We took turns repairing the sabre. When I would need to do work on the data pad I would lean back and work while Kylo took over the smaller repairs. He was much more proficient when it came to sabers and I wasn't going to refuse the help. He was leaned forward in my small quarters constantly pushing his long hair out of his face.

"I know Darth Maul made this long ago, but its so primitive which is incredibly frustrating."

He huffed and brushed his hair out of his face again. I set the data pad down and moved onto my knees, pulling a hair tie out of my pocket. I hesitated but reached forward and gently gathered the top part of his hair. His body froze but he looked up at me while I gently put his hair up on top of his head into a smaller bun.

"Why did you do that?"

"Your hair was frustrating you. The door is locked. No one is coming in unless we open it, so you have time to pull it back down again without anyone seeing it."

He straightened his back and watched me as I sat back down and went back to work.

"You still have compassion towards me."

"Things can be different when I'm not struggling under the pressure of your boot."

He watched me for a few moments before going back to working. I flipped through a few messages and huffed out a sigh. Hux was smothering me with messages and directives.

"He's going to call you soon, especially with you not answering fast enough."

"If I answered every message I would be doing nothing but typing."

"Pretty sure that's the point."

He sat back and looked at the sabre.

"I think it's done. At least as well as it's going to be for now. We can continue working on it as we have time but Snoke will want to hear from us."

"How soon?"

"Now. Snoke doesn't wait."

I nodded and winced when my data pad started going off with a call from Hux. I looked at Kylo but he didn't say anything. I grabbed the saber off the ground and inspected it. It felt more complete though still foreign in my hands. It wasn't exactly calling to me but I could feel the power coursing through it. I tossed the data pad on the bed and nodded at Kylo.

"You made the right choice. Follow me."

"Retrieving the artifacts went without issue, Master."

"He had both pieces of the sabre?"

"Yes, Master."

"How long until it is completed?"

Kylo looked at me and nodded. I held it out and activated it. The red glow was more steady and consistent than Kylo's but it still hummed louder than I expected.

"Excellent. How does it feel, Aurora?"

"It feels.. powerful."

"As it should. I see you are still wearing the black robes."

"Yes, Supreme Leader. I wore them to accompany Lord Ren and have been working on the saber and my Commanders work since then. I didn't want to waste the time changing."

"I see. I sense there is more to it than that. You feel more comfortable in them. They feel more like you belong in them."

"I am forever thankful for the position in the First Order I have been given."

"But feeling the power from that saber changed things. Your feelings have changed."

"I- I would never put down what I have been given. You have given me opportunities that-"

"Describe the power. Now."

I looked down at the saber and let out a shaky breath.

"It's intoxicating, Supreme Leader. It's like the weight of the galaxy has been placed in my hand along with the key of how to control it. It.. it makes me feel whole."

Snoke was silent as he watched me staring at the saber.

"Look at me, child."

I moved my eyes up and clicked the saber off.

"Why do you think I sent you to get those artifacts with my apprentice?"

"I think you are testing me, Supreme Leader."

"And what is the test?"

"Loyalty, to an extent. You want to see how I react to having this power. You want to make sure that I will still obey and stay loyal to what you want and need of me even with this type of power in my grasp."

"Your intelligence and perception always pleases me. Tell me, if I tell you to hand the saber over to my apprentice and forget it exists what would you do?"

"I would hand it over no questions asked."

"And if I tell you that your new attire is your norm?"

"That would mean-"

"That you no longer work under General Hux. That dynamic would change. He would likely be absolutely furious with me, though I'm sure he would take it out on you."

"I.. I pledged my loyalty to you, Supreme Leader."

My voice was weaker than I wanted it to be but I meant what I said. Kylo turned his head towards me, seemingly surprised.

"I believe everything you are saying. Here is the problem though. I need you strong."

"What do you need me to do?"

"I need you to decide. I don't think that me telling you either way is a true test of loyalty. You fear me more than you fear my apprentice and General Hux. I am pleased with your progress either as a commander or an apprentice. Your true test of loyalty is you figuring out where your true strengths lie; the force or your leadership. Granted I know you could say they work well together but you cannot choose both."

"How long do I have until you need my answer?"

"Use these missions to gauge your strengths but don't let it distract you."

"Why are you giving me a choice?"

