Chapter 20

"Your son is insisting on wearing a waistcoat," Severus told Harry as he entered their bedroom, finding Harry rifling through the wardrobe.

"He hasn't got a waistcoat."

"I've been instructed to transfigure one for him. He's taking this ceremony business very seriously. I think he has something of a romantic streak."

Harry smiled as he extracted his beautifully-tailored grey robes and said, "Inherited from you, no doubt."

"I can be romantic when the occasion calls for it," Severus said, taking the robes from Harry and laying them on the bed before wrapping the man up in his arms.

"It does your reputation no good to admit such things," Harry said with a grin as he pulled himself close.

"My reputation was ruined when I decided to hitch myself to you."

"You can always change your mind, kick me to the curb and strike out on your own."

Severus raised an eyebrow as he allowed his hands to rove over Harry's body, across the subtle play of muscles until they lightly cupped the man's pert backside. "I believe the benefits outweigh the drawbacks," he said with a drawl.

Harry laughed and said, "Romantic indeed."

Severus lowered his head and met Harry in a kiss as the man pulled his body flush against Severus'. Kissing Harry was nothing short of perfection and Severus was only too happy to lose himself in the blissful experience as often as possible. His husband was a beautiful man and every part of Severus ached to touch him.

"I believe I'll stick our marriage out for a little while yet," Severus said with a smile as he moved to torment the skin behind Harry's ear.

He knew, of course, the meaning behind his words. They were going to reaffirm their vows to one another after a turbulent few months, after Harry had spent all that time wondering whether or not he would still have a marriage at the end of it. They had both made their peace with the fact that Severus might never recover all his memories but their marriage would survive and that was the important thing.

"Pa! Have you made me a waistcoat yet?" Gabe shouted down the hallway and Severus and Harry broke apart with a smile.

"Your son is awfully demanding," Severus told him with a smirk.

"My heart bleeds for you."

"Dad! Pa! Would you two put each other down? I want my waistcoat!" Gabe said, appearing in the doorway with his hands on his hips. "Everyone will be here in an hour, you haven't got time to get all mushy."

Severus laughed, feeling a surge of affection for his son. As if his place could ever be anywhere but here with him and Harry. "It's our anniversary," he told Gabe, "we're allowed to be mushy."

"You're always mushy," Gabe corrected with an eye roll. "Is anyone going to help me with my waistcoat or what?"

"Come on, I'll sort you out," Harry said, disentangling himself from Severus. "And you," he said to his husband, "need to decide which robes you're wearing."

He placed a kiss to the end of Severus' nose and escorted Gabe out of the room while their son gave very specific instructions about how his waistcoat should look. Severus smiled and shook his head, taking a seat on the edge of the bed. He could just picture Gabe as an adult and he couldn't wait to meet the man his son would become.

He was about to follow Harry's instruction and choose which robes to wear for the renewal ceremony when a wave of nausea hit him. His head began to throb and he knew what was coming, although it didn't lessen the pain. He evened out his breathing and closed his eyes, accepting what was happening. He wanted his memories back, wanted to know everything about his life with the man he loved.

~*~ Dumbledore's cottage very quickly became home and Severus found himself falling into domesticity with Harry very easily. They were both in need of time away from the world and they needed the opportunity to explore what they meant to one another.

Severus knew exactly what Harry meant to him. The man had become his entire world and he couldn't remember a time before his thoughts had been governed by him. Since they had made love for the first time all those thoughts and feelings had been heightened and Severus almost felt himself consumed by how powerful it was.

He glanced up from his book to sneak a glance across at Harry who was sitting on the sofa, balancing a sketchbook on his knees. He had taken to drawing in the afternoons and Severus loved to watch him. The man's expression while he concentrated and created was utterly beautiful and Severus allowed himself to indulge in watching him.

"Am I that interesting?" Harry asked with a smile as he continued to sketch.

"Very," Severus answered, unashamed at being caught out.

