The exhilaration Christine felt as she walked home was the most alive she had felt in months. She could already feel an ache in her diaphragm after using the organ for the first time in months, but the feeling, althought uncomfortable, made her happy. Singing had revitalised her; it had made her feel whole. She knew she shouldn't have agreed to see Erik again for if she got caught, especially leaving an establishment with a cabinet peculiar, the assumption would be that they were engaged in an extramarital affair.

When Erik had taken her hands after her song had concluded it had taken all of her self control not to kiss him. Although his touch was cold, it had felt welcoming and secure. She loved Raoul, but her feelings for Erik were confusing; he had helped her reach new heights and showed her what an all consuming passionate love could do, but he also scared her. His love for her was frightening, his actions were terrifying and he had murdered two people - one was a lecherous scaremonger, and the other was merely an inconvenience, but it was not Erik's place to take a life. As much as she wanted to believe she did not have the authority to judge his actions, that was God's prerogative, she found it difficult to fully forgive. Then there was something about his music and how it made her feel. She couldn't quite understand why it made her heart soar, or how it sent tingles through her body. She had a fleeting thought that he may use magic, but after how he begged for her forgiveness once he admitted to having manipulated her, she couldn't quite accept he would try it again.

The closer she got to her home the slower he pace became, her feet heavy and her reluctance to return grew. She knew that the Doweger would seek her out and demand to know where she had been and whom she had been with, and Christine wasn't sure she had the energy to deal with the woman's unneeded demands. Her mind was full of Erik's music, his touch and her promise she would see him again.

Christine had been correct in her assumption and was greeted by a stern and rather displeased looking Doweger Comtess. At times she wondered how Raoul, a genuinely kind man whomwore his heart on his sleeve, could've grown up in a household managed by his mother. The strangeness of their relationship wasn't lost her her and she wondered whether the Doweger behaved differently when she wasn't around and before she had wed Raoul. One of Phillppe's main complaints was that his sisters' and mother's affections had made Raoul into a poodle-faker and he was far "too soft" for a man of his standing.

Christine's father had once told her to "kill it with kindness" when people were rude or abrasive, so that was how she tried to deal with Raoul's cantankerous mother. She would speak sweetly, offer kind gestures and smile. Sometimes she couldn't manage, sometimes the words and looks became too much, but after her time with Erik and now music filled her heart once again she found a new found resolve not to allow the woman to tire her.

The dress that had been laid out for dinner was, in Christine's opinion, quite horrible. She knew it had been selected by the Doweger, and it was one of Christine's older outfits. She had become accustomed to English fashion and had taken a dislike to the overly large bustles and hairpieces worn in France, but the piece she was required to wear was very 'French'. There was a mixture of pink and white lace that decorated the skirt and then filled out the bustle, the bodice was the same colour and the lace ran up to a lower neckline than was the customery in England. She had become fond of the higher necklines worn in Britain as they provided more modesty, and having spent years dressed in questionable ballet outfits with men gawking and leering at her, she found the modesty provided by English fashion liberating.

Dinner was the same as every other dinner she had with the Doweger present.There were snide remarks, disproving looks and the occasional demeaning comment made towards Raoul. Christine had hoped the events at The Ritz would've marked the dawn if a new relationship between Raoul and his mother, but it seemed they were pretending it never happened and she felt slightly dissapionted that the Raoul of that evening seemed to have gone. She loved him as he was; kind, gentle and caring, but the Raoul of that evening had been passionate and had provided her with something she had realised she wanted.

If she hadn't seen Erik earlier that day the Doweger's attitude would have caused her distress, but her mood had been lifted to such heights even her mother-in-law's tempremenet couldn't bring her down. After each remark thrown in her direction Christine would think about her earlier interactions and how Erik's music made her feel.

