Confessions

See previous chapters for Disclaimer, Warnings, and Plot!

This chapter's pairing: Yuna x Lenne

The stage lights were blinding as she stepped out before the crowd, the crowd roaring as the band began to play. She smiled brightly as always, putting on a show, never letting her true feelings reflect in her performances. She danced and sang through the setlist, the music numb as the bass rocked loudly from the speakers, her own voice foreign in her ears. It wasn't the same, not without her. She needed to be with her again.

She usually greeted the crowd after the show, but tonight she didn't even stay for an encore. She rushed out the backdoor of the venue, out into the rain, still wearing the clothes that Lenne had made for her. Blue and white, with strings laced up her arms and ruffles along her midriff, her long sleeves and skirt quickly growing damp and heavy with rain. How could she have done that? How could she have left her behind. She ran across the parking lot to the tour bus and hopped inside, stripping out of her costume and shrugging into dark leggings and an oversized sweater, grabbing her phone and backpack before exiting the bus. She called a cab, and without saying a thing to her producers or her security team she left. It only took an hour to reach the other city.

She didn't really expect for Lenne to be home. She stood outside of her house, rain pouring down steadily and soaking into the soft fabric of her sweater, watching the shadows beyond the curtain cast by the fireplace. She stepped into the yard as the cab pulled away, walking across the soggy earth and not minding the mud smearing across her boots as she made her way to the front door, her fingers trembling as she came to a halt beneath the shelter of the porch and knocked on the front door. The shadows shifted in the living room and she listened to the faint sound of footsteps barely audible over the rain, and then someone opened the door. A small girl, maybe five or six, Yuna smiling down at her miserably.

"Hi sweetie. Is your auntie home?"

The little girl blinked up at her slowly, then called over her shoulder. A moment later Lenne was at the door, ushering the child away and stepping out into the cold, crossing her arms over her chest as she leaned back against the door. "What are you doing here?" Her tone was quiet, and Yuna couldn't quite tell from her expression if she was mad or upset at seeing her.

"I...I'm sorry."

The words were simple, too simple. Not nearly enough. Lenne watched her, frowning as she shifted her arms to cross the opposite way, her long brown hair falling down her shoulders, the beads woven into her tresses clacking softly against each other when she moved. "Do you even understand what you're apologizing for?" She tilted her head a bit when Yuna looked down, her frown deepening. "You can't just show up like this. I'm babysitting this weekend. I have a normal life now. Homework. School. A part time job." She clenched her hands around her arms, hugging herself as if trying to hold back the bite in her words. "I don't have anything left of myself to give to you, Yuna. It's all been used up. I don't know what you're thinking coming here in the middle of the night like this but…" She looked up and away, eyeing the empty bird's nest netled into the corner of the porch, her voice suddenly too soft. "Isn't this what you wanted?"

Yuna could feel it, the way she must be hurting Lenne, the way her voice had begun to crack with her last question. "No. Not this. Not like this. You were my best friend. I ruined everything."

"Yes. You did."

Yuna tensed at those words, hunching a bit and taking a step backwards, gasping sharply as her muddy boots caused her to slip. She flung an arm out as she fell backwards, and Lenne caught her wrist, both girls falling harshly to the wooden floor. The wind knocked out of her, Yuna winced and opened one of her eyes, looking up at the girl laying on top of her. "I-I'm sorry! I'm so sorry, are you hurt?"

"No you idiot, I'm just-" Lenne shoved herself up, sitting beside her, shoulders shaking as Yuna sat up on her elbows, watching her as she reached up to hide her face. "I'm just so pissed off!" She grit her teeth, pressing her palms to her eyes. "How could you do that! You promised me we would be together! Then you signed a solo contract with the producers we had decided to sign with without even talking to me about their offer? We were a team! We were amazing together!" She leaned forward and grabbed Yuna's shoulders and pushed her down again, Yuna exhaling sharply as the other girl glowered down at her, eyes filled with angry tears, her face twisting. "How much money did it take for them to convince you it was worth discarding me?! Did I mean nothing to you?"

