He scrolled through their messages with a flick of his thumb, slouched on the couch with his phone in hand. Lost in his own thoughts. He didn't even notice the Crystal Gems enter the living room for a few moments.

"Hey dude!" Amethyst called out when she entered and moved immediately to the fridge. Garnet and Pearl were right behind her caught up in their own conversation. Which promptly trailed off.

"Ah, Steven. Why are you still in your pajamas?" Pearl asked.

"I just woke up."

"It's noon though..."

He shrugged. "Casual Fridays?"

Pearl glanced over to Garnet then back. "It's Wednesday. Steven are you, alright?"

He looked up finally, putting on a smile. "Yea, why wouldn't I be?"

"Bruh no offense Steven," Amethyst paused to slurp down a burrito on one go. "But you look like the beanbag chair that time I rode it down the stairs and half the beads spilled out."

He didn't get the analogy at all. "Thanks...?"

Garnet and Pearl shared another look. It was like they could talk without speaking sometimes, all right over his head.

"We were just going to go test the new warps in the Galaxy Warp." Pearl folded her hands together and fidgetted. "Do you want to come with us...?"

"Naw I'm just. Taking a me day. Lazy day, you know." He swallowed hard, 'Besides I'd probably manage to screw that up somehow too anyway.' he thought.

"Alright, well if you need anything just text ok?" Pearl's gaze lingered for a moment before they turned to head for the warp pad. Even Garnet glanced back a moment before they warped away.

He slid down onto the couch again with a long groan. 'I am an idiot.' Of course they were noticing, how would they not he'd lived with them for over seven years. He pulled out his phone and stared at his and Connie's texts again. All the recent texts were from Connie, spaced out over the last few days. He should try to talk to her about this, she was smart and good with this sort of thing. But... she was still busy with cram school. She didn't need to be dealing with his issues right now. No. He needed to talk to someone though.

He scrolled down through his contacts. He'd added pretty much everyone on the boardwalk and then some to his phone. But right there near the top he saw his dad's photo. He sat up, realizing he hadn't gone to visit his dad in about a week. He hopped off the couch and grabbed his jacket, and almost called out to tell Spinel he was leaving before remembering she was at the construction site with Bismuth, Peridot and Lapis. Maybe he could swing by after he talked to his dad. He grabbed the car keys off the peg by the door and speed walked down the stairs as the front door slid shut behind him. His dad always had good advice for this stuff.

He climbed out of the Dondai and shut the door behind him before dropping the key into his jacket pocket. His dad barely lived a minute drive from the Temple which was nice... and really meant he had no excuse for not stopping by to see him more often. He really hadn't been in the mood to talk to anyone in general the last couple months though to be fair, not just his Dad. It was very cold out and the trees in town had shed their leaves- fall was in full swing already this October which made him wish he had actually gotten dressed before leaving but oh well.

He walked around to the back of the van, peering into the window of the Car Wash to see if Dad was in the office space. Didn't look like it. So he turned and knocked on the back doors.

Nothing. "Uhhhhg, dad come on." He knocked again and still got no response so he made his way around to the side of the van and banged his palms against it rapidly like a drum.

A second later the back of the van flung open and out spilled an empty soda can followed by Greg, who was rubbing his eyes. "Woah who- Oh, Steven."

Despite everything he chuckled, "Hey dad. I figured I'd stop by and chat for a little bit. Ah, if that's alright anyway."

"Oh- yea of course bud. Business isn't exactly boomin' here anyway heh." Dad sat down on the back of the van, leaving enough room for Steven to sit next to him which he did. The pillow and quilt were both out and flung to one side- 'Yea not very busy. He was taking a nap.' He snorted.

The van's heating was spotty at best even with the doors closed but there was still a faint warmth at his back as they sat and gazed at Beach City. Down the road a Quartz was out jogging and rounded a bend deeper into the town.

"Man things have really been moving fast lately huh? With that new gem town cropping up down the road. It's weird seeing so many gems around Beach City."

"Mhm." Steven nodded and glanced over. His dad was staring up at the clouds.

"So how have things been with the Gems? Busy I imagine?"

"Pretty much the usual. With all the extra hands around they think they've rounded up almost all the corrupted gems that were left." He sighed, "The new gems seeing what the Diamond's did first hand has cemented their views."

"You sound like you aren't so sure if that's a good thing or not."

He didn't respond for a moment, he didn't know how to word it really. "I don't know anymore." He admitted finally. "I thought I could fix the diamonds, help them be better people but I didn't really make any progress there."

"I don't think you should beat yourself up over them." Greg sighed "Rose didn't talk about them much but I didn't get the impression they were going to change their mind's that easily. I mean she must have tried too right?"

Steven knew he needed to talk about this, it was why he came in the first place but opening up was more difficult that he imagined.

"At least you don't have to shoulder so much of the work now though." Dad added, "You aren't exactly a normal kid but still all this, you fighting monsters and space tyrants and such. It was stressing me out."

That struck deeper than he thinks his dad realized. "S' not like I'm going on any missions any time soon anyway..." he grumbled.

"What's wrong?" His dad sounded troubled, finally cluing in that something was on Steven's mind. He felt torn, worse than before. Then finally it broke and he spoke up.

"I screwed up dad, I screwed up bad. I should have been able to talk the Diamonds around- at least Blue, she's more approachable than Yellow or White but-" Now that he had started he couldn't stop or slow down, the words just spilled out. "I almost got the Gems shattered, I almost got Connie killed-"

"Oh Steven, I-" His dad spoke up quietly but he kept going.

"And what do I do to make it right? How do I fix all that? Oh I don't know let's go start another Gem War!" He paused for a breath finally, blinking the tears out of his eyes before they could really form. "I just... I keep screwing everything up. It's no wonder the Gems don't want me going on missions anymore.."

That hung in the air for a long moment, in the silence. The he felt his Dad's hand on his shoulder and he asked quietly, "Did they say that, or is that how you feel?"

He let out a long sigh before admitting, "Feel." He looked up to his dad who gave a gentle smile. Steven got what he meant by that.

"I think you need to talk to the gems about this buddy. They just want you to be safe and happy, same as me." He patted his back, "I'm not the most knowledgable about all this gem war stuff but I know the gems well enough to know they don't blame you for any of this."

He knew all of this, but that wasn't really the point. He'd needed to vent to someone. Though hearing his own thoughts played back to him, what he thought he needed to do, was reassuring. He felt, better.

"Besides. If every porkchop were perfect," Greg grinned, "We wouldn't have hotdogs." 'No.' "Everyone makes mistakes every now and then, we just have to move on and make the best of..."

His dad kept rambling on but he tuned it out. 'The gems need a porkchop right now, not a mistake.' Greg didn't even notice the van's radio cut out as he trucked on with his pseudo-philosophical ramblings about mistakes and growing as a person, as Steven ran over the scenario in his head like he had a hundred times before. He knew the gems as well as they knew him after all. He knew what would happen. Amethyst would start trying to hang out with him more just to make him feel better, not because she wanted to. Pearl would start freaking out about everything and get super self-conscious again, blaming herself. And Garnet would probably give him some bullshit analogy filled advice that wouldn't make sense until after he'd already screwed up again which kind of defeated the point of her telling him at all. About as useful as his dad's.

"Yea sure." He finally interrupted, pulling out his phone to check the time, "Hey ah sorry to leave so suddenly but I just wanted to drop by for a little bit I've ah, got stuff to do in town."

"Oh, alright yea. Take care!" The van radio kicked back on as Steven walked to the Dondai.

"Yea, you too..."