"Didn't get enough of me this morning?" Harry asked coyly and Severus shook his head with a smile.

The last few weeks had been an earnest exploration of their physical relationship, now they were allowed to have one, and Severus hadn't found it wanting. Harry was a beautifully sensual creature and Severus loved every second that he spent wringing pleasure from him. To be able to explore it with no pressure from the outside world was a gift indeed and Severus treasured every moment of it.

"Want to see what I'm drawing?" Harry asked, looking up at him with a wicked smile.

"Will my heart survive the shock?"

Harry laughed and said, "Let's risk it. If not it will be my turn to bring you back to life."

Severus rolled his eyes and Harry shuffled off the sofa and perched on the arm of Severus' chair. He tore the sheet from the notebook and handed it to Severus and it was only the man's many years of spying that helped to stop him falling off his chair.

"I had no idea you were into erotica, Mr Potter," he said, his voice deep even as his blood pooled in his groin.

"I thought I'd see how my anatomy skills stacked up," Harry said, leaning against Severus' shoulder, his mouth close to Severus' ear. "What do you think?"

"You seem to have the basics."

"Watch," Harry whispered, before waving his wand over the drawing, which sprang to life moments later.

"Oh," Severus said, not quite trusting himself to say more. He looked at the drawing in his hands and watched as the pencil version of himself pinned Harry to the bed and thrust in and out of him. He was fairly certain he was blushing, though how there was any blood left to spare for his cheeks he didn't know.

"Like it?" Harry asked, giving his ear a nip.

"What do you think?"

"Fancy enacting this little scene?" Harry asked, biting and sucking on Severus' neck.

"You've forgotten that we have guests arriving," Severus said, sparing a moment to silently damn himself for agreeing to Harry's nonsensical request. He had been perfectly content to cocoon himself away in their little love nest permanently but Harry had warned against them becoming recluses.

"Oh damn. Is that today? I've quite lost track of time what with you buggering senseless every day."

"I haven't heard you complaining," Severus replied, tearing his eyes from the lascivious drawing and looking up at his lover.

"Not likely to either," Harry said with a smile, and Severus had to wonder what he had done to deserve this man in his life. "I suppose I should try and cobble something together for dinner. Can't have our guests going hungry."

He gave Severus a peck on the cheek and hopped off the armchair while Severus cast one last fond look at the drawing before pocketing it. As he did so, he felt something else in his robes and extracted it, remembering that he had picked it up for Harry.

"Harry," he said, joining the man in the kitchen. "I know we've decided to take this year out to…recover from things but have you considered what you want to do after that?"

Harry put down the pans he was holding and looked at Severus with a frown. "What do you mean?"

"There will be a world beyond this cottage, beyond this next year. What do you want your future to look like?"

Harry's frown deepened and Severus watched as the man's thoughts played out across his face. "I was kind of banking on the fact that we'd still be together after this year," he said uncertainly, and Severus thought he had perhaps never loved the man as much as he did at that moment.

He moved closer with a smile and cupped Harry's cheeks gently. "I wasn't referring to our relationship," he assured the man. "There's no question that whatever future awaits us we'll face it together. I was only inquiring as to what your personal plans might be."

Looking relieved, Harry said, "I honestly hadn't made any." He paused then ran a hand through his hair, crinkling his nose as he did so. "Besides surviving Voldemort and hopefully pursuing something with you…I don't really know what my future looks like," Harry admitted, and Severus felt a swell of protective affection for the man in his arms.

Harry had never been able to explore an identity for himself outside the cards that fate had dealt him and Severus wanted to be the one to help the man discover just who he could become.

He reached into his pocket and extracted the leaflet he had picked up weeks ago. He handed it to Harry and said, "Erotic drawings aside, you have real talent. I think perhaps you should explore it."

"The London School of Art?" Harry said, his eyes on the leaflet. "You think…you think I should apply?"

"I think you should consider it as an option. We could…perhaps rent a flat in London…should you choose to attend."