Raoul had sat quite placidly through dinner, only occasionally registering the irregular conversations occuring between his wife and and mother. It wasn't that he didn't care what his mother was saying, but his mind was elsewhere. Since his conversation with Gilles he had been considering telling Christine about his role in the whole affair surrounding Destler, and confronting her about her letters. The problem he had was that if he admitted his deciet and confronted her about hers, there was a possibly he would not like the outcome, and that thought scared him more than anything else he had ever experienced.

At the very least they would argue, and he hated it when they argued.

--xxx--

Raoul had stood outside his mother's door to ensure she was quiet before visiting Christine. He didn't want her to bare witness to anything he was going to say to his wife, for he didn't want her interefence. If she got wind of Christine communicating to another man, who she wasn't related to, his mother would demand he divorce her on the grounds of infidelity or face a greater scandal. He found the whole idea hypocritical; men of his standing would keep lovers all the time - just like Phillppe and La Sorelli - so he hardly saw why a woman writing letters to a man would be considered so scandalous the only possible outcome would be divorce.

When Raoul entered Christine's room she looked slightly confused by his attire. Based upon her own appearance; hair down and in her nightdress, waiting exoectantly upon her bed, that she was expecting a visit of a conjugal nature, and he normally came to her room in his nightshirt.

"Would you like me to help you undress?" she asked with a coy smile.

For a moment he considered her request. Although she rarely refused him, her temprement of late had made the experience less enjoyable for him, but her current mood was certainly more appealing and she seemed more like the Christine he had married. She had unpinned his cravat and was about to start on his shirt buttons when he stilled her. Moving quickly he made his way tonher dresser and removed Erik's letters.

Raoul knew what he was about to do was manipulative. If he started by admitting his own deciet they would immediately argue, but if he accused her first and then admitted his own lies her own guilt would prevent her from doing anything too rash.

He was scared she loved Destler, in fact he suspected she did. When he had confided in Gilles his friend hadn't offered any reassurances, which fed his own fear that others believes she loved the Opera Ghost and would willingly leave him. Was he angry at his wofe for her behaviour? Yes, but most anger he felt was directed at himself and Destler. He had played an intrinsic role in reintroducing the man into their lives, and by doing so he had placed a strange temoation in front of his wife. Of he hadn't travelled to the USA, and if he hadn't engaged in a questionable buisness dealing with Gilles André and Richard Firmin, none of this would be occuring. He knew he couldn't blame her for his avtions, but he didn't think he could really blame her for her own: Destler was a manipulative man.

"It's...it's...it's not what you think Raoul", Christine cried seeing the letters clutched in her husband's hands "I promise Raoul. Read the leters. They are inncocent correspondence. They are about music". He had already read them, he knew they were about music and overall their contents seemed quite trival. Of they had been written by any other man he doubted he would have minded as much, but then again, if they had been written by any other man she wouldn't have kept them a secret. The fact they were kept a secret made him concerned she had more to hide. In an attempt to show his displeasure he pried her slender fingers that had gripped his shirt and scattered the letters across the floor. In an attempt to look more intimidating he took a deep breath, stood tall and took a step backwards.

"You shan't write to him again Christine", his tone was authoritive. "Tell me, how would you feel if I were to write secret correspondences to another woman? Especially one you knew had designs on me?"

By this point the Vicomtess was sitting on the floor and crying quietly, "I promise Raoul. It is about music, you know I miss music. There is nothing else going on - I promise", before adding feebly, "he...he...he is engaged to Meg". She would never betray Meg in that way, surely he would understand that.

Raoul had turned his back on his wife as she cried, unwanting to see her tear stained face. He could never cope with her crying, all he ever wanted to do was embrace her, wipe away her tears and keep her safe. Once again Destler had invaded their life and caused her tears, once again he would need to pick up the pieces and comfort her.

"Do you know of his plans? For you to sing the lead in his show?". He still didn't turn to face her. He feared she knew. He feared that if he faced her he would see her complicity. At best, if she knew she was being manipulated, at worse she was actively working against his wishes.

