Disclaimer: I don't own Y&R
Hi everyone!
So this is just a continuation from where the show left us.
You know I just realised that the scene where Amate is having their second date and Billy convinces Amanda to join Chancellor is the same day that Billy, Lily and Amanda have their meeting *face palm*
Thanks to my twitter pal and writing advisor Enchantedfan4life for helping with this. Go read her stories. They are awesome!
Amanda and Billy watched as Lily collected her things and made a dash for the door. Apparently she had to solve a problem Charlie had got himself in and had to go.
They both sat there in silence before Amanda said, "So, um, is there anything else?"
"No. No. I think we covered everything." said Billy
"Ok then. I guess I should be on my way." said Amanda leaning down to get her handbag and then she stood up.
Billy also got up from his chair, watching her discreetly admiring her beauty. It had been long since he had seen her. The day she had her 'date' with Nate to be specific. She had looked amazingly gorgeous and for a moment, he had thought of interrupting them but had decided against it. What would have been the point? She would only get angry with him and it was clear she had made her choice.
That hurt but he had hope. He knew she was attracted to him at the very least. She had kissed him back that wonderful morning after the storm. She had stared back at him throughout their interactions this afternoon and was that jealous he had detected when she asked about Victoria?
That had to count for something, right?
They weaved through the tables to the doorway and onto the pavement which was bustling with people going back and forth. They both stood there briefly and almost awkwardly as they both wondered what to do next.
"So um, I got to go." said Amanda motioning the direction to Grand Phoenix. She really didn't want to leave. This was the first time in weeks that she had been in Billy's presence and even though she had just been on a date with Nate, she couldn't help the pull she had to Billy.
"Yeah." said Billy not really wanting to part with her yet. "Where are you off to?"
"My hotel room I guess. Like I said, my calendar is clear for the day."
"Well, I don't have anything to do too. How about we go somewhere and talk? Catch up." Said Billy hopefully. "We won't be long. Just like old times."
Amanda thought on it for just a moment and decided why not? It was certainly better than hanging out in her suite alone. "Sure."
Billy smiled and led her to his car opening the door for her like the gentleman he was earning a smile for his effort. "I know one place where we can talk without any disturbance."
"Really? Where?" she asked curiously.
"You'll see." said Billy starting the car.
"It's not another rooftop right?" said Amanda with a raised eyebrow
"I thought you liked the rooftop." said Billy with a mischievous smile exposing his dimple.
Amanda chuckled. "I admit, I did have fun but I wouldn't want to do it again."
"Well don't worry. It's not a rooftop." said Billy with a cheeky smile. "Maybe a mountain top."
"Billy…"
Billy just laughed before he took a turn to one of the back roads. "You know, I've missed talking to you like this."
Amanda was stunned at his words then said, "I missed it too." She really did miss his company. She had meant it when she had suggested grabbing a coffee with him but sadly she hadn't had the chance and before she knew it, weeks had passed.
Billy smiled at that. "So what have you been up to?" asked Billy curiously sneaking a glance at her while driving a lot slower than he would when he was alone. He just wanted to spend more time with her and this was one way to do it.
"Um, nothing much. I was helping Devon with this foster kid named Jared. His grandfather just died suddenly and it's been rough for him."
"I'm sorry to hear that."
"Yeah me too but he is slowly accepting that we are there for him so that's a plus. I mean both Devon and I have been where he is and I think it gives him hope that he can make something of himself."
"Yeah. I couldn't think of a better role model for him. I have said it before but you just amaze me. I mean look at how much you have accomplished in spite of all you've been through."
Amanda looked down shyly. "Thanks." She said before she cleared her throat to hide how his words affected her. "So what about you? Anything interesting?"
"No. Like I said, work has been taking much of my time and since I no longer have my bar companion, I haven't had much of a social life."
"Billy…" said Amanda feeling guilty for not spending time with him.
"It's fine. I know you are with Nate now." said Billy the words giving him a sour taste in his mouth. He then came to a stop just at the outskirts of the city. There was no one in sight.
"We are not together." blurted out Amanda not sure why she felt the need to do that.
Billy looked at her with a raised brow. The date he had seen suggested otherwise.
"Not officially. We are taking things slow."