When he looked up, Harry was smiling. "You want to live together?" he asked, looking far too pleased with himself.

"We're already living together," Severus said with a sniff, aware that he had shown his hand.

"We're holidaying together," Harry corrected, still smiling, looking like the cat that got the cream. "It's not quite the same thing as making a commitment to living together."

It would have been easy at that point to dismiss Harry's point, to retreat behind the safety of hiding his feelings but he'd spent a lifetime doing that and he was sick of it. Harry was the best thing that had ever happened to him and he'd be damned if he let the man slip through his fingers because of his own foolishness.

"Well then," he said with more courage than he truly felt, "I suppose I'm making a commitment."

Harry's smile turned from smug to tender and the part of Severus' brain that was screaming at him to turn and run was drowned out completely by his overwhelming desire, his need, to forge something with Harry that could be spectacular.

"Think about it," he said, gesturing to the leaflet in Harry's hands. "Whatever you decide, I'll support you."

An hour or so later and Harry was hovering contentedly around the oven when there was a knock at the door. Steeling himself for an evening for which he had mixed feelings, Severus opened it and welcomed Ron and Draco into their little cocoon.

Things started a little awkwardly. Ron kept calling him 'Professor' or stumbled over his first name, casting looks between him and Harry, as though he expected them to start shagging on the dining table at any moment. Draco seemed a little uncomfortable, as though he was wondering how he had possibly ended up there, although he was perfectly polite.

Ron was still in mourning, as was Harry, and Draco seemed somehow cut adrift. The loss of his parents, despite their betrayal, had affected him and he seemed to be relying on Ron more than ever. They made a surprisingly good couple; they were affectionate and tactile yet they sniped and jibed at one another with delightful wit and sarcasm.

As the evening continued and everyone began to relax a little more, Severus found himself enjoying the company he was in. Ron as quick-witted and very sharp. His pithy one-liners and comebacks were very amusing and he was the only person who managed to keep Draco and his rather self-involved tendencies inline.

"How goes the repair work on the castle?" Harry asked as he topped everyone's glasses up.

"Still a long way to go," Ron replied, one arm swung casually around Draco's shoulders as they sat together on the sofa. "There was a hell of a lot of damage done and the repair work isn't straightforward."

"We have an architect in the making," Draco said with a sly smile.

"Oh?" Severus asked, looking at Ron who flushed beneath his freckles.

"I just find it interesting," Ron said with a self-effacing shrug.

"He's been working with the chief architect," Draco said, ignoring Ron entirely, "who says that Ron shows real talent with architectural charms. He's suggested Ron pursues it."

"Will you?" Harry asked perching on the arm of Severus' chair. Severus wrapped an arm around the man's waist, watching as Ron's eyes flickered to it for a moment, although he didn't seem discomforted by the gesture.

"I think I might," Ron said thoughtfully. "I'll see how it goes with the Hogwarts restoration and then…look into courses. I'd never even considered it before but I think it's something I'd like to do."

"Besides, architects make a bundle and I'd quite like to be kept in the style to which I've become accustomed," Draco said imperiously and Ron snorted.

"Who says I intend to saddle myself with you indefinitely?" Ron said in a tone that told Severus that that was exactly what he intended to do.

"I credit you with enough sense to know what's good for you," Draco said with a smile, leaning up to press a kiss to Ron's jawline.

"I'm going to art school," Harry said suddenly, and Severus looked up at him in surprise, wondering when the man had made that decision.

"You're what?" Ron said, clearly bemused.

"I'm going to art school," Harry repeated, his voice certain. "I…um…I've kind of been drawing for years now and I never thought anything of it…but Severus has made me think I might be able to pursue it seriously."

"Can…can I see some of your stuff?" Ron asked, and Severus could feel Harry's relief that he hadn't been laughed at.

"Sure," Harry said, hopping off the armchair and grabbing his portfolio from the bookcase. Severus briefly toyed with the idea of showing Ron the folded up piece of smut in his pocket but it would have been too cruel to make the man's head explode in such a way.

