Chapter 24

"I think- I think you pronounced concussion wrong." I chuckled, the statement still not fully sinking in. He shook his head.

"It was odd at first because it didn't look like normal positive tests but there is nothing else it could be." I pressed my fingers into my eyes. My father sighed.

"You need a minute?" I shook my head, not looking up at him, "Well this is good right? We were so worried that you wouldn't be able to-" I held up my hand, letting out a sound that was akin to a croak.

"Too fast." I chewed my cheek, the taste of my blood in my mouth. How the hell was I going to tell Daryl, especially after Beth? Would there ever be a good time?

"Gwen...Are you sure that I can't-"

"Dad, we don't even know where we are going to sleep tonight. You have something here, even if it wasn't your idea. These young cops need you, they are strong but they are idiots." He snorted, "As much as I don't want to walk away from you either, I have to…" he nodded in understanding, pulling something out of his pocket. It was a small box wrapped in brown paper.

"I have this for Daryl. It's something Norah and I talked about if we ever saw him again." he handed it to me. I took the small package, putting it in the pocket of my trench coat, "Oh and I have this." it was a little wooden pendant, one half was a wolf the other an elephant, "I made it for you. I hoped that one day I would see my daughter again." He had strung a piece of leather through it so it could be worn around my neck. I hugged him tightly, tears burning in the corners of my eyes again.

"Thank you Daddy." He nodded. I sighed, "I need to go." He nodded again.

"Oh before you do." he also handed me a big jug, "Prenatal vitamins." The fact hit me like a truck again. He took them back and put them in my bag as well as some other supplies he was able to sneak past Shepherd.

"I'll walk you down."

At the bottom, the others were all curled together around Beth's body. Rick spied us and came over. The Sheriff took my father's hand giving it a hearty shake.

"I'm very sorry for your loss, Rick. I wish that hadn't happened." Joel paused, Rick looking up to meet his eyes, "I've decided to stay, to help them, the wards, the officers. A doctor should be in charge of a hospital right?" Rick nodded, "Thank you for taking care of my daughter."

"She takes care of us. And you should thank Daryl…" My partner was walking over to us. I walked down the steps and into his arms my tears falling anew. I held him as he cried, rubbing his back. My dad walked up to us, Daryl looking up at him. He gripped Daryl's forearm, their eyes conveying the message. Maybe that's where i learnt to read expressions so well. Joel had always been a man of few words but bottomless emotions. Joel pulled me to him again, kissing the top of my head.

"I'm so blessed to have had a daughter like you. Thank you for adopting us." He chuckled, so humble, pretending that it was I that saved them instead of vice versa.

"You and Norah were the only parents I ever knew." I pulled back, looking up at his face trying to memorize every delta, wondering if I would ever see him again.

"I'd like to ask you to continue to protect my daughter Mr. Dixon. Done a fine job so far." He turned to Daryl. My partner nodded. Then Joel turned on his heel, walking away and into the hospital.

After we located a few vehicles we got the hell out of Atlanta, again, without so much as a backward glance. The caravan stopped to camp for the night once we had put a good amount of distance between us and the city. As soon as we stopped Daryl went into the woods with Beth's body to bury her. Maggie and Glenn went soon after. When it was done all of us who knew her went to visit her grave. When it was my turn I sat down at the end of the grave, trying to think of anything I could say to her...

"He hasn't told me yet what happened when he was with you after prison,"I started looking down at the disturbed dirt, "but I know- I have you to thank for helping him. I was dead, we all were, as much as he knew, but you kept him going. So- thank you. I hope you find peace, now that you are with your dad again. My mom's there too. I think they would really get along." Tears streamed down my cheeks, "I'm so sorry we couldn't keep you safe in the end. You had come so far from that girl who wanted to end her life back on the farm. Instead you had your life taken from you." I whipped my face, "Don't worry about Daryl, I'll take care of him. Maggie has Glenn, he'll help her. Just...just rest." I touched the dirt, then I stood, walking back to the cars.