Billy nodded looking at her for a moment before he got out of the car, going around to open the door for her. "Where are we?"
"At my special spot. It's just down there but the car can't get in. I used to come here with my bike." said Billy
"Are you sure it's safe to leave the car there?"
"Yeah. No one really comes to this part of town." said Billy leading her down a small path only he can determine into the thick bushes.
Amanda looked nervously but Billy's hand on her arm calmed her. Just a short walk, they came to a small clearing with a huge tree, a flat boulder, grass, surrounded by thick bushes and trees giving absolute privacy.
"Welcome to my little spot of heaven." said Billy with a smile.
"Wow… How did you come across this?" asked Amanda curiously. It seemed so out of the way.
"I stumbled upon it by chance when I was about 12. I was biking on my way from my friend's house. He lived at that building over there." He said pointing to a run-down building that seemed to be abandoned. "It became my spot since then. I don't know if other people know about it bit I like to think I'm the only one." said Billy with a smile.
"Let me show you something." said Billy taking her hand on impulse. Realising what he had done, he wondered if she was going to pull away. She didn't. He smiled.
Amanda felt her hand tingle at his hold but she didn't pull away. She liked his hand on hers. She followed him to the large tree. There on the tree bark was carved a heart with Billy's name inside it. Amanda traced the letters with her fingers.
"I wrote that when I first came here." said Billy. "I might have to add your name too since you are here too."
"No one else has been here with you?" asked Amanda in surprise as she looked up at his face.
"No. You are the first person I've brought here." said Billy staring into her eyes, the significance of his words hanging between them.
No one. Not his friends. Not his family. Not his kids. Not even Victoria who he had been with for years and was the mother of his kids had been here at what he called his special spot.
"Why?" Amanda asked softly, unable to look away from his gaze, her heart beating so fast she was sure he could hear it. She couldn't be that important to him could she?
"I think you know why." said Billy softly his hand raising to gently cup her cheek. His thumb slowly caressed the smooth skin before he slowly leaned in, giving her a chance to refuse or move away. She didn't and his lips met with hers. They were just as soft as he remembered. His other arm went around her waist, pulling her tight against him as he increased the intensity of the kiss.
Amanda could only surrender to his kisses, her arms caressing the back of his neck and shoulders as she moaned her tongue tangling with his. God it felt amazing. She didn't realise how much she had wanted this to happen again until she was kissing him.
They stood there under the tree, kissing and gently caressing where their hands could reach before the kiss slowed and ended.
Billy looked down at her beautiful face and watched as she slowly opened her eyes which were darker than normal.
They stared at each other as they tried to get their breathing and heartbeats back to normal then Billy said, "We need to talk."
"I know." agreed Amanda. There was no way they were avoiding this.
Billy looked at her for a moment and as he made to say something, his phone suddenly rang. Billy took it out of his pocket and they both looked at it. It was Lily.
He cleared his throat and answered, listening before he said, "Ok, I will go meet with him….No that's fine…Ok then." before hanging up and looking at Amanda regretfully. "I have to go. Apparently there is an emergency at work that needs me."
"No that's fine." said Amanda partly disappointed with the interruption and partly relieved. She needed time to get her head straight and think clearly.
"We still have to talk about this right?"
"Yes. We do." agreed Amanda.
"I'll come to your suite when I'm done if that's ok with you."
"It's fine."
"Good." said Billy. Maybe today, they could finally have an honest open conversation. He dropped her at the Grand Phoenix before he went back to work.
XXX
Amanda got to her hotel room and without doing anything, she threw herself on the bed, facing the ceiling, her brain still reeling from the kiss she had shared with Billy. God she had never felt the way she felt when she was with Billy with anyone. Not even Ripley. Not even Nate.
It was like each time she was in his presence, nothing and no one else mattered. It was just the 2 of them. No matter how she tried to keep her distance, it just didn't work. Something just happened to pull them back together be it a bar fight or a job offer.
She knew what she wanted. What her heart wanted. What her body wanted. She wanted him. Only her brain was telling her it wasn't a good idea. That Billy was the very person she should run from.
His track record was not good. There was drama and chaos in his life. Already rumours had circulated that she had cheated with Billy and was the catalyst of Billy and Victoria's breakup.