"Oh wow, Harry," Ron said softly as they flicked through Harry's drawings together. "I never knew. These are incredible. Oh look at Fred and George! And there's Neville; that's a brilliant one, you've really captured that crooked smile of his. And…oh. It's Hermione," Ron said, holding the parchment in his hands reverently.

Severus watched as Ron and Harry both looked down at the drawing of their lost friend. Harry's head came to rest on Ron's shoulder and together they studied the face in front of them. "Severus is right," Ron said eventually, his voice quiet, "this is what you should do with your life. These drawings are incredible."

Ron looked up and met Severus' eyes, offering him a smile that was as warm as it was approving. Severus didn't need Ron's approval, didn't need anyone's approval for that matter, but it was strangely comforting to know he had it all the same. ~*~

Severus shook his head as the fog cleared, smiling at the brief glimpse he had got of the post-war life he and Harry had had. Harry had told him that they'd gone to the cottage after the final battle and it seemed to be the tonic they had both needed.

That had been the first step they had taken to begin the next phase of their lives, to face the world as a couple and figure out what they meant to one another. It was an important time and Severus was glad he had been able to remember a fraction of it himself. Still smiling, he retrieved his robes from the wardrobe and prepared himself for the next stage in his and Harry's relationship.

The ceremony was held in their garden and the unpredictable British summer weather was kind to them. It was a simple service, presided over by a smiling Ministry official while their friends sat beneath a charmed pergola that Ginny had been responsible for. Gabe stood with his parents, beaming from ear to ear as he stood resplendent in a diplomatically-coloured red and green waistcoat.

Severus couldn't help but feel a pang of regret that, save for a brief glimpse, he couldn't remember their wedding. He had seen how beautiful Harry had looked, how happy they both had been, but he couldn't remember saying his vows or making love to Harry for the first time as his husband. It made him all the more determined to enjoy their renewal service and etch every moment of it onto his mind.

He said his vows with conviction and hoped that Harry could see how much he meant them. He drank in the sight of the man he loved, the man who, despite their rocky history, was his partner in love and life. Harry was not only his husband but the father of his child and Severus knew, with more certainty than he had ever felt about anything, that his life lay with Harry.

When the officiant declared it time for them to kiss, Severus took Harry in his arms and kissed him for all he was worth. Harry responded beautifully and it was almost enough to forget that a contingent of their friends were watching them. It was only when Gabe said, "Oh come on, guys! Stop it," that Severus reluctantly pulled back.

The boy barrelled into them and Severus hoisted him onto his hip, despite the fact that Gabe was getting too big for such things. Harry wrapped his arms around them both and kissed Gabe's cheek as he smiled up at Severus, his eyes bright.

"Here's to the next ten years," Severus said softly.

Champagne flowed and Severus found himself migrating from one conversation to the next. He felt a lot more at ease around the assembled group than he had done months ago at Harry's birthday party and he enjoyed their company. He would always feel most comfortable with Ron, Draco and Ginny but these people were his family, Harry's family, and it was good to feel he still had a place amongst them.

"I remember coming and visiting you both that year you were living in the cottage," Ron said as they sat side by side on one of the garden benches, Ron lounging as he normally did.

"You must have thought Harry had lost his mind," Severus replied as he watched his husband and Remus playing with all the children.

"Nah," Ron said with a smile. "The two of you made sense and I could see how much you meant to one another. You were good for him, Sev, you are good for him. That year…it was important for you both."

Severus nodded. Harry had told him as much and he'd seen snatches of it himself. They'd needed time to heal and time to simply just be together. After a lifetime spend under the scrutiny of others it had been good for them to sequester themselves away from the world and focus solely on one another.

"It was nice for me to get to know you too," Ron continued with a slightly embarrassed smile. "Nice to get to know you for you are rather than who I thought you were. It was…a relief to find that I liked you for your own sake rather than for Harry's."