"Because you have never in your life had to make a choice. You have constantly been dealt cards that have dictated what you must do. You will do whatever I tell you to do, that I know. Now it is time for you to decide how you can serve me the best. We will be speaking soon."

The transmission cut out and I immediately walked away from Kylo and into my chambers. I shut the door behind me and sank to the floor. He was right; I had never been given the chance to make my own decision. I was a slave, at the temple, strapped to a table, Kylo's toy and now Hux-

I felt my stomach churn as I realized just how controlled I was by Hux. I played his games and the mind games were fun sometimes. I was able to flex my mental abilities with him, but I had let myself believe that it was mutual.

I believed in our bond and that what we were feeling was genuine. I guess more that he was actually feeling more for me than something to stand over. I had willingly let me control me under the impression that he wanted me just as much as I wanted him.

He didn't want me. He wanted to controlme. To own me even. He wanted to see the look at Kylo's face when he figured out that we had been intimate. He wanted me to be under him because that meant that I wasn't under Kylo.

It was all a game to him. I was a pawn. A play toy. A fucking hole to fill just to piss off Kylo. He paraded me around wearing a rank that hegave me like a brand of ownership. They didn't respect me. They feared his wrath if they showed me anything but the rouse, he wanted me to see.

I turned and punched the door, leaving a decent sized dent in it with my hand being made of a harder type of metal. I wished it hurt more than it did. I wished that my bones cracked when I hit the door but instead it was just the sound of metal on metal. I choked back my tears as I got up and climbed into bed. I set the saber down in front of me and stared at it until I finally fell asleep.

I heard my data pad go off and realized that it was Hux calling. I scrambled out of bed and quickly changed into a plain black undershirt that was part of my uniform. I sat on the bed and hit answer so he could only see the shirt.

"Commander. You have not been answering my messages."

"I apologize, General."

"No excuse?"

"No, sir."

He glared at me for a few moments, taking in my appearance.

"Were you asleep?"

"Yes, sir."

"Need I remind you that you are on a missionand that doesn't mean you get to just sit back and sleep. If I had known you would slack off I-"

"I have been working on things from Supreme Leader."

"What? What things?"

I watched him look past me and bark out an order for people to leave. After a few moments he leaned in closer to the screen and looked at me.

"What is going on, Aurora."

"Supreme Leader just has some extra things I am attending to while in transit to the mission."

"Why am I just finding out about this?"

"I went to sleep right after I spoke with him."

He glared at me.

"What are you hiding?"

"Nothing."

I stopped myself from reaching out and touching the saber next to me.

"What is Ren doing? Does he know about these extrathings?"

"He does."

"All he would tell me was that you were indisposed."

"I was just sleeping. Between preparing for the mission and the extra stuff Supreme Leader has ordered me to do I was tired. I apologize for not getting back to you as quickly as you want."

"You being out there does NOT change anything, Aurora."

"I-I know."

Lie. More had changed than I could even describe to him.

"Are you acting strange because of my choice in reprimand?"

"Choice of.. you mean when you struck me?"

He rolled his eyes and crossed his arms in front of him.

"You've done worse to yourself."

"I still thought you would have more control than to strike me like that."

"I am your commanding officer."

"Yes, you are."

"Did you think you wouldn't be reprimanded or that you shouldn't be?"

"I don't agree with being reprimanded for speaking the truth to Supreme Leader, however that doesn't matter with this. What matters is the fact that you struck me. Do you often strike those you command or was it just okay because we have slept together?"

"How dare you ask me that, Aurora."

"I never thought I would have to! We have been playing this song and dance for a while. I accept that we always need to put work first. I accept that you will always be my commanding officer. I know that there is a line that you have drawn in the sand showing exactly where my place is."

"Then what, do tell, is the problem."

"The problem is you are the one who crossed it!"

"Oh, for fucks sake, Aurora. I didn't hear you whining about this shit with Ren!"

"It was not like this with Kylo. From the moment I opened my eyes I knew I was his prisoner. I was his play toy. I was meant to be his wife and his property. Is that how you see me?"

"I hardly think it matters how I see you."

"It does matter. Am I a Commander in the First Order or am I just a body you can climb on when you want to?"

Hux leaned forward and gripped the desk in front of him, glaring at me.

"Remember your place, girl."

