Chapter 19

Anastasia's POV

We both knew why Grace wanted to visit us. Since Theodore's news we have lost all the plot, which might have meant we also lost track of the importance of issues. Martina stopped attending therapy to no surprise, and as much as we both want her to resume, we want to give her some more time to make the decisions herself. I understand that she is trying to find her identity but at the same time I want her to be better. She still hasn't opened up about Sparrow, and as much as possible we are sheltering her from every police report that she still has to do. I looked at the watch and realised it was still early for Taylor to pick her up. I quickly made some arrangements to make sure I was the one to pick her up this time. She would enjoy some mother daughter time.

Martina's POV

School makes me forget everything that bothers me, everything that makes me tired. Especially with Emily and William, there's not a second that passes without anything funny happening. Emily and I are both very clumsy and William is usually the one that ends up as our victim or either dropping things on him, or we fall and pull him with us. These are moments I never want to forget.

We bid our goodbyes, and went out as usual waiting for Taylor but to my surprise, mum came to pick me up. She never did this. No one ever did it, except for Teddy of course.

'Are you going to keep staring at me or are you coming in?' she joked as I opened the front door.

'What are you doing here?'

'Can't I pick up my daughter?'

'You can, but what's behind this?' I replied as I put on the seatbelt.

Anastasia's POV

'I was thinking of going to the mall, shopping together, maybe going for a coffee?' I suggested as I started making our way.

'I agree to the coffee, but shopping?' She asked. 'You know how much I hate it.'

'Ok, then we can do that.' I smiled.

I knew just the right place to take her. The drive was quite quiet with few jokes here and there. She put on her sunglasses and just enjoyed the sun through the window coming onto her face. I don't particularly like her wearing contact lenses, but I guess she does what she feels comfortable doing. As I parked the car, we changed our shoes into comfy sandals to be able to walk in the sand. She loved the beach, she always loved the sand, and I think this would take her mind off things.

We ordered a few teas and coffees and took them over to the sandy beach. I laid down the towel, and we both sat down and let the water rush next to us. She laid back and I could see her smile. I slid beside her and reached over to her hand.

'You want to play?'

'I'm too old for that game mum…' she chuckled.

'Come on… you're still my pumpkin.' I gently pushed, but I could see she didn't feel like it. 'What do you want to do?' I asked.

'Let's go in the water!' She beamed.

'It's freezing Martina.'

'I don't mind.' She laughed as she pulled her trousers to her knees. 'Come on mum!' She laughed. I could see her enthusiasm just like she was a child. She ran straight into the water almost knocking her cup over. I quickly joined her and we started splashing water on each other. It was freezing, but lovely. I loved seeing my little one like that. I looked at her face and noticed that her lips were turning purple.

'Come on, let's go up.' I suggested as I pulled her to me and started making our way back up. 'You're freezing, besides we soon need to get back home. Your grandmother invited us over for…'

'Let me guess, fancy dinner? Fancy party?' She finished my sentence. 'Is that why she came on Saturday?'

'That, and also to discuss some things.' I humoured as I placed a towel around her to warm her up. 'She…' I started as I quickly rephrased the sentence. 'We believe, you should go back to therapy, and start going to your appointments again.' I hinted.

'I don't need them.' She smiled as she looked directly into my eyes. 'Mum, I'm fine. Really… Plus, I am too busy with school, work.'

'Wow… wait, work?' I was surprised.

'Shit!'

'What's this about? You work now?'

'Yes mum, I work like every other teenager. Emily and I do some extra hours at the cognitive lab running tests for dissertations.' She explained. 'On top of gaining experience and ideas, I am also earning some money.'

'But you don't need to earn some money.' I highlighted. 'Your father and I never left you missing anything. You just have to ask.'

'It's not that mum. I know you've provided both Teddy and I with everything.' She explained. 'I just want to learn the responsibility and make my way. I don't want to depend on you two. I don't even know if I'll end up working with dad nor you.'

'Why not? You can carry on the family business with Teddy.'

'Maybe I'm not interested in that area. Maybe I want to research, or continue on psychology.'

'Martina, we want the business to be run by you two.'

'And what about what I want mum?' she questioned as I fell silent. I knew she was right here. I can't really force her to do something she doesn't want. 'Mum, I just need to find my path, maybe eventually I'll take onto your footsteps and continue dad's business with Teddy, maybe I won't too, but for now I just want to learn to be independent, earn my own money, learn how to prioritise things, learn how to budget, and work my way up independently.'

'Why don't you let us help you?'

'Mum, in 6 years you barely visited me, and neither helped me. I think you're a little too late now.' She replied. I felt heartbroken hearing that; it felt colder than the beach. She looked at me and I think she realised I was taken aback. 'I'm sorry mum, I didn't mean too…'

'You're right…' I admitted. 'You're right Martina, we weren't present. But we're here now…' I replied as I touched her shoulder, but she moved away before I could touch her. 'Maybe we should head back…'

'Mum, please don't tell dad about my job?'

'You know I cannot do that.'

'Please?'

'I'll tell you what, you have to tell him.' I smiled as I started putting away the towels. 'You have a week, if in a week you don't tell him, then I will.'