"We've…become good friends over the years," Severus said, wishing he had more than a few brief glimpses of the relationship he had built with Ron. He'd never had friends, nothing past acquaintances that had been in some way necessary, and he wanted to remember how it truly felt to have such a relationship.

"And we will again," Ron said gently. "If your old memories never come back then I'll win you over a second time with my sparkling wit and scintillating personality."

Severus snorted and said, "I've no doubt." He paused, looking out across the gardens, knowing he must have hundreds of memories that took place there and feeling the familiar pang of frustration that he couldn't remember any of them.

"Have you heard anything from the aurors?"

"Only that the case is ongoing. Ginny thinks the best bet is to get my attacker to reverse the curse."

Ron raised an eyebrow. "Not legally I take it?"

"You know your sister," Severus said, and Ron gave him a look that said he knew precisely what was in Ginny's mind. If only they could catch whatever bastard was responsible.

It was several hours later, when most of the guests had left, that Harry found him in the kitchen. He was looking out of the window, smiling as he watched Ron and Draco playing tag with Gabe.

"Here you are. You wandered off."

"Just getting a coffee," Severus said, holding up the half-full mug in his hand. "Something I can do for you?"

Harry smiled and said, "I'm kidnapping you."

"I beg your pardon?"

Harry nodded towards the doorway and Severus saw a small suitcase leaning against the frame. "Ron and Drake are having Gabe for a couple of days. I thought we needed to celebrate our anniversary properly, just the two of us."

Severus couldn't have agreed more. He crossed the room and wrapped his arms around Harry, kissing the man's cheek and whispering, "I'm at your disposal, love."

Harry summoned the bag and Severus closed his eyes before the man apparated them away. When he opened them again he was standing outside a place that had become very familiar to him. He unwrapped himself from Harry as he smiled up at the cottage. "A perfect thought," he said as Harry led the way inside.

"No more keeping you at arm's length," Harry said softly. "When I married you it was for life. I belong with you and nothing can change that. I'm ready to begin the next step of our life together."

He held out his hand and Severus took it, letting Harry lead him upstairs to their bedroom. It hadn't changed much and Severus could picture the beautiful memory of the first time they had made love, the way Harry looked spread out on the bed, gasping with pleasure.

"I love you," Harry whispered before he wrapped his arms around him and kissed him tenderly. Everything was chased from his head apart from his husband and he was more than happy to surrender himself entirely.

His clothes were removed slowly, reverently, Harry's hands and lips everywhere. The passion between them simmered just below the surface, tangible and overwhelming, governing Severus completely. Inch after inch of his bare skin pressed against Harry's in contact that was too delicious for words. Harry was just as sensual as he'd imagined him to be and Severus melted under the man's touch.

They collapsed on the bed and Severus lost no time acquainting himself with every inch of Harry's skin. "God I've missed you so much," Harry whispered. "You have no idea what it was like not to be able to touch you, to feel you. Those first few weeks when you came out of hospital nearly killed me."

"I'm here, I'm not going anywhere," Severus murmured back as Harry pressed a jar into his hands. He coated his fingers as he kissed Harry's throat and mapped his collarbones with his tongue. His mind might not have remembered the feel of Harry beneath him, but his body certainly did and it delighted in the feel of his husband writhing with pleasure.

He entered Harry with his fingers, enjoying the man's hum of approval as he did so. Harry's hand slid up into his hair, gripping the tendrils firmly as he fucked himself on Severus' fingers. "Oh fuck, Sev. I need you inside me so badly."

"You'll have me," Severus promised, aching to join his body with Harry's. "Do you have any idea how beautiful you are?" he asked, stretching and preparing Harry, grazing his prostate with each invasion. "Do you have any idea what a gift it is that I'm the only person who has seen you this way?"

He withdrew his fingers and Harry smiled up him, saying, "Let me," before he slid down Severus' body and took the man's erection in his mouth, taking it all the way to the back of his throat. Severus gripped the man's hair and groaned in pleasure as Harry's talented mouth teased and tormented him.