I set up my hammock in the trees then I herded Daryl towards it. He was exhausted enough from today's ordeal, maybe he'd be able to sleep. He could barely keep his eyes open as it was. Once he was situated, I climbed in resting my head on his chest. He fell right to sleep but my eyes stayed open as I thought about the news my dad had told me. I also thought about our next move. Glenn had told Rick that Eugene had lied about the cure. He wasn't surprised given that I had already told him I didn't think there really was one. When my eyes closed I dreamt of him. My son. Our son.

I woke when Daryl slipped out of the hammock. I laid there for a while longer then followed him. Rick and some others were gathered together Daryl and I stood near the back, listening.

"It was secure." Rick was referring to Noah's home, "it has a wall, homes, twenty people. Beth wanted to go with him. She wanted to get him there. It's a long trip, but if it works out, it's the last long trip we have to make."

"And what if it isn't around anymore?" Glenn asked.

"Then we keep goin'."

"Then we find a new place." Michonne answered. There was no argument against it. I went back to roll up the hammock, and I saw Daryl disappear into the woods. I let him just go, knowing he needed his space for now. When the hammock was stowed I walked over to Carol.

"Hey, how are you feeling?" She looked up at me.

"LIke I got hit by a car." She gave me a slight grin, making me snort softly.

"Well you look fantastic given the circumstances." I told her.

"Don't lie. I mean look at you. You look like shit."

"Pfft, yer right. You look like shit too." I sat down next to her. I wanted to tell her... No. I was going to tell her.

"Carol, if I tell you something can you- can you swear not to tell Daryl?" She furrowed her brow.

"Something he shouldn't know or something you aren't able to tell him yet?" Shit maybe this wasn't such a good idea after all.

"The latter. I'm just not sure when a good time will be…you know...given what just happened…"

"As long as you do tell him, I'll keep your secret." She held my hand patting it lightly, "I'm happy you're telling me, whatever it is."

"Don't know if yer gonna say that after I tell you." She shook her head.

"Just tell me." I looked at her for several more seconds before letting out a sigh of defeat.

"Joel ran a couple of tests on me before I left, just to reassure him that I was healthy and wasn't going to die from something medical. One of the tests came back positive for-."

"Oh no!" Her voice was hushed, her eyes starting to tear up. I waved my hands in alarm.

"No. No! I'm not dying. Quite the opposite actually." I chuckled, rubbing the back of my neck "Daryl's gonna be a dad." I said softly. Her hands clapped to her mouth the tears already gathered in her eyes, starting to fall.

"Oh Gwen…" She hugged me briefly then pulled away, her hands still on my shoulders, "I'm not sure if I'm incredibly happy or... incredibly worried..." I furrowed my brow, her words echoing my own thoughts.

"Me too...Now you can understand why I'm not sure how or when to tell him." She nodded, pulling back to look at me. She had a smile on her face, laced with a little bit of sadness.

"Do you know...how long?" Unfortunately there was only one possible time it could have happened.

"After I found him again after the prison, just before Terminus. So not even a week." Most women didn't find out for weeks, four days...maybe that's what he meant by it looked different than other positives. Carol didn't seem phased by it.

"Then you have some time. I just wouldn't wait too long."

"I know." She kissed my forehead, then pressed her own to mine.

Daryl returned an hour later and we hit the road. Rick, Michonne, Tyreese and Glenn rode with Noah. They would be the team to go in first and check everything out. The rest of us would wait. Maggie went in an Suv with Abrahams group. The rest of us piled into a van. Daryl drove, Carol riding shotgun, in charge of the radio. Carl and I had Judith's basket between the two of us. Sasha sat near the back, quiet as the grave.

Carol had suggested that she sit with Daryl so I wouldn't feel overly pressured by what I knew. Told me that being around Judith a little more, might help embolden me to tell him.

The trip would probably take us a week, pass through two states, five hundred miles and lord knows how many walkers. We stocked up on fuel before we took off, to limit our stops to every four hours. We would get out, stretch, relieve ourselves then we would be on the way again.

