A/N for 2020-08-12: As always, my thanks to Chayasara for editing.
- Erin
"Wake up, my Bella. It is time for you to eat."
Bella didn't open her eyes for a moment. She remembered with great clarity the decision she'd made the night before. But she had promised herself she would eat today, and so she opened them, blinking against the dull light of a cloudy day. This made tears well up in her eyes. She'd so hoped to see the sun, just one more time. Blinking against her watering eyes, she sat up partway, resigned to her last day being sunless.
But it is the last, she told herself, and there was great peace in this decision. Yes, the last.
Demetri sat beside her, a tray in his hands. The habitual thermos of coffee rested on it, two warm cornetti on an adjacent plate. She could not have picked a better last breakfast.
Her aching arms finished pushing her upwards to a sitting position. She tried very hard not to wince. Sitting was painful. "Thank you," she said, smiling with deception she thought even the Cullens would find impressive.
"You are more yourself today," Demetri said, smiling. He looked smugly pleased.
And for a few more hours, Bella determined she could endure his smug, self-centred, condescending, and patronizing attention because it would be the last day she had to submit herself to it.
"Will you study this morning?" he asked. He brushed the bruise at her wrist with his finger, frowning.
She nodded, focusing on the bite of pastry in her mouth. It was so, so good. Unlike him.
"I'm sorry, but I shall not be able to take you for dinner tonight. I'll be away on business until the early hours tomorrow." His hand pushed up the sleeve of her gown, and she stopped moving. He repeated the action on the other side, turning her arm slightly as he looked for bruises. There were none there. Apparently satisfied by this cursory examination, he let the sleeves fall and leaned back.
Bella made herself continue chewing, suppressing a shudder. She would not be forced to endure more physical inspection or witness the no-doubt successful end of his "business." "Okay," she said softly, realizing his absence would enable her plans.
"But I look forward to returning to you shortly as I look forward to you being well."
The hand she had come to dread brushed down her face and her ribs, grazing her breast, finally resting on her hip. "You will enjoy our lovemaking when you are better."
Her bite of pastry felt like it had stopped halfway to her stomach. She reached for the glass of water by the bed.
Today, she told herself. Today. She would escape today.
As always, neither her assent nor acknowledgement were required for his departure.
She abandoned the rest of her breakfast, opting to stand under the weak spray of hot water that passed for a shower, washing and wishing she had some sweet scent to hold onto. She added buying flowers or perfume to her list of last tasks.
At the wardrobe, she stood for some time, staring at the choices it offered. What do you wear for your last day on earth?
"Things that make you happy," she murmured. She chose the blue blouse that flirted with tiny topaz flowers at its hem, along with the simple capris and a jacket that had seen so much wear in the tiny cafés around Volterra. She still loved the colour of Edward's eyes even though they had stopped loving her.
Walking anything more than a short distance proved to be painful, and after making her way to the rotunda outside her room, Bella knew that she would not be able to venture much farther than the Volturi's front door. So she did, smelling the air and hoping for more than the cloud-muted sun. A few familiar trees poked their heads above the city walls, and she wished each of them farewell.
She spent the morning in bed drafting her last three pieces of correspondence to her mother, her father, and Jacob. She would send them after she took the pills when she was sure they were starting to take effect.
There had been the suggestion of tears when she began to write, but it was more her brain than her heart that made these last missives, the cold logic of her release clear before her.
When the door opened, she looked up with resentment to see who had interrupted her final pieces of work. There was no room for fear anymore. She would be beyond the clutch of anyone or anything soon enough.
"Bella?"
Her fingers paused over the laptop keyboard, half-perched to strike another letter, mind wrestling with the identification her whole self had made. For a brief moment, she wondered if he was even corporeal, but it was only briefly.
"We can leave, but we need to leave now," Edward said. His voice shook with some urgency she didn't understand.
She stared at him. His words had registered, but they were simply too impossible to be real. What was this then, some game? Some testing Demetri had devised in his absence?
She had her way home. Her gaze sought the bedside table. Yes, the pills were there. With that salient fact confirmed, she turned her eyes back to the computer screen.
"Bella." His voice was louder now, some earnest emotion there. Then his hand was on her shoulder.
"Don't touch me!" She dropped the laptop onto the bedspread and then scrambled off the mattress, her sore body protesting the abrupt series of movements.
Her reptilian brain assured her that she didn't have to be touched by one of them again.
They were face to face, the bed between them, Edward's eyes full of confusion and something like pain.
Of course, she thought. It would be painful for him to be here. Demetri would have deliberately chosen Edward to administer this test of her loyalty.
But it will be over soon, she thought.
Edward shook his head slightly. "No," he said. He seemed angry.
