CHAPTER EIGHTEEN
Watershed
For the second day in a row, I sat in my car in a slowly filling parking lot feeling waves of anxiety wash over me. The reason, however, was far different than the previous day. Rather than fearing seeing Jasper, I was rather looking forward to it. I went home after our talk with such a wide grin on my face that Will even asked if I'd taken some drugs or something. It was only until this morning that I realized what had even happened: I now had a boyfriend. I'd been in relationships before but nothing had felt like this. I had never had a conversation with a guy like I did with Jasper yesterday. How could I possibly follow that up?
The fact of the matter was that Jasper is immortal. He's lived since the mid-nineteenth century so surely has been with women before. In all of that time, there had to have been someone prettier, funnier, smarter than myself. How could I compete with a century's worth of women?
A gentle knock on my car window halted my spiraling temporarily. Despite my best efforts, a goofy smile pulled at my lips when I saw it was Jasper standing just outside my car, waiting for me.
"Good morning," I greeted as I stepped out of the car, giving him a look as he tried to take my bag. "I've been carrying this thing for years now, I can keep doing it."
"You're not going to let me take care of you, are you?" Jasper asked in return, leaning against my car.
"Nope," I returned, popping the 'p' obnoxiously, "But you're cute for trying."
"Do you know what you do to me?"
"I dazzle you with my Alabama charm and amazing personality."
It was Jasper's turn to smile. I decided then that it would be my mission to make him smile as much as humanly possible. His smile is nothing less than contagious, brightening up whatever crowd is around him. "That's true."
"C'mon, Texas. You're already tanking my calc grade, I don't need my English grade to suffer too," I told him teasingly, noticing how empty the lot was already. There was no way the teacher would accept me being late, not after how many times he's had to tell Hannah and me to shut up.
"As you wish, ma'am." His accent came through thick in that one sentence, making me wonder if he'd done it on purpose. "We could always skip today."
"Jasper Hale, you dare break the rules?" I gasped overdramatically. "As much as I'd love to, I think that'd be the last straw for Gleeson. I gotta get on his good side before this exam." Even the mention of the test was enough for my stomach to lurch; my body protesting at the thought of taking the exam.
"You're still stressed for this exam," Jasper said it like a statement rather a question. It must have read clear on my face, then, for him to know.
"Unbelievably. I'm so behind, there's no way I'm going to learn everything by Friday."
"I could help you. You could come back to my home with me after class if you'd like."
More time with him and help from someone who's probably taken this class dozens of times at this point? It seemed almost like a dream come true. "Um, yes, please. I have to babysit my niece after school though. She's old enough to not get into any trouble, but I have to be there. You could come over though."
Jasper didn't answer for a second longer than what was normal. I began to wonder if he was nervous after the last time he'd come to the house. It got to the point where I considered making an excuse as to why I couldn't when he finally said, "I would love to."
So that was it. Jasper and I would be studying together after I got through the day. "Great. I even promise not to bombard you with a kiss this time."
"And that's appreciated." The warning bell sounded inside the building before we even began walking. It was only then that Jasper straightened off my car and walked next to me up toward the school. I reached out to softly take his hand in mine.
"Is this okay?" I asked, tilting my head up so I could watch his expression.
Jasper looked surprised for a moment, then settled into a smile. He squeezed my hand before answering, "It's perfect."
I was thankful that we were running incredibly late that morning. There was hardly anyone in the hallways by the time we got inside, so no one could stare at us wildly. I wondered how long it would take for this news to get around the school. Hopefully, people will be so concerned with Bella and Edward that they won't be paying attention to us. After all, those two seemed way more serious already. Jasper walked with me to my classroom, standing by the door for a moment.
"Aren't you going to be late for class?" I asked, knowing the bell would be sounding any second now.
"It's worth it, getting to be with you longer."
"You're such a sap," I giggled, shaking my head at him. Still, despite the teasing, my cheeks were heating up furiously. "We've been together for like, a day. You're acting like you've known me your whole life or something."
"I'll see you in chemistry, Valerie."
