Ford had been called many things in his life. Stanford. Ford. Stan (though he had hated whenever people called him that). Sixer. Poindexter. IQ. Mr. Pines. Human. Other alien names for humans... The list went on.

He walked out of the portal, and into a room he hadn't been in for thirty years, to see the man who had shoved him through. Stan was looking healthy, and he stepped towards Ford, spreading his arms open wide.

"Finally, after all these long years of waiting." Stan was smiling, and Ford could almost see tiny tears collecting behind his glasses. "Brother!"

Ford rushed forward, and swung his fist into Stan's face. Stan recoiled, and rubbed his injured jaw. "Ow! What on earth was that for?"

"This was an insanely risky move, restarting the portal." Ford snapped, bending both elbows just in case he needed to hit Stan again. "Didn't you read my warnings?!"

"Warnings shmornings, how's about a little thanks for saving you from what appears to be... A Sci-fi sideburn dimension?" Stan asked, folding his arms, and turning his head away from Ford.

"Thank you?" Ford asked, squinting at Stan like he was crazy. "You seriously expect me to thank you after what you did thirty years ago!?"

Stan rolled his eyes, "Look, that was an accident. You have to admit that I did my best getting you back."

Ford rolled his own eyes, a frustrated sigh escaping his lips. "Yes," he said sarcastically, "An 'accident'. And I didn't want you to do your best! I wanted you to keep the world safe!"

Stan sighed, and grumbled something under his breath. "Look Lee. I don't know where you've been, but I seriously did do my best. I spent thirty years working on a way to stabilize the portal, just so you could meet..." He stepped to the side, and held his arms out to indicate two children, about the age of eleven, both with twin looks of shock and amazement.

So there were children there. Great. Just Stanley being his average... Wait. Did he just call Ford Lee?

"Stanley." He said carefully, staring only at his brother. "What did you just call me?"

Stan sighed, "You've changed just as much as Fidds, haven't you? And for the record, you're Stanley."

So... Ford was a bit confused. No wait, he was very confused. This was making no sense, Stanley thought that Ford was Stan, and there were children, and an overgrown gopher person. And Stan thought that these children were worth the fate of the universe just for Ford to meet them? How significant to his life did they have to be?! And Stanley knew Fiddleford? What was going on.

Ford shook his head, trying to jerk his thoughts into making sense. Stan walked over to the children, and placed his strong hands on their shoulders. "Now, he might not look that much now," he told them, pushing them gently forward. "But that man is the Author of the Journals."

The boys mouth dropped immediately, but the next words Stan said shocked even Ford.

"Your grandfather."

"Oh man... Oh man... Do you think that there have been complications? Could they die? Are they going to be alright. She's been back there for a really long time... Oh I'm going to mess this up aren't I?"

Lee looked up from his book, and tried to smile at his brother, who was apparently trying to pace a hole into the waiting room floor.

"Stan, seriously, you're more nervous then I am." Lee said, snapping his second journal shut. "And I'm the one who threw up." He let out a tired chuckle, "Plus, she's only been in there for an hour. This could last all night."

Stan sighed, and flumped himself down on one of the green chairs right next to Lee. "Great. Just great."

Lee looked over at Stan, and gave him a comforting smile. "She'll be fine." He said, mostly to himself. "Millions of women around the world go through this, and most of them survive..."

"Well, you're just a cup of sunshine." Stan sighed, "It's not the birth that scares me."

Lee raised an eyebrow, and he lifted one foot to rest on top of his other knee. He waited quietly until Stan said, "I'm worried about how bad of an uncle I'm going to be."

Lee rolled his eyes. "Stanford, no matter what you do, you'll be the best uncle this kid has, at least on my side of the family."

Stan shrugged, and ran a finger under the collar of his white t-shirt. "Yeah... But that's not saying much."

Lee smiled tiredly at his brother, and punched him playfully in the arm. "It says a lot in my book." He said, and yawned, "If you really want to be a good uncle, you can start with helping the kid's dad. I'd like a pillow." He leaned his head over and Stan sighed.

"Just this once." He hissed, and watched Lee fall into a deep sleep.

"Mr. New Dad."

"Grandfather?" Ford choked out, glancing between the two children. The boy looked like he was going to pass out, and the girl had a grin on her face that threatened to split her face in half.