"Girl? So which is it then!? Commander Aurora or fuck toy for the General? You would not strike any of your captains or lieutenants. You would not cross that line and risk looking like Kylo. Don't forget that I've been in your mind, Hux."

"Are you incapable of keeping our business and personal business separate?"

"I'm not the one that crossed that line."

"You're being incredibly dramatic."

"Am I? Because the last time I checked I wasn't the one that bruised myself."

"You may as well have! You disobeyed me!"

"I was put in your hands by Supreme Leader Snoke. HE is the one who has ordered my life worth saving on more than one occasion. The entire reason I was placed as a Commander was to learn from you and then make it out here to lead. I bowed to him, not you."

"I am still your General!"

"Yes, you are. I will never say that you aren't. But in the end of all of this, my loyalty lies with Supreme Leader Snoke. Do you think he would have let me live if that weren't the truth?"

"What is it that Snoke has you doing?"

"I-"

I was about to answer him when a sharp knocking came from my door. I looked over and Hux stood up straight. The door opened to an unmasked Kylo looking amused. I could immediately tell he had heard all the conversation.

"Who is in your personal chambers?"

Kylo walked directly behind me and leaned down, putting his face almost directly next to mine.

"Greetings, General."

"Ren."

Hux glared at him, barely paying any attention to me.

"I'm afraid that I need the Commander for a while now that she is awake. Is there anything pressing she needs to be made aware of?"

I could hear the smirk in Kylos voice and it only further pissed Hux off.

"What the Commander and I speak of is noneof your concern."

"If you really didn't want anyone else to know, you wouldn't be yelling at her. The entire command shuttle can hear you. As for right now, she is needed for other tasks. If the mission has not changed, we must be going."

Hux locked his jaw and stood up perfectly straight.

"Commander, I best be getting reports regularly."

"Yes, General."

He hung up leaving me alone with Kylo.

"Seems like you have made him angry."

I huffed out a sigh and tossed the data pad away from me, running my hands down my face.

"What did you need me for?"

"Nothing. I was tired of listening to him."

I looked at him and scowled.

"You could use some meditation though. Though you need to work, you also have a lot of emotions you need to work through so you can decide things. You're all over the place."

"I wanted to. I woke up to him calling me."

"And scrambled to change your shirt so he wouldn't see you not in uniform. You need to get past his perception of you. All that matters is your decision and what you and Snoke decide to do from there."

"I know Kylo. I'm trying."

He stood up and looked down at me.

"Try harder. You aren't going to get another chance like this."

After a quick shower I wrapped the towel around myself and stepped back into the living quarters. I looked at the clothes that had been set up for me. I ran my fingers across my Commanders uniform and frown. I understood how hard I worked to get where I was but I couldn't shake the feeling that I had only made it that far by being subservient to Hux. I moved my hand over and snatched up the training uniform I had been given. I slipped it on quickly and pulled my hair into a braid that I quickly wrapped into a bun.

I sat on the bed and quickly put my data pad on silent. I chuckled to myself at the fact I had chosen a softer place to meditate. There wasn't a time I could remember that I ever enjoyed sitting on hard surfaces. Luke had always chastised me and told me that I needed to stop being so hyper aware of how my body felt. It never seemed to matter though. The moment I was left alone I would find a soft spot to sit on to meditate.

I felt everything start to fall away. Although I could feel my body, I could also feel all the force signatures around me. Kylos was as bright as ever. I felt out to him and let my own signature brush against his. I felt his amusement, so I pushed on and recognized everyone else on the ship. I had always thought it was interesting that even though someone may not be force sensitive that they still have their own signature.

I eventually pushed out further into the empty space. Even though it was different to not feel life forces, the galaxy had its own pulse. It was vast and made me feel small, but not any less important. I let the feeling wrap around me and comfort me. It made me feel like I could be important even if I wasn't the most important force around me.

Once I found myself comfortable, I was able to notice how turbulent my mind was. Snoke had been setting me up for that moment; to make me choose. I didn't feel manipulated by him though. I wasn't sure why, but I trusted his judgement. He had kept me alive and allowed me to grow. His methods were brutal and harsh, but I doubted I would have pushed to the point that I was at without him. He seemed to know what I needed and when I needed it.