It was day six now and we had just pulled over to do a fuel run. I was going to stay behind with Michonne to stay with the kids and Carol, who still felt like shit. Honestly I was no better. I leaned against the side of the van, sick as could be. I didn't think morning sickness started this early but since I couldn't get the flu and I had been very careful with what I ate, I wasn't sure what else it could be. My concussion had stopped being an issue days ago.

"You look really pale, Gwen." Michonne commented, coming over to me.

"Don't feel so hot. Maybe I ate something funky, or motion sickness." She didn't buy it.

"Somethings up with you. Is it your dad? Did something happen with Daryl?" I shook my head.

"No other than I haven't really spoken to him since we left Atlanta." I clapped a hand over my mouth, my stomach churning. I walked over to the side of the road, reaching the foliage with time enough to empty the contents of my stomach. I stood there, my hands on my knees.

"Gwen, what is it really?" She was right behind me, her voice telling me that she already had a feeling she knew what was wrong with a superhuman who didn't get sick.

"It's exactly what it looks like. I don't get sick, remember." She came over and pulled me up.

"What are you saying Gwen?" Her eyes were stormy and a little sad, but I saw the spark of excitement there.

"No one besides you and Carol know. I want to keep it that way for now." She nodded, her face serious, waiting for me to say it. I groaned, "Seems like my vision's all seem to come true, even the good ones. Like babies with purple eyes, who grow up to be the spitting image of their father." She smiled, letting me get away with not saying the actual word. She was hugging me, a tear dropped onto my shoulder. She sniffed and pulled away.

"That's... It's up to you when you want to tell people. When you're ready."

"Pfft, yeah whenever that is." She hugged me gently,and I squished her back, "Don't worry I'm not going to break." she chuckled and hugged me tighter, then released me.

"I'm happy for you both. I also had a child…" She told me about Andre and how she kept his father and her friend on chains after they became walkers. She had lost her son in the same attack. She had made it so they couldn't bite or scratch. They had become shields for her, protected her and Andrea that whole first winter.

"Ah so that's where Andrea learned that trick. She had a walker on a stick that day she came to warn us about the Governor." I sighed, "How old was he?" her eyes were incredibly sad as she sighed.

"Three. What do you mean about your visions?"

"The day that you came to the prison, I told you I had a dream about you right?" She nodded, "We were somewhere safe. It was almost like the world wasn't how it is now. It was a normal neighborhood, people in the streets. You were there and so was Daryl. You were holding a baby boy with purple eyes. That is why I trusted you from the moment you brought that baby formula. Why I stuck up for you. I knew that someday you would hold my child and we would be safe." There were tears in her eyes as she listened.

"I hope that day will come." The others had started to return. Daryl emerged from the greenery. Michonned looked at me and then at him a big smile on her face then walked back to her car.

"What was that 'bout?" He asked. I just shrugged.

"Oh I almost forgot." Hell I had forgotten. I got into the van grabbing the small package from my dad out of my coat. Daryl was putting fuel in the van when I returned.

"Joel, he wanted me to give you this." I handed over the small parcel. He flipped it over in his hands.

"'Do not open near Gwen.'" he read my father's handwritten note, "I wonder what it is." He shook it ever so softly, he handed me the can and walked back into the forest. He returned several minutes later, an unreadable expression on his face.

"What was it?"

"A surprise. You'll find out eventually." he took the gas can back, "Get in, sounds like lil ass kicker's givin Carl issues." She had started to wail, Carl shushing her. Climbing in the van I crouched, walking over to him.

"I'm not sure what it is she wants." I put my hands out for her and he gladly handed her over. I walked back out shielding her little eyes from the sun. She hiccuped a few times then let out a sigh, leaning her little head against my shoulder.