Nate seemed like the safe person to get back into dating with. He was stable, with a good career, handsome and their friends endorsed them.
Then why was she always pulled to Billy? Why did the sight of him make her heart beat so fast? Why did the way he looked at her make her catch her breath? Why did she feel tingles when he touched her? Why did she have so much chemistry with him?
She remembered how she and Billy had talked about how they were so different and yet they seemed to connect.
What shpuld she do? What will she say to him when he came to her suite?
Realising she was not going anywhere with her thoughts, she decided to go to the gym and work out some of her frustrations. She changed into her Nike work out gear consisting of black leggings with purple and pink splotch print, a purple sports bra and purple sneakers then she covered up with a black nike jacket. She tied her hair in a ponytail and left her hotel room.
The 2 hour work out turned out to be a very good idea. It gave her time to relax, refocus and clear her mind. She got back to her room and after freshening up and changing into comfy lounge clothes, a grey sweatpants and a pink tank top with her hair let down. She sat on the couch sipping a glass of wine and surfing channels before settling on an old movie.
As she was settling herself, there was a knock on the door. Her heart skipped a beat at the thought of Billy behind that door. She smoothed her clothes and padded to the door.
She was filled with disappointment then guilt when it was Nate she found herself facing, a bunch of flowers and a bottle of wine in his hands. "Nate. Um, I didn't know you were coming."
"There wasn't much at the hospital and I thought I could pop by if that is ok?" said Nate a smile on his face a]
"Of course. It's fine." said Amanda opening the door wider and he walked in. He handed her the items the smile still on his face and Amanda felt even more guilt at what she had done with Billy.
"Thank you. They are nice and this is my favorite wine."
"I noted." Said Nate. It was the one she had ordered on their 2 dates and he assumed it was her favorite.
Amanda smiled hugging him back when he pulled her in his arms. He looked down at her face and it was clear what he was going to do. She realized she didn't want to, didn't feel the urge or the pull to kiss him and in that moment she knew. She couldn't be with him. She turned away and sighed. "Nate, we need to talk."
"About what?" asked Nate a puzzled look on his face.
"Us." Said Amanda. "This isn't working."
"What do you mean?" asked Nate confused.
"I just… I like you, a lot but as a friend."
"Why? I mean we have only been on 2 dates. That's hardly enough time to see if we click or not and we have been getting to know each other way longer than that."
"I know that Nate but let's be honest, there is no pull between us. I just don't feel it and…"
At that moment, there was a knock on the door. Amanda froze knowing exactly who was behind that door. Could he have better timing?
She walked to the door and opened it. Sure enough it was Billy. "Billy." She said with a smile.
Billy frowned at her tone and look of nervousness on her face then looked past her and saw Nate standing in the middle of the room before also seeing the flowers. He turned his eyes back to her questioningly, hurt clear in his eyes. Was she doing this again? Go running to Nate after they kissed?
Amanda took a breath, turned to Nate and said, "Give me a second." Before she closed the door and faced Billy. "I didn't invite him. He just showed up when I was waiting for you." She explained. "It's good that he did actually. I need to make things right with him before anything can happen between us."
Billy nodded feeling his heart lighten at her words. Things were going to happen between them and it filled him with joy. "I understand."
"Thank you. I'll come to your suite as soon as I'm done."
"Ok." said Billy and unable to resist, he leaned down and perked her full soft lips, then he smiled at her before he walked away
Amanda watched as Billy walked away smiling when he turned to look at her wondering how her life was suddenly filled with boy drama like this. She walked back into her suite not looking forward to the talk that was going to follow.
"What is going on? Is this why you don't want to be with me? Billy?"
Amanda saw no need to lie. Transparency was going to be the best approach here. "Yes." she said.
Nate scoffed. "You cannot be serious. Billy? The man who put you in the crosshairs with the Newmans and thought it was a good idea to drive a race car on icy roads?" he said incredulous. "When did that even happen anyway?"
"Nate…" Amanda started to say before Nate interrupted.
"How long has this been going on? I thought you were just friends? At least that's what you told me."
"Yes. We were friends. We are friends."
"And yet you are choosing him over me." Pointed out Nate. "Why? Were those rumours true? Did you have an affair?"
"No! How could you even ask that? Nothing happened between me and Billy when he was with Victoria."