I wished I had the same insight. I had no idea what was going to be the best for me. I needed to be strong but both aspects of my life had their own strengths. Neither of them could work together. I either needed to devote my time to the force and strengthening myself or devoting myself to the Commanders position. They both had strengths but choosing one and not the other scared me. Without realizing, I reached out to Snoke.

I feel how confused and scared you are. Tell me what you feel, child. Reach out. Feel what is around you. What do you feel?

I feel everything. I feel the shuttle and all the signatures around me. I feel the galaxy and its power.

What else?

I feel.. power.

Good. Where is it coming from?

It's dark. It's the lightsaber. I think.. I think it's calling me.

Yes. I can feel that. It's been calling to you for a long time. Long before you even knew of its existence.

It did when we first found it. It sounds different now.

You helped fix it. You've been holding it and sleeping with it. It can feel how strong you are. It's been so long since it's felt someone reach out to it. You should be honored.

I am, Supreme Leader. I hope my actions don't show that I am ungrateful.

You're lost, child. You have been so lost for so long. I want you to find your strength. I want you to find your destiny. You need to find your strength for yourself. I took you from my apprentice when the connection became a distraction. I fear the General has become a distraction to you. You've forgotten just how powerful you are with the force.

He didn't want me to use the force.

Forget what he wants. Forget what my apprentice wants. Figure out what YOU want. It's right in front of you, child. You hold the cards with this.

I felt my connection with Snoke snap away as he ended it. I moved back from the space around me and could feel everyone else on the ship. I focused in on the sabre and felt it humming to me. When I opened my eyes, it was levitating in front of me. A small smile spread on my face and I reached out to it. When I wrapped my fingers around it all I could hear was the crystal singing to me.

The next few days flew by. Our missions kept me busy as I led the troops. I found it must less challenging working with the Storm Troopers than it was working with officers. The Troopers were obedient and well trained. I had sent a note to General Hux complimenting him on them and it had seemed to placate him. Our missions ran smoothly, and I was able to get all my reports in early. I was finding it easy.

Before we had started, I converted a holster to hold the lightsaber. I knew it was unorthodox and Hux would be pissed, but it pained me being so far away from it. I didn't know for sure, but it seemed like I was pulling power from it. It helped me make the rough decisions like calling for a death or to burn down a village. The little voice in the back of my head telling me not to kill innocents was being washed away. Instead of the compassionate little girl crying when someone died, the hunt for the First Order victory was more important.

I could feel Kylo watching me. He never said anything about my decisions but even with his helmet on I could feel his eyes boring into me. It didn't bother me though. I knew that I would be watched. Between Hux and Snoke there was no way I would be allowed to just do my joblike everyone else. There was too much on the line with me.

Most of my time in-between missions I spent meditating. Snoke didn't come to me like he did the first time, but I could still feel him skimming around seeing how I was doing. Kylo came to me sometimes and helped me find different ways to focus and to tap into the dark energy around me. The darkness was so much easier to touch and grab onto than the light was. I found that I didn't need to eat or sleep as much as before. I was becoming stronger. I was so much more confident in myself and my abilities. Confident enough that I decided to talk to Hux about everything.

He answered the video call and I saw that he already had his uniform top off. I found myself smiling as we connected.

"Commander."

"General."

"What do I owe the pleasure of such a late call? I already received your reports and messaged back."

"I know. I wanted to call to talk, I guess. I haven't had much time to talk to you since I left."

The scowl left his face and he sat up more, leaning forward towards me.

"I figured you didn't want to make time for me."

"Maybe at first. I was upset with you."

"What changed?"

I sighed and pulled my hair out of the ponytail.

"I feel more centered. More sure of myself I guess."

"How have you accomplished that."

"You asked me what Snoke wanted from me. He has me working with the force."

Hux scowled at me, crossing his arms across his chest.

"I know you don't understand the force, but this is a good thing. Its sharpening my abilities and letting me connect more."

"You mean connect to Ren more."

"That isn't what this is about."

"Isn't it? Supreme Leader has known of your force abilities from the beginning. Now suddenly he wants you to tap into it? I don't buy it. Ren has done something."

"Kylo didn't do anything."

"How can you not see he is manipulating you!"

I sighed and ran my hand down my face.

"This isn't how I wanted this conversation to go."

"How did you expect it to go, Aurora?"

"I wanted to tell you what I've been working on. I'm excited about how much stronger I feel. I thought you would be excited for me."