"Grandpa?!" She practically squealed. "Our grandpa is here? This is better than getting Kerpranked!"

Stan smiled, and the girl rushed up to Ford and threw her sweater clad arms around his middle. Ford was too shocked to stop her, and, to be honest, it did feel nice to have someone hug him. Even if was under these circumstances.

The girl looked up at his face, her brown eyes filled with elation. "Hi Grandpa! I'm Mabel!"

All Ford could do was nod. His mind was searching for any memories of a way he could have become a father. This was even stranger than the nightmare realm...

"The Author of the Journals is my grandpa?!" The boy exclaimed. "Grandpa Stanley?"

Whoo boy. There were so many things that were wrong with those two sentences.

Mabel released Ford, but didn't move more than a step away from him. She looked him up and down, and Ford stared at her fluffy brown hair.

"Whoa." She breathed, and pointed at his right side. "You have six fingers on that hand."

Stan walked up to her, and chuckled, "Yup, my brother is odd and mismatched, from his socks to his hands."

"And you have six fingers on the other one too!" Mabel exclaimed, cutting Stan off, "That makes you super special! No one in school will believe me."

Stan blinked hard, and Ford could only turn his stare to his 'brother'. "What did you say kiddo?" Stan asked, his hands beginning to shake.

"Grandpa has twelve fingers!" Mabel said happily. She turned around, and Stan's expression morphed into one that matched Ford's. Confusion and shock.

"Dipper, don't worry." Mabel said, dashing over to her brother and beginning to drag him towards the two old men. "He doesn't bite."

"You're not Lee." Stan said bluntly, just as Dipper and Mabel reached his side. "Who are you?"

Ford looked from Stan to the children. Their faces were so happy, innocent, and hopeful. But... There was no way he was what they thought he was.

"I'm Stanford Pines." He said slowly, and Stan's eyes widened. "And I'm afraid I'm not your grandfather."

"Dear, I'm taking Stan and Sherman out to do some more research! We'll be back by dinner!"

This was a common occurrence in the Pines residence. Sherman was only a few months old, but he had seen more paranormal creatures than most adults. Needless to say, he was Stanley Pines' kid.

"Are you going to try to summon the Illuminati again?" Stan asked as they shut the door behind themselves. He had Sherman held securely in his arms. The one year old smiled at his uncle, but the older man wasn't paying the kid any attention.

"Stan, that was only once." Lee said with an eye roll. He slung a backpack over his shoulders, "And if I remember correctly, the summoning incantation didn't work."

Stan sighed, and looked down at Sherman. "I'm sorry to say this but... Your father is crazy Shermie." He said, and then he went on in a higher voice, waving the baby's arms up and down, "Yes he is uncle Stan. Completely cray-cray."

Lee rolled his eyes again, a smile playing on his face. "Stop turning my son against me Stan." He said with a laugh. "And remember, it's your turn to have him strapped to your back."

Stan sighed, and looked over at the pile of cloths lying on the rail of the porch. "If you'd just leave him at home with his mother..."

Lee's smile dropped into a frown. "You know how she's been feeling. I can't have her worrying about Shermie's safety while she's like this."

Stan sighed again and handed Sherman to Lee. He pulled the cloths over one shoulder and Lee helped him tuck Sherman safely inside of the sling.

"I know how she's feeling," Stan said, "But are you sure taking Sherman out on monster hunts is the best way you can help her?"

Lee looked off into the woods, and glanced back at the house. He adjusted his glasses and swallowed deeply, "I... I don't really know what I could do to help her. Studying the paranormal is what I'm good at..." He drifted off, and stepped past Stan. "Let's go."

For once Stan didn't argue.

"You're not Lee." Was all that Stan could say. His brother, the awesome researcher, the Author of the Journals, the coolest parent in the world, the... Everything that Lee was, wasn't there. Instead, he was replaced by a grim parody. A man who looked like Lee, but ultimately wasn't.

Stan realized that he had been wanting to see Lee again, not just for himself, but for Dipper and Mabel as well, just so that the two kids who mattered most to Stan could meet the fantastic person that their grandfather was. They had had him for the briefest of minutes, and then Stan's dream was dashed into pieces.

He had worked so hard. He had tried literally everything that he could, and this was what he got.

