I had a gut feeling. It coiled, snake-like, in the pit of my stomach.

I hadn't been counting the days religiously - as I probably should have been - but there was this constant, sickening gut feeling. I knew I was nearing the end of my stay in this century.

Ha, I say it so casually… like my frigging vacation's ending or something.

To be perfectly honest, I'd been so caught up in my rose-hued love bubble with William, that each day seamlessly bled into the next. We'd just been so darn happy, that I kept putting off our inevitable, impossible conversation. Where would I even begin? What would I even say?

Do I tell the whole truth, part of the truth… or none of the truth at all?

A substantial, sentimental part of me cowered away from all the truths which would hurt William the most. Especially since he's recently been wearing the most radiant, sunny smile…
But as the Slayer, I knew I had to think tactically. Take all the emotion out. So, most crucially, I had to figure out which level of truth gave me the best chance of being reunited with Spike in my time. Even if that meant breaking poor William's heart…

Oh Buffy, you've made such a mess.

Whilst the repercussions wouldn't be half as messy as the Scoobies' original plan - for me to kill William and thus eradicate Spike from existence - I'd certainly done a lot of potential damage to the timeline in my own disobedient way. For once, thinking with my heart, not with my head.

I hadn't planned on falling in love with him…

Whilst I had no tangible regrets, my impending return to the twenty-first century loomed over my head. Whatever my repercussions were, they suddenly felt terrifyingly real. Inescapable.

But first things first: I had to endure possibly the most heartbreaking conversation of my life. And hope and pray with all my heart that Spike, my William, would be waiting for me on the other side…

"Do not leave me in this abyss, where I cannot find you."

William was bustling around his bedroom, grumbling under his breath as he hunted for his favourite tie. He'd just informed me that he'd been invited to a big dinner party, hosted by Cecily's family, which he'd entirely forgotten about.

Now, I may be slightly to blame for that…

"So, it's a dinner party… at Cecily's?" I questioned with a quirked eyebrow.

"I know how it must sound to you, Elizabeth," William sighed. "But the Addams' have always been well acquainted with my family. Mother…" his voice caught slightly, yet he continued firmly. "She would want me to keep up appearances, to maintain our family ties. I know that she would have wanted me to go."

"I get that," I appeased gently. "But William… do you actually want to go?"

"Aha!" William triumphantly held up the coveted tie; it was a burnt orange colour, which complimented the pastel blue of his waistcoat nicely. He deftly tied it in a neat knot around his neck, before consulting his reflection in the opposite mirror. His blue eyes met mine through the glass. "Of course I don't want to - not really."

"So… let's just stay in for the evening instead! Just us two."

So I can stop making excuses, and get this dreaded conversation over and done with.
Before it's too late.

I approached William earnestly, wrapping my arms around him from behind. I pressed a lingering kiss to his neck. "Doesn't that sound good to you?"

William turned round to face me, capturing my lips in a blissful kiss. "Better than good. In fact, frankly, there's nothing I'd rather do," he smiled lovingly, stroking my cheek.

I can feel a 'but' coming…

"Yet, I'm afraid my mind's made up, Elizabeth. I have to at least show my face tonight, for my mother's sake."

"But William, those people… they were awful to you!" I wrinkled my nose with disdain. "Cecily included!"

"Perhaps… but with you by my side, I feel I can conquer anything." He took my hand, and pressed a gentle kiss atop it. I couldn't hide my smile which mirrored his own.

"Ugh," I mock grimaced. "You're too cute to argue with…"

"Come, Elizabeth!" he beamed in response. "We have scant minutes until we must leave, lest we be frightfully late!"

"Wait, William, I…" I trailed off as he abruptly broke away from my embrace, readjusting his tie in the mirror. "I need to talk to you, before we leave -"

"There's no time, I'm afraid, darling," he replied hurriedly, donning his jacket. "Can it wait? Perhaps we could find a private corner at the party…" he suggested with a tentative smile, entwining my fingers with his. His palm was slightly clammy.

He's all nervous and jittery about the party, bless him. Which means he's definitely not in the right frame of mind to receive a bombshell of any description - let alone several…

"…Yeah. Yeah, let's do that." I pecked his lips, before glancing up at him concernedly. "Are you sure you definitely wanna go? With me, especially - aren't you worried about what people will say, what they'll think?"

"I know I said that I wanted to attend the Addams' party in order to keep up appearances…" William's nervous smile suddenly transformed into a devilish smirk. "Yet, this does not rule out the significant part of me which simply yearns to set some tongues wagging."

God, I could've ravished him there and then.

That's my Spike.

I settled for an impassioned, lust-driven kiss, plunging my tongue into his mouth. He moaned softly against my lips, and reflexively wrapped his arms around me, crushing me tightly to his chest.

I savoured the kiss with every fibre of my being, for the taunting voices consuming my thoughts had made me constantly fear that every kiss could potentially be our last…

"Care for an hors d'oeuvre, Miss?"

"No, thank you," I replied, smiling graciously at the waiter.

"Sir?"

"I'm quite alright, thank you."

