to hovering over Christine as she recovered from her head injury. It had been several days since her "fall" and she was healing steadily. Unfortunately, her beau found it rather difficult to quit his fussing over her and only went home to rest for an hour before coming back to the Valerius residence. Nadir, of course, finally bid Erik to return to his lair on the third day.
"Your constant worrying will only bring more stress to Christine, Erik. She needs rest."
"Christine knows she may ask me to leave her anytime she wishes, Khan." The man had rebutted quite ferociously.
"Nadir, could you please give us a moment?" Christine's voice sweetly interrupted from her position on the bed.
"Of course," the Persian conceded, leaving the two alone. Christine held out her hands to Erik who took them gently in his.
"Darling, when was the last time you slept?" the girl asked softly. She heard his quick intake of breath; he was still unused to the pet name she had given him.
The first time she had spoken it rather casually had been a day ago, and he had taken a long pause before responding to whatever comment she had made.
"You called me darling…"He had uttered, his voice full of wonder.
"I did, Erik. Is that alright?" Christine had questioned, a bit worried.
"Darling…no one has ever called me such a name," he stated, bewildered still.
"You are darling to me, Erik. May I call you that?" she inquired gently.
"Yes…Yes, I would like that very much," he murmured. And she had made sure to use it as much as possible since then.
"When was the last time you slept?" she asked again, waiting for a response.
"It has been…a few days," he admitted finally.
"Erik, please go and rest. Go take a bath and eat something and sleep."
"I do not wish to leave you," he replied firmly.
"Darling, I am fine! I don't feel any dizziness anymore and I certainly don't want you to run yourself ragged fussing over me," she chided lightly.
"You truly want me to leave?" he asked, his tone almost wavering.
Christine sighed, knowing he must suddenly feel rejected by her. She responded delicately, her thumb brushing against the back of his hand reassuringly. "Erik, you must take care of yourself if you wish to take care of me. I enjoy having you here of course. I want you to come back, but only after you have rested, alright?"
"Very well," he assented at last, placing a kiss on her forehead. "I will be back tomorrow then."
"I love you, Erik."
"And I you, Christine." With a final squeeze of her hand he left the room. Shortly after his departure Nadir took his post at her bedside.
"I have never seen him want someone's company before," the man jested lightly.
"I am very lucky to have him," Christine returned with stark honesty.
"I would say he is rather fortunate to have someone such as yourself" Nadir countered, his tone somber.
"Nadir, may I ask you something?" The girl's voice had shifted rather oddly.
"Yes, of course." The Persian sounded slightly alarmed at the change in her demeanor.
"Do you think that…that if I was not blind I might not have accepted Erik as easily as I already have?" Christine winced, the query had plagued her before, but with Erik's increased attentions as they courted the thought had presented itself full-force.
"You are asking that given you were able to see his face, if you would still be able to love him?" Nadir inquired, curious.
"I suppose." She twisted her hands in her lap as she was propped up against the pillows.
"What do you think? Have you…felt his deformity?" Nadir asked cautiously.
"I have. The first night he took me to his lair… He removed his mask and placed my hands upon his face." Christine spoke the words rather calmly.
"How did you feel?"
"It was…dreadful, Nadir. I cannot lie; every bump, blister and thin fleshiness that arose on his features repulsed me completely." Christine bowed her head, ashamed as she remembered the internal turmoil she had felt as she touched Erik's visage that first night.
"You were repulsed?" The Persian's tone held no judgment.
"Yes, I was! And I feel so awful for admitting that, Nadir. His face has brought him nothing but hatred and pain. Sometimes I wonder if I am no better than his mother for the way I felt that night…"
"Christine, now stop." The man's firm tone caused her head to shoot up. "Erik's deformity is hideous. No-do not interrupt me, he knows this. To be repulsed by his face is… a natural instinct. You are not a horrible person for feeling the way you did. You returned to him, did you not? Knowing how he was molded? If you could see, Christine, you could have merely shut your eyes against it. Touch is powerful, even more so than eyesight. You truly felt him that night and yet you returned…" the seriousness in the man's voice both startled and relieved the girl.
"I did return." She swallowed. "I cannot imagine ever being without him, Nadir…"
"What brought on this…doubtfulness, child?" The man asked softly.
"Well, I suppose I have been wondering if I truly deserve Erik." Christine fidgeted with a loose thread in the blanket covering her lap. "He treats me like royalty, Nadir. He thinks me flawless, and I am not! He thinks that I am all that is good in the world and I only feel more guilt when I think back to the first time I touched his face…"
"Do you feel repulsed when you touch his face still?" The simple question caught Christine off guard.
"Repulsed? No, of course not. Now when I touch his face, it calms me. I think of how much I adore him." Come to think of it, she had not been disgusted by his deformity by the second time her fingers had grazed it.
"Then there is really nothing to worry about, Christine. First impressions are not always truthful."
Christine sighed, relaxing back onto the covers. "Thank you, Nadir. Sometimes I feel so silly."