"See you in chem, Texas."
When I walked into the room, Hannah had her mouth wide open gaping at the doorway where Jasper and I had been. "You dirty hamster, how dare you not tell me you two are together!"
"Dirty hamster?" I repeated, eyebrows raised at her choice of wording.
"It's seven in the morning, leave me alone. Now don't change the subject," Hannah answered sternly, "Yesterday you were crying over him rejecting you. What the hell happened?"
"We talked about everything yesterday."
"That's it? That's all you have for me?"
"I mean, we just talked about the kiss and then turns out he feels the same for me. So we're giving it a shot." The bell had rung as soon as I'd walked into the room, but that hadn't stopped us before. It seemed the teacher knew this too because while he glared in our direction, he didn't actually stop us.
"Well, damn girl, I'm happy for you. I hope you two will stop arguing so much now."
"Yeah, I hope so too."
"Just keep in mind that she might be annoying. And don't believe a single word that comes out of her mouth, she's a little demon."
Jasper and I sat in my car in the driveway of my brother's house. It still felt strange to have him by the house that I live in, considering the majority of our interactions are at school. We'd only been together for a day and that felt way too early to be meeting any family member, though I supposed I knew some of his siblings already.
"I think I can handle your niece."
"You say that now. She was out of town last time you were here," I warned, only partially teasing. That was when we got out of the car, heading up to the house. As soon as I opened the door, Laurie descended on me.
"Aunt Val!" Laurie screamed, running forward and wrapping her arms around me tightly. "The babysitter was trying to make me do homework, can you believe her?"
"No, I can't believe that at all, Laurie. Mean ol' babysitter, caring about your education," I returned sarcastically, not that the little girl would pick up on that. "Why don't you go say goodbye to Susan while I get settled in, okay?" Once the girl ran off, I gave a look for Jasper to come in. It was clear on his face that he was amused by the previous interaction, but what he didn't realize was that Laurie's adorable chaos energy never goes away.
"We can sit at the dining table if that's okay? I can have Laurie play in the living room," I explained, and when he nodded I sat down my bag at the table. It was a relatively open floor plan, so I could keep an eye on Laurie while still having some separation between us.
"Is that the boy you keep talking about?!" Laurie squealed to announce her presence. It was one thing to mention snooping on my phone calls at Christmas but in front of the guy that Hannah and I were talking about? Absolutely not.
"I don't know what you're talking about," I answered, ignoring the raised brow look from Jasper. His lips were pulled into an annoying smirk as my cheeks grew hot and red. "Don't you have some toys to play with?"
"Are you two boyfriend-girlfriend yet?"
"You're seven, what do you know about boyfriends and girlfriends?"
"It's to see if you love someone. Do you two love each other yet?"
"Okay! Laurie, I love you very much, but if you don't stop talking right now I'm gonna make you do so much homework." Jasper let out a laugh then, one of his full, relaxed laughs that made me smile despite the burning embarrassment.
"You haven't even let me meet your boyfriend. You're mean," Laurie pouted then, crossing her arms over her chest.
Jasper, dear sweet Jasper, took over for me. "Jasper Hale at your service, Miss," he spoke in as thick an accent as I've heard from him, a playful smile pulling just slightly on his lips.
"I'm Laura-Rose but everyone calls me Laurie," she answered, waving excitedly. "You're as pretty as Val says on the phone."
"Laurie, remind me to teach you the sister code," I groaned, at this point letting my forehead hit my arms on the table.
"You're not my sister, you're Aunt Val, silly."
"At this point, you act more like an annoying adorable little sister than anything else, so you officially get to follow the girl code," I explained, desperately finding any excuse I can to get her to stop talking. Jasper may have found it amusing, but this easily rivaled the embarrassment of trying to kiss him the last time he was here. Maybe Jasper just shouldn't ever be at the house. "Are you ready to go play now?"
"Yep! Cowboy Gideon missed me!" Laurie giggled before running around the couch and sitting on the carpet to play with her toys. She didn't even look over at us again since I was no longer entertaining her with my clear embarrassment.
