19 – Nuclear
Days went by and grandma and grandpa were leaving. They had helped us so much, but even they got tired of being with us for that long so they wanted to get home. I promised them to call more often and to message them if I needed someone to talk to.
I had promised my dads that I would try to move back into the dorms in a couple of days to get a more normal routine and to get my thought over on something else. To be honest I wouldn't want it any other way. My dads needed to get back to work and to deal with the chaos that the media had crated. Bakugou had to comment the incident himself, something he was not looking forward to. The debate regarding whether to punish heroes after they had committed felonies, like killing, was boiling in the media. There were debates in the newspapers and on television almost every day. My dads assured me that the law won't change, it was to there to protect the heroes, and no one would go as far as to defend the villains to change the law.
The finals were upon us and even though I was sent notes from both Ran, Tokoyami and Edward I hadn't caught up with any of the subjects. I needed them to help me as soon as I got back to the dorms. I had about two weeks before the written exam, but it was the practical I was most nervous for since my ice-quirk was not at all ready to be used in battle yet.
On Friday afternoon after dinner my dads drove me back to UA, back to the dorms. Since all my stuff already was there I didn't bring anything from home. We said our goodbyes for now, promising my dads that I would call them every single day to tell them about my day, probably just to check in, but I didn't mind I needed them to be there for me right now.
I walked into the dorm, glad to be out of the cold and it felt like everyone´s eyes were at me, it was dead silent. They looked at me like I was a ghost. I was aware that I probably looked like one, not really having a normal sleeping routine and I didn't really ate what I used to which resulted in me being so tired. Ran came running over to me and embraced me, helping me out of the awkward situation. She did all the talking for most of it as she followed me up the stairs to my room. She told me that she had gotten a new key to my room since I probably had lost mine. She handed it to me, telling me how happy she was to see me and that I was welcome to join her and Edward for some kind of card game they had planned playing tonight. I told her I´ll pass today, since I was so tired. She left me alone to my room, probably understanding that I only needed time to heal, and probably fifty hours of sleep.
Tokoyami came by the day after, bringing his notes and his books with him.
"I thought maybe you wanted to study for the exam?" he asked as I let him into my room, I wasn't really motivated to work with school, but maybe he could help me with that. He helped me a lot with the math, the hardest subject, getting me up to speed on in, it went surprisingly faster then expected. I was doing some extra exercises when he started asking questions.
"How are you, Malina?" I looked at him, he must really be worried to use my given name, it had to be the first time I´ve heard him say it.
"I´m fine, you don't have to worry" He shifted in his seat, showing how uncomfortable he was for asking.
"You told me you wasn't sure you would come back here?" Was that what he was most worried about?
"I don't know, Tokoyami. I´m just, not good enough anymore" I bit the top of my pencil; trying to get back into the exercise I was working on. He laid his hand around mine, he was so much warmer than I was because of the ice quirk.
"You are good enough," he told me with his warm bright red eyes. "I can´t imagine what you have been going through, but I know you´re strong. Way stronger than anyone I know, and I know you will get through it" I half smiled to him, or it was at least a try for a smile.
"Thanks, but its not only the thing with my brother, its my quirk as well" I pulled my hand away from his, looking at the numbers I have written down in my book.
"Is something wrong with your quirk?" He was even more confused now, as I haven't told anyone about my ice quirk and how I sucked at using it. I didn't really want anyone to know how weak I had become because of it. I told him briefly what had happened.
"Why didn't you tell me?" he seemed slightly offended that I hadn't told him.
"I didn't tell anyone, only my parents, Aizawa and Todoroki"
"I could have helped you train" he offered, but I knew it was not like that. It was not like he could help me get stronger and he couldn't help me control it better, it was something I had to do by myself.
"Thanks" I was cutting the conversation short; I can't imagine that he would understand what it was like. He didn't have his quirk all messed up and had to start all over, like I was 5 years old again. I bet Mr. Aizawa would give me a different type of exam if he thought I wasn't ready to go through this one, or he would postpone it. I calculated the answer in my head and wrote the answer down, feeling confident in my answer. Tokoyami was being silent, too silent for my liking he seemed conflicted somehow. I closed the books.
"Thank you for helping me" I gave him his book back and he accepted it.
"I think you should stay" his chin was pushed up, and it was more like a command then a suggestion. I was not sure why this was so important to him. With me out of the class he would easily raise to the top of the class together with Aimi, what was his motivation? Sure we were friends and he had shown me more than once that he cared about me, so was this just because he wanted to help a friend? I couldn't see a way he would benefit form keeping me here.
"I´ll stay if I´m still capable of being a hero" He made a sigh of disapproval.