"It is only natural to have worries when becoming romantically involved with someone," he reassured as the girl felt her face become hot. Romantically involved with Erik. How times had changed.
"Yes, well. Thank you." Christine resumed her fidgeting.
"Any word from the Populaire?" Nadir changed the topic suddenly to the girl's relief.
"Oh, Meg said the managers happily agreed to give me a paid week's leave. No doubt they are worried I will want to bring charges against Carlotta."
"Will you?"
"I do not know. I certainly don't wish to clash with Carlotta any more than I already have."
"If Erik did not already hate the woman, he certainly despises her now," Nadir commented pointedly.
"I know." She sighed. "I already told him I do not want him to enact any vengeance on my behalf."
"If there is anyone he'll listen to, it's you," the man concluded.
"I hope so Nadir. There are things about him that still frighten me," Christine admitted sheepishly.
"You know about Persia." His tone was cautious.
"Yes," Christine whispered.
"He told you everything?" Nadir asked.
"I know he killed many people, not all of them guilty." An unreadable expression crossed her face.
"He is a dangerous man, Christine," Nadir stated evenly.
"Is it entirely…mad of me to still want to be with him?" She shook ever so slightly.
"I cannot lie, child. Erik has known and administered much violence. He is definitely not the most stable man…But I do not think he would ever hurt you."
"No, he would never," Christine agreed readily.
"You know he will eventually kill Ashkan?" The bluntness of Nadir's statement caused the girl to blanch reflexively.
"I know," she trembled. "I do not want anyone to die because of me," Christine's voice was raw.
"If not for you, Erik will kill for his own well-being. Ashkan means to bring him back to Persia and undoubtedly torture him under orders of the Shah."
Christine shuddered, unable to imagine Erik in such pain without feeling the agony herself. "If Erik must kill to keep himself safe, so be it," she clipped out, almost unbelieving of her own acceptance. Then she spoke again. "How did you and Erik meet?"
"I was the chief of police in Persia, acting under direct orders from the Shah. I am afraid the justice system there is skewed…I would deliver criminals to Erik," Nadir confessed.
"What did you think of him? When you first met?" The girl asked, curious.
"Well, he was rather impersonal and did not speak much. He was tall, much taller than I and most of the other men there. His body resembled that of a skeleton and he wore a black face covering, except of course, when the Shah had him remove it to frighten the criminals."
"How did you two become friends?"
Nadir chuckled somewhat darkly. "Erik would not call us friends but we came to an understanding. I believe I was the only person he felt comfortable enough to talk to without judgment. But it was only when he met Reza that I truly began to respect him." The Persian's voice quieted.
"Your son," Christine commented softly.
"Yes. One day I told Erik about Reza and his illness, and he asked if he may visit the boy. I had my reservations of course. Erik was the most dangerous assassin in the land, but there was something in Erik's tone when he regarded Reza. He sounded…sympathetic almost. Reza was not at all frightened by Erik even with his imposing stature and mask. He performed magic tricks for my boy and often brought with him some small inventions-toys really-and they delighted him. He looked at my son as if he were nothing but a normal child." Nadir's voice cracked and Christine swallowed, a lump forming in her throat.
"No one had ever treated Reza in such a way, you must understand Christine. He had an odd, crumpled appearance from his illness. Many looked upon him with pity, I suppose, but they also seemed afraid to touch him- as if he were contagious."
"I suppose Erik would understand that more than anyone," the girl stated.
"He did. And when Reza became unbearably ill and in constant agony…Erik offered to release him." Nadir's tone shifted into something incredibly poignant.
Christine gasped. "Release? You mean-."
"To help him die quickly and painlessly," Nadir finished for her.
"H-how?" The girl trembled.
"A poison. One that was fast-acting." The Persian's voice filled with melancholy.
"Oh my God," Christine choked.
"I could not give it to Reza myself. I asked Erik if he would do it, my son was in so much agony by then, and Erik agreed. I remember standing in the doorway as he did it-I couldn't move. Erik held Reza's hand gently in his own and he explained what was in the vial. My son agreed so quickly-." She could hear the sobs escaping the man as her heart clutched with sympathy.
"And Reza drank it while Erik sang to him. When it was over-." Nadir let out a cry before continuing. "When it was over-my son had such a peaceful smile on his face. All his pain-gone. And as much as I was grateful to Erik for what he had done, I cursed him the next day. I called him a murderer. I accused him of killing my child." Shame crept into his tone.
"Oh, Erik," Christine softly moaned, placing her hands over her face.
"But Erik did not rally against me. He simply let me curse him. I believe he could clearly see my pain. Several days later I made an amends to him, thanking him for his great act of mercy. He accepted it without another word, and ever since then I have made it my duty to be there when he needs me." The man burst into sobs once more.
Christine slowly tossed the covers off of her and padded towards the sound of Nadir's silent cries. She reached her hand out, finding the man's calloused, warm one which covered his face and grasped it in hers.
"I am so sorry, Nadir," she whispered as he clutched her fingers, grateful for a steady lifeline. The two of them cried together.