"No", she replied in a whisper. She didn't know Erik lanned.on her singing in his new production, but she wasn't surprised. She was surprised that Raoul knew.

Suddenly things began to fall into place; the impromptu trip to New York, his insistence they went to a specific show while there and that they would meet the comoposer, his deep desire to see the police, and finally Monsieur André visiting her house.

"You knew he was Meg's fiancé didnt you? You knew when you had them offer her a job. You knew the theatre who employed Meg also employed him." Seeing the panic in her husband's eyes she continued before she lost her nerve, "Raoul, what are you involved in?".

By now Raoul was pacing and he looked as thiugh he would either burst into tears or start shouting at any moment. He wasn't sure what to do: should he lie to her? Tell her the truth? A half truth?

He eventually decided that he needed her to understand his role in the whole sordid affair so that she didn't run off with Destler. Surely if she knew what he had done for her, what he planned to do for her, then she would willingly ignore that man.

"Yes I knew", he said sheepishly, "and it has all been a buisness venture, a money making scheme". He gestured for her to sit on the bed. Looking at the floor, unable to bare the possible looks of anger and dissapointment from his wife.

"I know you aren't happy. I know you long for things I cannot give you", he looked briefly at her - a stolen glance to check her expression. He knew he shouldnt, that he didn't want to, but he couldnt help it. He needed to see if there was any indication that he was wrong. He felt his hopes lift slightly when she opened her mouth to protest, but he continued before she spoke. "So I agreed a plan with the managers of the theatre."

"We knew who was and that he was in America, so you and I travelled there. I ensured we saw his performance and that we were to meet him. I would then go to the police with the aim was to drive him back to Europe so he could be approached about the role at the theatre".

Christine began to feel sick. Raoul had taken her to the USA to see Erik, believing she was scared of him and that the man was dangerous. "You knowingly put me in harms way. You didn't know he wouldn't kidnap me, or that he wouldn't try to kill you. How could you do it?" She was crying again; her Raoul, he ruined Raoul wouldn't do that, "Why? Why did you put us in danger?"

"I am desperate Lottë. You arent happy because you are denied music. You are denied music because of me and my family. If I didn't rely on them financially then you could sing". He took her hands and looked into her eyes, pleading for her to understand. "Please, don't you see? I've been trying to make money so you can sing. I've been trying to make you happy".

What he was saying made sense. Althiugh it was rash, and for lack of a better word stupid, it did make sense. But what she couldn't comprehend was why he had put them in danger. She missed music, but she never would want him to risk his life for her - not again.

As thiugh he had read her thoughts Raoul continued with his rationalisation of his behaviour, "He didn't hurt you. He wouldn't".

"But you didn't know that Raoul! How dare you!"

"Can't you see? He came here, he is working here. Meg is here. It is all turning out how it should. Richard said the scandal with Meg will draw in more patrons and sell more tickets because gossips worth its weight in gold, and once I have my share you can sing."

Christine rubbed her temples; it was alot of information to take in, but none of it explained why Monsieur André had come to her door. She suspected, but she needed him to tell her.

"Who are the managers? How do you know they will let me sing when I am able? They have never heard me", maybe it was unfair of her to play ignorant, but considering how her husband had manipulated her she didn't see why it would be considered much of a sin, "Also, how did they know who Erik really is? I'm confused"

"They have heard you. It is Gilles André and Richard Firmin. Richard wants you to sing now, but I have told him inequivalently that you won't. You are not to sing that man's songs Christine", Raoul spoke firmly asserting his authority as her husband, "I promise you can sing again once I am no longer dependant on the de Chagny Estate, but until then I beg you not to sing his music", then gripping her hands tightly and pleading once more, "If you do I fear I will lose you forever. Please don't communicate with him anymore".

"I promise", but it was a promise she knew she couldn't keep.

--xxx--

A/N - this was finished two days ago, but with all the Phandom drama over the last two days I couldn't bring myself to post it. Sorry.