"Cowboy Gideon?" Jasper asked, clearly starting with the easiest explanation for something Laurie said.
"A toy dinosaur I got her. She's in her Wild West phase." Only once I was sure she was away from the table that I lifted my head, still pointedly not looking right at Jasper. "I'm sorry about her. I think it's her life mission to embarrass me."
"She reminds me of my sister, in Texas." I had so many questions. It wasn't often that Jasper brought up his past and every time he did I wanted to know more. Still, I promised him that I wouldn't pry. The expression on his face alone reminded me that it was best to wait until he told me himself. Clearly, his sister from a hundred years ago was a painful subject, one I wouldn't intentionally dwell upon.
"Well, Rebecca should be home soon. Then we can go up to my room to avoid any further embarrassment."
"I don't know, I liked her stories. You talk about me?"
"No, she was exaggerating. Can we do calculus now?"
We worked well together. Jasper was patient as he explained the more difficult concepts to me and even helped me work through problems. It was clear that he knew this topic like the back of his hand, probably because he'd been studying it for so many years before Forks High. By the time Rebecca got home, we'd gotten through more content than I could have gotten through in three days.
"Oh, Valerie, you have a guest," Rebecca spoke up after she greeted Laurie. She also was giving me such an obvious 'Mom' look that made me want to slam my head on the table and knock myself out. What was with this family being so embarrassing but in such an adorable way that I couldn't even be mad about it?
"Uh, yeah, you know Jasper Hale," I introduced, knowing that he had been in her class the year before.
"Absolutely. It's good to see you again, Jasper. How's your mother doing?" Rebecca asked, always the politest woman I'd ever met. She tells me constantly how Esme is the kindest person in the world and how she hoped I ended up with Jasper so she could talk to the other woman more.
"She's good. I'll let her know you said hi," he answered, already playing the role of a perfect boyfriend. It was almost irritating how well he was getting along with my family members.
"Well, Jasper and I will be in my room studying calculus," I spoke up quickly before Rebecca could ask him anything else.
"Alright, you go study calculus." Jasper was packing up our books, but I certainly didn't miss the wink Rebecca gave me. This family would be the death of me, I swear. I couldn't imagine how they would act if Jasper and I actually became a serious thing.
I felt nothing but relief when we got to the privacy of my bedroom. If it was strange having Jasper in the living room, then it was downright bizarre having him in the bedroom. Still, having him there would be a million times better than braving being around my family, not knowing what else they would tell him about me.
"Well, you've officially met two-thirds of my family and I am so sorry," I told him as I shut the door. I sat down on the carpeted floor, splaying out the papers and books we had been working with downstairs. Jasper watched me before sitting on the ground beside me.
"They're all friendly."
"Yeah, too friendly. When I said don't pay attention to anything they say, I meant please take that to heart."
"You're lucky to have a family so invested in your happiness." Something in the tone of Jasper's voice made me think this was coming from a place of knowledge on the subject.
"Was your family...not like that?" I asked, trying to word it in the best way possible. I'd had my own experience with a hateful father and it physically pained me to think of Jasper having to deal with the same.
"I don't remember much of my time back then, it's been so long," Jasper explained, "but things were different then. I was the only son, I had certain responsibilities I was expected to uphold. Instead, I ran away to join the war."
"At least you have Dr. Cullen and Esme now," I tried, reaching forward to rest my hand on his. "And all the siblings you could possibly want."
"I did use to wish for brothers."
"And now you have Emmett," I laughed, getting a smile out of Jasper then. He returned to looking through the pile of worksheets for the one we were working on before. I knew I should help, but my thoughts couldn't help but wander far from my room.
Jasper had lived so long that he couldn't really remember his family. As far as I knew, I wasn't someone who would live forever. Even if we were meant to be together which was its own issue, would he eventually forget about me too? Was this completely useless, a doomed adventure?
"What's wrong, Darlin'?" Jasper always seemed to know when my mood dropped. It was like I was a book splayed open for him to read plainly. I wasn't sure how I felt about it. The fact that Jasper always seemed to know how I was feeling made me feel vulnerable all the time. It was certainly a completely new feeling.
