New Zealand looked at the book, 'This one's about 'Merica.'

America scowled, 'Don't call me that!'

New Zealand ignored him,

Dear Diary,

America's joined the war. He says that he'll save us all, but he's too late.

America looked guilty, 'I tried to join earlier. But my boss didn't want me to get involved.'

Australia shrugged, 'It wasn't your fight.'

'But maybe if I'd joined earlier, the war would have been over sooner.' Said America

'If you had not joined when you did, it would have dragged on longer than it did.' Said England, patting America's shoulder.

New Zealand resumed reading, earning a glare from Hungary for interrupting the "yaoi moment".

Too late for Jeanne, too late for Uncle France, too late for Lia and too late for me.

America looked at the floor, 'I'm sorry.'

Australia hugged her former brother, 'It's okay… Alfie.'

America looked jubilant, 'You haven't called me that since I left!'

Australia shrugged, 'You weren't my brother when you left.'

America looks down, 'What do you mean?'

'My brother wouldn't have left his father in his time of need.' Says Australia, 'You knew that the only reason that Mum was taxin' you was 'cause Francey-pants over there was in a war with him and he needed the extra money.'

America shrugged, 'My people were angry, so I was angry. I didn't have any control over it.'

Australia glares at him, 'That's bullshit and you know it.' She cuffs him over the head, 'Me and Mum's people have a yearly tradition of basically declarin' war on each other but me and Mum never let that hurt us!'*

Many nations looked confused, 'What do you mean, yearly tradition of declaring war?' asked Romano.

The countries that were in the commonwealth of England looked appalled, 'Whaddya mean, what tradition!' yells New Zealand, 'Do ya mean to tell me that you've never heard of the ashes!?'

Italy looks confused, 'Why do you have ashes? Do you need to learn about ashes?'

New Zealand and Australia turned purple, 'The ashes are only the single greatest sportin' event in the year!'

England and Turkey gently pulled New Zealand and Australia away from Italy, who was frantically trying to surrender.

England took a deep breath, 'The Ashes are annual cricket matches between Australia and I.'

Germany looked confused, 'Why are they called the Ashes?'

England winced, 'It is a funny story.'

Australia grinned, 'Basically, after my team thoroughly trounced Mum's team, someone wrote an obituary sayin' that English cricket has died and it's ashes given to me.'

England looked chidingly at Australia, 'Yes. Then the next year the captain of my cricket team said in an interview that he was going to reclaim the ashes from Australia.'

'The name stuck, so now the competition is called the Ashes.' Added New Zealand, 'Lia wins pretty much every year and Mum sulks.'

*This is pretty much what happened. Australians have a grand history of beating the English in sports they invented.