"You're not Lee." Stan spat again, pulling the kids behind him and marching up to his brother's lookalike. Stan's face became hard, his breathing fast and shallow. He moved his lips, but no sound came out. Then he grabbed the top of not-Lee's arms and yelled, "What did you do to my brother?!"

Stanford pushed Stan away, and crossed his arms defensively. "I didn't do anything to your brother. I don't understand what's going on, or who you people are. But I'll explain my part of the story if you do yours."

Stan couldn't help himself, his fists shook for a moment, and he glanced down at his right hand, silently contemplating something.

Then his fist was a blur heading towards not-Lee's face.

Not-Lee grabbed Stan's wrist a heartbeat before it collided with his glasses, and jerked it swiftly to the right. He twisted it, and turned Stan's body around to face the Dipper and Mabel, who were frozen in shock. Not-Lee pinned Stan to the floor, and hissed, "Do you yield?"

Stan listened to the sound of his own breathing, tears gathering in his eyes. He glanced up at Mabel's terrified eyes, and hoarsely answered, "Yes."

Not-Lee let go of him, and Stan shakily got back to his feet.

"Now, first things first." Not-Lee said, folding his arms and glaring at Stan. "Who are you?"

Stan grit his teeth, he spun back around and met the other man's glare. "I'm Stanford Pines," he said, "These are Dipper, Mabel, and the one in the back is Soos, my repair man."

The other Stanford nodded, "And, as I believe I have said, I am also Stanford Pines. I go by Ford."

Mabel breathed a sigh of relief, "Good thing too, or this would be even more confusing." She seemed to think for a second, lifting a finger under her chin, then she said, "And... What on Earth?"

Ford soaked in every detail of the alternate version of himself, at least the parts Stan told the four of them.

For starters, in this new universe, Stan was born first, making him Stanford, and Ford Stanley. Yay.

Then, Stan had broken the project, but Stan had come to see what his results were, causing their argument to be held outside of the school, rather in their living room. So Stan never got kicked out.

Then, the two of them went to Backupsmore together. More like, Lee went to Backupsmore, and Stan lived near the college. Since Stan was Stan, he forced Lee to socialize a bit more with his fellow students, and that was how Lee met his wife, or Mrs. Nerd, as Stan called her.

When Lee and his wife moved off to Gravity Falls, Stan fell on hard times. He got into a lot of trouble with some Columbian guys, among other crimes he'd committed. When he was desperate he finally called up his brother, and in a flash there were three Pines living in the forest.

Then Sherman came, and Mrs. Pines' health began to deteriorate. Lee and Stan pretended not to notice it, or mention it to anyone, but they all knew. When Sherman was about two Lee's mother-in-law petitioned that her daughter and grandson come to live with her for a while, while Lee, Stan and the recently joining them Fiddleford, all worked on Lee's project.

They accepted her offer, and the two of them left, unknowing it would be the last time they'd see Lee.

Lee and Fiddleford worked on the project, and Stan assisted them whenever he could. But that was basically narrowed down to getting parts for the machine.

Then Lee started acting... Weird.

The guy started acting snappier, and he stopped spending time doing anything besides working on the portal. And Ford knew exactly what had gone wrong.

The three of them had hidden the Journals, then they used Fiddleford's memory ray on themselves, each of them remembering the location of one Journal. Stan the first, Fiddleford the second, and Lee the third.

It was a great plan if they hadn't been so stupid.

They conducted one last test, Stan serving as an anchor for the two scientists. Fiddleford had finally convinced Lee to use a safety rope, but... It turned out to be pointless.

For the rest of his life, Stan would never know how the portal had turned on. Lee had said that it shouldn't, but, like a lot of the time, Lee was wrong.

Thank goodness for Fiddleford's extra cautious attitude.

Stan didn't know what he had done, he sat in the control room, flipping whatever switch Lee told him to. Then the portal opened, and Lee and Fiddleford took to the air.

A horrible scream came from the latter as Fiddleford's head entered the swirls vortex. The rope that was the only thing keeping the two of them in their world was pulled taught, and Stan's horrified eyes saw that it was going to snap...

Dashing out of the control room he grabbed onto both sides of the rope, just as Lee's own head ducked through the vortex as well. Stan tugged harder on his brother's side, and Lee completely reentered the world.

Stan grit his teeth, his arms felt like they were burning. Lee's eyes were wide with fear, and he shouted something.