"Just wanted a little sunlight huh? Get out of that musty old car that smells like Daryl's socks." My partner grunted, turning to see him looking at me. I smiled at him softly, then turned my attention back to Judith. I bounced her on my hip a bit, eliciting a little giggle from her. Then I wasn't holding her anymore. He had dark hair, the tresses soft and fine. His cheeks were chubby just like the little fingers he was sticking in his mouth. His other little cubby hand had tiny little claws. And those yes, my eyes, looking back at me, with an intelligence that caught me off guard... I blinked and I was looking at Judith again.

"Gwen? Ya alright?" Daryl had noticed me just staring at her. I blinked a couple more times.

"Yeah...yeah I'm good." I walked over to him, Judith cooing when she saw him. He kissed her head, tickling her little belly, making the child giggle. I moved Judith so that I could lean forward to kiss Daryl. This is the most interaction we had in days, and much to my dismay he pulled away almost immediately.

"I love you…" I set my hand on his cheek, he covered it with his own

"I know…."

"Okay Han Solo." His mouth twitched in amusement, then he kissed my forehead.

"I love you. C'mon time to go." I got back in the van, letting Judith sit between my legs on a blanket till she got sleepy. She slumped against my thigh after about an hour, so I picked her up and laid her back down in her basket.

"What was the matter with her?" Carl asked quietly, not wanting to wake her back up.

"She was just cranky. Wanted to get out of the car." Her brother chuckled.

"Who would have thunk?".

It was on day fourteen of our journey that I finally had to make Daryl, pull over, unable to wait till the next stop.

"Daryl…I need to get out." Carol saw my face, and the shade of green it was.

"You should pull over." She agreed. Daryl looked back at me in the rearview and headed to the shoulder.

"Rick." Carol spoke into the radio.

"Yup."

"Making a quick stop."

"Alright ten minutes everybody." As soon as the van stopped I was out but I made it about ten feet, leaned against a tree and let it all out. I was standing there spitting when I saw a water skin out of the corner of my eye.

"Here." Carol was handing the item to me, I took it, washing the taste of puke out of my mouth.

"Man you've got it bad huh?" My groan made her chuckle in amusement.

"What am I supposed to tell him?"

"The truth?" She offered. I narrowed my eyes at her letting out a heavy sigh.

"Well yes…"

"Tell me what?" Daryl was leaning against the van.

"Oh rats." I grumbled. I pinched the bridge of my nose. Carol walked back to the van and got in, "Traitor." I called after her.

"Uh...well back in Atlanta. My dad ran some tests on my blood. Turns out I can get sick. At least a certain strain of bacteria. I must have ingested it at some point, hence the upchuck."

"Huh." He wasn't buying it, but instead of prying he just pushed off the van, "Ya okay to go now?" I nodded

Carl and Sasha were looking at me expecantaly, when I climbed back in. Daryl got in and started the car. The others started down the road.

"What was that about?" Sasha asked.

"Just something I ate, I think." Carol gave me a look, like I had just wasted a perfect opportunity to tell Daryl out there. I just shrugged at her.

Early day sixteen we hit the Virginia border. We drove for several hours before Rick's voice came over the radio.

"Hey Carol."

"I'm here." She answered.

"We're halfway there. Just wanted to check the range."

She looked in her rear view for the other vehicle. Rick and the others had already split off to go to Noah's community.

"Everybody's holding tight. We've made it five hundred miles. Maybe this can be the easy part." She met my eyes in the rear view.

"Got to think we're due." the radio hissed, "Give us twenty minutes to check in."

"We don't hear from you, we'll come looking." She released the button.

"Copy that."

Daryl pulled off at the designated distance from the community. We found an area that was relatively clear. Daryl and Carol got out and cleared the remaining walkers. Daryl stuck his head back inside.

"It's clear."

I stretched my legs, so ready to be done in the car. Daryl walked by me then continued on. I groaned and walked over to where Carol sat.

"Why didn't you tell him?" She asked finally.

"It's not the right time. He can barely look at anyone, he hardly speaks when spoken to and not even then."

"Have you been taking your vitamins?" Carol asked.

"Yeah." she nodded.