"But something did happen after?"
Amanda nodded and sat down on the couch. She then told him everything up until the morning after the storm when they kissed. Nate's eyes went wide when he heard about that and Amanda felt so bad. "We then agreed to be friends and nothing more. That's why I asked you out. I thought that was it. We didn't even see each other for almost a month till today." finished Amanda.
"And so what? You saw him and suddenly you realised you wanted to be with him?"
"No. Not at all." Said Amanda internally wincing at what she was about to tell him. "We um, we decided to talk after our meeting and we kissed."
There was silence.
"What?" said Nate feeling like he was going through the ringer.
"Nate, you have to understand…"
"What I understand here is that you kissed Billy not hours after our second date. You kissed him after telling me that you wanted more dates with me."
"And I meant it when I said it."
"But you also knew about your feelings for him!"
"I thought they went away." said Amanda desperately wishing he would understand. "I honestly thought they were gone and I genuinely wanted to try this with you."
"By using me?"
"I wasn't using you!"
"You were. You asked me out Amanda. You came to the clinic and asked me out, giving me hope that you were interested in me and that we could actually build something together."
"I told you I wasn't ready for anything serious!"
"Because you knew how you felt for him already!" shouted Nate. "I never stood a chance and you knew that. You played me."
"Nate, I swear I didn't. I like you, a lot and I wanted us to work."
"I don't believe you. You told me you asked me only because Phyllis would stop nagging you about it. Be honest. You wouldn't have if she hadn't pestered."
"You said Elena was urging you to ask me." Amanda said pointedly.
"Yes she was. At least I was genuine and I actually felt something for you. Can't say the same for you!"
"We went on 2 dates Nate! 2 and I don't even know if today was even one given Lily interrupted us!" She took a deep breath. "I am sorry Nate. Things with Billy happened during a confusing time of my life. It's not an excuse. I could have handled things in a better way but I didn't and I'm sorry."
Nate sighed. "I get it. You did say we should take things slow. It's just that I had built expectations about us. I really like you Amanda. I mean what's not to like?"
"I like you too Nate. I remember telling you that any woman would be lucky to have you. I meant that. I just realized that woman is not me."
Nate nodded sadly. He could hardly blame her for falling in love. He couldn't contest with that. "I guess I should be on my way."
"Nate? I hope we can still be friends after this." said Amanda thinking at the irony of having said the same thing to Billy.
"Of course. I just a little time but you will always have a friend in me."
"Thank you." said Amanda and totally out of the blue, she hugged him smiling when he hugged her back. He really was a nice guy and if she hadn't met Billy, things might have been different for them.
XXX
Amanda knocked on Billy's door. She was glad she had talked to Nate but now she just wanted to be with Billy and the reassurance that things were going to be ok. Billy opened the door dressed in black slim sweatpants and a grey t-shirt and sandals.
As soon as she saw him, she went walked up and hugged him, her arms around his waist. Billy's heartbeat, scent and warmth soothed and calmed her
Billy wrapped his arms around her frame and slowly walked them until he could close the door. One hand ran in her hair while the other was around her waist and waited till she looked up, her eyes clear and beautiful. "Hi."
"Hi."
"Are you ok?"
"Just hold me."
Billy pulled her closer to him enveloping her in his arms and they stood there by the door in each other's arms… It was a while when Amanda finally moved slightly out of his arms reluctantly.
"Ready to tell me what happened?" asked Billy gently.
Amanda nodded. "I ended it with him." she walked and sat on the bed with Billy joining her there. "I told him everything that happened between us."
"How did he take it?"
"Better than I thought. I mean we were not serious and today was the 2nd date. He was hurt though but we are still friends. Elena might not be happy with me."
"Elena?" asked Billy puzzled.
"She is the one who pushed him to try it out with him. She is very protective of him and Devon."
Billy nodded. "Do you regret it?"
"No unless you regret kissing me." said Amanda searching into his eyes.
"Never." said Billy sincerely.
"I want to be with you Billy. I have known that for some time but Things happened so fast between us. We were supposed to be just friends, Harry and Sally" they share a chuckle remembering their earlier conversation. "Next thing I know, I am developing these feelings for you. I got scared."
