Chapter 17
Into the Tunnel
"Quick! After him!" Spike shouted, swinging onto Big Mac's back as he barreled by.
Rainbow Dash made like a shot, but a haze of darkness went up and she couldn't see where she was going. She crashed noisily into a tree. Spike used an incantation to dispel the darkness, but the figure had already moved on.
Discord pointed, "Over there!"
The thief cackled maniacally as he made off with their prize.
"Is this the thieving apprentice the chimera talked about?" Pinkie asked as she ran to keep up with Big Mac.
"Maybe," he growled.
"We've just got to catch him," Discord said. "But he's weaving so well that I cannot get a clear shot!"
Indeed, the mysterious figure bobbed and weaved expertly through the sudden, magical growth. The party kept on his heels as best as they could. He kept using spells to impede them if they drew to close and he had a knack for finding ruins that still stood to dodge behind.
"Why is this happening to us now?" Spike muttered. "We almost made it! This can't be another one of the Gazer's minions, could it?"
He concentrated to try and make out the being as it sprinted away. It was hunched and ran with a bipedal gait. Its darkness acted more like a cloak than as part of its own body. There were things like curved spines that protruded from it. It ran with more grace and speed than its shape would have indicated.
Discord tried to fire off another shot, but his arrow got lodged in a tree. He growled and began firing exploding arrows. He and Big Mac carved a way through the forest using sword and eruption magic, but the thief remained as always one step ahead. It finally arrived at the mouth of a cavernous entrance into the old city's underbelly. It stopped, waved at them, and then leaped inside.
"Ugh! It's so dark down there, you can't see a thing," Rainbow Dash said once she arrived at the lip of the cave. "He could sneak right past us and we'd never see a thing!"
Spike shot a lighting spell into the cavern and illuminated a curved path down into the earth. But it was shallower than he had anticipated. In fact, the cavern dropped barely a story before curving to run parallel with the world above. And it was pretty wide, too.
"Ha! Now he can't escape!" Dash exclaimed.
Pinkie began playing a marching tune. The boys shrugged but decided to lead the way into the cave. In order to complete their quest and get out of the game. They needed to find the thief and get back to the Gazer. The crawl was slow at first as they got used to the rocky terrain inside the cave, but they took heart as they observed that were no other tunnels that broke off from or converged with their own.
They quickened their pace, determined to catch the thief. And just up ahead was a dim light. It got larger and brighter as they approached.
"What do you think that is?" Big Mac asked.
"Trouble," Discord answered cryptically. "Better be prepared for whatever happens next."
But how could they?
[BE READY FOR WEIRDNESS! IF YOU WANT CLARIFICATIONS, READ THE VILLAINOUS VIGILANTES!]
What followed was a series of events that made no sense, even in the context of an Ogres and Oubliettes game. First, they found themselves walking into a completely new forest. The air smelled old and full of magic. There was no sign of the thief but a faint trail of light footprints. The rogue and archer used their skills to track where they led.
These footprints led them to clash with a group that called themselves the Villainous Vigilantes. A truly strange group of mostly villains, comprised of a massive dragon named Darkstalker, who looked like the night come to life and had a pouch strapped around his neck with the head of one mercenary named Deadpool. There was also floating, tophatted triangle named Bill Cipher, who seemed to know Discord and the Lord of Chaos even knew something of him.
"Why am I not surprised by this?" Rainbow Dash asked out loud.
And three beings called humans. One was a teenager, who merely mumbled his name, a murderer named Ricardo Revolver, and a man with spikes driven through his eyes and spoke in a grinding voice. His name was Huon. They were all after another member of their group, a being called Sosuke Aizen, who had betrayed them.
"With this company, who can blame him?" Discord snickered to the others.
The two parties did not know what to make of each other, but somehow they came to an accord and made their journey together, seeing as how their paths seemed bound in the same direction. They crossed the length of what happened to be a massive board game made for people too unimaginative or boring to play actual Dungeons and Dragons.
"What's that?" Spike asked, interested.
"It's a game similar to your own super nerdy and wish-fulfillment fantasy game, Ogres and Omelets," Bill replied, sounding annoyed at the question.
"Oubliettes," Spike corrected him. The triangle thing drifted off, it's eye telling the young dragon that he was thoroughly uninterested.
Though they joined forces, they still kept to themselves. Rainbow Dash and Big Mac both made arguments that they should all split up and try to find the thief, while Discord and Pinkie Pie said that it would be better to stick with the Vigilantes.
"They look like they could use our help!" Pinkie said.
Discord nodded and added, "Plus, we can let these obvious DPS sponges take all the hitting when it finally comes to a fight!"
The deciding vote fell to Spike. The small wizard finally went with his gut and the thought of what Twilight would do in this situation. He gave his vote to stay with the Villainous Vigilantes. As a result, they ended up having some good conversation with the Vigilantes. As a result, they were able to see that this strange collection of villains was on the road to some kind of redemption, thought it was beyond the small party.
Eventually, they made their way deeper into the game and found themselves traveling onto a very real hell-scape. That was were they found their thief and he was beside many, many powerful entities. For one, there was the traitor Aizen, another humanoid being, though he seemed very different. Two dimensional, like a cartoon. But he was not the only weird thing.
There were massive ships and monsters that cleaved opened the burning sky and armies descended from the rifts, filling the land. Forces clashed and the surrounding castles, mountains, cliffs and plains were shattered under the sheer weight of unrelenting power. It was a magic that bent reality and twisted stories to the center of a gravitational well of Will and Presence. No less than three beings walked this battlefield like gods.
Spike and his friends might have been no more than ants to them.
A Guardian.
A Tscheapwhetzar.
And an Abomination.