"Stan! Let go of my side!"

Stan's eyes were filled with tears, every muscle was screaming in pain. He stared up at his brother, who had a hand around his rope and was tugging at the knot.

"What? Are you crazy?!" Stan yelled. He was jerked slightly forward, his feet making skid marks on the ground.

"Stan you're not strong enough!" Lee yelled out. "Let go of me, save Fiddleford, and press the button!"

Stan's breathing hissed behind his teeth. His palms were getting sweaty, and he knew that Lee was right... And that was the worst part.

Taking one last look at his desperate brother, Stan jerked his rope back as hard as he could, pulling Lee a few feet closer to the safety of the button. Stan grabbed onto Fiddleford's line, and pulled him entirely out of the portal, past Lee, and into the normal gravity zone.

Lee was being pulled back into the portal, newfound fear in his eyes. Stan dashed past a stunned Fiddleford and reached the shutdown switch. He was so close...

A horrible scream exited Lee, and just before Stan's hand slammed onto the red button he was pulled completely through.

A loud buzz told Stan that the portal was completely deactivated. He heard a small clink and saw Lee's glasses fall to the ground.

What had just happened?

Fiddleford, like a possessed person, let out a sentence that sounded like complete nonsense. Stan looked over at his friend, and watched him sit up.

"Fiddleford..." He choked out, but before he could say anything else the other man cut him off.

"When gravity falls, and Earth become sky, fear the beast with just one eye."

Stan stared at Fiddleford, who shakily backed away from him, his eyes slightly misted over. "This machine is dangerous, destroy it before it destroys us all!"

Stan breathed heavily, Lee's scream playing over and over again in his mind. "I can't do that." He choked out. "I have to..."

Fiddleford stood up, his entire body shaking, "I quit!" He shouted. "If you want to destroy the world I won't help you!"

Stan had the horrible realization that Fiddleford didn't know that Lee wasn't there. He only watched as his only other friend stormed out of the basement.

What was he going to do?

"What about Grandma?" Dipper asked, glancing at Ford, who's face was unreadable.

Stan choked, and rubbed his hands together. "She was rightly upset." He said quietly, "I didn't tell her the details, but she didn't come back after that." He looked over at Ford as well, and but his lip for a moment. "She started hating the supernatural, to the point she moved Sherman and her to Piedmont, and estranged herself from me."

Dipper and Mabel nodded, while Soos and Ford continued to watch Stan silently. "I didn't know what to do. Lee was the one who got the money for the mortgage," Stan said, and glanced at the ground sadly, "Then the people practically begged me to give them tours, and I started the Mystery Shack, and fell back into my old habits."

"So all this time you have just been trying to get your brother back," Dipper said, bowing his head in shame. "Grunkle Stan, I'm so sorry I didn't believe you."

Stan flashed Dipper a small smile, "It's okay kid, I probably wouldn't have believed me either."

Mabel was blinking away tears, "That story was so sad Grunkle Stan!" She said, rushing up to him and squeezing him tightly around his waist. "I'll make you a bunch of Mabel-juice as soon as we get rid of..." She suddenly gasped and exclaimed, "The government guys!"

Stan's eyes widened, and Soos exclaimed, "I had been so spellbound by your dramatic tale I forgot aall about those guys."

Ford spoke for the first time since Stan had started his story. "Government? What..."

"What should we do?" Mabel asked,. glancing between Dipper and the Stans. Stan pinched the bridge of his nose, and mumbled, "Well, it's not like we could just make them forget about all this..."

"Forget!" Dipper shouted, "I think I know what to do!" He dashed over to his backpack and pulled out the memory gun. He presented it to Ford, who smiled slightly, "This will do perfectly." He said, taking it from the boy, who looked up at him with eyes filled with wonder.

So this was Ford's life now.

And... I'm up. As you can probably tell by now, this is another continuation of another chapter, I'll give you a minute to guess which one...

Did you get it? Yay!

I tried to make Lee more of the Author that the fans (or at least, what I can tell from retrospect) thought Ford would be. And I on purpose left Mrs. Pines vague.

Anyway, I hope you guys have been good. Thanks for liking this fic! (BTW, Smoke Bomb is one of the nicest compliments I've ever gotten) (And TFD, I'm sorry if I traumatized you *winced*)

Thanks again!

-BrilliantLight