"I felt the same way." Said Billy. "I went to that bar looking for some clarity and I found you. I found myself drawn to you, looking forward to seeing you and before I knew it, I was falling for you. You don't know the internal struggle I had with myself regarding you."
"Me too. The timing couldn't have been more wrong with Ripley and Victoria, it was just a mess. I wasn't sure what I was feeling meant and better yet, what you were feeling. I know you told me and kissed me but I thought it was too soon. You were just going through a breakup. How could I trust you wouldn't change your mind and go back to Victoria? And I couldn't trust myself with my feelings that's why I suggested we be friends."
"I understand. It hurt at the time to see you with him, especially seeing you on your date." Amanda looked surprised at that piece of information. "Yeah I saw you. You looked gorgeous by the way."
"Thanks."
"I thought maybe you just weren't interested. But Amanda, I assure you whether or not you and I were going to be together, I wasn't and am not going back to Victoria. That ship has sailed. I'm all about moving forward now and I would like to do that with you."
"I would like that too." said Amanda. "I love you." It was true. It might be too early but she loved him. Everything she had been feeling for him all led to love. She had thought it was a mere attraction but it was more, a lot more.
"I love you too." Said Billy with a warm happy smile. She loved him! With everything he had done, she loved him! It was humbling and elating.
He leaned down and kisses her. Amanda leaned into him, responding to his kiss, feeling sensations course through her body. Never had her body reacted the way it does when she was with Billy.
Just his kiss combined with the presence of his strong body against hers and his hands running up and down her back and waist, she could feel her nipple tighten and her pussy get wet. She moaned softly as his lips left hers, connecting with her sensitive neck.
Billy was so turned on with her reaction to him. He felt her buck and moan when he sucked on her pulse point. His hand went to her shoulders before opening her sweater off her shoulders revealing a pink tank top that looked good against her skin tone.
Amanda shrugged it off her hands going back to trailing on his shoulders and back as she kissed him with fervour. She felt so good. She felt Billy move them slightly before he lay her back on the bed hovering over her. She wrapped her legs around his waist, relishing his weight on top of her.
It was now a full blown make out, neither wanting to stop. They touched wherever their hands could reached, kissed each exposed surface stroking the fires of passion. Soon, they were topless with Amanda in her black lace bra.
"Amanda…" groaned Billy knowing he should stop but not wanting to. "God you are so beautiful." He said staring at her. She was perfection and he couldn't believe he was actually touching her in this way.
"You are too." Said Amanda her hands trailing her abs. He had the body of a swimmer or male runway model. Tall, slim, lean with just the right amount of muscles. Gorgeous.
He leaned down and captured her lips in his again and they began kissing again, passion rising between them to dangerous levels. "We have to stop before I can't."
"Don't stop." breathed out Amanda already so turned on she didn't think she could stop at this point. She wanted him, all of him. They both sought to remove their clothes, ending up naked with her on top of him straddling his thighs.
They took a moment to just stare at each other, taking each other in. in some circumstances, Amanda would have felt shy being so exposed in front of a new partner but the way Billy was looking at her, with so much love, heat and desire in his now almost black eyes, she felt nothing but beautiful, attractive and confident.
She leaned down and connected their lips. Gradually as their passion rose, so did their touching and kisses, growing more frenzied as they took turns being on top. Moans filled the room as they traded touches and caresses and when they couldn't handle anymore, Billy entered her looking down at her gorgeous face, feeling how tight she was around him.
He moved within her, leaning to kiss her lips, her closed eyes, her cheeks, her neck, hearing her little gasps and sighs and the moment she came, she tightened around him, arching her back, freezing just for a moment before she cried out, trembling. He had honestly never seen something as sexy. Just that sight was enough for him to spill inside her joining her in bliss.
They lay there as he held her close to him.
Amanda raised her face to look at him feeling sated and tired.
"Are you ok?" asked Billy caressing her cheek gently.
"Yeah."
"No regrets?"
"Never." She said echoing his word when she had asked if he regretted kissing her.
She wanted to be with him. After everything with Ripley, she deserved to be happy, to live her life on her terms with no fear. Billy made her happy and she was going to start this new chapter.
The end
I hope this turned out ok. I am not satisfied especially with the conversation with Nate but I hope you enjoyed it all the same.