"Good. Since he doesn't know, I'm going to be the one deciding if you come with us on runs and such okay?" I pouted, "Gwen." I let out a defeated sigh.

"Alright. Just remember I went through a windshield and nothing happened to him so scavenging through cars and random buildings is not going to do much. It's still early."

"Fine but you have to promise that if one of us tells you to stay put you will, okay?" I nodded.

"The others might take notice." I told her, Carol shrugged.

"Maybe it will light a fire under your ass." she slapped my butt.

"Ugh, stop." I groaned pushing her half heartedly.

After the check in we waited several hours for another. The next contact received, Rick sounded... strained.

"Carol...I need to speak with Sasha." She looked at me then handed the radio over to Sasha.

"It's me Rick." She released the button and there was silence.

"Sasha...Ty...he was bit. We tried-" the static hissed, "-didn't make it."

"Rick repeat that?" She said, her voice breaking.

"Sasha, Tyreese is gone." She let the radio tumble out of her hand. "We're on our way to your twenty." Sasha rose and walked out into the forest. Carol retrieved the radio.

"This is Carol." she was crying, "Copy that." I put my head in my hands.

Rick dug his grave himself, laying the big man in it. They had tried to cut off his arm but he had died regardless. They had gone to Noah's house and one of Noah's little brothers had bit him. The community had been attacked by another group, burnt bodies in the middle of yards.

Father Gabriel led Ty's funeral. Each of us taking turns shoveling dirt into the grave as he gave his sermon.

"'We look not at what can be seen, but we look at what cannot be seen. What we can see is temporary, but what cannot be seen is eternal. For we know that if the earthly tent we live in is destroyed, we have a building from God, a house not made from hands, eternal in the heavens." Sasha went last and we let her have her privacy. Rick stayed so that he could bury the man the rest of the way.

It had decided to go the rest of the way to DC to see if this infrastructure was a real thing. After forty miles we ran out of food and most of our fuel and water.

"Ya stay here with the kids. Conserve yer energy." Daryl told me as he prepared to head out with Maggie and Sasha.

"Daryl but with my nose-" he gave me a look, which reminded me of the promise I had made Carol, "Alright. Just be careful." He nodded.

"Always am."

While they were gone I wandered a small distance, the vehicles always in view. I found a few clumps of dandelions. I pulled them up by the root and headed back over to the van. I handed a couple to Carl.

"Here. It will help fill yer belly and quench yer thirst." he took them from me and started to eat them.

"They're pretty bitter." He scrunched up his notes.

"Yeah." I chewed some into cud and then spat it into my hand.

"Alright honey, I know this ain't no pureade squash." She made a face at me as I fed her the dandelions, but she was hungry enough that she swallowed it on her own. It was just us for about a day, then Rick's group returned.

"Anything?" I asked him, handing him some dandelions. He took them giving me a look, "Eat them. Rick, I have read several books, cover to cover on edible wild plants. Just eat 'em." he did as I instructed, shaking his head.

"No, everything is dry as bone. We're all going to have to pile in here and try to see how far we get. Jeeze these are bitter." Throughout the day the others returned. Daryl's group was last.

I was munching on a dandelion when he reached me. I handed him a couple, but he pushed them back in my direction.

"Don't make me chew one to cud and feed you like I have to do with Judith." I warned. He huffed but only took one, slowly chewing on the plant. It was an uncomfortable ride with every one squished in the van. I sat between Daryl's legs, leaning against his chest. Carol was across from me, our legs over lapping. I slept for a little but the sound of the engine failing pulled my eyes open.

"It's out, just like the other one." Abraham told Rick.

"Well, then we walk from here."

Rick stopped me a moment as Daryl walked away.

"Is he talking to you at all?" He asked. I shook my head.

"Very little and then it's back to radio silence." He shook his head, "Beth's death was hard on him and I don't think he's had the time to properly grieve, just like Maggie." Rick nodded then headed to catch up with Daryl. I adjusted my bow on my shoulder and followed after.