"Excited for you? You aren't gaining this strength by chance. It isn't some chance growth you are finally figuring out. Ren saw a chance to steal you away from me and took it. And what is worse if you are falling for it."

"Why does it need to be a power play!? Snoke wanted me to become stronger. You helped me get there. You helped me find the confidence to stand up and what I needed to do. The force was already there. For fucks sake we are bonded! I know it might not mean much to you but-"

"You think you're accomplished now? You're out there as a Commander so now things have changed? Nothing has changed, Aurora. You're still the easily manipulated little girl that was pulled off that table."

"How could you say that to me? After everything we have been through. After how close we have become."

"Close? You think we're so close because why? Because I fucked you? You're hardly the first woman I have had screaming under me in my bed. What you are though, is the first woman who had dared act like you aren't mine while I want you. I warned you that I get what I want. Did you forget that?"

"The force brought us together. That is why we are close. I care for you. I know that I am not your first anything but I thought.. I thought you felt the same for me."

He scoffed and sat back.

"I don't have time for love, Aurora. I told you all of this."

"Why can't you even try to admit that you care about me. I have been in your head, Hux. What else do you want?"

"Give up on the force. Stay as a Commander. Choosing the force is choosing Ren."

"Hux, that isn't-"

"You asked what I wanted. That is it."

I sighed and nodded. He went on to talk to me about how he would be willing to try to have a legitimate relationship with me and how I was right. He claimed to care about me and couldn't wait for me to come back. I could hear the words but I was in a different place entirely. I found my fingers tracing the saber on my leg. It made me feel powerful. Hux just made me feel controlled.

"I do have good news, my dear."

I snapped out of my weird headspace and focused on Hux.

"I will be meeting you towards the end of your last mission. We want to station more troopers there so I will be going out there with you. You will fly back to the ship with me and Ren will be doing whatever it is he does."

"That's great."

"Once you get back here, we can discuss everything more. We don't need to worry about all of it. You've made the right choice. You know I do care about you, Aurora. I am just a very jealous man. I don't share."

"I know. If you can't have me no one can, right?"

He smiled at me but I could see the malice behind it.

"That's right, my sweet. Get some sleep. I will see you in a few standard hours."

I spent the next few hours fixing up the small cracks in the sabre. It was calming and helped me connect with it more. I had held sabers before, but nothing compared to the connection I felt with that one. Soon before it was time to land, Kylo came in and sat in front of me.

"Hux wasn't completely wrong, you know. I did go to Snoke about your force abilities."

"I already know that."

"I do still want you."

"I also know that. But I also know you can differentiate my force capabilities and your wants."

"Yes, I can. I have been."

"I would have been on these missions regardless. It's what he's been training me for. Just as Snoke has known of my abilities from the get-go. I suspect he has had all of this planned for a very long time."

Kylo hummed and offered his hand for the sabre. I gently handed it to him and watched as he inspected it.

"Your force signature is starting to match it. You're in sync."

"I can feel it."

I smiled and called it back into my hands, holstering it to my leg.

"He wants me to give up the force and work on a relationship with him."

"Is that what you want?"

I frown.

"Yes and no. The force connected the two of us. There has to be a reason for that."

"He wants you to change who you are."

"You did too."

"I wanted you to grow. I pushed you to open your eyes. You can hate my methods all day but I never tried to change you."

He used the force to gently caress across my hair and pull the ends forward so they were laying across my chest.

"I never enjoyed hurting you. You're my weakness."

"Weakness properly manipulated can become strength."

He smirked at me and my heart ached.

"We're destined for each other, Aurora. I know you can see that. I'm not a patient man but destiny works its way out either way."

"I need to focus on this last mission, Kylo. Can we not talk about this right now?"

He shrugged and stood, offering a hand to me. I took it and he pulled me into him. He wrapped his left arm around my waist and rest his right on the side of my face. He ran his thumb across my cheek bone and looked into my eyes.

"You never needed my permission to feel beauty. I couldn't have taken that away even if I wanted to."

I hesitated but pulled away from him when I felt the shuttle start to move towards landing.

"It's time to focus, Kylo. We.. we can talk more later."

He nodded and walked out of the room leaving me alone. I let out a shaky breath and got myself prepared. I desperately needed a break from everyone.