'Mum you know how he'll act, he'll start with the chronicles of 'Why didn't you tell us?' continued with the sequel of 'You're too young.' and ending with 'I'm very disappointed in you.' she imitated. 'Unless I get the extended version of "What happened to you?" and "I'll increase your security".'

'Maybe we ought to.' I hinted. 'You spend hours running in the morning, skip meals, throw your food away, and let's not forget about ditching Taylor, skipping therapy sessions and you still haven't opened up about your….' I felt myself stuttering. I didn't want to get her to remember all of that, but at the same time she had to open up. 'About Sparrow '

'I'm fine mum… '

'Your nightmares say otherwise.' I replied as I let go of what I was doing and sat back down beside her. She looked ahead of her ignoring my presence and held the towel that was covering her even closer. 'Martina?' I gently asked.

'My nightmares aren't solely about Sparrow.' She replied as she looked at me whilst pulling her knees closer to her body. 'There are gaps mum. I seem to remember till when I was like 8? I'm not sure, and then I have like these spaced out memories.'

'What do you dream about?' I encouraged; now that she started to talk I didn't want her to retreat back in her cave.

'Why did you take Teddy and me away? I remember living in the apartment with you, and dad constantly calling begging you to come back. I keep hearing a baby crying? I don't know if that's the fruit of my imagination.'

'Martina, your father and I were passing through a tough spot.'

'...and the baby crying?' she probed. I couldn't have this discussion with her as yet. In a way I'm glad she doesn't remember too well. I couldn't reply to any of these questions. As much as I wanted her to talk, I couldn't face the judgement, I couldn't face her most of all. I'm afraid she will end up remembering. I looked at the watch, and noticed it was getting late.

'It's time to go…'

'Mum…'

'Honey…' I started. 'I'll give you all the answers, in due time…' I didn't know whether I should tell her everything as yet, or not.

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Martina's POV

I don't understand my mother, she wants me to talk and open up, and when I do ask questions, and try to get answers, she leaves me hanging. I don't know if I should feel angry, disappointed or lost. Whatever it is, I know that I'm all alone. My place in this world is uncertain. We act like we are this happy, well put family, but in reality we are not. Or I think we're not. I never felt like I had found my place anywhere, not at home, not at school, not at my grandparents. Well, I'm lying there. I did find my place with my grandparents, but it's not really my home.

I went into my closet to try and find something decent for tonight's fancy schmancy thing. I hate these gatherings. They always start the same, with the 'How are you doing? It's been a while since we've seen you!' and into 'You've grown so much!'. Then followed by plenty of small talk which I hate. I realised how boring I've become, how little things made me happy these days.. I just wanted to sleep and not deal with anything.

'Yo sis!' Teddy startled me from behind. 'Are you ready?'

'Why do you have to come in here unannounced?' I replied annoyed of not having a minute to myself as he took a seat on the edge of the bed.

'Ohh you want an announcement?' he replied sarcastically. 'Theodore Raymond Grey of Grey family is here in Martina Pheobe Grey's room to check up on her.'

'Ha ha… very funny.' I replied not in the mood for jokes. '...and please, move your person from my bed. There's a perfectly good couch.'

'I showered and am clean.'

'I don't care! I sleep in that bed, and I only touch it.'

Theodore's POV

She was getting more controlling these days, it made me feel choked let alone her. I moved from the bed and took a seat on the couch. I noticed that underneath her books, she had a pack of cigarettes. I moved forward and picked them up and chuckled.

'I thought we had an agreement.' I stated.

'What?' she asked as she turned to face me and realised. 'Where did you find those?' She asked.

'If you want to hide them, don't put them under your books on your coffee table.' I replied as I threw them back on the table. 'You know I have bring this to our parent's attention right?'

'Come on, you promised…'

'So did you…' I highlighted. 'Plus, I already told them.'

'You did what? I don't get it. You want me to trust you and then you betray me?'

'I didn't betray you, but they need to know what's going on with you sis. It's kind of in their job description to take care of you.'

'Heh… Like they've done a good job in that.' She replied sarcastically. 'Teddy, I appreciate your concern, but I would appreciate it if next time you keep things for yourself.'

'There's no way I'm getting through your thick skull am I?' I replied defeated.

'I just need some space Ted… and those are not cigarettes.' She smiled as she lit up one. 'Here try it.' She continued as she handed me one and went back to her wardrobe. I could tell from the smell it was marjuana. I chuckled. My sister always managed to surprise me. 'You know, it helps me keep my anxiety down at times. I'd rather do that than take medications.'

'You never stop to amaze me.' I continued as I enjoyed the thing. I know it's hypocritical of me to expect her not to enjoy this guilty pleasure in life. But I only want the best for her.

'Can you bring some excuse? I don't feel like joining tonight.'

'You know you have to come.'

'I know, I know. I just don't feel like dressing up, and then having to mingle…'

'I'll tell you what, we stay together with Grandma's dog and just go next to the pool like when we were younger.'

'But you like talking to the others.'

'But I love you more.' I smiled.

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