"How are you feeling?" Michonne asked me as we brought up the rear, Sasha just a bit ahead of us.

"Like crud. My stomach won't stop growling but I'm nauseous at the same time. To boot Daryl still won't talk to anyone. On top of that we just lost Ty."

"Yeah, I've been talking at him a lot the last couple days."

About an hour in, Daryl announced that he was gonna go look around in the forest.

"I'll come with." Carol offered.

"I got it." He started to brush her off.

"Are you gonna stop me?" He didn't and she followed him off into the woods.

I ended up around the center of the group, my thoughts trailing off. Carol came back a little later and walked over to me, letting out a sigh, tears rimmed her eyes.

"He's not letting himself feel her death, he's forcing himself not to grieve." I sighed.

"This is why I haven't told him…" She shook her head in protest.

"Maybe it would help."

"Or maybe it will just make things worse!" I snapped. Her hurt expression made me sigh, "Sorry." She just brushed it off. Up ahead, there was a bridge over a chasm in the ground. Rick whistled to us, bringing us to a halt. The walkers who had been following us we're starting to get too close, to just ignore any longer.

"Okay so here's the plan." Rick started, "We lead them over to us then let them fall down into the chasm. Try to conserve your energy, avoid attacking. Let them use their own momentum to go down into the hole, okay? Abraham, Sasha and Maggie you will get one side, Michonne, Glenn and I will get the other. The rest of you cross the bridge, Gwen, Carol keep an eye out on your side. If any come out of the woods, use the same technique." We nodded and crossed the bridge with the others.

The plan was working for a while but then Sasha pulled her knife, going at the walkers. I shook my head as I watched her grapple with them, blinded by rage. Michonne was trying to get her to stop. I saw Sasha slash Abraham in the process. Eventually Michonne pushed Sasha to the ground. Rick on the other hand was struggling with two walkers. One almost had its mouth around his arm. Daryl emerged from the forest just in time to throw the creature off, the corpse tumbling into the Chasm. Sasha was back up squaring off to Michonne. They stood there for several moments before Sasha sheathed her blade and started across the bridge.

The group continued down the road.

"Dad, look." Carl announced. I had been walking up next to Carol, Daryl just ahead of us. There were few cars on the road.

"I'm going into the woods, circle back." Daryl said.

"May I come with?" Carol asked."

"No," he barked, then added in a gentler tone, "No, just me." Carol looked like she was over having the two of us shout at her when all she was doing was trying to help. When he was gone we started rummaging through the cars to see if we could find anything. Nothing found, we pressed on a little further. Rick pulled over in some shade.

"Let's rest here till Daryl comes back." The others settled down and I went into the woods. The meager amount of food in my stomach came back up. I sighed, knowing that this was not going to help my dehydration. I took a few breaths trying to calm my uneasy stomach. I put my hand over my stomach.

"Work with me little dude. I'm tryin' here." I whispered. I headed back to the others right as Daryl came back. The sound of thunder rumbling catching my attention. I could smell rain coming our way. Please hurry.

There was a growling from across the street. Four stray dogs came out teeth bared and barking at us. I growled taking a step forward, my hackles raised. The first dog went down, then the next, Sasha taking them out with her silenced rifle.

Rick grabbed some sticks, Daryl already getting to work skinning and cleaning the meat. My stomach rumbled, my very dry mouth starting to water. Well, no time to think about fido when you're starving. Daryl cooked a few pieces, handing them to me first then making some for himself. The others looked hesitant but meat was meat.

When the group got started again we were even slower than before. Of course now I was struggling to keep the dog meat down.

"Here." Carol said, handing me the last bit of water in her bottle, "You look like your meal is about to come back up. You need to drink this." She argued when I tried to protest.

"Take it Gwen." Daryl said from behind me. I huffed and took the water. I sipped slowly leaving a little left for her.

"Here, there's a little left for later." She nodded and took the bottle.

"Tell 'em I went looking for water." Daryl told Abraham and he slipped into the woods. I took a deep breath, trying to ignore how much I just wanted him to talk to me, other than ordering me to do something.

