A/N: Sorry for the late update! Tons of stuff going on. I also apologize about the many speeches I have written for this fanfic. Next chapter will be longer and more entertaining. I didn't even write this chapter for the fanfic, I was just bored so decided to write these speeches. Then I remembered about my fanfiction account. And here it is! I know you guys probably won't like these, but it was just something I wrote for fun so I don't really care. Sorry.
I really feel like a true Canadian right now. Sorry. (I live in Ontario where we're probably more American than the rest of Canada, just as a side note.)
"Hello. My name is Lord Voldemort, and I am here to inspire and motivate all of you towards success. I was a young boy when I realized that what I was most passionate about was murder. You see, back then, murder was something that excited me, kept me going, and most importantly, kept me alive. Literally. I know, it sounds rather silly. But it's something that I hold very close to my heart. Not literally, though. I choose not to believe that I have a heart. Hearts are our weaknesses. One-hundred percent of people with hearts die. And that's a fact. Let me tell you this: murder is freedom. Screams of agony are what make me feel truly special. I love to be in control, I love to hold power over others. And having that power, that absolute control, is really healthy to have. I want all of you murderers to know: you are not alone. There is always a ghost trailing you. And that's totally okay. I was penniless when I decided to start killing my inferiors. Now, everyone fears me, and I have all the money I can get. Start murdering others today, if you haven't already, and the results will truly be extraordinary! Thank you all. Oh, wait! Watch this, as a demonstration: Avada Kedavra!"
"Bad evening. My name is Severus Snape. Life is not fair. I hate my life, it is horrible, everyone hates me and I hate myself. Why bother getting up in the morning? Dumbledore forces me to. He's really annoying. Harry Potter is just like his father. Lazy, arrogant. I only like my potions bottles. They don't whine and complain like those bratty children I teach. I have a shirt that says 'Potions Are My Only Friends.' I hate the sun. Or anything fun. I hate it when people laugh or smile. It should be illegal. One time, there was a rainbow outside. I put a blindfold on. It was a horrible day."