"That's the stupidest thing I´ve heard, Shorty. You´re more capable than anyone" He smiled, one of those smiles that only he could do. A contagious smile that was so wide that his fangs showed. I couldn't help it but smile back. Ever since I started there he had always had my back when I needed him, he understood whenever I was down and needed him. I didn't have to ask him for help or ask him to be there for me, he just was. He understood me, not like Ran and Edward, but more like Kenji had. He could read me like an open book, and say the things I needed to hear, and I realized how much I needed him too. I needed this to get back on my feet again, to get back into the hero course and to rise to the top of my class.
"Then I´ll stay" I concluded.
Todoroki invited himself to UA to train me the following week, two weeks before the practical exam. We talked a long while about what had happened; about me attacking Kenji with my ice when I was feeling scared and how it had backfired. He told me that it probably was my emotions that affected the attack, that we should try using my emotions more to develop my ice quirk. He explained that connecting emotions to different attacks might enhance the power of the attack. So if I were to focus my rage or my sorrow into my ice quirk, it might make the attack stronger.
He came every other day to train with me, and after a couple of days training it suddenly felt like something just clicked. The quirk was so much easier to use and it quickly grew stronger day by day. My control over it was so much better and I finally accepted the quirk as a part of myself and not just a burden. I understood that the grudge I was carrying involving my quirk made it harder to control. I needed to accept that it was a part of me to be able to use it properly. The death of my brother had me appreciate the quirk more, it was a way to remember him. He had chosen that quirk for me, so that I would have a chance to beat him one day, to be able to grow even stronger. I thought about him every time I used the quirk, not with anger, rage or sadness but with gratefulness that this quirk might have given me a better opportunity to become the best hero in this country. With Aizawas´s permission I was allowed to join the class again in combat training. The exams went well and everyone in class passed. I finally gained back my confidence in being a hero and again I was on my path to be one of this country's best heroes.
During my second year at UA I worked at a workstudy at Todorokis firm, learning everything I could about how to use my ice quirk when I was doing hero work. I learned how to use it to reduce damage on public property and also how I could reduce the damage my explosive quirk caused. It appears that fire and explosives are quite similar quirks, and as a joke Todoroki called me Icyhot during the entire workstudy, just as my dad had called him that during their time at UA. Edward did his workstudy at my dads firm and when he got over his tremendous fanboying he actually was really useful. He had been working really hard on his quirk, being able to transmute almost every material by the time the first year was over. He could even combine different materials, which meant that he could make almost anything if he only knew how. He had been adding a lot of upgrades to his hero costume to be able to search up how to make different weapons and other useful things. He was really proud that my parents recognized him as a real hero and not only a fanboy. All my phonecalls home were talk about him, how much he impressed them and how useful they were, and basically pushing me to be his girlfriend, which I assured them that I wasn't interested in.
When it came to the second sports festival I finally raised to the top, taking first place, even if I pushed myself far beyond my limits fighting Aimi. Recovery girl gave me a hard time about damaging my body with frostbites, but I felt like I had proved myself, which made me really happy. I had finally made a name for myself by using not only with the quirk I inherited from my dad, but with the quirk my brother gave me. A quirk that worked against my own and ruined everything I had ever worked for, but I couldn't be more grateful for it. It had given me the opportunity to be stronger, even stronger than I could ever imagine, and it helped me take the first place. The quirk helped me get better and it forged great friendships with Aimi and Tokoyami too. Together we were the best of our class and at the top of the school by our second year. We trained together every day, pushing each other to the point where we almost broke to get better. Aimi´s quirk was pushing mine, my quirk pushed Tokoyami and Tokoyamis pushed Aimi. We were the perfect trio and we got the nickname the big three when we got to our third year in UA.
After graduation I took on my brothers hero name: Nuclear, to honor him. It really caused a lot of discussion in the media, but I didn't care, it was important to me. It was important to me to honor the hero he wanted to be and the hero he wanted me to be. The first few years in my carrier I worked hard to find out what kind of hero I really wanted to be. I wanted to work for the people and not for selfish reasons, the story Kenji had told me during the second kidnapping was always with me and it affected the way I worked. I wanted to help the people who didn´t get heard and I started to work with different vigilantes to defeat crime that usually the heroes didn't care for. I wanted people to feel safe in the streets. I didn't really make a lot of money off of it and my dads tried to talk me out of it almost daily. Since I worked at their firm they were technically my bosses and since I lived at their house I never heard the end of it. But I wanted to forge my own path and do what gave me purpose so they let me do it for a while at least. Until I had worked up enough money to start my own firm and really carry out what I wanted to do, who I wanted to fight for and what hero I wanted to be.
Its close to an end! I have been writing on this since april i think, and i just finished it as my first ever finished fanfiction. I really enjoyed it and have learned a lot about how to write, so i hope the next i write will be even better than this. The last chapter is more of a look into the future, cant wait to finish it.
If you want please leave a review, i really appreciate it, Thank you for reading this far!