Yuna's eyes were wide, Lenne sobbing harder as tears dripped down her cheeks, splattering across Yuna's face and chest. She pushed the other girl back slowly so she could sit up, then shifted to her knees and wrapped her arms around her tightly, holding her close as she sobbed against her neck. "I'm sorry. I'm so sorry. I got wrapped up in everything all at once, I wasn't thinking about your feelings. I made a huge mistake, I'm so lost without you. Please, Lenne please…"

"What do you want from me?" The girl sobbed brokenly, fisting Yuna's damp sweatshirt and tugging tightly as she shook her head. "There's nothing left! There's nothing!"

"You!" Yuna shouted, clutching at her painfully, squishing the other girl tightly against her chest. "You, Lenne, I want you! I'm so sorry, please. Forgive me. Please. I can't do this without you. I can't think, I can't breathe!"

"You left me!"

"I know! I know I did, I'll never be able to take it back, the pain I caused you. But please, let me try to make it up to you somehow. Little by little, day by day. I want you beside me. I want to be with you for the rest of my life. It can't end like this. We can't end like this. Please, baby I'm so sorry…"

"Don't call me that!" Lenne snapped, smacking at Yuna as she broke away, the other girl going still as Lenne coiled back her hand and slapped her across the face. "I'm not your baby!" She slapped her again, then when Yuna tried to calm her softly she shoved at her chest, smacking her over and over, drowning out her words. "Don't call me that again! Don't ever call me that again! Don't you dare! Don't-"

"I love you." Yuna said softly, crying as she let Lenne smack at her face and chest, fighting to keep her balance, wincing with each blow but making no move to shield herself or stop her. "Please, please…"

Lenne let out a long frustrated cry and went still, fists against Yuna's chest, panting. Slowly her hands uncoiled, and they reached up and touched her face gently, holding her red cheeks where she'd slapped her before. "I… I can't do this…" She searched Yuna's eyes, begging. "Don't ask me to do this, not again. If we do this and break up again I'll die. You'll kill me. Yuna..."

"I won't. I swear I won't. I would die too." Yuna reached up to press her palm to the back of Lenne's hand, her other hand reaching out to touch her side. "Please believe me. I love you so much. We'll never feel like this again. We'll be happy together, we'll live out our lives. I can give you so much more than this. I want to give you my whole world."

"The contract you signed, I'll never sing with you again…"

Yuna frowned and shook her head as Lenne hiccupped and relented, allowing the other girl to draw her close. "If they won't let you sing with me I'll quit. I don't care about the fans or money, without you there to share it with it's meaningless. You're worth so much more than anything they could ever give me. I'm never letting you go again."

Lenne sniffed and tentatively hugged Yuna back, shuddering sobs shaking through her as she tried to even her breath. "You're saying if they don't let you out of your contract you'll be fine babysitting and delivering pizza?"

"I will deliver the smelliest of pizzas. I'll even work double shifts so we can get our own apartment together. We'll buy a goldfish and live paycheck to paycheck. It's the modern middle-class dream."

Lenne laughed softly at that, pulling away from Yuna to wipe her eyes, Yuna watching her with a smile and shivering, her damp clothes cold now that they'd sat outside for so long. Lenne finally seemed to notice how soaking wet the other girl was, and sighed heavily, shaking her head. "What are we going to do with you. Did you even tell anyone you were coming here? Come on. I'll let you borrow some clothes."

The girls got to their feet, and after kicking off her muddy boots Yuna followed Lenne inside, waving hello to the small girl watching tv who wasn't paying attention to them at all. Lenne found her a towel and then warm clothes fresh from the dryer, bringing Yuna some hot tea and sitting with her at the kitchen table, the tv playing faintly in the living room down the hall. Yuna sipped at her tea, smiling at the scent of Lenne's laundry detergent wrapped around her, and glanced over at the girl somewhat shyly. "So… I still get to call you baby though, right?"

Lenne looked over at her with an exasperated expression, sighing as she picked up her tea, her tone affectionate as she whispered, "Idiot…"

See you soon!