He had been gone a while.

"Carol...I'm going after him."

"I don't thin-" I glared at her. I was tired of her telling me what was best for me, for Daryl. I knew she cared about us but I was over being powerless to help him or help myself, "I'll let them know." She said and I stepped into the woods.

I didn't have to go far before I heard him. He was crying. I felt tears prick my own eyes. Moving closer, I saw him sitting, his back against a tree. There was a little barn just a couple hundred yards from him. I sat there until he stopped crying, he wiped his face taking a few shaky breaths then stood up brushing off his pants. I moved then, snapping a twig beneath my foot. His head shot around, the crossbow at the ready. He lowered it when I stepped out from behind the tree.

"Jesus Gwen. Why'd ya follow me?" He growled.

"'Cause I'm worried about ya!" I growled back, "Three weeks and ya have spoken maybe three sentences to me. Barely spoken to the others. I know yer hurtin', I know what she meant to ya. What she meant to all of us. Don't shut me out, please…" Angry tears dripped down my face, leaving tracks in the dirt. I heard him sniff. Tears had started down his face again. He walked over to me and pulled me to him, burying his face in the crook of my neck. I rubbed his back as he cried. More thunder rolled. He let out a deep breath and pulled back looking up at the sky.

"Storm's comin'." He kissed my forehead, "C'mon, we should get back."

Rick came over to us when we stepped out onto the road, handing us a piece of paper. It had, "From a Friend" scrawled on it. There were jugs and bottles of water in the middle of the road, everyone circled around it, waiting. Daryl immediately took his crossbow off his shoulder looking around. We were being watched, followed.

"What else are we going to do?" Tara asked, despair in her voice.

"Not this." Rick answered, "We don't know who left it."

"If that's a trap, we already happen to be in it." Eugene pointed out, "But I, for one, would like to think it is indeed from a friend."

"What if it isn't. They put something in it?" Carol pointed out. Eugene came forward grabbing a bottle.

"Eugene." Rosita scolded.

"What are you doing dude?" Tara worried.

"Quality assurance." He answered opening the bottle and putting it up to his lips. Abraham strode forward and smacked the bottle out of his hands. He may not be the scientist the soldier believed but he still had the drive to protect him. Abraham stepped back. Eugene's tiny act of bravery added a little to his favor. It was the most daring I had ever seen him act.

"We can't." Rick reiterated. We all just stood there looking at each other. The sky rumbled once more, a little closer this time. We looked up just in time for the rain to begin to pour. While others rejoiced, few stood there eyes distant as the rain pelted them, Daryl was one of them, his eyes still haunted.

"Everyone get the bags. Anything you can find." Rick instructed, trying to catch the precious water. Judith began to cry as the thunder continued to boom. Wonderful as the rain was we needed to get out of this storm. My animal instincts were prickling. It wasn't wise to get caught out in this storm.

"We need to keep moving!" Rick instructed the others. I grabbed Daryl's hand remembering where we just were.

"There's a barn!" Daryl yelled over the storm.

"What?" Rick didn't hear him.

"There's a barn!" He yelled again.

"Where?" Daryl and I hurriedly led the others back to the barn. Rick went in first, Carol, Daryl, Maggie and Glenn backing him up. Maggie stopped just inside the door looking around, no doubt thinking about the barn she grew up by, the barn we burnt to the ground as we fled the Farm all that time ago. The Farm felt so far away now.

There was only one walker, Maggie taking care of it. Once the rest of the barn had been checked we piled in. Daryl started a fire, or attempted to at least. It was a tiny thing more for light than warmth. Glenn, Carol, Rick Daryl and I sat around it, Carl and Judith curled up already asleep. Michonne looked at me, a small grin on your face.

"You're steaming, Gwen." I snorted when i saw the little trendles of steam coming off my damp clothes.

"Yeah not surprised. My body temperature is a lot higher than all you normal people." I shrugged, "Maybe that means my clothes will dry faster." Eventually Daryl gave up trying to get the fire to grow and threw down the stick.