About what or to whom he was speaking, Bella wasn't sure.
"We're going." This sounded more like a command.
She didn't want to go anywhere. Not in that sense.
Edward's voice was low and urgent when he spoke next. "Alice and Jasper have come here and . . . given themselves up so that we can leave, Bella. If we stay, we make their sacrifice for nothing, and we won't have the choice again."
Still, she didn't move, paralyzed by fear that any kind of reaction to him would rob her of her planned—her guaranteed—freedom. This must be some sort of trick.
"Please," Edward said, holding out his hand. "Come with me. Alice is here waiting to see you."
She thought of Alice's last words to her: We will never abandon you. Yet, Bella had more reasons to doubt than to believe since the day she heard Alice utter those words.
Still, Alice had returned for her in Forks. Alice had helped her save Edward—but for what? she asked herself. Even so, it was on Alice's name that a tiny and most dangerous trace of hope hooked itself.
This is a trick, though, surely. Don't be stupid!
Bella made herself look at Edward, this too a tenuous—or foolish—act of faith. His eyes were a dirty amber, the colour of looming hunger. At least, she told herself, he had retained that part of himself in this ugly place. If this wasn't some trick, he might someday go home without shame. He would have his family. Someday.
Edward gestured to the door. "Quickly, please. If there's anything you want to take with you, get it now."
He was determined with his mission, then. Perhaps he feared displeasing Aro by not testing her thoroughly.
She wanted to look towards the pills but instead eyed the wardrobe. What she needed was only a few moments alone. "I just need to change."
"I'll be right outside the door." He didn't break eye contact for the first few steps, walking towards the entrance of her room.
Palming the vial of pills silently, Bella then opened the wardrobe, shuffling through the hangers for good measure and pulling off a shirt and a pair of trousers. In the bathroom she poured herself a glass of water and then tried to open the small plastic container. The lid was just coming off when the door opened and the container was snatched from her hand. The pills scattered as Edward threw the vial away from her.
His hand clamped around her wrist. "No. You will not do this to yourself."
Bella quailed against his grip which while not violent itself, reminded her of the violence that was still fresh on her flesh.
When he spoke, it was with a perturbing calm. "Bella, you're coming with me." He did not say where, and she did not imagine that this absence of information was good.
They were going to stop her. He was going to stop her!
"No!" she said, trying to pull away, her other hand reaching for the pills. "No!"
The repeated word echoed down the hallway as Edward picked her up, his arms a cold and unwanted restraint. She closed her eyes, knowing her struggle was useless, letting her body go slack. Knowing their arrival in the throne room was imminent, she tried to tell herself it didn't matter, to prepare herself for whatever was going to happen. It would either be an immediate death, or a more drawn-out death as a monster among monsters.
"Bella?" Alice's voice asked.
Alice?
Edward's hands slowly released her, and she found her feet, wobbling like a kitten as she blinked to find Alice and Jasper wearing—Oh God, she thought—wearing the grey mantle of the Volturi.
And then that dangerous hope flickered like a flame. If they were here, was it true? Were they leaving? She felt guilty just for thinking it. But this was no trick. They were not in the throne room but the dimly lit parkade she'd been in before. She looked at Edward, who had stepped back, giving her space.
"We were allowed to say goodbye," Alice said softly.
Bella stood frozen to the spot. She watched Alice and Jasper embrace Edward in turn. Then the pair looked at Bella but did not attempt to move near her.
"You're going to be okay, Bella," Alice said. "You're going home. But you should go now, before . . ." She glanced upwards and then to Edward, eyeing him meaningfully. "You should go now, just to be safe." When Alice looked back at Bella, it was with apology in her face. "I love you like a sister, Bella. I'm so sorry we couldn't stop—I'm sorry." Bella caught the look Edward was giving his sister. It was pained, several emotions twisting together on his face.
"We really do need to leave now," Edward said softly, almost apologetically. "Bella, this way." He had stepped closer but not so enough that he might be able to touch her. He pointed towards the cars. His body was tense with a kind of anxiety she understood too well.
It was like walking under water, first one step, then another as she followed him towards a vehicle.
"Here," Edward said. He held the door open to a bright yellow car. Was it—?
"Alice said you would recognize the car."
She did. It was the same one, or nearly the same one, they'd arrived in. Such symmetry.
Was she really going home?
Home?
Never had home been a possibility, and now she could hardly credit it with belief. But she was in a car, with Edward. She watched him start it, and then the blackness of the parking garage receded into the dull light of day. When they passed through the city gates, she realized she'd been breathing in tiny, shallow pants. With each passing mile, that tightness lessened until she began to believe that she might have indeed escaped.
DISCLAIMER: S. Meyer owns Twilight. No copyright infringement intended.