A/N: Thanks for the reviews, folks, but did I lose a lot of readers somewhere along the line? seems like maybe I did, but that's okay, because we've come this far and I am determined to finish this story, no matter how long it takes! Now, on we go to Venice Beach :)

(For disclaimer, etc. - see chapter 1)

Chapter 18

"You're shaking," Jess noted as he and Rory walked through the airport together, his arm around her shoulders now.

"And I can't even pretend it's because I'm cold," she said with a nervous chuckle. "I don't know what's the matter with me. I mean, they're nice people, right? They have to be, they actually paid for us to be here," she said more to herself than to him.

Jess leaned in to kiss her temple. "They're nice people," he promised Rory as she looked at him. "They'll love you."

"I hope so." Rory sighed as they finally cleared the doors.

There was Jimmy, Sasha, and Lily all waiting for them on the other side, big grins on their faces, arms open for hugs. Jess hadn't thought too much about what he would feel when he saw them again. Honestly, he had been too busy calming Rory down. As much as she wanted to come along on this trip, it was pretty clear she was nervous as hell. Jess supposed he could understand that, but her worries had distracted him from any he might have of his own, any vague concerns that things might feel different or strange when he saw this side of his family again. Actually, it felt just fine, nice even, as Sasha made a big deal of hugging him and welcoming him back.

"I'm really glad you came," she told him happily.

"Yeah, me too," Jess agreed. "Uh, this is Rory, obviously."

"Wow, look at you." Sasha sighed, glancing between the young couple. "Yeah, I see it."

"See what?" asked Lily, frowning a little as she stared up at Rory and Jess.

"That, baby girl, is what love looks like," her mom told her, tipping a wink at Jess before offering to help Rory with her bags.

The women walked away, Lily trailing behind them and Jess found himself abandoned and alone with Jimmy.

"Hey, son," his father said with a half-smile. "So, you're here for the wedding."

"Apparently." Jess nodded. "You finally asked her."

"I finally did."

"Regrets?"

"Not a one. You?" asked Jimmy then, glancing over to where Rory was talking to Sasha still.

Jess stared in the same direction, smiling as he shook his head. "Not a one."

"So, what's the verdict?" Jess asked her as they walked along the boardwalk together.

"Verdict?" Rory echoed, unsure what exactly he meant.

Honestly, she had been so caught up in finally being alone with Jess again that she wasn't thinking much about anything besides how great it was to be holding his hand without feeling self-conscious. They did seem to get stared at a lot, especially by Lily.

"You met the wacky part of my family back east," he reminded her, "and now the slightly-less-wacky part here. So, what's the verdict? Still love me?"

Something in the way he said it wasn't quite a joke, but Rory wasn't exactly surprised by that. Poor Jess had been kicked around so much as a kid, abandoned and unloved, it was actually pretty tragic. Most of the time, Rory tried not to think about how much he had suffered, but there were times when it was unavoidable, especially since they were here visiting with the first person to walk out on Jess when he was just a baby.

"I'll be honest, I did not expect to like Jimmy so much," she admitted then. "I mean, knowing what happened when you were born, and given how much I love you, I just... I wasn't sure, but he's really cool. Honestly, he reminds me a lot of you."

"Huh."

"Oh, come on, you have to know that you guys are really similar."

"Maybe," Jess admitted, glancing away. "I mean, he is definitely where I get my love of decent music and decent books from."

"And your sense of humour, and those good looks of yours," Rory told him, grinning with amusement as he stared at her with wide eyes. "What? It all has to come from somewhere."

Jess laughed as he pulled her closer, the two of them continuing walking with their arms wrapped around each other. They had been in and around the beach at least three times since they came to Venice and there was nothing specific they were looking to see. Mostly, it was an excuse to get out of the house a while, let Sasha and Jimmy have some semblance of a wedding night without interruption (since Lil was staying over with the neighbour) and give the young people some alone time too.

Rory pointed out a diner as they came up to it, noting how it didn't look unlike Luke's back home. Though doubtless the food would never be quite as good, and there was no way the coffee could compare, they decided to go in. She was smiling while they ordered, but all too soon, the expression began to slip and she knew Jess couldn't fail to notice. If nothing else, it would obviously always be weird to him whe there was food in front of her and Rory wasn't actively eating.

"What?" he checked. "You suddenly don't look so thrilled to be here."

"It's not the diner, or the food," she told him, shaking her head. "It's just..."

"Is this about Sasha?" asked Jess, startling Rory more than a bit.

"Sasha?"

"You know, all that stuff about us being the next people to get married, because you know, she was just messing around. She does that, it's not serious."

"No, I wasn't... I mean, it was a little awkward," Rory admitted, "but it's fine. She told me she was kidding. In fact, she apologised if she embarrassed me or anything. I like Sasha," she assured him, actually smiling more genuinely now they were on the topic of his family again. "She actually reminds me of Mom sometimes."

Jess seemed to give that due consideration and then agreed with her. "Yeah, I guess she and Lorelai aren't complete opposites. She is so much easier to deal with than Liz, I know that."

"She and your dad seem really good together, and Lily is so sweet. Also, she has read so many books already, maybe even more than I had at her age." Rory shook her head. "That's really saying something."

"Tell me about it," Jess agreed. "It still kind of blows my mind that I just watched Jimmy and Sasha get married. I mean, I knew they loved each other and that it was probably going to happen eventually, but both my parents getting married again in the same year? Kind of weird."