"I'm sure you've dated other girls before and I know this probably isn't new to you, but what happened in the future?" I asked, voice moving quickly to get everything out as soon as possible. As if speaking the words aloud would erase them from my brain. "What happens when I get old and you stay like this, in high school? I mean, will you forget about me too?"
It seemed silly to worry about, especially after vocalizing it. We'd only been together for a day, why would I worry about it? Still, something in me didn't want to bother with a doomed relationship.
"Valerie, I could never forget about you," Jasper told me, flicking his golden eyes up from the paper in his hand to look right at me. "Don't worry about the future right now. One day at a time, remember?"
One day at a time. I'd been the one to suggest it, and I was also the one who forgot it within twenty-four hours of voicing it. "Yeah, you're right. I'm just being silly."
"You're not being silly, this is new territory for both of us."
"You haven't been with other girls before?" I don't know why that information made me so upset. Was Jasper alone for that long? I knew he had his family, sure, but somehow it felt different.
"I was waiting for someone like you to come along."
Jasper was good at stealing my breath away. It still hadn't come back fully when I returned with, "Oh, well no pressure for this to work out or anything."
"There's no pressure because right now it's working and that's what matters." Again with him saying the smart thing. Did Jasper do anything wrong? Why couldn't he act like this when we first met?
"Right." If there were ever a time I wanted to kiss him, it would be then. We were sitting so close to one another, fingertips brushing and eyes staring into each others'. It would take just leaning forward a minute amount. I knew better than to try that again, though, not until he was ready. "So, back to integrals."
We worked through the afternoon. Jasper's patience and attention to detail never wavered once even when I knew I was being a complete idiot sometimes. I wasn't used to not understanding a subject immediately, and honestly, it had started to annoy me. Enough that I asked him if we could take a break and pick it up another day. At least it would give us another excuse to hang out again, though hopefully at his house next time.
"Do you mind if I open the window?" Jasper asked after a few minutes of us just talking.
"Yeah, sure. I know it can get kind of hot up here. I'm pretty sure Rebecca's trying to make this place a sauna," I joked, pulling my legs up against my chest and draping my arm loosely over them.
When Jasper neared the window, however, his relaxed posture only stiffened. "Valerie, have you had anyone else in here?"
"Excuse me?" The question came out of nowhere. Was he going to be the overprotective, jealous type? I could not handle that type of guy if that were the case. At least I was finding out pretty early into all of this.
"Do you know of someone other than your family and Hannah being in this room?" Jasper asked, enunciating his words very carefully.
"Not that I'm aware of. Why, does it look like someone broke in?" I asked, heartbeat beginning to increase. Was the window broken or something? Honestly, the funeral nightmares were happening so frequently now that I wouldn't have woken up if someone broke in through that window. Still, someone else in the house probably would have noticed.
"No, no one broke in," Jasper reassured me, locking the window instead of opening it. He came over and sat next to me again, beginning to pack up his things. "I think you should be careful though. Try not to go out alone if you can."
"Jasper, what's going on? Why are you so worried all of a sudden?"
"It's probably nothing," Jasper told me, though I didn't believe a single word that came out of his mouth then. He looked more tensed than I'd ever seen him, including that first day I showed up when he looked ready to throw me across the room. "It's better if you don't know, truly. It might be a good idea to stay with Hannah this weekend."
The words didn't sit right with me. I knew he meant that this was all related to his secret, but I hated that something dangerous seemed to be around my room. Something bad enough that it put Jasper on edge. Still, if he thought it was safer if I didn't know, then I would listen. He probably had a point; I would panic if I knew there was something truly dangerous nearby.
"I can ask if she wants to have a girls' night. It's been a while," I offered, helping him separate our calculus work. "I'm not in any danger though, am I?"
"I wouldn't let you be in any danger, Valerie."