When William and I had entered the room, arm in arm, all eyes were on us. I heard several hushed voices, paired with scathing, judgemental looks cast in my direction. However, when these fellow party guests' gazes fixed upon William, I noticed that familiar new-found respect, subsequent to what happened with Vincent in the tavern, still lingering in their eyes.

I'm still so proud of him, for how far he's come.

I wonder what this party would've been like for him if he was still the same shy, stuttering, overly-sensitive William.

If he hadn't met me…

"With you by my side, I can conquer anything."

Although, there was one pair of eyes which were lingering on William a little too long for my liking. Cecily approached us, looking irritatingly stunning in a silver-laced, lilac dress.

"William," she gushed, curtseying before him with a dazzling smile. "How delightful it is to see you!"

"Good evening, Cecily," William replied politely, placing a reassuring hand on the small of my back.

Her gaze flickered briefly over to me. Her tone was icy, yet she wore a smile which reeked of forced formalities. "Miss. Elizabeth…"

I linked my arm firmly back through his. "Charmed, I'm sure." My voice dripped with sarcasm, yet my tight-lipped smile mirrored hers.

"So, dear William." Her attentions were instantly back on my man. I tightened my grip on his arm protectively. "I must say, you do look dashingly handsome this evening."

William's tone was wary. "Uh… thank you, Cecily, I -"

"There's just something about you, William," Cecily interrupted, still pointedly ignoring me. She whipped out her fan, and began fluttering it in front of her face flirtatiously.

What a goddamn floozy…

"Me? The man whom you've rejected time and time again?" William let out a bark of strangled laughter.

William's sarcasm didn't seem to perturb Cecily in the slightest. "I can't quite put my finger on what it is," she continued smoothly, "but you've changed, somehow. It's as if I'm suddenly seeing you in a new light…" Cecily trailed off, her hungry gaze sweeping up and down the length of his body.

I stood, uncharacteristically mute, knowing that this was solely William's battle to win. However, this didn't stop my possessive grip on him from tightening even further.

How fucking dare she?!

"And yet, truth be told, dearest Cecily, I haven't changed. Not really," William stuck his chin out defiantly. "It's just that you never tried to… to see me." My heart hammered with pride.

"But, now I do see you!" Cecily cut in, her tone becoming increasingly desperate. She clearly hadn't been expecting such a frosty reception from the man who was previously 'enamoured' with her…

"And I'm afraid, Cecily, it is a little too late," William replied, his tone firm yet not unkind. His adoring eyes swivelled pointedly over to me, his hand enclosing over mine.

"Her," Cecily spat bitterly. "You would truly prefer this… this vulgar American to me?"

One more word, bitch, and you'll see just how 'vulgar' I can be…

"Years upon years, you have been pining after me, William, professing your undying love -"

"And for that, Cecily, I do profusely apologise. I was misled… what I felt for you - it was mere infatuation, not love. And Elizabeth," he once again turned to face me, before pressing a soft kiss to my hand. "This beautiful, warm, witty and most wonderful American woman, is the love of my life."

Cecily, for once, appeared to be satisfyingly speechless.

William then took her hand and pressed a chaste kiss atop it, lingeringly locking his gaze with hers, his blue eyes smouldering. Her breath visibly hitched in her chest. "Thank you for your courteous invitation tonight, Cecily." His deep, silken voice washed over us both like a warm, arousing wave. "I do hope you have a most pleasant evening."

With a flourish, he then wound a protective arm back around me, as he guided me away through the crowds without a single backwards glance. After obediently holding my tongue for so long, I couldn't resist turning to shoot Cecily a smug smile over my shoulder. I inwardly cackled at her expression; she stood, completely flummoxed and flustered, fanning herself vigorously.

And thus… Spike is born.

Once we'd reached the other side of the room, I hugged William gleefully.

"That… was… amazing!" I gushed. He blew out the breath he'd seemingly been holding, chuckling warmly. "I'm so proud, William - you really told her!"

"Yes, I suppose I did," He gently took my face in his hands. "You, on the other hand, were uncharacteristically quiet!"

"It was hard," I grinned wryly, "but I just about managed to keep my mouth shut. This was your moment, William."

"Although, in some ways, Cecily was right," William interjected softly. "I have changed, for the better - and it's all thanks to you. Darling Elizabeth… you've taught me how to believe in myself - how to be brave." He stroked my check with the pad of his thumb, his eyes brimming with emotion. "And, best of all, you showed me how it feels to be loved."

My heart felt ready to burst out of my chest.

I love him so much.

Uncaring and unfazed by the surrounding swarm of party guests, we kissed. In that moment, all background noise faded, the scene around us blurred into oblivion; it was as if it was just William and I. I passionately crushed my lips against his, and closed my eyes blissfully as he deepened the kiss. I couldn't imagine ever kissing anyone else. All I wanted was his lips, his kiss… and his love forever. When he finally pulled away, he broke into a giddy smile.

"Did you want us to find that private corner presently, Elizabeth? So… we can talk, as you wished?"

I nodded mutely, a thousand tortured thoughts rushing through my head at once. Desperately, cravingly, I found his lips again.

I pray to God this isn't our last kiss.

Please… there can't ever be a last. We were never meant to have a last.