But for the party, what really counted was the thief they finally cornered on the battlefield. He cackled and grew in size. His body bubbled and bulged to form a Black Ogre. Pinkie squealed and exclaimed that they were going up against one of the most powerful creatures in the entire game. Spike, Big Mac and Discord didn't need to be told.
It was a wicked fight and the ogre taunted them with riddles. "You have no idea who the real villain is!" "Whether you win or lose, I win!" "Forgers of keys, you have crafted your own doom!"
It took all their reserves to finally defeat the ogre and bring him down. They quickly retrieved the figurine of the chimera before anyone else could snatch it from them. Then they were left with a heavy question. Should they run and take their prize to finally escape this game? Or were they going to join the Vigilantes and bring an end to their own quest?
They stood for friendship. It was the greatest magic. And they could not turn their backs on people they now knew, especially those who were dying. The party charged in and helped the Villainous Vigilantes win their fights and find freedom.
It was after Aizen finally fell and Darkstalker redeemed himself that a cloaked figure descended from the burning skies. He wore a mask in the form of a grinning skull. He strode up to the Vigilantes and congratulated them, but he also turned to the party and thanked them. He shook hands with Spike. The dragon flinched at the pinch of static electricity between them.
"Well done! Nobody is going to believe that characters made to teach lessons to little girls could stand toe-to-toe with the likes of Sosuke Aizen and Shadows! But you did magnificently. Please, allow me to help you all home."
With that, he tore an opening in the sky. It led them right back to the forest that grew atop Aagloo. Pinkie asked, "Couldn't you just send us back to Ponyville?"
"And end a perfectly fine story?" the masked man laughed. "Not at all! You are well enough equipped to defeat whatever forces placed you here. I don't want to take that victory away from you. Now, hop to! I don't want the shiny bucket back there to get in the way and ruin this moment."
He thumbed over his shoulder at a magnificent figure descending from the sky, garbed in white armor and a cape. The party stood in awe, unable to move. The world suddenly lurched and they fell through the rift and appeared back into the forest, right back at the lip of the cave.
[END THE STRANGENESS, AND NOW BACK TO OUR REGULARLY SCHEDULED FANFIC!]
"Does anyone have any clue as to what in the name of Equestria just happened?" Rainbow Dash demanded. "Discord! Any thoughts?"
"Um… I think that the author had an idea for a gran crossover, that was semi-well executed, but is really nothing more than a prelude to the greatest and most daunting crossover in all of fan fiction history. This was nothing more than a reminder of what is really going on out there and that we are only players in a much grander game."
"And… What does that mean?" Spike prompted.
Discord shrugged and replied, "Honestly, I chalk it up to laziness, but I don't think we should forget what we just witnessed back there. It makes no sense. At least not yet."
"Woah! So cryptic," Pinkie said.
"Well, I'm going to leave all that behind!" Dash commented.
"Yup!"
"I agree," Spike said, scratching his hand. "This just felt like a distraction and honestly I kind of want to forget it. The masked guy was right. We have something else to do. We still need to defeat the Gazer!"
"Huzzah!" the others cheered.
"We have all four figurines. We can finally go up and beat that pompous collection of eyeballs," Discord said smugly.
"Oh yeah!" Pinkie shouted. "Now let's get planning!"
"Huzzah?" Rainbow Dash said skeptically.
"You cannot do this to me!" the Squizzard screamed. "My princess, plea- UGH!"
Rarity tightened the ropes and chains around the Squizzard. Her horn blazed as she irritably made sure that the tyrant was secured in his bonds. She gave an sharp huff and turned her back on the Squizzard, leaving him on the balcony of his second castle.
"But you called me! My agent promised me that you were going to-"
"Going to finally become your princess," Starlight scoffed. "You have to be a real two-dimensional villain to believe that something like that would ever work! If that is your only ambition, you don't deserve to win. Take it from a reformed villain."
"You sound awfully smug when saying that," Twilight said, worried.
"Ha! Sometimes it just feels good to monologue," Starlight said with a tired smirk.
"You really think that I'm a two-dimensional villain?" The Squizzard wailed.
"Alright, I've had enough of your yammerin'" Applejack said, bucking the Squizzard right off the balcony.
"AAAAAAAAAHHHHH! I WILL BE BAAAaaaaaaaack!"
The Squizzard and his annoying voice disappeared swiftly. The friends all took a collective breath and sigh of relief.
"Sorry about putting you through that, Rarity?" Starlight apologized.
"It's quite alright, dearie. As you said, it was our best bet to become part of the story, and it looks like it worked. The guards let us in and everything! Not to mention us actually entering this game world. It's way more niche and simplistic than I thought it would."
"I think all of the cutout stuff just lasts around this kingdom, Beyond these borders it starts looking and feeling way more real, trust me," Starlight said.
"So where to next?" Applejack asked.
Twilight smirked. "We now use some magic and Rarity to win over the guards. Then we start sending out messages. We can't move autonomously from our position without somehow entering the story of Spike and others. I guess we were allowed to do this because it fits into a side quest, at least that is what the manual says."
She held up a large and dogeared book that Spike had been using. She pointed with her hoof and said, "It's all here. I have to admit, the makers of this game went way deeper than I thought. They make room for all kinds of new lore, special rules magic, and other things to get put in here. it's a game that is supposed to fit any kind of player and make them feel wanted!"
"Sounds like you actually want to play," Fluttershy said knowingly.
The princess tried to brush off the comment and said, "It's not like I would want to play! I am way too busy, and this is such a time-consuming game when I could be living in the real world and experiencing all that it has to offer!"
"I agree," Applejack said with a sharp nod. "Best get to fooling those guards so we can recruit them to finding Big Mac and the others!"