Harry's tongue swirled around the head of his cock then moved downwards to lick his shift as his delicate fingers traced dizzying patterns over his balls. His erection was coated in lube and Harry looked up at him, saying, "Sit up against the headboard."

Severus complied and Harry moved up with him, straddling his lap and wrapping his arms around his neck. He lowered himself slowly and Severus closed his eyes as he was engulfed in Harry's heat. Harry moved slowly, torturously, rocking his hips back and forth, taking him deeper and deeper with each movement.

Harry's lips descended on his and the man's tongue snaked into his mouth as he rode Severus with purpose. A dim part of Severus' mind remembered the little scene on the ministry balcony and he knew they could give their past selves a run for their money.

"You feel so good," Harry murmured, his voice rough with passion. "God I'd almost forgotten how it feels to have you inside me."

Severus gripped the man's hips as Harry's pace sped up, watching as his husband let his head fall back, his expression so delicious it sent a thrill through Severus' body. He could hardly believe fate had delivered man into his hands and he wouldn't be stupid enough to risk losing him ever again.

He reached out and wrapped a hand around Harry's straining cock, his wedding ring glistening as his hand moved. He loved the feel of the man's prick against his palm, the breathy little sighs that escaped Harry's lips as he rolled his hand over the weeping head. He moved in tandem with Harry, who impaled himself over and over again as he rode Severus. Severus watched, transfixed, as Harry's cheeks flushed and he bit his lip before he came all over Severus' hand with a gasp of pleasure.

Severus only gave him a moment to recover himself before he gripped him tightly and flipped him onto his back, remaining deep inside him as he did so. Harry let out a little purr of approval and Severus slid an arm beneath him, holding him tightly as he began to pound his husband in earnest. Nothing had ever felt so good, so perfect, and his body had been starved of it for so long. Harry met him thrust for thrust and Severus came hard buried deep inside his husband.

He collapsed against the man, his breathing ragged as skin pressed against skin and pleasure hummed through him. "Oh God, Sev," Harry breathed, his voice dreamy. "That was fucking fantastic. I can't believe I've gone without that for four months."

"I guarantee you it won't be four months before we do that again," Severus muttered against his husband's throat.

He withdrew carefully and cast a wandless cleaning charm before he rolled away, taking Harry with him. The man snuggled against his chest and Severus closed his eyes as a wave of contentment rolled through him.

They must have fallen asleep together as it was pitch black when Severus opened his eyes again. Harry was still cuddled to him, snoring softly, a little smile on his lips. Severus' mouth was dry and the vast quantities of champagne he'd had earlier were catching up with him.

He gently moved Harry off him and slid off the bed, finding his trousers and shimmying into them. He smiled as Harry snuggled into the pillow then slipped out of the room and down the stairs. He fetched a glass of water and took a couple of long, slow glugs before his thirst was slaked.

The moonlight shone into the cottage and some romantic notion compelled Severus to step outside and fully appreciate it. He felt so completely at peace that he wanted to freeze the moment in time. His future was now more important than his past and all that mattered was creating it with his husband and his son, moving forward as a family.

He was about to go back into the house when he heard a rustle from the trees to the side of the property. Peering into the darkness, he tried to see what was the source of the noise but could only make out the outlines of the trees. Dismissing it as an animal, he turned back to the door and had his hand on the handle as a voice rasped, "Hello Professor."

He went for his wand but suddenly felt something dull and heavy connect with his skull. Intense pain flooded his head before he crumpled to the ground and lost consciousness.

AN: Should I duck for cover? Are you guys going to throw things at me? Come on, you know I love a good cliffie, but at least I gave you some smut beforehand! I hope you enjoyed it, please let me know!

Apologies for not doing any review responses for last week, things have been a bit busy and I've also been tied up writing my new fic. It's going to be a Harry/George, sound interesting? I hope so.