"I'll try." Glenn offered.

"No, too wet." Daryl responded, sitting back next to me. Rick looked over at his children, worry on his face.

"He's gonna be okay." Carol reassured him, "He bounces back more than any of us do."

"I used to feel sorry for kids that have to grow up now. In this." Rick started, "But I think I got it wrong. Growing up is getting used to the world. This is easier for them."

"This isn't the world." Michonne urged, "This isn't it."

"It might be." Glenn said, "It might."

"That's giving up." Michonne returned, the more optimistic of us.

"It's reality."

"Until we see otherwise, this is what we have to live with." Rick said in response. He looked at us all, then down at the ground, "When I was a kid...I asked my grandpa one time if he ever killed any Germans in the war. He wouldn't answer. He said that was grown-up stuff, so...so I asked if the Germans ever tried to kill him. But he got real quiet." Rick paused, thinking back to that conversation all those years ago, "Said he was dead the minute he stepped into enemy territory. Every day he woke up and told himself 'Rest in peace. Now get up and go to war.'. Then after a few years of pretending he was dead...he made it out alive. That's the trick of it, I think. We do what we need to do and then we get to live." But did we?, "But no matter what we find in DC, I know we'll be okay. Because this is how we survive. We tell ourselves...that we are the walking dead." I shivered, his words chilling me.

"We ain't them." Daryl said, leaning forward to fuss with some twigs.

"We're not them," Rick leaned forward to look at Daryl, "Hey." Daryl looked at his best friend, "We're not." The hunter stood, looking down.

"We ain't them." He grabbed his crossbow and walked to the door to stand guard. I rested my head on my knees, sharing a look with Glenn, who was going through a similar time with Maggie. He offered me a soft smile and a nod of understanding.

The winds were getting worse, the doors slamming together. Then I heard Daryl struggling. I whipped my head around to see Maggie and Sasha were on either side of him pressing the doors shut, the snarling of the walkers just beyond. I lept to my feet running over to help, throwing my weight into it. Between the walkers pressing against the doors and the wind, it was like we were fighting a losing battle. The others followed, each pressing against the doors or against someone already at the door, trying to hold back the fury.

It felt like hours, standing there mashed together, as the typhoon ripped through the area. But it had to only be minutes, then the worst of it had passed. The doors stilled. The back of the group backed up first. Daryl pulled the chain tighter getting the lock we had on it reattached. The others began to break off collapsing in exhaustion. Daryl wandered to the back of the barn sitting with his back to the wall.

I followed him. He started to tell me no but I just glared at him.

"I am going to sleep, and it's going to be right next to you. Capish?" He sighed, but didn't protest. I laid down next to him using my bag as a pillow. I felt his hand on my back, his thumb moving restlessly in little circles. Sleep was not far off for me.

The storm had passed and the sun had risen by the time I woke. I was facing away from Daryl on my stomach and I heard someone sit down on his other side.

"You should get some sleep." Maggie told him.

"Yeah."

"It's okay to rest now." There was a long pause, then Daryl spoke again, his voice traveling in the direction where I had seen Sasha lay down.

"He was tough." They were referring to Tyreese/

"He was." Maggie responded.

"So was she." Beth… "She didn't know it, but she was." Daryl told her. Maggie scoffed, remembering her little sister. I felt him pick up the music box Carl had found Maggie while salvaging.

"The gearbox had some grit in it."

"Thank you." She got up and I could hear Daryl removing his jacket. He laid down and pulled me to him pressing his nose to the curve of my neck. I shivered as his breath licked across my skin. He kissed the same place, then nudged my head forward so he could share my makeshift pillow. I brought his hand to my face and placed a kiss on his knuckles.

We rested there like that for a little while until the others began to stir. I rolled over to look at him, and I could see that some of the darkness in his eyes had started to lift. I leaned forward and kissed the end of his nose offering him a soft smile.

Please whoever you are up there watching over me, please, please help us get through this.