"I guess it would be." Rory agreed, staring at Jess as he picked at his own food.

"So, I guess tomorrow we head north," he said, without looking up. "It's around a five hour drive to Monterey, but we can see Cannery Row, stay overnight, hit San Francisco and then come back. We're good for the money, as far as I can tell and... What?" he asked, finally glancing up at her.

"I do love you, a lot," she promised him. "You know that, right?"

He looked a little confused by the question at first but then slowly nodded. "I know."

"Good." Rory leaned across the table to kiss him quickly and then concentrated on her food at last. "This looks good and even if it's not as good as Luke's, which, let's face it, it can't be, I'm so hungry, I don't think I'll care."

"Like there's a time when you're ever not hungry," Jess teased her.

Though he smiled when he said it, Jess wasn't entirely feeling that joy that showed on his face. Not that hearing that Rory loved him was a bad thing. It actually made him feel a little better about this whole situation, but only a very little bit, if he was honest.

He got to talking to Sasha last night, while Rory was in the shower and Jimmy had taken Lil to get pizza. First, they discussed the wedding and then the conversation shifted. She asked how things were going with him and Rory, and him telling her it was all fine just didn't seem to cut it.

She knew. Sasha always knew. Jess learned very quickly why Jimmy had ideas that there was something of the witch about his lover, because she really did have this freakish way of just knowing things. She knew instinctively that something was wrong in Rory and Jess' relationship. She told him she just saw it somehow.

"She wants to go back. Back to her hometown and her mom and Yale," he had explained, all without actually looking her way.

"Uh-huh, and you knew that she would, right?"

"Sure." Jess had nodded, knowing Sasha was staring at him, just wating for him to look up, so eventually he had to. "What?"

"You know what, Jess?" she told him with a sigh. "You're acting like she's betraying you by doing what you always knew she was going to do. She has a life. From what you said, she's pretty taken with it, but she clearly also wants to be with you," she summed up, the way only Sasha could. "So, what's stopping you from going and being part of her life in Connecticut?"

"I tried it once. It didn't work out," he reminded her.

After all, she had been the one he mostly spilled his guts to about the whole situation last time. Sure, Jimmy got to hear some of it too, but Sasha was better with the emotional stuff - Jimmy's words, nobody else's.

"You do remember how many times me and Jimmy fought the first time you were here, right?" Sasha had said then, all in Jess' face so he couldn't look away if he wanted to. "Jess, sweetheart, in relationships, sometimes, you just get it wrong. You're gonna screw up, she's gonna screw up, but that's okay. You learn from it and you move forward. If you love each other enough, that moving forward part? It's something you do together."

It was good advice and all made sense, Jess couldn't deny it. Honestly, the larger part of him really did want to commit to this thing with Rory. He wanted to say he would go back with her, find a place in Stars Hollow or New Haven or Hartford, somewhere that could be his, maybe even theirs. He wanted to, but something stopped him, every time.

As much as he loved Rory, and he truly did, there was just this feeling of doubt, a constant niggling worry in his stomach that wouldn't go away, no matter how much he tried to ignore it. Last time, he messed up, in so many ways he lost count. Rory could forgive him and that was fine, but it didn't mean it wouldn't happen again. He might get bored, get jealous, get stupid. Fight with her mother, hit her ex-boyfriend, piss off his uncle. Those were just the kinds of things Jess Mariano did. Anyone in Stars Hollow would tell you that if you asked.

"Hey, dreamer," said Rory, pulling him from an over-thoughtful daze with her hand on his arm that rested between them on the diner table. "You okay?"

"Just thinking," he said, not a lie, at least, as he met her bright blue eyes and wondered how he could ever, in a million years, consider going on from here without her.

Jess had an idea to ask her about it, to see what she thought about him going back east with her and trying to build a life together there. Of course, if he did ask her, he was well aware that she could say no and break his heart. Then there was the chance she would say yes, and that would mean he would actually have to go through with it, come what may. He wasn't sure right now which option bothered him more.

"Don't think too hard," Rory advised him, clearly concerned. "You'll hurt yourself."

"Maybe," he admitted, picking her hand up from the table and kissing it. "You're amazing, you know that, right?" he told her then.

"That's always nice to hear," she admitted, blushing all the same.

The waitress came over then and asked if they wanted anything else. Jess watched as Rory ordered an extra piece of pie for dessert without even flinching. The fact she could put away twice the amount of food any normal person would try to eat in one sitting always made him smile, even if he wasn't sure why.

That was his Rory, at least for now. He had meant what he said about her being amazing because she truly was and in too many ways for him to count. Unsurprisingly, a Steinbeck quote came to mind as he watched her, not from Cannery Row, like he just mentioned, but from East of Eden.

'I believe a strong woman may be stronger than a man, particularly if she happens to have love in her heart. I guess a loving woman is indestructible.'

Maybe she could not be broken by anything anymore, but Jess wondered about himself. Men were supposed to be so tough, so invulnerable, especially guys like him, but it wasn't true. He had proved that when he ran from Rory and Luke and Stars Hollow the first time, all the way here, to California. He couldn't risk that again, getting into a place where all he could do to make it better was bolt. Couldn't do it to himself or to Rory, because then that really would be it, game over, for good this time.

It left Jess in the quandary of still not knowing where they were supposed to go from here, or whether he should really be going anywhere at all when Rory finally headed home. He supposed he was going to have to think about it a lot more in the next couple of days and hope the answer came to him before time ran out.

To Be Continued...