That night I couldn't sleep. It wasn't normal to see Jasper so worried. He had tried to hide it, but the expression on his face said it all. Whatever had made it to my window scared Jasper. That said it all to me - I should be careful from now on. I had even considered sleeping on the couch that night but knew that would only make my brother ask more questions than I wanted to answer.
For now, I would just have to trust Jasper when he said that there was no danger here. Still, I was getting very little studying done. Every few seconds I would look up from my calc textbook to watch the window which was locked tight and curtained, or the door which was wide open so the rest of the house would hear anything that happened in the room.
A small leather-bound book grabbed my attention, though, making me abandon all of that. It was the journal that Jasper had given me on my birthday. With everything that had gone on in the past few days, I hadn't had a chance to read it. Without a chance of studying or sleeping, now seemed as good a time as any. So, I curled up on my bed with a blanket wrapped around my shoulders, ready to learn more about the life he lived before Forks.
July 18th, 1860
"Jasper! Mama said lunch is ready!" A bright, young voice called from the porch of a quaint ranch house. It came from a girl no more than eight years of age whose blond hair reflected the sun enough to give her a radiant look. "She said not to miss a meal again or you don't get anything."
"I'll be inside in a moment," Jasper Whitlock reassured his sister, not taking his eyes off the horse in front of him. Though it stood still, its dark eyes revealed how panicked it was. He'd been around horses enough to know he needed to be careful. Still, he couldn't walk away from a horse that he knew was injured and abandoned.
Jasper rested his hand on the horse's snout with a feathery touch. His tanned hands were calloused and rough from growing up on a farm but after a moment, the horse leaned into it. "There you go. You can trust me," he murmured, hardly loud enough for anyone but the creature to hear. Not that there was anyone else around to listen. The Whitlock family lived just outside of Houston so they had acres of land to themselves.
"Is that a horse?" The little girl squealed, suddenly realizing what her older brother was standing in front of. She began to run over, but Jasper quickly put a hand up to stop her.
"I don't want you to spook her," Jasper warned, mainly concerned about the horse possibly hurting his sister. "I found her in the field. She has a cut on her leg."
"Can we keep her? She's fond of you."
"I intend to keep her. I'll take care of her myself," Jasper explained. No doubt their father would be furious, but Jasper couldn't imagine leaving the horse to fend for itself, not now. "She only needs a name. Care to pick one out, Florrie?"
"Hmmm," Florence considered the animal for a while, standing a few paces behind her brother but close enough to get a good look at the chocolate-colored coat. "How about Lilah?"
"Lilah, it is," Jasper answered, giving a wide smile to his sister. "Now go wash up before Mother becomes angry."
"Okay!" Florence listened for once. Normally she would fight anyone who tried to tell her what to do. Jasper knew it was beginning to worry their parents, who were already looking for a nice boy to set her up with. Though he supposed they should have worried more about him. He was already sixteen and while many women in town were infatuated with him, Jasper still hadn't found someone he was interested in marrying.
Without his sister distracting him, Jasper cleaned off the horse and addressed her minor injury before finding a home for her in their barn. The family hadn't been able to afford a horse in his years of working on the house. Now they had one, and she was his. Jasper knew what a connection a horse and their owner could foster, and he couldn't wait to build that trust with Lilah.
April 27th, 1861
It was supper at the Whitlock house though for once no one was speaking. Metal forks clanged against the plates as each family member took out their emotions on them. The father and son, both angered at one another for similar reasons. The father didn't want to be educated by his son, and the son just wanted to be heard amongst all the changes the world was undergoing. The mother sat across from the father, staring at her plate as hurt and fear spread over her. It wasn't often that her husband and son saw eye-to-eye, but this was one of the worst arguments she had seen yet. Then there was the daughter, excitedly watching the two men of the house with unwavering attention. She knew there was more to come.
And more, there was. "I don't understand how you don't see this, Father," Jasper Whitlock tried again, setting his fork down in favor of gesturing dramatically with his hands. "They intend to take away our rights as Texans. I was listening to a speaker today and he said the North wanted all of us to live as they do. How can we stand by and allow them to take away our choices?"
