Chapter 18: The Muggles

Summary: Severus rides back to Hogwarts with his friends.

Severus hung the poster James had given him for Christmas above his bed. The quidditch players in the picture grinned and waved at him every time he looked at it. He didn't know which one of them was the seeker but chose to think it was the guy on the far left who was a little shorter than the others.

As he read the book Mr. Potter had given him, Severus imagined himself flying on the broom with his team mates. It made him feel less lonely while he spent the last days of the Christmas break mostly on his own. Never the less, he was eager to see his friends once it was time to go back to Hogwarts.

His mother took him to the station. The platform nine and three quarters was as busy as ever. Severus scanned the crowd for James and his parents, hoping to get a chance to talk to Mr. Potter.

"Looking for someone?" asked Eileen, raising an eyebrow.

Severus hesitated. Somehow he knew it would upset her if he told her the truth. "Want to find my friends." he answered quietly.

"I'm sure you could find them on the train." said his mother, she too started to look around the crowded platform. She gasped a moment later, her eyes locked to a far corner.

"Mom?" whispered Severus, trying to figure out what she was staring at.

Eileen's black eyes met his. Severus couldn't read the emotion in them. "I know those people." she said. "The Evans family. I thought they were muggle."

Severus looked back at the crowd. He could see a girl with bright red hair. "That's Lily Evans. She's in my class." he explained.

"Is she your friend?"

"Not really. She's friends with the other girls."

His mother sighed in relief. "Is their older daughter a witch also?" she asked.

"I don't think so." answered Severus, confused. "Is everything alright, mom?"

"Yes, darling everything's fine. I wasn't expecting to see them here is all." she said.

"Do you know them from Cokeworth? Do they know about my accident?" he asked.

"You don't need to worry about that. They're just muggles. It doesn't matter what they know."

"Maybe we should go talk to them." Severus insisted.

"No. You need to get on the train and I've got to get back to work."

"But …"

"No buts, Severus. We have a different life now. The past has to stay in the past. Do you understand?" said his mother sternly.

Severus nodded. Even though he didn't understand. His mother acted like none of it had ever existed; the river, their house, the mill, his father. As if it all had been a bad dream. He wrapped his arms around her and pulled her in a hug, seeking comfort.

She held him for a few minutes and stroked his hair, then pulled back to look him in the eye. "I love you, Severus. We have each other. That's all that matters."

"I love you, too, mom."

"Go on. I don't want you to miss the train." said his mother. "Write to me as soon as you can."

"I will." promised Severus. He put his backpack over his shoulder and picked up Julie before turning on his heels and walking up to the train. He turned back before climbing the steps and wave to his mom, who waved back and then apparated away.

Severus stared at the spot she had been standing for a moment and then glanced at where Lily and her parents were saying their goodbyes. He didn't remember ever seeing them before but there were other things he couldn't remember either, like how he had injured his head. Suddenly, Lily's mother turned to look at him, probably sensing she was being watched. Severus got on the train hastily before she could take a good look and searched the compartments until he found his friends.

"What's with you? You look like you've been chased by a ghost." said Sirius. He was sprawled on a bench, looking through a quidditch magazine with James and Peter.

"Nothing." murmured Severus as he sat next to Remus on the other bench. The boy was dozing with his head against the window and his mouth slightly open. He looked pale and worn out.

"Is he sick again?" Severus asked quietly, careful not to wake him.

"I guess." answered James lazily without looking up from the magazine.

A few minutes later, the train pulled out of the station. Severus sat back in his seat, listening to the sound of the engine. He wondered whether Lily's family knew his father. If they did, they might know why he had left them and where he was now. He was torn. A part of him didn't want to find out. There was a good chance that his father hadn't changed, that he was still a mean scary man. If he came back it could ruin the peace his mother and him had found. But there was another part, a hopeful part that believed his father was capable of changing. After all, things hadn't always been bad. There had been times when he was a lot younger, that he could remember the big intimidating man smile at him and carry him in his arms.

"Seriously, what is with you?" Sirius tried again, staring at him with searching eyes.

Severus frowned. He knew his friends wouldn't understand even if he told them about his father. They were lucky. They lived in normal homes, with a normal mom and dad. Sirius even had a house elf servant that cleaned after him and obeyed his every order. Remus might understand but the boy had his own problems with his mother being sick and his own poor health.

"Nothing." snapped Severus. He picked up his cat and stood up. "I'm going to take Julie for a walk." he announced as he turned to leave.

"That's for dogs, you know." said James with a snort.

Severus didn't respond. He stepped into the corridor and closed the behind him. He could see someone at the other side of the corridor, staring out the window. As he got closer, he recognized the lone figure.

"Evan!" he exclaimed.

The other boy turned to look his way. He looked as gloomy as Severus felt but smiled a little as he recognized him. "Hey, Severus. I missed your chattering over the holiday." he said.

"I missed you, too." said Severus with a grin. Suddenly he remembered something and pushed Julie into the other boy's hands. "Hold her for a second I'll be right back!" With that he ran back to the compartment and grabbed his bag before running out again.

Evan watched him as he opened his bag and pulled out a wrapped box. "What is that?"

"That's your Christmas present." said Severus. He took Julie out of the other boy's hands and put the present in her place. "Merry Christmas." he added, smiling encouragingly at him.

"Oh." said Evan as he stared down at the box. "I didn't get you anything."

"That's alright. Don't you want to open it?"

The boy hesitated for a moment before tearing the wrapping and picking up the lid. "That's nice. I like cookies. Thanks Severus." he said before putting the lid back on. They stood in silence for a few minutes and Evan went back to staring out the window. "You don't have to stay here. You can go back to your friends if you want."

"I don't feel like hanging out with them right now." confessed Severus. "Sometimes, I feel like I have nothing in common with them. I don't know how to talk to them."

"I know what you mean." murmured Evan. He sighed and turned to look at him. "How was your holiday?"

Severus shrugged. "It was fine. My mom was working a lot but she had a couple of days off and then I went to James' house with the other boys. Their house was beautiful. It was really big and it had like ten bedrooms and a yard with a quidditch pitch."

"A big house isn't always a good thing. Makes it feel emptier."

"Yeah, maybe." agreed Severus. "What about you? What did you do over the break?"

"Nothing much. It hasn't been the same since my mother passed. My father's friends still invite us over but I'm not fond of any of their children."

"You can come visit me next year." offered Severus. "Or over the summer if you like."

"Thanks, Severus but I'm pretty sure my father wouldn't let me come."

"I live near Diagon Alley. We can see each other if you come for shopping."

"Diagon Alley? That sounds exciting."

"We live over a pub. It's called 'Dimitri's Dashing Dinner'. That's where my mom works."

"So, I should look for you in the pub?" asked Evan with a raised eyebrow.

Severus frowned in thought. "I'm not really allowed to go in there and the pub owner is kind of mean, so he might not let you in." he explained. "But if you stand in front of Flourish and Blotts, I could see you from my window."

Evan chuckled and shook his head. "I'll keep that in mind." he said, his eyes dancing with mirth. He opened the cookie box again and looked inside. "Which one of them should I try first?" he asked.

"Chocolate chip is my favorite." answered Severus.

Evan picked up a chocolate chip cookie and held the box out to him.

"I can't eat your cookies. It's all for you."

"Come on, Sev. There's no way I can finish all of it."

Severus wanted to argue but thought better of it. He reached over and took one. "If you're sure." he said before taking a bite.

They ate a couple of more of the chocolate chip cookies together and shared a pumpkin one. It made them both feel better.