"Are you that gullible? The wealthy are tricking boys like you into fighting their wars for them. They don't care about our rights, about our choices. They care about their profit. The government is taking away their profit and they can't let that happen," his father returned, every muscle in his body tensed.
"They're looking out for every Texan!" Jasper shouted, standing up from the table. His chair went flying behind him, scraping against the wooden floors of their home.
"They're fooling you!" Jasper's father barked, standing up too and stepping close to his son. Despite Jasper's height, his father still towered over him to create a truly intimidating look to himself. "The government has nothing to do with our life! Let them fight their wars, see where it gets them! Our lives have always been the same regardless of what they do! The Whitlocks built this house, we fought for this house to be a part of the United States, and now we maintain this house. I don't want to hear you speak of this war again."
It was that night that Jasper Whitlock ran away from home. It had only meant to be temporary. He had heard that Texas had ceded from the Union and was now preparing to fight for their right of choice. Jasper could not sit back and allow other people to fight for him, for his family. His father had fought in the war that gained their state independence from Mexico and came home injured from it. Jasper would carry on his family's legacy by continuing to fight for their state's independence, no matter the cost. His father was just old and embittered by his war injuries; he had no idea what he was actually speaking of. When Jasper came back as a war hero, finally his father would see that he was right all along.
There lied the problem, however. Jasper Whitlock was only seventeen years of age while the military required their enlistees to be eighteen. It would be another year before he was of age, and by then the war could have already been won. He could not miss out on the fight of a lifetime simply because he was a year too young. What would a year mean when they were on the battlefield? Jasper would have to lie to the officers once he caught up to the Texas military.
Jasper was saddling up Lilah when another voice sounded behind him. "You're leaving, aren't you?" The voice was small, quiet, filled with a sort of darkness he hadn't heard from her yet. Florence was standing in the doorway of the barn, the full moon illuminating the tears gathering in her brown eyes.
"Only temporarily," Jasper promised, patting Lilah lightly before walking closer to his sister. He bent down to her height, resting his hands on both of her shoulders. "I promise I will come back to you."
"What if you get hurt?" Florence asked, voice tearful as she hugged her brother tightly, "I need you, Jasper."
"Florrie, no matter what happens I swear to you that I will return," Jasper told her. "There isn't a version of this life where I am not home with this family. I'm going to defend and protect us, but I'll be back before you know it."
"I'm gonna miss you."
"I'll miss you too. I have Lilah here to remind me of you, even when I'm off in Virginia fighting the Union."
"Good luck," Florrie spoke, wiping at her tears before she pulled out of the hug so her brother wouldn't see them, "Come back home soon."
Hi, everyone! As you can see from this chapter, the important stuff is definitely gonna start happening! We also got to see some more of Jasper's backstory. What do y'all think of the journal entries? My goal is to hopefully get chapters out twice a week when I can now that my semester is officially over, but we'll see how that goes! Regardless, I would love to hear your thoughts on this chapter! Again, thank you so much for reading and I'll talk to y'all in the next update. Stay safe and healthy!
chellekathrynnn: ah, thank you! I'm sorry this hit close to home, but I definitely agree that it's not my favorite when the Cullens are forced to spill all of their secrets right away. It makes me so happy that you enjoy this story, and thank you so much for your review!
Ghostwriter71: that is absolutely what fanfiction is for. I'm not sure I could handle most of what happens in the Twilight saga for many reasons. Thanks so much for leaving another review, it means a lot!
Eeeeaud: I thought maybe Valerie and Jasper deserved a happy moment after all of the drama that's been going on with them lately, I'm glad you thought so too. Thanks for taking the time to review!
LizzyFields: Oh, thank you so much! I'm glad you've enjoyed reading this fic so far, and I really appreciate your review!
EchoInTheVoid: She is something else, isn't she? Thanks so much for leaving a review, it makes me so happy every time I get the notification!
Phoenix-Rising29: Once again, reading your review left me with such a big smile. It really does continue to motivate me in writing this fic! I'm definitely itching to get to writing the chapters where James shows up in full drama force, that's for sure!